Bad Company
by sushigal007
Summary: Keep your friends close and your enemies closer - Lapis holds a toxic grudge. For my daughter, Blue. Set after Hit The Diamond, with references to Steven Floats. Not Lapidot.
1. Storm Warning

Chapter One - Storm Warning

To say it had been an eventful day was something of an understatement, Peridot reflected as she and Lapis watched Steven and the Crystal Gems head for the nearby warp pad. She'd tried (and initially failed) to befriend Lapis. She'd left the barn. She'd returned to the barn with a Roaming Eye full of Rubies on her tail. Rubies, it turned out, who'd been looking for Jasper, not her. She really would've liked to spend the evening recording logs on her tape recorder in order to untangle the jumbled mess of thoughts running through her mind, but unfortunately, her tape recorder was still in a crumpled heap on the floor of the barn.

The distant figure of Steven waved a tiny arm in their direction, and the two gems waved back before the rest of their team vanished into the warp stream.

"So." Peridot said after a moment of silence. "I guess it's you and me then, Lazuli."

Lapis shrugged and continued to gaze at the distant warp pad, idly twirling a baseball bat in her hands.

Peridot waited for her to speak, but when the silence continued, she spoke again. "I just wanted to thank you. For helping against the Rubies," she added as Lapis glanced down at her. "That hand-thing you did with the water was very impressive."

"It was nothing," Lapis muttered.

Silence fell again, tense and awkward, which Peridot found vaguely unsettling because they were supposed to be friends now, right?

"I'm just going to…" She gestured vaguely in the direction of the barn. "Um, so I guess I'll see you later?"

Lapis shrugged again. "Sure, whatever."

As soon as she was inside, Peridot made straight for her broken tape recorder. She hadn't had a chance to examine it yet, and she was hoping that the damage was only superficial. She knelt down and poked it carefully.

"Can you fix it?"

The voice made Peridot jump and she turned to see Lapis stood behind her, baseball bat hanging loosely from her fingertips. "I think so," she said, turning back to take another look at the device. "The casing's just cracked, but the tape seems-"

Before she could finish, the end of the baseball bat suddenly whizzed past her nose and she flinched as it struck the poor tape recorder, shattering both the recorder and the tape completely. She gaped up at Lapis in shock and horror as the other gem looked innocently back down at her. "How about now?"

Peridot swallowed. "I… I don't…" She trailed off and looked back at the recorder. Shattered plastic, broken components, torn tape. She couldn't fix that. "I thought…"

Lapis snorted derisively. "What, you thought we were friends now? That your attempt at a heroic sacrifice made up for everything you ever did to me?" She tossed the baseball bat in a nearby box and crossed her arms. "The Crystal Gems may have accepted you, but that doesn't mean I have to."

Peridot bit her lip and gathered up the bits and pieces of debris. "Do you want me to leave again?" she asked quietly. She didn't really want to leave the safety of the barn; for one thing, the situation with the Rubies had reminded her of just how vulnerable she was. And secondly, all her Camp Pining Hearts DVDs were inside. Even if Lapis let her grab them, it could be ages before she found a television.

Lapis looked thoughtful for a moment. Did she want Peridot to leave? Yes. Absolutely yes. She wanted Peridot gone from her sight, so she wouldn't have to look at her and be constantly reminded of how her triumphant return home had gone so horribly wrong.

She _loathed_ Peridot.

But… Steven and the Crystal Gems didn't. If Peridot left, they'd notice and ask questions. And while she didn't particularly care what the Crystal Gems thought about her, she knew Steven would be disappointed if she didn't let Peridot stay.

"No," she said finally. "You should stay. Steven wants you to stay."

"Oooookay," Peridot said cautiously. "But… do _you_ want me to stay?"

Lapis gritted her teeth. "I… just give me a little space. I'll get used to it." And with that, she stepped back outside and flew up onto the roof of the barn to brood.

She had no intention of making friends with Peridot, she knew that immediately. The only reason she'd even bothered lifting a watery finger to help her was because she'd thought maybe if Homeworld had come for Peridot, they might be there for her too, and she wanted that even less than she wanted Peridot's friendship.

She'd flown back home, expecting to be given a hero's welcome. Sure, it had been more than 5000 years, but she was _gem royalty_ , she was _important._ She had survived civil war and escaped from Homeworld's bitter enemies. But instead of Blue Diamond weeping tears of joy over her return and declaring the day to be a national holiday, she'd been captured before she'd even landed and handed over to Jasper and Peridot. _Peridot,_ who'd suggested bringing her straight back to Earth again, all so she could point out the location of the Crystal Gems. And she was supposed to just forgive her?

But the thing that really grated on Lapis was that she hadn't resisted - because she'd been scared of them. Jasper was large and intimidating at the best of times, and after catching Lapis trying to send a message to Steven, she'd gotten even scarier, spending most of the journey to Earth outside Lapis's cell with a scowl on her face.

And then there was Peridot. Somehow, she'd found Peridot even more frightening than Jasper. She had at least seen Quartz warriors before, on the battlefields of Earth, but Peridot was unknown to her. And with her metal limbs and floating fingers that could form weapons, tools and screens of information, she was the living personification of this new Homeworld that had changed so much in her absence. The discovery that Peridot was not a new kind of terrifying mechanical warrior, but a small and harmless drone was just… humiliating.

Lapis Lazuli had God-like powers. Peridot could barely run three feet without falling on her face. But Lapis had cowered before the other gem and let Peridot order her around. It was like finding out she'd been scared of a Pearl, although perhaps that wasn't the best example, she belatedly realised. There was, after all, at least one Pearl that even the Diamonds had been afraid of. But it was probably safe to say that no Diamond was scared of Peridot.

She hated Peridot and Jasper for making her feel that way. Jasper had at least been punished for that; it would be a long time before she underestimated Lapis again. But Peridot…

She had assumed that while she was holding Jasper prisoner, the Crystal Gems would have hunted Peridot down and bubbled her for her crimes. Instead, the little pest had managed to worm her way into their affections to the point where Steven was willing to throw himself in front of an invading spaceship to protect her. Garnet had actually _unfused_ for her.

Well, fine. She'd rather punish Peridot herself anyway. And if there was one thing she'd learned from her experience with Malachite, it was that it was so much easier to hurt people when they thought you were on their side.

xXx

AN: Don't get me wrong, I like Lapis very much, but she's def. got a mean, vindictive streak - I mean, I'm pretty sure she's actually kept Jasper a prisoner far longer than Jasper kept _her_ prisoner - and I wanted to explore that character trait and how bad it could get.

Also the thing about Lapis being gem royalty may or may not be true - there's a gem with a very similar silhouette in The Answer, and we know she did visit Earth during the rebellion, so it's highly possible it was her. For now though, I'm going with 'Lapis is basically a gem princess.'


	2. Silent Reading

Chapter Two - Silent Reading

While searching the barn for supplies for the drill, Peridot had found an old roll of wallpaper and put it aside in case she ever needed it. Now she dug it out of a box, unfurled it and was thoroughly absorbed in her plans when she heard the soft whoosh of wings behind her. She turned around and watched warily as the other gem approached her with one arm behind her back, half expecting her to snatch the paper away and tear it up.

Lapis took a deep breath and whipped her arm out. Peridot flinched, but relaxed a little when she realised the other gem was holding out a leafy branch. "I'm sorry I lashed out at you earlier," Lapis said, trying to sound sincere. "I've been thinking, and if Steven and the Crystal Gems trust you, I need to accept that you have earned that trust."

"Oh." Peridot sat back on her heels, relieved. "Well, then I accept your apology." She glanced at the branch Lapis continued to hold out and wondered what its purpose was for.

Lapis followed her glance and then laughed slightly. "Ah, this is for you. Steven showed me trees and leaves and I thought they were fascinating. I thought you might like some."

"Wow, thanks!" Peridot exclaimed and reached out to take the branch. The leaves were shiny green and prickly and she winced as they scratched her arm. Lapis fought back a smirk as Peridot struggled to find a way to hold it comfortably; she'd deliberately sought out the most unpleasant plant she could find.

"So… what are you doing?" Lapis asked, trying to decipher the younger gem's untidy handwriting.

"I was just making a few plans for the barn's repairs," Peridot explained, placing the branch to one side. She pointed to one side of the sketch. "I haven't got much yet, just a kitchen and bathroom for if Steven wants to visit. For preparing food and expelling it," she added at Lapis's blank expression. "And I left your side of the plans blank. I thought you might like to design that yourself."

Lapis glanced over the line on the floor to the other side of the barn. "Yeah, I guess so," she said vaguely. "I suppose we ought to start by fixing that hole. How did that happen anyway?"

"Ah. That was actually my fault." Peridot blushed slightly. "I… stole a diamond communicator, ran off in a giant robot and tried to contact Yellow Diamond. That was when I called her a clod," she clarified as Lapis turned to look at her in bewilderment. "I don't mind switching sides if it bothers you, but I thought you might like to keep some of it? You could use it to fly in and out."

Lapis considered that for a moment and then nodded. "All right, that would be nice."

Peridot quickly sketched in a window, high up on the wall, and filled in the rest of the space. "Anything else?" she asked, looking expectant.

Lapis shrugged. She hadn't really thought much about what she wanted for her side of the barn yet and quite honestly, she didn't know enough about the Earth to decide right now. "I don't know. I'll have to think about it," she admitted.

Peridot nodded. "All right. Well, in that case, would you like to do something else?" she asked hopefully. "A bonding activity?"

"Like what?" Lapis asked cautiously.

Peridot thought for a moment, trying to think of something Lapis might like instead of what she wanted. "What about bird watching?" she suggested.

"Bird watching?" Lapis repeated.

"Well, birds are creatures that fly - like you," Peridot explained. She jumped to her feet and rummaged in a box for a moment, drawing out an object that was unfamiliar to Lapis's eyes. "Steven's dad gave me this book after I pushed him off of the roof," she explained, flicking through the pages. "See, they come in many subspecies and exhibit a fascinating array of behaviours, so apparently, humans enjoy observing them to see how many different ones they can identify. Ah ha, waterfowl!" She stopped and held up the book so that Lapis could see. "This one is a swan. It can break a man's arm."

Lapis frowned. She hated being reliant on Peridot for information, but even ignorant as she was, she was pretty sure that couldn't be right. "I don't believe you."

"No, really, it's true!" Peridot insisted. "I didn't believe it myself either, but Pearl assures me it's possible. Amethyst also says they can blow up a house. They're owned by the Queen of England," she added. "So I have deduced that she employs them as her bodyguards."

"May I have a look at that?" Lapis said suspiciously. "I just mean, I'd like to know a little more about birds before I go looking for them," she added as Peridot hesitated.

"…All right," Peridot said reluctantly. She didn't really want to hand over another one of her treasured gifts to Lapis, but if they were going to be friends, she was going to have try and trust her.

As soon as the book was in her hands, Lapis flew up towards the top of the barn, perched on one of the beams and began reading.

Peridot watched her for a moment, then sighed, realising she'd abandoned. Still, she had to admit Lapis had a point; they could hardly go bird watching if Lapis couldn't identify a bird. In the meantime, she'd get back to work on the plans.

"Hey, Peridot?" Lapis asked half an hour later.

"Yes?" Peridot asked eagerly, bouncing to her feet in anticipation.

"Do you have any more of these book things?"

xXxXx

Three days later, Lapis was still reading. She'd devoured every book in the barn, including several encyclopaedias (B, K, N-P and Y), all the newspapers from thirty years ago and a Crying Breakfast Friends companion guide Steven had left behind. The anticipated bird watching activity had failed to materialise and Peridot was bored and lonely. She'd made several attempts to entertain herself, from beginning repairs to sorting through the boxes of junk to watching television, but Lapis had asked her to keep the noise down each time, and each time she'd stopped what she was doing in an attempt to be accommodating.

Finally Lapis closed the book she was holding, stood up, stretched and jumped off of the beam, gliding easily back down to ground level. "Is there anything else to read?"

"No," Peridot said shortly. "You read everything."

"I enjoyed it," Lapis said simply. "I think I'd like some books on my side of the barn. Oh, here's your bird book back," she added. "It was very interesting. I hope you don't mind that I folded down the corners on the ones I wanted to find most."

Peridot did mind, but she kept her mouth shut. "Do you want to go bird watching now?" she asked instead.

"Actually, if you don't mind, I'm going to fly over to the temple and give Steven his breakfast book back," Lapis said sweetly, enjoying the other gem's growing frustration.

"But-"

"We'll go bird watching when I get back, bye!" Lapis sang, and flew away. She didn't bother mentioning that she didn't intend to return any time soon.

xXxXx

"Lapis!"

Lapis grinned at the boy and ruffled his hair. "Hi. You left this at the barn. Peridot said it was one of your favourites."

Steven gasped and grabbed the book out of her hands and clutched it to his chest. "My baby!" Unlike Peridot's bird book, Lapis had taken care to keep it in good condition. "Come on in," he offered, standing aside so that she could enter.

Once inside, Lapis looked swiftly around the room, taking in the scene. The Crystal Gems were standing by the warp pad, looking expectantly at Steven, who had a bag at his feet. "Are you going on a mission?" she asked, unable to believe her luck.

"You got it," Amethyst said cheerfully. "G reckons there's a corrupted gem in the desert, so we're gonna go and kick its butt."

"May I come too?"

"Of course." Garnet adjusted her shades. "I was hoping you'd be here for this."

Lapis smiled and joined the gems on the warp pad. Then she frowned as Steven made no motion to join them. "Wait-"

"Bye Steven!" Pearl trilled. "Don't forget to brush your teeth and go to bed on time!" And before Lapis could ask what was going on, they were gone.

xXx

Amethyst watches too many movies. And even then, the swan was innocent.

Also, you know what's worse than somebody folding down the corners of your books? Somebody taking off the dustjackets and leaving them on the floor to be stepped on *cough*Blue*cough*.


	3. The Sun Always Shines On TV

Chapter Three - The Sun Always Shines On TV

Peridot was hammering boards onto the barn when the air suddenly split and Steven and Lion appeared a short distance away. "Steven!" she cried and dropped her hammer. "What are you doing here? Where's Lazuli?"

"Hiiiii!" Steven sang, sliding off Lion's back. "The Gems sent me to stay. They're on a mission in the desert and Garnet said it could take a couple of days and Pearl said she didn't want me to get dehydrated. You don't mind, do you?"

"Of course not!" Peridot looked around. "But Lazuli was just heading over to the temple to give you back your book, she must have just missed you."

"Oh no, she was there," Steven said cheerfully. "The Gems took her with them. I think Garnet wants to see how well her powers work away from water."

"Oh." Peridot frowned.

"So what are you doing?" Steven asked, picking up the hammer and handing it back to her. "How's the repairs going?"

"Thing's aren't progressing quite as fast as I'd anticipated," Peridot admitted. "Lazuli's been reading and I didn't want to disturb her."

"Roommates can be a blessing and a curse," Steven said loftily. "Just yesterday, Amethyst ate all the food, which was really annoying because we'd only just restocked the fridge. But," he added brightly, "now you can work. And I can help you!"

"Very well," Peridot said with a nod. "You should come and take a look at the plans then."

Once inside, she unrolled the wallpaper and began pointing out various features. "This side of the barn is Lazuli's. As you can see, there's not much there at the moment except for the window and the bookshelves. Now, the _other_ side…" She pointed to her drawings, which included a floor plan, preliminary 3d sketches and plans for plumbing and telecommunications. "The lower level has a basic kitchen and bathroom for you, and a workshop for myself, while the upper level has an area for leisure and entertainment. I have also made plans for a small sleep chamber, although I am also considering making one of those seating units that can be converted into a bed," she monologued. "Both options have their advantages and disadvantages, for example, a sleep chamber would mean taking space away from the entertainment area, but would ensure that you had privacy during your sleep cycle. Actually," she said thoughtfully, picking up her pencil, "I think the sleep chamber would be the better idea. That way you won't be disturbed by the television."

" _Wow,"_ Steven gasped, his eyes wide with awe. "Peridot, this is amazing! You've put so much thought into this! Are these bits really for me?"

"Of course. I want you to be comfortable here when you come to visit. Are the plans sufficient?" she asked anxiously. "There's still a lot I don't know about humans. Is there anything else you require?"

"No, no, it's great!" Steven reassured her. "The only thing that would make it super-perfect is a water slide into the lake!"

"Water… slide…" Peridot repeated, scrawling the words on the paper. She frowned. "What's a water slide?"

"A slide is a smooth slope you slide down. A water slide is exactly the same, except you land in water at the bottom," Steven explained, but he could see that Peridot was struggling to understand. "Hold on, I'll find a video on TubeTube."

The two spent the next few minutes laughing at videos of cats on slides. And dogs. And otters. And toddlers. And adults. And for some reason, a person in a hotdog costume.

"A water slide," Peridot said eventually, and sketched it in. Then she sketched a small Steven sliding down it on Lion.

"That's really good!" Steven said, delighted. "I thought you'd be bad at drawing."

Peridot snorted. "What, because I can't paint Amethyst with a giant robot?"

"Well, yeah, kinda," Steven admitted.

"I'd never used paint before," Peridot explained, adding herself into the sketch. "And my robot was designed for brute force, not dexterity. But technical drawing is one of my skills."

"Do Garnet next!" Steven begged, and watched in delight as the figure appeared on the page. "And Amethyst! And Pearl!"

Peridot sighed and flexed her fingers, which were beginning to ache. She was still unused to holding a pencil with her actual fingers for any length of time, although Pearl had previously assured her it would get easier. "I'll have to add them later."

"OK. And don't forget to add Lapis too. She can be flying above us." Steven paused for a moment. "How are things with you two, anyway? Are you getting along all right?"

Peridot frowned. "I think so?" she said slowly. "I'm not sure. I don't know. She did give me a gift though," she added brightly.

"Aww." Steven grinned. "What did she give you?"

He blinked in surprise as Peridot pointed at the branch of holly carefully propped up against the wall. "I'm not quite sure what to do with it, but I appreciate the gesture."

Leaves, Steven realised. He wondered why Lapis had chosen holly, which couldn't have been easy to transport, but figured she must have had her own reasons. "That reminds me, did you mange to fix your tape recorder?"

Peridot's face fell. "No," she said glumly. "It was too badly damaged."

Steven winced in sympathy. "I'm sorry."

"It wasn't your fault." Peridot sighed. "I miss it though."

There was a moment of silence, and then Steven spoke again. "Have you thought about keeping a diary?"

"They're real?" Peridot asked, surprised. She'd seen diaries mentioned in Camp Pining Hearts several times, but then, she'd also seen Francine fly across the lake with a hang-glider made of coat hangers and cardboard in season four and after beginning construction on her own replica, Steven had rushed to inform her that actually, things on television weren't always necessarily accurate and some of it was straight-up lies.

"Really real," Steven confirmed. "Except cursed ones, that's a television lie. Probably. I keep a diary myself," he added, reaching over for his cheeseburger backpack and rummaging through it. "When I first went to live with the gems, Dad gave it to me so I could write about all these new things that were happening to me. See!" he held a notebook proudly aloft.

Intrigued, Peridot scooted closer. "Can I read it?" she asked hopefully. She knew the characters on television were very protective of their diaries, sometimes even to the death, but she didn't know if that was another television lie or not. Although she was fairly certain that whatever Steven's answer was, she probably wouldn't end up drowned in the lake, unlike poor Claudine from season six.

Steven hesitated. "It's private. But you can read a little bit," he added as her face fell again. He flicked through the pages and stopped near the beginning. "This is from when I first summoned my shield."

Peridot skimmed the page quickly, hoping it might give her some advice. She'd been secretly trying to summon a weapon of her own over the past few weeks, but all she'd managed to do was give herself a headache. Unfortunately, all she learned from the entry was that her powers probably wouldn't come from singing and ice cream.

"So, what do you think?" Steven asked. "Do you want one? We could head into Beach City right now and get you one."

Peridot thought for a moment. She really should get back to work on the repairs… but then again, she _really_ wanted an outlet for her thoughts and feelings and a diary sounded like the perfect replacement. "All right. Let's go."

xXxXx

Lion had refused to budge from the box of old newspapers he'd curled up in, so Steven and Peridot had warped back to the temple instead and began walking into the town. "We'll visit my dad first," Steven said as they strolled across the beach. "I had to spend all my money replacing my snacks, so I'll have to ask him for some more."

"Do you think he'd be able to give you enough for a bathroom suite as well?" Peridot asked hopefully. "I'd like to get that installed as quickly as possible. I've had a look through the barn, but there don't seem to be quite the right parts. Unless you mind if I make it out of wood?" she added doubtfully. "I know the toilet up at the temple was made of ceramic, but I have seen wooden ones on television, although they didn't look particularly comfortable."

Steven shuddered at the thought of the splinters. "No. Ceramic," he said firmly. "I'll ask," he added, sounding doubtful, "but a bathroom suite might be expensive."

"I could cut the Jacuzzi," Peridot suggested.

"You can't cut the Jacuzzi, it brings the whole room together!" Steven said, scandalized. "No, Dad helped build the temple, so he might know where we can get stuff cheap. Ooh, and I forgot to mention it before, but Amethyst said you're welcome to search her room for spare parts. She uses my phone to search websites for broken stuff people are giving away for free," he explained. "I don't know if she'd have a toilet in good condition, but she does have a lot of fridges and ovens, so you could easily take some apart and make one that works."

"That would be very helpful," Peridot said with relief. The barn had a lot of useful stuff in it, but it was a limited selection and it was nice to hear that she might not have to make an oven out of an aircraft turbine and old tyres after all.

They climbed over the rocks by the old docks and walked over the grass towards It's A Wash. The van was parked on the forecourt and Steven could see his father and Buck Dewey sat beside it, guitars in hand. "Hiiiii!" he yelled.

"Hey Steven, Peridot!" Greg greeted, placing his guitar aside for a moment as he stood up.

"Hey," Buck said simply. His eyes were obscured by his shades, but Steven could tell he was cautiously watching Peridot. He belatedly remembered that Buck had been with him when they'd found the escape pod and was probably still under the impression that she wanted to hurt the Earth.

"Hello," Peridot said cheerfully, not noticing anything amiss.

"Peridot, this is Buck," Steven said quickly as Buck opened his mouth. "Buck, this is Peridot. She helped save the world last week. We'd all be dead _right now_ if it wasn't for her."

"Oh." The other boy's shoulders relaxed slightly and he smiled. "That's cool."

"Are you still taking lessons then?" Steven asked. "Can we watch?"

Buck nodded. "Your dad's a really good teacher. But we're about done for today, right, Guitar Dad? I'll see you next week." He raised a hand in dismissal and strode away, tapping on his cell phone as he went.

"So what brings you two here today?" Greg asked, picking his guitar up and placing it in the back of the van.

Steven got straight to the point. "Could I have some money please? I want to buy Peridot a diary because her tape recorder got busted. Oh, and do you know where we could find a cheap bathroom suite for the barn?" he added as Peridot nudged him with her elbow.

Greg thought for a moment. "I can give you twenty bucks for the diary and a nice pen to go with it, but I don't know about a bathroom suite. I'll ask around though. I think I might know someone who can help."

"Yay!" Steven cheered.

"Thank you!"

"Oh, before you go," Greg said, snapping his fingers as a thought occurred to him, "Peridot, I found a book about insects the other day, I thought you might like it." He rummaged around in the van and withdrew an enormous hardback tome, roughly the size and weight of a large toddler, entitled 'National Smithsonian Guide to Insects.'

"Wow, _thanks!"_ Peridot breathed, reaching out to take the book and almost collapsing under its weight. She made a mental note to hide it from Lapis until she'd read it herself.

"That looks heavy. Maybe we should leave it here for the moment and pick it up on the way back to the temple," Steven suggested.

Peridot shook her head and clutched the book tighter to her chest. "No, I can manage."

Steven shrugged. "All right. Thanks, Dad, we'll see you later!"

"Bye," Greg waved as they began to walk away.

Two minutes later, Steven returned and handed the book back.

xXx

Thanks, Drop Beat Dad, you already made this AU. But at least it means Peridot might actually get that Jacuzzi, which I only put in as a joke. I'll have to try and work in Greg's windfall in a later chapter.

Also I'm headcanoning that Peridot is actually OK at drawing because as an artist, I know full well that being skilled in one area doesn't necessarily mean you'll be good at another one.

ETA: I'm finding this anon hate weirdly amusing, partly because holy shit, we're only three chapters in, you ain't seen _nothing_ yet, but mostly because I'm imagining it's being written by Kevin. Hi Kevin! Nobody likes you.


	4. Welcome To Beach City

Chapter Four - Welcome To Beach City

"Steven?" Peridot asked a short time later. "People are looking at me."

"Hmm?" Steven looked around for a moment and realised she was right. People were nudging each other and whispering as they walked past, cell phones in hand. "Huh. That's weird."

"Is it my appearance?" she asked anxiously, glancing down at herself. "Should I have worn shirts? Everybody else is wearing shirts!"

"No, that's not it," Steven said dismissively. "People are used to stuff like that here. Amethyst comes into town all the time." He gasped as a thought suddenly occurred to him. "I'll bet it's because you were on TV!"

"I was?" Peridot said in surprise.

"Yeah, when you sent that message to Yellow Diamond from the communication hub," Steven explained. "It was on all the TV stations. You seemed really scared, I'll bet a lot of people were worried about you. You should smile at them and let them know you're OK."

"Oh." Peridot blinked and then smiled widely at a woman across the street, who smiled nervously back at her. "Hello, thank you for your concern, I am fine now!"

"Perfect," Steven said happily. "That should-"

"Steven!"

Steven turned around to see Ronaldo jogging towards them, a look of concern on his face. "Hi Ronaldo."

"Can I talk to you for a moment?" Ronaldo asked urgently. His gaze flicked to Peridot for a moment. "Alone?"

"Uh, sure. Wait here, I'll be right back," he said to Peridot, and allowed Ronaldo to lead him back down the street. "What's the problem?"

"Steven, what are you doing with _her?_ " Ronaldo demanded, pointing towards Peridot, who was beaming at Mr Smiley. "Don't you read my blog, Keep Beach City Weird? She's an android eco-terrorist! She's going to release all the animals from the zoo!"

"What?" Steven dragged his face away from Peridot and Mr Smiley, whose combined grins were beginning to make his own face ache. "No she's not, she's a Crystal Gem. And she saved the world last week."

Ronaldo looked disappointed. "Are you sure? I don't remember seeing her with them before."

"She's new," Steven explained, glancing back at her. "Ah, I'd better go," he said hastily, spotting Sour Cream approaching. "But if you could put on your blog that she's not an android terrorist or anything, that would be really helpful. Bye!"

"Be careful, Steven!" Ronaldo yelled after him. "Keep the koalas safe!"

"-your concern, I am fine now," Peridot finished.

Steven skidded to a halt beside her. "She saved the world last week!" he blurted out before Sour Cream could respond.

"I helped," Peridot corrected.

"I know, Buck told me." Sour Cream held his phone up for Steven to see.

"Ah! Why didn't I think of that?" Steven exclaimed, smacking a hand against his face. "Does Jenny know?"

Sour Cream nodded. "Yeah, he texted everyone."

As if on cue, Steven's phone bleeped and he pulled it out and read the message aloud. "Steven, bring your friend here ASAP and introduce us. Jenny. Aww, that's nice. We should do that."

They continued down Thayer Street, Peridot continuing to smile at everyone who glanced her way, and turned onto the beachfront. "Fish Stew Pizza is that way," Steven said, pointing to the right, "but we should swing by the Big Donut first so I can introduce you to Sadie and Lars."

Peridot had no objections to that, so Steven pushed open the door to the store and strode in "Sadie, Lars, say hello to my friend, Peridot!"

"Hi Steven, hi Peridot," Sadie greeted cheerfully.

Lars leaned over the counter for a closer look at the green gem. "You're Peridot? I thought you'd be taller."

Peridot's smile wavered slightly and Sadie nudged her co-worker. "Be nice to her, she saved the world last week."

"Wow, Buck really texted everyone," Steven commented. "Well, it was nice to see you both, but we have places to go and people to see."

"You don't want anything before you go?" Sadie asked.

"I have limited funding today," Steven said regretfully. "Maybe after we've finished shopping."

"Makes my job easier," Lars muttered.

Sadie ignored him and smiled kindly at Peridot. "What about you, Peridot? Would you like a donut? It's on the house," she added.

Peridot looked confused. "You're going to let me have the big donut?"

"She thinks you're offering her the donut sign on the roof," Steven explained as Sadie turned to him, equally confused. "On the house means you don't have to pay for it," he told Peridot.

"Ohhhh." Understanding dawned and Peridot nodded. "Yes, I would like a donut," she said over the sound of Lars's laughter.

"OK, which one do you want?" Sadie asked. "We have vanilla, chocolate, white chocolate and raspberry, key lime, lemon meringue, caramel crème, peanut butter, rocky road brownie bite… or maybe you'd just like a plain glazed one?" she finished, taking in Peridot's overwhelmed expression.

"A plain glazed one will suffice," Peridot decided. She waited while Sadie took a donut from the display case, popped it in a bag and handed it over to her. "Wow, thanks." Then she turned to Steven. "What do I do with it?"

Lars started laughing again even Sadie couldn't help chuckling. Steven sighed and turned his back on them. "It's food. You eat it."

"Oh." Peridot pulled a face and handed the bag to Steven. "Would you like my donut?"

"Are you sure?" Steven asked, already pulling the donut out of the bag. "Do you just want to try licking the glaze off at least?"

"No thank you," Peridot said hastily, taking a step backwards.

"This is your last chance," Steven warned her, raising the donut towards his mouth. "I'm eating it now. No backsies!" The donut was gone in three bites and he tossed the bag into the trash. "Maybe another time?"

"Perhaps," Peridot conceded.

"Well, we'd better get going." Steven waved to Sadie and Lars. "Bye guys! I'll be back!"

"Bye," Sadie waved back while Lars shrugged in their general direction. "See you soon."

Fish Stew Pizza was only three stores down and Steven pushed the door open with a cheery "hello!"

"Hi Steven," Jenny greeted, looking over the counter. "Aah, and this must be Peridot! Oh my gosh, you are so precious! Kiki, come and meet Peridot!" she yelled over her shoulder, missing the annoyed expression on Peridot's face.

"She means it in a good way," Steven whispered reassuringly as Kiki appeared behind her sister.

"Hi Peridot," Kiki said warmly. "Thank you for saving the world."

"It was a team effort," Peridot clarified.

"Can I take a selfie with you?" Jenny begged and she stepped around to the other side of the counter. "It'll be so cool!"

Peridot looked at Steven for help. "What's a selfie?"

"It's a photograph you take of yourself," Jenny cut in before Steven could answer. "It's your self-ie. Get it?" She held out her phone and flicked through some of the pictures. "Here's one of me… another one of me… me and Kiki… my nails, they were looking _so_ good that day… oh, here's one of me and this really cool purple cat I saw walking down the street… me… oh, look at this one," she gasped, snatching her phone back for a moment and scrolling rapidly through the pictures. "It's me and the guy who plays Dr Adel Tulba in Under The Knife!"

"Let me see!" Steven cried and lunged for the phone, before gazing at the image with undisguised envy. "Wowwww."

"So, how about it?" Jenny asked again as she pried her phone out of Steven's fingers.

"Jenny, give the poor girl some space," Kiki scolded. "Would you like a slice of pizza, Peridot?"

"Yeah, have some pizza! Our treat!" Jenny exclaimed. "You earned it, girl."

Peridot hesitated, looking at Steven again. "It's food again," he told her. "But it's very different to donuts. You wanna try it?"

"No thank you. I don't think I'm ready to try eating human food just yet," she replied.

"Well, why don't you have a slice to go and then maybe you can try it later?" Kiki suggested.

There was a commotion behind the counter and suddenly Kofi appeared, looking outraged. "What are you doing? Are you giving pizza away for free!? How am I supposed to make a profit when you just give away the merchandise!?"

"Daddy, you're scaring the customers," Jenny scolded. "Ignore him," she said, turning back to Steven and Peridot, who'd both taken a hasty step backwards. "He's just mad 'cause someone stole his phone out of the car."

Steven cringed and began planning their escape as Kofi continued ranting. "I have to pay to fix the car window and replace my phone and you're giving away pizza? Why don't you just give away the money in the till at the same time!?"

"They saved the world last week, I'm giving them a free slice," Kiki said, calmly boxing up two slices of pizza and handing it to Steven. "You won't sell any pizza at all if the world ends."

"And I'm sure your phone will show up any minute," Steven tried to reassure the irate man. "Perhaps some kind citizen will find it and anonymously return it to you." Kofi narrowed his eyes suspiciously at him and Steven decided that was their cue to leave. "Well, we have a busy schedule today, so we have to go now, goodbye!"

"Bye," the twins chorused in unison. "Come again soon!"

xXx

It's my firm belief that as the mayor's son, Buck has the contact details for everyone in Beach City. Well, everyone except Ronaldo. I mean, Ronaldo changes his birthday every year so the government can't steal his identity, so it wouldn't surprise me if he changed phone numbers whenever Buck, who is actually linked to local government, gets a hold of it.

Also, all I could think of when they first mentioned "Under The Knife" was the DS games, so that's where Dr Adel Tulba is taken from. Gosh, I haven't played those games in ages. I think it's time for another playthrough!

ETA: Ahhh! I _just_ watched last weeks episodes - Blue was camping and begged me not to watch them without her - so after that, I went and had a look at Peridot's official Twitter and she's had the exact same confusion about "on the house" as I wrote! XD I guess that's a good sign, right?


	5. A Present For Everyone

Chapter Five - A Present For Everyone

"Right, diary time," Steven said once they were back outside. "The Beach City Visitor's Center has some, but they all have Mayor Dewey on the cover. There's a store on Boardwalk Street that sells stationary though, they should have something."

Peridot allowed Steven to lead her to the store in question, and they spent a very pleasant half hour browsing through notebooks and journals and nice pens and pencils to use on them. Eventually she chose a black notebook covered in rainbow-coloured stars and a small set of glittery gel pens. Steven had also insisted upon buying a pencil, sharpener and eraser in case she wanted to draw in it as well.

"Aaaaaand I think that's everything," Steven said, adjusting the pizza box as he handed the bag over to Peridot. "So what do you say, shall we head back to the car wash, pick up your book and go back to the barn?"

"That sounds acceptable," Peridot agreed.

"And then we can work for a while and have pizza!" Peridot's face fell and Steven frowned, puzzled. "What's wrong?"

Peridot looked away for a moment, and then sighed. "I can't eat it," she confessed.

"That's OK, I can teach you how," Steven said cheerfully.

"No, I mean… I _can't,"_ Peridot repeated. Her cheeks turned dark green with embarrassment. "I can't shapeshift," she admitted, lowering her voice and glancing around quickly to make sure nobody else was listening.

"Oh." Steven blinked. "Ohhhhh! I see."

"I never needed to before," she hastened to add, "so I've only been trying since Amethyst explained the chicken joke to me, but I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to be doing-"

Steven quickly held up a hand to stop the flow of words before it could turn into a torrent. "Hey, it's OK, really! Pearl doesn't eat either, you know."

Peridot frowned. "But she _can,_ correct?"

"Ye-es," Steven admitted slowly. "But to be honest, I think she finds shapeshifting difficult. She doesn't do it very often at all. Actually, I think I've only seen her do it to change clothes," he added mostly to himself. "But the point is, shapeshifting can be difficult for most gems. And it's _really_ dangerous too, so promise me you won't do it on your own," he finished sternly.

"Wait, really?" Peridot was surprised.

Steven shuddered at the memories. "Really _really_ dangerous. Promise me, OK?"

"OK, I promise," Peridot said.

They continued to walk back towards the carwash for a moment longer, both deep in thought, albeit about very different things. Suddenly Steven stopped dead in his tracks. "Oh!"

"What is it?" Peridot asked, stopping too.

"Wait here, I have an idea," Steven ordered, pushing the pizza box into her arms. "I'll be right back!" he yelled, running back towards the beach.

Peridot stared after him for a moment, then shrugged and went back to her thoughts. Nobody had ever told her that shapeshifting was dangerous, but then again, it wasn't really done back on Homeworld. Like fusion, it was considered a tool, only to be used by very specific gems when other methods failed. And as an Era 2 Peridot, she wasn't even sure she _could_ shapeshift. She'd certainly never even thought about doing it before she arrived on Earth because her limb enhancers had all the tools she'd ever required.

But she wasn't on Homeworld any more, and she didn't have her limb enhancers, and she really wanted to be able to try all the food people kept offering her. But she didn't want to hurt herself trying either. She idly wondered what had happened to Steven to make him so wary. She could vaguely recall some sort of crisis happening on his birthday, but she'd been obsessed with working on the drill back then, convinced that the Crystal Gems were worthless slackers who were going to get them all killed, and she hadn't paid much attention to anything else.

She heard the sound of running footsteps and straightened up to see Steven charging back towards her. "I'm back!" he gasped, skidding to a halt in front of her. He doubled over for a moment, panting, then stood up straight again. "Here, this is for you," he said, presenting her with a small paper bag. "I thought it was sad that you couldn't enjoy the food Sadie and Lars and Jenny and Kiki gave you, so I went back to the Big Donut and Fish Stew Pizza and asked everyone for a dollar each so I could buy you something else, something special," he explained rapidly as she tipped the contents of the bag into her hand. "It's called a bracelet! There was a lady on the beach selling them, so I asked her to make one with your name on it and stars at each end so you can be a Crystal Gem without having to change your form!"

There seemed to be a lump in her throat, but Peridot managed to choke out a " _wow, thanks!_ " as Steven showed her how to wear the bracelet on her arm. She raised it aloft and admired the way the sunlight bounced off of the beads that spelled her name.

"I brought one for Lapis too," Steven said as they began walking again. "I was gonna get one that spelled out her whole name, but I thought it might be too long for a bracelet, so it just says 'Lapis'. You don't think she'll mind, do you?" he asked anxiously.

"She'll love it," Peridot reassured him, twiddling the starry beads with adoration.

"Be careful," Steven warned. "If the string breaks, all the beads will fall off."

Peridot yanked her hand away as if had been burned and vowed never to touch her bracelet again.

At the carwash, Greg was applying a wax finish to a van, but he stopped as the two approached. "Hi, you two! Did you get everything you wanted?"

"Yep!" Steven said proudly and Peridot held her bag aloft at an angle that showed off her newest present. "Diary, pens, pencil and eraser."

"And Steven brought a bracelet for me," Peridot added and waved her arm in front of his face.

"Ooh, that's nice. Very pretty," Greg said, taking a step back so he could actually see it. "I really like the stars."

"Me too!" Peridot exclaimed. "I have to admit, I was a little worried about where I would put a star, although my primary concern was that I'd need to retreat into my gem in order to alter my default form and that's not an experience I care to repeat any time soon. But now…" She grinned widely. "Everyone will be able to immediately recognise me as a full member of the Crystal Gems!"

"Oh, well that's great," Greg said cheerfully. He suddenly snapped his fingers. "By the way, before I forget to mention it, I called a friend of mine who works in construction. She said she knows somebody who's got a contract to replace the bathrooms in the city public housing and they're almost finished, so she'll let me know if they've got any leftover stock at the end."

"Aw yay, bathroom suite!" Steven cheered.

"It's only a maybe," Greg quickly interjected. "She said they ran out last time because somebody dropped twelve toilets down the stairs. Different stairs," he added quickly as Steven looked startled. "But I should know in a few days, so I'll call you."

"Yay, maybe bathroom suite!" Steven cheered again. Then he paused. "Which reminds me, while we're here, can I use yours?"

"Of course." Greg nodded towards the office. "You know where it is."

"May I retrieve my book now please?" Peridot asked as Steven headed off inside the building.

"Sure, go ahead," Greg replied, handing over the keys. He resumed his work, but his concentration was gone and he couldn't help watching with morbid fascination as the small gem dragged the book out of his van, wobbled violently and fell over. Perhaps he should've gone for a smaller book, he realised belated, but it had only been two dollars in a yard sale and he hadn't been able to resist. "Peridot? I'm almost done here and the owner's gonna be back soon, so do you and Steven want a ride back to the barn?"

"Yes please," Peridot said with relief. She stood up and heaved the book back into the van again, knees shaking with effort. Then she crawled in after it and began reading.

Steven joined her a few minutes later, and they held an impromptu competition to see who could be the first one to find a poisonous insect that _wasn't_ from Australia, taking it in turns to open to a random page. They were still looking when Greg poked his head around the door twenty minutes later. "You two ready to go?"

"Yeah, I think so," Steven replied, closing the book with a 'thud' that shook the entire van. "Well, Australia may have won this round, but I know America has poisonous bugs too. We'll find them."

"Don't look too hard," Greg warned with a shudder.

The journey back to the barn didn't take long and they arrived just as the sun was beginning to set. Greg lugged the book inside, regretting his impulsive purchase with every passing second, especially when Peridot asked if he'd be so kind as to place it on the upper level. Eventually Steven had a brainwave and bubbled it, where it floated up to the rafters with ease.

"Right, I'll leave you two to get on with it," Greg said eventually, mopping his brow. "Got any interesting plans for the rest of the day?"

"Write in my diary," Peridot said promptly.

"Eat pizza."

"Carry on repairing that hole in the wall."

"You should make the water slide a priority though," Steven said slyly. "Then I could invite Connie over tomorrow and we could have a pool party, like in season three."

Peridot nodded slowly, mulling over the possibilities. "The lake may be a bit too small for a jet ski race and ring of fire though."

"We'll manage without," Steven said hastily, noting the look of apprehension that had appeared on his father's face at the words 'ring of fire'.

"That's a relief," Greg muttered.

xXx

Another chapter I wrote before Summer Of Steven (I'm actually... quite far ahead, haha), and I'm rather pleased to see my theory that Peridot can't shapeshift was confirmed, albeit for slightly different reasons than I anticipated. Happily, the stuff about her being an Era 2 Peridot is easy enough to add in.

Also I don't know much about American housing projects, but I live in a UK council house and the bit about the dropped toilets is inspired by my own experience, in which the contractors did exactly what happened here, and dropped my shiny new toilet down two flights of stairs. Whoops.


	6. Pool Party

Chapter Six - Pool Party

Lapis wasn't in the best of moods when the Crystal Gems completed their mission. When she'd volunteered to come along, she'd imagined herself bonding with Steven, impressing the Crystal Gems with her powers, becoming a valued member of the team, and leaving Peridot all alone, desperate for the scraps of attention she'd generously offer upon her return.

Instead, she'd struggled in the fight against the corrupted gem they'd encountered. The desert had been dry and humidity had been low, and while she'd eventually managed to harness water vapour from some clouds, it had been difficult and the water had evaporated before she'd managed to get more than three hits in. In addition, she'd had a hard time getting along with the other gems. She'd spent years staring at the inside of Pearl's head, and the resentment she still harboured over that meant she'd found herself avoiding the other gem in case she was unable to resist the urge to punch her. She was pretty sure Garnet was still wary of her because of the whole thing with Malachite, and Amethyst just straight-up annoyed her. And worst of all, Steven hadn't even joined them. While she'd been getting hot and dusty and tired, fighting a fight she didn't really care about, he'd been with _Peridot_.

Still, she reminded herself, as she flew over trees, at least he'd be at the barn when she got back. She'd set Peridot to work on repairs or something and steal him away for a few hours so they could hang out together on their own.

The barn appeared ahead of her, now with 75 percent less hole in the wall, and she slowed down and landed by the lake. Then she frowned. For some reason, a section of a human flying machine was hanging in the water, and an unfamiliar human was floating in the lake on their back, with their eyes closed.

She took a step closer just to check it wasn't dead, but its eyes opened and it smiled cheerfully at her. "Hi! You're Lapis, right? I'm Connie."

"What are you doing in my lake?" Lapis said rudely.

Connie's cheerful smile slipped slightly at the gem's hostile tone and she was suddenly very aware that she was alone with someone who'd once tried to drown her. "I-I'm a friend of Steven's," she stammered. "He invited me over."

"Oh. And where is Steven now?" Lapis asked, glancing around dismissively.

"He went back inside to find Peridot," Connie said, pointing towards the barn. "She said she was making water pistols, but that was an hour ago- oh, there they are," she finished with relief as Steven and Peridot ran out of the barn, screaming loudly and waving pistols aloft.

"CANNONBAAAAAAAALL-Lapis!" Steven cried, skidding to a halt. Unfortunately, Peridot clearly hadn't been expecting that and crashed into his back.

Connie, guessing what was about to happen, pushed a foot against the edge of the lake and shot across the water, out of range, as Steven's arms windmilled wildly for a moment. He just about managed to turn and grab Peridot's wrist before he overbalanced, dragging them both into the water with a large splash. Lapis sighed and held up a hand, suspending the flying water droplets in mid-air while she waited for the pair to resurface.

"You're back!" Steven cheered when he eventually came up for air. "How was the mission? Did you catch the gem monster?"

"The mission was fine," Lapis said neutrally, carefully dropping the water back into the lake. "And yes, we caught it."

"So you're really a proper Crystal Gem now," Steven said happily. "Oh, and guess what? I have a present for you!" He swam awkwardly back to the edge of the lake, tossed the pistol onto the ground and climbed out after it. "Come on," he instructed, heading back towards the barn. Lapis followed him, intrigued, and waited while wrapped a towel around himself and rummaged around in his backpack. He withdrew a small paper bag and handed it to her. "Here you go," he said proudly.

Lapis opened the bag and looked at the loop of beaded thread with incomprehension. "What it is?"

"It's a bracelet," Steven explained, and fastened it on her wrist. "See, it has your name on it - well, most of your name. I couldn't afford a necklace. And it has a star at each end," he continued, pointing to them. "So you don't have to worry where to put one."

The thought of putting a star on her outfit hadn't actually occurred to her, but Lapis smiled anyway. "Thank you, Steven. It's lovely."

"I got one for Peridot as well," Steven said, turning his back to zip up the backpack again and thus failing to spot the look of annoyance that flashed across Lapis's face. "So now you match."

"That's great," Lapis said, doing her best to keep the disappointment out of her voice. The bracelet was a very thoughtful gift, but the knowledge that Peridot had one as well kind of soured it for her. "So, what have you been doing while we were away?" she asked, changing the subject.

"Well, yesterday me and Peridot went into Beach City for a while. Then we fixed most of the hole in the wall and left a window for you," Steven said, waving at the upper platform, in the direction of said window. "There's a window seat too - that was my idea," he said smugly. "There's bookcases either side, so you can relax and read and look outside at the same time. Then I had to go to bed because it was getting late, so Peridot made the water slide out of an aeroplane wing while I was asleep and today I called Connie and invited her over and now we're having a pool party," he finished. Then he paused and laughed nervously, suddenly realising that it had been a bit impolite of him to take over Lapis's lake and throw a party in it without her knowledge. "But we can stop if you want. I know it's probably not your thing right now."

Lapis glanced outside at Connie and Peridot, who were now both charging around the lake, screaming with laughter and shooting jets of water at each other. "Well, they look like they're having fun. But we could do something together," she suggested brightly.

"Sure, just let me change first," Steven replied. He rummaged around in the backpack again and withdrew a dry set of clothes, then disappeared behind a stack of boxes to put them on. "So, what do you want to do?" he asked when he reappeared.

"We could go flying again?" Lapis suggested immediately. "That was fun."

"It was," Steven said slowly, "but maybe another time? I can't leave Connie here alone," he explained quickly as Lapis's face fell. "She's my guest."

Lapis opened her mouth to point out that Peridot would still be here, and then sighed and closed it again. She didn't want to argue with Steven. And Connie would leave eventually. "OK. Well, in that case…" She paused for a moment and looked around the barn for inspiration. "Maybe you could help me come up with some ideas for what to do with my side of the barn? There's so much I don't know about the Earth, it makes it difficult to decide."

Steven thought for a moment. "Well, why don't you tell me what stuff you like and I'll try and think of an Earth equivalent?"

She wasn't entirely convinced Earth culture could have any comparison to anything she'd previously enjoyed on Homeworld, but she thought anyway. "Well…" she began slowly. "I like stories."

"And how do you like your stories?" Steven enquired. "Like, do you like to listen to them, watch them or read them?"

Lapis blinked, surprised to hear there were actual options available. "Uh, I'm not sure." She paused for a moment, wondering how to explain. "Back when I was a member of Blue Diamond's court, I used to entertain the other nobles sometimes. Remember when I showed you how I ended up in the mirror?"

Steven nodded. "You used the water to show me. It was like being at the movies, but with less popcorn."

She had no idea what that was, but it sounded encouraging. "I would project images and events on reflective surfaces. Re-enactments of battles and scenes of exotic new planets were always popular. Not as popular as political scandals," she added with a laugh, "but they were always a little dangerous to show. I don't think I'd like to do that myself any more, but if there's something that could show me more about the Earth…?" She trailed off and looked at him hopefully.

"TV," Steven said immediately. "You want a TV."

"Tee vee," Lapis repeated. "What's a tee vee?"

Before Steven could answer, Connie and Peridot limped into the barn. "Oh, hey, how are the water pistols?" he asked them instead.

"A bit too powerful," Peridot admitted, wiping mud off of the filly floral bathing suit she was wearing over her usual outfit. "We keep knocking each other over. I'll have to make some adjustments."

"Yeah, it was fun, but that last one kinda hurt," Connie said, rubbing her thigh and wincing.

"Do you want me to heal you?" Steven asked with concern.

Connie shook her head. "I'm fine, I just slipped and landed hard. You're a good shot," she added to Peridot, who beamed with pride.

Lapis cleared her throat pointedly and Steven glanced back over at her. "Oh, right, TV. I was just explaining TV to Lapis," he explained." Peridot's eyes lit up and he quickly carried on talking before she could suggest a three-week long Camp Pining Hearts marathon. "It's a box that shows sound and pictures for entertainment and education. I bet you'd like documentaries."

"I have lots of David Attenborough ones I can lend you if you like," Connie interjected, pulling a clean outfit out of her own bag and Lapis fought back her dismay as she realised the other two intended to join them. "He's my mom's favourite."

"David Attenborough's a naturalist," Steven explained to Lapis and Peridot as Connie disappeared behind the boxes to change. Peridot, meanwhile, simply began yanking off her swimsuit where she stood, careful not to snag it on her bracelet. "He does documentaries about all kinds of nature; birds, plants, animals, insects, the ocean…" He stopped as both gems stared at him with wide eyes. "I take it you both like the sound of that?"

"Yes," Lapis said immediately, because if she said it first, that meant Peridot was agreeing with her rather than the other way around. "How do we watch this… TV documentary?"

"I don't think we have any videos or DVDs here," Steven said regretfully. "But we can see if something's on right now."

Lapis was still a little confused, but she watched as Steven climbed the ladder on Peridot's side of the barn and switched on the noise machine. "Oh! Is that the TV box then?" she asked, flying up to join him.

"Yep!" Steven began flicking through the channels and Lapis watched in fascination as colourful images flashed on the screen. "Cartoons, news, reality show, racing, another reality show, crime show, quiz show, reality show…"

"Try Expedition on channel 44, they usually have something," Connie called up to him, stepping back into view. "But you really need cable TV to get the best channels."

Peridot made a mental note to add 'cable TV' to her plans and held the swimsuit out to Connie. "Do you want your shirt back?" she asked in a tone that clearly implied she was willing to fight for it.

"That's OK, you can keep it," Connie said with a smile. "It fits you better anyway."

On the upper level, Steven was still flicking through the channels. "There's the survival show with the guy who drinks his own pee, or the family with the zoo in their garden-"

"Zoo," Connie said immediately. She climbed up the ladder to join them, Peridot close behind, and the four of them squashed up together on the sofa to watch the show.

xXx

Everything about Lapis's past on Homeworld here has been completely made up, so let's watch it get debunked it two days flat! In fact, seeing as I actually upload the week's chapters the weekend before, it's highly possibly it'll be debunked before I actually even _post_ this one. Hooray, fanfic!


	7. Night Flight

Chapter Seven - Night Flight

Lapis was fascinated and could've carried on watching all night, but after less than an hour, Connie glanced at her cell phone and sighed. "We need to go now, Steven, my parents are supposed to collect me from the temple in twenty minutes."

"You're going?" This time, Lapis couldn't keep the disappointment out of her voice. "Already?"

"I have to warp Connie back. And I wanna see the Crystal Gems," Steven said, gathering up a few scattered items to put back in his backpack. "But why don't you two come over tomorrow? You can search Amethyst's room for supplies."

"Sure," Peridot said before Lapis could object. "Hey Lazuli," she added, nudging the gem with a pointy green elbow. "If you want, I can make you a TV of your own."

"Yeah, sure," Lapis muttered, scooting out of range. "Or," she added, perking up as an idea occurred to her. "I could have _this_ one and you could make your own."

Peridot considered that for a moment. "Actually, that's not a bad idea. I'll add it to my plans." She hopped up from the sofa and followed Steven and Connie down the ladder.

"OK, I'll see you both in the morning then. Bye!" Steven and Connie waved, and then left.

For the next few minutes, all was peaceful in the barn as Peridot sketched ideas for a dual-widescreen TV with surround sound and built-in game emulator, DVD and video player. She didn't notice as Lapis quietly unplugged the television, bubbled it and sent it to the other side of the barn. It wasn't until she'd finished that she realised the sound was now coming from a different place. "You moved it already?" she said in surprise.

Lapis shrugged indifferently. "You said I could have it."

"Yes, but…" Peridot trailed off. She _had_ said that, she just hadn't expected Lapis to move the TV _immediately_. "Can I join you?" she asked instead.

"Well, actually…" Lapis said, trying to sound apologetic. "The past few days have been really overwhelming. You don't mind if I just sit by myself for a while, do you?"

"I guess not," Peridot muttered. She sighed, rolled up the plan and climbed back up to her own side of the barn. Then she reached into her gem and pulled out her new diary and pens.

Lapis caught sight of the gem glow in the corner of her eye and filled with curiosity, she tore her eyes away from the television, where a man named Wolf was talking about how to extract fluid from a camel's hump (whatever that was), and looked over at Peridot. "What's that?" she asked, nodding at the notebook the other gem was now holding.

"This?" Peridot looked down at the notebook. "It's a diary. Steven suggested I keep one to replace-" She suddenly stopped talking, realising the unfortunate tape recorder might be a sensitive subject to mention. "It's an alternative method of keeping logs," she rephrased. "It's a little slower to record than my audio logs, but it _is_ easier to update existing entries. And I can add illustrations," she added with a small smile.

Lapis narrowed her eyes slightly. "Did Steven give it to you?" she asked casually.

"We purchased it in Beach City yesterday," Peridot confirmed, unaware of the other gem's growing annoyance. "So many of my logs are missing now, I thought I might begin by re-recording the events that lead to my becoming a member of the Crystal Gems.

"Oh, OK." Lapis smiled over at her. "I'll let you get on with that then." She turned back to the TV, but she couldn't concentrate on it any more. Anger and envy were brewing inside her as she mentally ran over a checklist of Peridot's gifts. A diary from Steven, a shirt from Connie, a bird book from Steven's father… and those were just the ones she knew about. Not to mention the bracelet. She couldn't help scowling at that thought. Didn't Peridot have enough presents already without being given a copy of her own gift?

She was deeply tempted to yank the bracelet off of the other gem's wrist, but as she stared unconsciously at the screen before her, a better idea popped into her head and a malicious smile began to creep across her face. She waited patiently for the show to finish, then stood up, stretched, and switched the screen off. "Peridot?" she called sweetly. "Would you like to go bird watching?"

xXxXx

The sky was darkening as Lapis flew through the nearby woodland with Peridot on her back. "The organic lifeforms on this planet go into regular periods of stasis to restore their energy," Peridot was explaining. "They call it 'sleep'. Most of them do it at 'night', the period of darkness that occurs when the Earth faces away from its primary star, but there are some who are active during that period. We should be able to see some of Earth's nocturnal birds emerging shortly."

"I know," Lapis said dryly. "'Nocturnal' was mentioned in one of the encyclopaedias. So was 'night'."

"Right, of course." Peridot was quiet for a moment, slightly disappointed at her failure to share her Earth knowledge. "Can you hear any bird calls yet?" she asked, changing the subject.

"Nope, just you talking."

Peridot got the hint and shut up and for a while, there was no sound other than the wind in the leaves, the chittering of woodland animals and the quiet swish of Lapis's wings. They flew on for a few more minutes, then Lapis felt Peridot shift. "Look, a spotted owl," she said in a loud whisper.

Lapis saw the bird perched on a branch a short distance away, but turned her head slowly from side to side as if she were still trying to spot it. "Where?" she whispered back.

"Over there!" Peridot leaned over Lapis's shoulder so the other gem could see where she was pointing.

"There?" Lapis said innocently, pointing in the opposite direction.

"No, _there_ ," Peridot persisted, and leaned over a little more. But as she did, Lapis turned her body in the same direction and suddenly, Peridot felt herself falling. "Lapis!" she shrieked.

Lapis shot an arm out and grabbed Peridot's wrist tightly. As she did so, she slipped a finger underneath the other gem's bracelet and swiftly snapped the thread, sending beads raining down into the forest below.

"My bracelet!" Peridot howled, making a wild lunge for the beads. "Quick, we have to land, we have to find the beads!"

"Hold still!" Lapis ordered. "I can't fly properly if you keep struggling like that!"

Peridot immediately stopped wriggling and hung limply from Lapis's grip as the other gem circled the trees, looking for a place to land. As soon as Peridot's feet touched the ground, she tore herself free from Lapis's grip and rushed off into the undergrowth, her gem casting a ghostly green glow as she went. Lapis strolled sedately after her and made a convincing show of helping to look for the lost beads, but several hours later, all they had to show for their efforts was an 'i', a 't' and a star. Finally Peridot slumped down onto a fallen tree and admitted defeat. "It's no good. They could be anywhere. They could've been eaten by wolves, for all I know."

"I'm really sorry," Lapis lied. "I must have grabbed your arm too tightly, but it all happened so fast."

"It's not your fault," Peridot said glumly. She rolled the star bead between her fingers and sighed heavily. "What am I going to say to Steven?"

"You can't say anything!" Lapis said at once. "He brought us these bracelets to show we're part of the team and you already lost yours? He'd be devastated!"

"But-" Peridot began.

"Why don't you tell him you put it in a safe place because you were worried it would get broken while you were doing all your repairs?" Lapis cut in. "And then we can come back another time and look again."

Peridot opened her mouth, hesitated and then closed it again. Then she bit her lip and nodded slowly. "All right."

"Come on." Lapis held out her hand and gave the other gem an encouraging smile. "Let's go home."

xXx

Not-Kevin called it! I have to admit, I was deeply tempted not to let their review through until after I posted this chapter!

I also have to admit, I'm not actually sure whether Peridot can store stuff in her gem. I initially thought she could, but I've seen screencaps of that scene in Warp Tour where she grabs the bomb to disable her robonoids, and people have suggested that she actually pulled it out of her hair, not her gem. But on the other hand, we _have_ seen her use her gem as a flashlight on the moon, so clearly, despite what she said in Too Short To Ride, she did have _some_ gem powers, even before finding out she could control metal. So when she said she had no powers, she could mean that the powers she does have are so basic, they're not really considered powers, in which case, maybe she can store stuff in her gem after all and it's just a basic power she doesn't really think about. It doesn't really matter too much, I suppose.


	8. Amethyst's Room

Chapter Eight - Amethyst's Room

Amethyst sidled up behind Steven and peered over his shoulder at the smoking frying pan he was poking with a spatula. "Whatcha making?"

"An omelette." He placed a slice of cheese in the pan and carefully folded the egg over it.

Amethyst's eyes lit up. "What's in it?" she asked hopefully.

"No," Steven said at once.

"That wasn't a yes or no question!" she complained.

"You can't have my omelette," Steven said firmly. He switched off the stove and slid the finished omelette onto a plate. Amethyst pouted at him and his resolve melted. "But if you want, when I'm done, I can make one for you too."

"Nah, that's OK." Amethyst waved a hand dismissively. "I already ate the rest of the eggs anyway."

"Amethyst!" Steven wailed. "I only brought those this morning!"

"It's all right Steven," Pearl said soothingly. "I brought another carton."

"Yeah… I kinda ate those too," Amethyst confessed.

"Amethyst!"

Thankfully, the budding argument was halted by the chime of the warp pad. When the light stream disappeared, Peridot and Lapis were stood there. "Hello," they greeted in unison.

"Hey!" Amethyst greeted. "You made it!"

"Hello Lapis, Peridot" Garnet said. "I hear you saved the world last week."

"You know you have to give that cellphone back," Steven scolded, spearing a chunk of egg. "Kofi's very upset about it."

"He's buying himself the new Saumsang one later today," Garnet replied serenely, tapping at the cellphone in question. "He's been looking for an excuse to do so."

"We should probably give him some money for it though," Pearl said, opening the fridge to see how bad the damage was. "Oh _Amethyst!_ Not the butter too!"

"I was hungry!"

"A whole pound of butter!"

"We ran out of soap! What was I supposed to eat!?"

"Your _garbage_!" Pearl snapped.

Amethyst groaned and threw up her arms in defeat. "OK. Fine. Next time I'll eat the garbage. But I couldn't eat it before because I was saving it for Peri and I didn't know what she might want, all right?" she finished with a wave in Peridot's direction.

Peridot hastily stepped backwards as Pearl turned to look at her, but the elder gem just sighed. "All right, fine. I'll buy more butter and eggs while you all search for supplies."

"Thanks, P," Amethyst said happily. "Oooh, and get some more soap too, that coal tar stuff. I liked that one. Right!" She clapped her hands and strolled towards Lapis and Peridot. "Peri, Lappy, follow me."

"It's Lapis," Lapis corrected.

Amethyst ignored her. "You are gonna _love_ this!"

"Oh, me too!" Steven called, cramming the last bite of omelette into his mouth and leaping up to join them.

Amethyst opened the door to her room, stepped aside to let the others enter and then followed after, smiling proudly.

"Oh my stars," Lapis blurted, gazing around at the towering piles of assorted junk, rubbish and bric-a-brac in awe. Peridot, stunned into silence for possibly the first time ever, turned in a slow circle as she tried to take in everything at once.

"Pretty wild, huh?" Amethyst said smugly. "Yeah, I've been collecting this stuff for a while now, so there should be something useful. So, is there anything specific you're wanting?" she asked, nudging Peridot with an elbow.

"What? Oh, right, yes." Peridot snapped out of her daze and pulled a long strip of wallpaper out of her gem. "I've made a list of some of the features and utilities I'm planning to install in the barn, if you could direct me to the relative materials?"

"You mean show you stuff?" Amethyst asked for clarification. "What do you need? Don't touch that one," she added to Lapis, who was reaching out to touch a giant, stuffed teddy bear. "It's all carefully balanced and if you move the wrong thing, it'll all come down."

"I'm in need of a microwave, oven, fridge, toaster, dishwasher," Peridot recited. "Copper piping, hydrocarbon piping, electric cabling-"

"Gimme that." Amethyst grabbed the paper and quickly scanned it. "Wow. Everything here but the kitchen sink."

"The kitchen sink is item forty-seven," Peridot corrected her.

Amethyst smiled to herself, realising the joke had gone straight over the other gem's head. "Well, I think I can help you with most of this. Let's start with the microwave, OK? I got a couple lying around, let's split up and have a look around."

"Scavenger hunt!" Steven whooped.

"Shout when you find one, OK?" Amethyst instructed. "I gotta check 'em first, there's one or two that still have food in."

"Steven, can I stay with you?" Lapis whispered. "I don't really know what I'm supposed to be looking for."

"Sure." Steven smiled brightly up at her. "Come on, let's see if we can find one first."

Fifteen minutes later, they'd amassed seven and a half microwaves. Amethyst happily licked the grease from the other half as Peridot carefully examined them. "Yes, I think I can easily craft a fully-functional microwave from these," she said happily. "Next on the list is an oven."

"I got ovens," Amethyst replied cheerfully. "Gas, electric or wood-fired?"

Steven looked at the pile of microwaves and imagined how it would look when it was joined by ovens, fridges, sinks, televisions and miles of piping. "How are you planning to get everything back to the barn?" he asked.

There was a moment of silence as everyone stared blankly at him. "The thought hadn't actually occurred to me," Peridot finally admitted.

"Well, how did it all get in here in the first place?" Lapis asked.

"Bubbled it, mostly," Amethyst said promptly.

"Then let's do that." Lapis picked up one of the microwaves, bubbled it, and dismissed it with a flick of her hands. "There."

"Right. Good idea." Peridot looked apprehensively at the rest of the microwaves. "How about, you carry on doing that and I'll start looking for ovens?" she suggested hopefully.

Lapis narrowed her eyes at the other gem, suddenly suspicious. "What's the rush? It won't take us long to bubble this lot if we all work-"

"You go and search, you know what you're looking for," Steven interrupted firmly.

Amethyst looked slightly bewildered as Peridot scurried away. "What was that about?"

"It just makes sense for her to carry on searching," Steven lied smoothly. "Actually, you and me should start looking for the rest of the stuff too. Lapis, you don't mind finishing here, do you?"

"I guess not," Lapis muttered, bubbling another microwave.

"Great!" He beamed at her and she couldn't help smiling back at him. "We'll be back with more stuff soon."

With that, Steven and Amethyst disappeared deeper into the room. Lapis quickly finished bubbling the microwaves and then looked around, bored. Then she unfurled her wings and flew up into the air to get a better view.

The junk seemed to stretch on forever, centuries of debris and clutter as far as they eye could see. As Lapis looked around, she suddenly realised she could see familiar ancient gem weaponry and technology mixed in with the unfamiliar human rubbish, and flew down for a closer look. Yes, there were several gem weapons, including a giant battle axe. And surely that was a wailing stone over there? She idly wondered if it was the one that she'd sent her message to when an idea suddenly struck her. She quickly glanced around, then flew over to the object and bubbled it. Then she flew back to the clearing and waited for the others to return.

xXx

It would appear after all that Peridot and I have _very_ different ideas about what she should be doing with the barn. I certainly didn't expect her to go all Bill Nighy from _Vincent and the Doctor_ , what with the art and the bow tie and all! I'm going to have to ignore that little bit of canon for now, I'm afraid.

Anyway, I have no idea how Amethyst really got all that junk in her room, but bubbling seems like a reasonable explanation. We've seen Chaaaps and Steven get bubbled, so we know it can be done with stuff other than gems. Even though Amethyst's super-strong, carrying mountains of junk home must be tedious, so she probably just zaps stuff back as soon as she finds it. Which also means she doesn't have to dodge enquiries from Pearl when she tries to sneak another broken chair inside.


	9. Wardrobe Malfunction

Chapter Nine - Wardrobe Malfunction

"And that's everything!" Amethyst announced a few hours later, slowing the golf cart they were riding in to a halt beside a broken window. Steven had found the cart an hour into their quest, and once Peridot had repaired it, the search had gone much faster.

Peridot hopped out of the passenger seat and examined the glass with a critical eye. One pane was shattered, but the other one appeared to be in perfect condition, albeit a little dirty. "Yes, this should suffice. Lapis, would you mind?"

Lapis rolled her eyes, but complied, hopping down from the roof of the golf cart and forming a bubble around the window. "Is that everything?"

Perinot scanned down the list and nodded. "Unless you happen to have a toilet lying around?" she asked Amethyst hopefully.

"I've got like, twelve, but they're all broken," the other gem replied after a moment of thought. "Well, if that's all, come with me. I got something else to show you."

Lapis flew back onto the roof and everyone held on tightly as Amethyst sped through her room, taking corners so sharply, the cart was in constant danger of toppling over. "Check _this_ out!" she exclaimed, slamming the brakes on and skidding to a stop in front of a massive pile of fabric."

Steven gasped. "Is that all…"

"Shirts!" Peridot exclaimed. She jumped out of the cart again and approached the mound with a mixture of awe and envy on her face. "Where did you _get_ them all?"

"The beach, mostly," Amethyst said with a smug smile. "It's weird, humans keep leaving their clothes all over the sand. I get them from other places too," she continued, circling the pile. "Like, Vidalia gave me a bunch of her old clothes when she grew out of them. And sometimes I get them from yard sales. I used to take them from washing lines too, but Rose found out and asked me to stop, so I don't do that any more. Oh!" She stretched up and grabbed a jacket from halfway up the mound. "Check it out! Isn't it neat? I gave a homeless guy fifteen bucks and a pair of shoes for it! Sooooo…" she drawled, casting Peridot a mischievous look. "You want some of it?"

"Yes please," Peridot said without hesitation.

"OK, well, have a rummage around and let me know what you want," Amethyst said generously. "I ain't sayin' I'll let you keep everything though, I _know_ I have a pair of hockey skates in there I want." She glanced over at Lapis, who had flown down from the roof of the golf cart to stand with Steven. "How about you, Lap'li? Want some shirts too?"

"It's _Lapis_ ," Lapis corrected her again. "And no thanks. Do you have any books though?"

Amethyst thought about that for a moment. "Uh, I think so? Humans sometimes leave those on the beach too, but I prefer to watch TV. I'm pretty sure I got a bunch of "Sunset" ones over that way," she said, pointing to a stack in the distance. "Let's go look."

"Steven?" Lapis looked hopefully at the boy as Amethyst strolled away. "Do you want to come with us?"

Steven hesitated, deeply tempted by the lure of books, but then Peridot started trying to climb the heap of clothing to get to higher items, giving him an idea. "Maybe later. Hey, Peridot!" he called, running over to the pile. "Watch this!"

Peridot glanced over her shoulder, then her mouth dropped open as Steven leapt into the air, sailed over her head and landed on top of the pile. "Wow!"

"Pretty cool, huh?" he boasted, and began tying sweaters together to make a rope to help her climb up. "I just figured out how to do that."

"Cool," Peridot repeated. The rope swung down in front of her nose and she quickly scrambled the rest of the way up. "How does that work exactly?" she asked, trying to sound indifferent. She picked up a sundress and held it against herself, carefully avoiding Steven's eyes.

Steven shrugged. "I'm not totally sure. I'd done it before a couple of times - remember when I grabbed your foot? But I didn't realise it was a new power until we got back to the temple and I jumped too high and spent all night falling. But I'm getting better control of it now," he finished brightly. "You want that?"

"Huh?" It took Peridot a moment to realise he was talking about the dress she was still holding. "Oh, yes, I find it aesthetically pleasing."

"It _is_ pretty, isn't it?" Steven commented. He took the dress from her and bubbled it, trying to make his movements slowly so she could see what he was doing. "What else do you want?"

"Hmm…" Peridot looked around for a moment, then picked up a pair of denim shorts. "What about this?"

"Yeah, they're nice," he said encouragingly, and bubbled those too.

"And this!" she exclaimed, lunging for a neon pink flip-flop with a large plastic daisy affixed to it.

"Wait, there should be another one to match." Steven looked around for a moment, spotted the twin flip-flop and handed it to her. "Do you want to try now?"

Peridot froze. "Whu-what?" she stammered, spots of dark green appearing on her cheeks.

"Try making a bubble," Steven said encouragingly. "It's OK if you can't, I just thought maybe you'd like to try while no-one else was around."

Peridot hesitated a moment longer, then quickly looked around to see where Amethyst and Lapis were. She spotted them some distance away, talking quietly to each other. They weren't paying any attention to her or Steven. "OK," she said with sudden conviction. "I'll attempt to make one of these bubbles you speak of." She stared at the flip-flops in her hands for a moment with a look of intense concentration on her face. "What do I do?"

"When I do it, I just kind of… think of a bubble surrounding whatever I'm bubbling." Steven took one of the flip-flops and carefully held it in his hands. "See?" A bubble formed around the shoe. "And then I touch the top and think about where I want it to go. And it just kinda… goes." He tapped the top and the bubble vanished. "Now you try."

Peridot took a deep breath and stared at the remaining shoe for several seconds. A bead of sweat ran down her face.

Nothing happened.

"Ugh, it's not working! Stupid, cloddy thing!" She flung the flip-flop away from her in a sudden fit of temper and flopped dramatically onto her back.

Steven sighed and slid down the rope of shirts to retrieve the lone flip-flop and sent it off to join its twin in the barn before jumping back up to join the sulky green gem. "It's fine, really," he tried to reassure her.

"No it's not," Peridot grumbled. "Everyone else can do it."

"Everyone else has had way more practise than you," Steven pointed out. "I mean, have you even _tried_ to bubble anything before?"

"…No," Peridot admitted.

"So don't worry about it then," he said. "I mean, Amethyst's been doing this sort of stuff for centuries. And Lapis must have used her powers lots before she got trapped in the mirror. But you never needed to before now, did you?"

"No," she mumbled again. "Not really." She tried not to dwell on the thought that she might not even _have_ powers. If Steven, a half-human hybrid, had gem powers, surely there was still hope for her? Then she sat up with a small sigh. "So how long did it take _you_ to master these skills?"

Steven snorted. " _Master_? I'm still learning! I mean, I've been doing gem stuff for more than a year now and I only found out I could float last week! I _still_ don't know what that whole thing was with the Cluster, and the last time I tried shapeshifting, I turned into a baby!"

"You're joking me!" Peridot gasped.

"You were _there!"_ Steven exclaimed.

They stared at each other for a moment, then suddenly, they both started laughing. "An infant!?" Peridot cackled. "You turned yourself into an _infant!?"_

"You should've seen me the first time!" Steven cried, doubling over with mirth. "I was… an adorable… cat… _monster!"_

They laughed harder, clutching onto each other for support. Then Steven accidentally got his foot tangled in a sparkly catsuit and overbalanced, sending them both tumbling to the ground.

xXxXx

Lapis read the back of the book she was holding with increasing confusion. "Is Edmund some kind of gem hybrid too?" she asked eventually. "He doesn't _sound_ like a typical human."

"What?" Amethyst pulled her attention away from the pile of junk she was searching through and looked at Lapis with identical confusion for a moment before her gaze slid down to the book in her hands. " _Oh!_ No, no, it's fiction! Humans make stuff up to entertain themselves. Edmund's a demon, but they're not really real-"

"It's a book of lies?" Lapis interrupted.

Amethyst sighed. "Yeah, it's a book of lies." She took the book from Lapis and turned it over, trying to think of how to explain it better. "I mean, some of it's based in reality, like the places might be real and the things they do might be real, but sometimes it's exaggerated. Like…" She tried to think of an example, but gave up at once. "Eh, never mind. They're just for fun anyway. Just don't believe them."

"Okaaaaaay…" Lapis took the book back and stared at it for a moment longer. "All right, I'll try it. Can I have this one?"

"Sure." Amethyst's attention was already back on her pile of junk. "Here's a couple more you can have too," she said, and plonked 'The Artist's Code', 'Confessions of a Retail Addict' and 'Bridget Smith's Diary' in the other gem's arms.

Lapis cast a swift eye over the titles and stiffened as she read the last one. Peridot had called her book a 'diary' and she hadn't quite known what she meant, but it had sounded like it was some sort of log book. Was she wrong? Was Peridot writing a book of lies too? "What's a diary?" she said, trying to sound casual.

"A diary? Oh, you mean this one?" Amethyst reached over and grabbed the book back. "Well, it's kinda like a book where you write down stuff that's happening to you. Like, humans go through stuff and they write it down. I think it helps them remember."

"So this one isn't a book of lies then?" Lapis pressed.

"No, it is…" Amethyst trailed off with a groan. "Oh man, how do explain this?" She was silent for a moment, then started again. "There's lots of kinds of diaries. This one…" She held the book up. "It's a fictional diary. None of it's real. The people in it aren't real. There's no Bridget Smith-well, there might be, but it won't be _this_ Bridget Smith. She's made up by the author-"

There was a sudden scream and a thud and they both whipped around to look at Steven and Peridot, who were lying in a tangle of arms and legs and assorted garments at the bottom of the clothing pile. "Dorks," Amethyst said with an affectionate snort.

Lapis took a step towards them, and then hesitated, torn between her urge to check on Steven and her desire to know more about diaries. "Are-are they OK?" she asked anxiously.

"They're fine," Amethyst said dismissively. "Peridot falls on her face like, ten times a day anyway. I'm gonna stress-test her gem one day, just pelt her in the face over and over and see how much she can take. You should join me, it'll be fun," she added with a laugh and nudged Lapis with her elbow.

"Yeah," Lapis agreed with a nervous chuckle, unsure if the other gem was actually serious or not. "So, um, you were saying?"

"Right, right, diaries." Amethyst snapped her fingers. "So you got your fake diaries, like this one. Then you've got the semi-fake ones. The people in them are real, and the things that happen in them are real, but they're written by _other_ people who weren't there at all."

"What's the point of that?" Lapis asked.

Amethyst shrugged. "I guess humans use them to teach other humans about stuff that happened in the past. I don't quite get it, but I guess that's 'cause I was alive for a lot of the stuff they write about."

"OK." Lapis nodded slowly. "I think I understand. And then there's real diaries?"

"Yup! Real diaries written about real people and the real things that happened to them," Amethyst confirmed with a nod. "I hear lots of people keep them, but most of them are private, cause they're kind of personal, y'know?"

"So… they're kind of like Peridot's logs?" Lapis checked.

"Her nerd logs? Yeah, I guess so." Amethyst looked over at Steven and Peridot as she spoke, watching them pull various articles of clothing from the heap and throw them into another, smaller pile. "Speaking of which… how are you two getting along now?"

Lapis tensed slightly. "Um, I think we're getting along fine so far," she said cautiously. "It hasn't been very long, but she hasn't been _too_ annoying, I guess."

"Yeah?" Amethyst seemed pleased with her reply. "That's good. Sharing a space with someone can be a pain. I mean, Pearl and I drive each other _nuts_ sometimes!"

"I noticed," Lapis said dryly.

Amethyst laughed. "Hey, that was _nothing._ One time, I saw this TV show where a guy put his coworker's stapler in Jello to annoy him, so I went out and took like, fifty packs of Jello from the grocery store and put all the cleaning supplies in it. It was _amazing!_ She was soooo mad, she didn't speak to me for like, two months!" She laughed at the memory. "Garnet made me eat all the Jello, and it's still the only food I can't stand now, but it was so worth it!" She smiled and wiped a tear of mirth from her eyes. "Ahh, good times. Hey!" she suddenly shouted, and shoved the book back towards Lapis. Lapis was momentarily confused, until she saw Amethyst run towards Steven and Peridot. "Stop bubbling my clothes! I still want that hat!"

Lapis bubbled the books and strolled sedately after the purple gem, who was frantically popping pink bubbles while the two younger gems watched with slightly guilty expressions. "Sorry," Steven was saying. "I got carried away."

"What did you get rid of?" Amethyst demanded, casting a swift eye over her pile. "Where's the pink jeans with the paisley cuffs?"

Peridot raised a hand sheepishly. "The pink… jeans are in the barn. I'll bring them back."

Amethyst nodded. "Yeah, I still want those. And where's the orange sequinned miniskirt?"

"Oh, that's in my room," Steven admitted. "I thought it was cute."

Amethyst's expression softened and she reached out and ruffled his hair. "OK, you can _borrow_ that one for now, but I want it back eventually."

Lapis examined the pile of clothing for a moment, then reached in and pulled out a large pink t-shirt with a yellow star on the front. "Look, Steven, it looks like yours." She held it up against herself and laughed as it fell down to mid-thigh. "It's very big though."

"Ohhhhhh my gosh, it's some of Greg's old band merchandise!" Amethyst exclaimed, grabbing it back. She looked at the shirt in delight for a moment, then tossed it back to Lapis. "Steven's got most of them, but Greg let me have the bigger ones. There should be another couple in here somewhere…" She dove head-first into the stack of clothing, then emerged a few seconds with her hands full of identical garments. "Here! You can have one each, until you get a star," she said eagerly. "It'll be like a Crystal Gem uniform!"

"That won't be necessary," Steven said loftily. "They already _have_ stars now!"

Amethyst blinked in surprise. "Whoa, really? Show me!"

Unable to believe her luck, Lapis fought back a smirk as she held her hand out to show off her bracelet. "See? It has my name on it too."

"Cool…" Amethyst gazed at it for a moment, and then turned to Peridot, who was standing awkwardly to one side with her arms held behind her back. "What about yours, Peri?"

"Um…" Peridot looked at the floor as all eyes turned to her and slowly brought her bare arms into view. "I-I had to… put it in a safe place… so it wouldn't get broken," she lied miserably. "I thought, while I was doing repairs-"

"Hey, it's OK!" Steven butted in, sensing that she was unhappy about the sudden attention. "Appropriate clothing is never a bad idea. That's why Beach-a-Palooza has a strict clothing policy."

Somehow Peridot didn't look any happier, so Steven grabbed one of the shirts from Amethyst and pulled it over the younger gem's head. "Have a shirt!"

"Wow," came the muffled reply from somewhere around the torso area. "Thanks."

xXx

I'm afraid I'm going to just aggressively ignore all those toilets that were in the barn in Beta. Sorry. I'm also going to have to ignore a tiny bit of bubbling stuff from The Kindergarten Kid too. Besides, maybe Steven just assumed bubbles go 'home' because that's where all the ones he's seen have gone? But at least my 'Peridot doesn't know how to bubble' theory seemed to be correct. Of course, after learning she couldn't shapeshift, Steven worked it out at once and did his best to spare her blushes, but to be honest, Lapis and Amethyst probably figured it out in the end.

And now, references! The stapler in jelly prank is from The Office, and I'll give a shiny prize to anyone who can work out the book titles from the mangled versions here. And by prize, I mean a thumbs up.


	10. Mixed Messages

Chapter Ten - Mixed Messages

The barn was full of bubbles. They filled every square inch of the place and had rolled out of the open doors, terrifying the nearby cows. Several had popped after being squished against the branch of holly or the nails embedded in the wooden walls. A television had clearly fallen from some height and lay on the floor in pieces, and just vaguely visible through the translucent blue, purple and pink, they could see that an oven was sat in the middle of the sofa, like some sort of sitcom husband.

Lapis stared at the scene in horror. "How are we supposed to get inside!?"

Peridot examined the sea of bubbles critically, arms folded over her vast t-shirt. "Carefully."

Lapis growled irritably, then stomped forward and poked a purple bubble with a finger. It popped and a stereo fell out. Peridot lunged forward, almost tripped over the hem of her shirt, and managed to catch it before it hit the ground. "Lazuli!" she scolded. "We need to pop these carefully, cataloguing everything as we go! We need to make sure everything arrived safely and report any losses back to Amethyst."

Lapis gritted her teeth. "Fine. Where do you want me to start?"

Peridot thought for a moment. "Logically, the items that were sent last would be near the edges of the barn," she deduced. "That would be the shirts and the books. Lets find those, pop them, and place them to one side, out of the way."

It didn't take them long to track down the relevant bubbles and before long, there stood a small stack of books and a much larger stack of clothes. Next came the window panes, patio doors and glass-topped tables, which were much more carefully popped, and placed well out of harms way.

Hours passed, piles of neatly sorted junk grew. Lapis began to get slightly alarmed when she found six bubbled sofas squashed under the upper level on Peridot's side of the barn. "Do you really need _all_ of these?" she questioned, gently manoeuvring them outside.

"Yes," Peridot said simply, making a mark on her list. "The one pattered with the brown and orange plants is vile, but the framework appears to be sturdy and well made. I intend to replace the stuffing with that in the brown leather, and the fabric with the grey suede. Then I shall use the rest to craft a bed for Steven's sleep chamber. There's no need for alarm," she added, stabbing a bubble with a pen. "I have no desire to keep the remaining materials. Once I'm done, Amethyst will come to bubble the discarded parts and send them back to her room."

Lapis nodded slowly and popped a pink bubble containing an ugly, red sofa. "OK. It's just, Amethyst's room seems to have unlimited space and this place… doesn't." She gestured back to the barn, which now had far fewer bubbles and far more kitchen appliances. "I would like to be able to reach the television at some point."

Peridot chuckled. "I understand your apprehension, but we're making good progress. You should be able to reach the television unimpeded in around…" She glanced up at the moon and made a few quick, mental calculations. "Two hours. Just after sunrise. Right, that's all the sofas. Could you bring out the media systems next?"

Lapis bristled at the other gem's slightly condescending tone, but smiled brightly. Perhaps it was time to pop a hole in Peridot's cheery demeanour instead. "Of course," she said in a honey-sweet voice. "I'll be right back."

When she returned, it was with the blue bubble containing the wailing stone. Peridot glanced at for a moment, looked back at her notes, then did a rather spectacular double take when she suddenly realized what she was looking at. "What's _that_ doing here!?" she said, bewildered.

"I wondered that myself," Lapis said innocently. "When I saw it waiting to be bubbled, I figured you wanted to use it to boost the signal to the TV or something. I mean," she added with a cheery laugh, "obviously you're not going to try and contact Homeworld with it or anything!" Then she suddenly stopped laughing and gave the younger gem a wary glance. "You're _not_ going to try and contact Homeworld with it, are you?"

"What!?" Peridot looked outraged. "Of course not!"

"Oh, good." Lapis smiled again and gazed into the bubble. "I didn't _really_ think you were going to, I just remembered you'd said you stole a diamond communicator-"

"Th-that was totally different!" Peridot protested, beginning to get flustered. "I wanted to ask Yellow Diamond to terminate the Cluster! She didn't take it very well," she admitted, cringing at the memory. "That's why she tried to kill me."

There was a small pause. "But she's not trying to kill you now," Lapis pointed out. "The Rubies were looking for Jasper, not you."

"Yes, but don't you see?" Peridot tried to explain. "She remotely detonated the communicator, she must think I'm already dead."

"But… she didn't bother to check?" Lapis asked, trying not to laugh as the other gem struggled for the right words to defend herself. "Whatever. It doesn't matter. Do you want this or not?"

"No!" Peridot shrieked, stepping on the hem on her shirt and toppling over in her haste to back away from the bubble. "Send it back!"

"I can't." Lapis choked down a giggle. "Remember? Amethyst said we can send things _out,_ but only the Crystal Gems can send things _in_ to the temple, they're the only ones with access."

Peridot began to panic. Unpleasant memories crowded her mind; she was locked in the truck, Steven was glaring at her, Amethyst had shapeshifted into a flying monster and they were all attacking her, furious at her apparent betrayal… "We have to get rid of it! Drop it in the ocean! WAIT!" she screeched as Lapis obediently unfurled her wings. "Don't drop it in the ocean! They'll notice it's gone!"

"I'll just take it back to the temple and explain that I bubbled it by mistake," Lapis said calmly.

"No no no no no, they won't understand," Peridot insisted, holding out her hands to stop Lapis from doing anything rash. "Sometimes… they get mad and-and break things. You can't tell them. Promise you won't tell them!"

"OK, OK, I won't tell them," Lapis said, slightly surprised by the intensity of Peridot's words. She wondered what had happened to make Peridot so wary of admitting a mistake to the Crystal Gems, but dismissed the thought. She'd find out eventually. "What about Steven? He'll understand, won't he?"

Peridot hesitated. Steven had been very angry when he found out about the diamond communicator, but he had also admitted that he'd been wrong about her intentions, which, to be honest, she'd articulated very badly. "You can tell Steven," she said eventually. "Tell him it was an accident, I didn't even know it was there, and we never even unbubbled it."

"I'll tell him," Lapis promised. Then before Peridot could stop her again, she picked up the bubble and shot off into the sky.

xXxXx

Once she was out of sight, she slowed her flight down to a leisurely crawl. She was in no hurry; she still wasn't entirely sure how human sleep cycles worked, but the sky was still dark and she was pretty sure Steven was still asleep.

Plus the more time she took, the more Peridot would worry.

The sun was rising when she landed on the beach in front of the temple. She strode across the sand and pushed the bubble containing the wailing stone out of sight beneath the wooden stairs, and then flew up onto the platform outside the building. She peeped in the window, and when she saw no sign of the Crystal Gems, she quietly pushed the door open and stepped inside.

"Steven?" she whispered. She looked around for some sign of him, hoping he didn't spend his sleep cycles inside the actual temple itself. She took another step inside and listened carefully.

After several seconds, she heard a faint noise coming from the upper level, and flew up to investigate. There she found Steven, curled up in a bed and snoring softly. She watched him for a moment, fascinated by the entire sleep process, and then reached out and gently poked his shoulder. "Steven."

"Nhhh…" He frowned in his sleep and rolled over.

"Steven," she repeated in a slightly louder voice. "Steven, wake up."

"Uuugh… noooo…" He screwed his face up for a moment, then his eyes flickered open. "Uh… Lapis?" He blinked a couple of times. "Am I dreaming again?"

She laughed softly. "No, this is real. Is your sleep done? I need your help."

Steven sat upright at that. "My help? What's wrong?"

"It's not a big deal," Lapis hastily reassured him. "But could you come outside quickly? Alone?"

"Yeah, sure, I guess." He swung his legs over the side of the bed and yawned before following her outside.

Lapis led him down the wooden stairs and underneath, then stood to one side so that he could see the bubbled wailing stone. "I accidentally bubbled it," she explained. "It was by a bunch of those… stereo things? So I thought Peridot wanted it for some reason, but she said she didn't, so I offered to bring it back. I can't just…" She waved her hands for emphasis. "You know? I thought maybe you could send it back to Amethyst's room before she notices it's missing." She deliberately didn't mention that Peridot had been upset. She didn't want Steven rushing off to the barn to comfort her.

"Yeah, I guess I can do that," Steven said, slightly sleepily. He reached out and popped the blue Lapis Lazuli bubble and replaced it with a pink Rose Quartz one.

"Wait!" Lapis quickly shot her hands out and grabbed the bubble before he could send it away. "Is Amethyst in her room now?"

"Um." Steven thought for a moment. "I think so? Unless they all went on a mission in the middle of the night and didn't tell me, but they don't really do that any more."

"Can we get it back without her seeing?" Lapis asked. It didn't really matter to her either way, but Peridot would trust her more if she at least _tried_ to avoid being caught.

"Uh, I dunno." Steven yawned again and rubbed his eyes, trying to shake off the lingering fog of sleepiness. "I guess maybe if we send it to my room first, we can check and see where she is and sneak it back?" He waved his hands before she could reply and the bubble vanished. "Come on."

xXx

Again, ignoring some Kindergarten Kid stuff because my logic was that it would be a huge security risk if any old gem could send stuff into the temple, especially because we saw in Monster Buddies that you can send fully conscious beings that way. Can you imagine the chaos if Jasper decided to bubble all her corrupted army and send them into the temple!? So yeah, I decided that if only the gems marked on the door can open it, only they can send bubbles in there.

You have to admit, my logic was impeccable. Also I wanna see fic where Jasper does that now.

Oh, yeah, and after Message Received, I like to think that Peridot is very wary about having her intentions misinterpreted again. The CG's 'punch first, ask questions later' routine really backfired on everyone in that episode.

And finally, big thumbs up to Not-Kevin Anon, who managed to guess all the book titles. I'm sure there's an emoji for that, but I don't know what it is.


	11. Put That Thing Back Where It Came From

Chapter Eleven - Put That Thing Back Where It Came From

Lapis followed Steven back inside and waited while he activated the door to his room. The two of them stepped inside, and she turned in a slow circle, marvelling at its beauty. "It's really pretty in here. It reminds me of the clouds in the sky," she commented.

"It used to be my mom's room," Steven explained, walking over to the lone bubble bobbing above the clouds. "I can control it, but I have to be specific. Like…" He thought hard. "Room, I want a hammock."

Lapis jumped back in surprise as two spindly trees appeared out of nowhere, a strip of fabric stretched between them. Steven cheered and scrambled into it, then rocked leisurely back and forth for a moment. Then he hopped back out and waved his hands, dismissing the hammock in a puff of pink cloud. "Cool, right?"

"Cool," Lapis agreed. "Does it work for anyone or just you?"

"Just me," Steven said proudly. "OK now, room, we want to get to Amethyst's room. The _real_ room. I have to make sure I say _exactly_ what I want," he explained to Lapis as the clouds parted to reveal one of the crystal veins. "Or things get… weird. Now, if I remember correctly," he said, walking around the vein and looking up, "the Crystal Heart should be directly above us. There's a door there that leads into Amethyst's room."

Lapis joined him and looked up. There didn't seem to be anything but pink fluffy clouds as far as the eye could see, but if Steven said that was the way to Amethyst's room, she believed him. "Well, hop on," she said, kneeling down so he could climb on her back. As soon as Steven was settled, she unfolded her wings, picked up the bubble and followed the vein up through the clouds.

Sure enough, they flew through the clouds and suddenly emerged in a crimson chamber. Lapis landed, allowing Steven to slide off her back, and gaped at the enormous crystal heart that beat above them, casting a soft red glow over the room. "That's amazing!"

"Shh!" Steven pressed a warning finger to his lips. "Pearl's room's through there," he whispered softly, pointing to a doorway where Lapis could see soft, flickering light. It reminded her a little of sunlight on the ocean. "Amethyst's room is this way," he added, leading her to another doorway.

They peeped inside at the familiar piles of junk. "I don't see her," Lapis whispered. "Should I fly up for a better look?"

"OK," Steven whispered back. "Leave the bubble with me."

She flew up as high as possible, and flew slowly around the room, aware that quick movements were more likely to be noticed. There didn't seem to be any sign of Amethyst, so she allowed herself a little more speed as she flew back to Steven. "I don't see her," she reported as soon as she landed.

"Huh." Steven peered into the room again, as if expecting Amethyst to suddenly appear. "Maybe she's in Pearl's room or something. OK, let's put this thing back where it came from, or so help me!" he sang. Lapis gave his pop culture reference a blank look and he sighed. "There are so many movies I need you to watch."

Lapis smiled and knelt down so he could climb on her back again. "Maybe we could do that after we put the wailing stone back?" she suggested.

"Oh, I need to make a list first," Steven warned, holding on tight as she picked up the bubble and took off again. "There's just far too much media to jump in with no plan."

"We could maybe fly somewhere then?" She could see the giant battle axe up ahead, but flew past it so she could prolong their time together. "I mean, I know you must have been so many places with the gems, but is there somewhere else on Earth you'd like to visit?"

"Hmm…" Steven thought for a moment. "I'd like to visit Britain. British people always seem so nice and polite on TV and I always wanted to try a scone. There's no warp pad there, so I've never been. But it rains a lot, so maybe not."

"Another time maybe," Lapis agreed. "Anywhere else?"

Steven suddenly gasped and sat up straight and Lapis almost let go of the wailing stone, ready to catch him if she needed to. "Australia! I wanna go to Australia!" he exclaimed.

"Australia?" The word was vaguely familiar to Lapis; she was fairly sure she'd heard it on one of the documentary shows. "We can go to Australia." She circled back towards the battle axe and glided down to the ground. "I think it came from here."

Steven slid off her back, popped the bubble and pushed the wailing stone against the axe's giant handle. "Here?"

"Yeah, that looks about right. So why Australia?" she asked, getting back to the subject as they started walking back to the temple door. "Is there something special there you wanna see?"

"Not really," Steven admitted. "I don't know a lot about Australia. I mean, I guess I'd like to see the Sydney Opera House and the Great Barrier-maybe not," he quickly corrected himself. "I guess it's because me and Peridot were just talking about it the other day, so it's on my mind."

Lapis stiffened, the mention of Peridot taking her by surprise. "Y-you were?" she stammered, trying to act casual.

"Yeah, we had a little competition going," Steven said cheerfully, side-stepping a broken dresser. "To see who could find a poisonous insect that wasn't from Australia. We both lost."

"Oh. Are poisonous insects a big problem there then?" Lapis asked, trying to get the subject back away from Peridot. "We could go somewhere else." Preferably somewhere that didn't trigger any mention of the little green brat, she added internally.

Steven laughed and shook his head. "The internet says all the wildlife in Australia is Mother Nature's attempt to fight back, but I think they're exaggerating a bit. I'll pack bugspray anyway though."

They reached the door and stepped back out into the beach house. Lapis sat on a stool and watched as Steven made straight for his cheeseburger backpack and began stuffing it with bottles of water and snacks. "I kinda wanna try Australian food," he explained, pulling a handful of granola bars from a shelf. "But I think they use different money, and I don't have any-"

The temple door suddenly shone with light and Garnet stepped out. "Good morning, Steven. Hello, Lapis."

"Garnet!" Steven jumped up and ran over to hug her legs. "Lapis and I are going to Australia!"

"I know," Garnet said simply. "I came to say goodbye and to have fun." She paused. "Goodbye, and have fun."

Steven laughed. "Is there anything else I should know?"

"Hmm." Garnet adjusted her visor slightly. "Don't eat Vegemite. Lapis," she said suddenly, turning to look at the other gem.

"Yes?" Lapis asked guardedly. Garnet's future vision made her apprehensive and she wondered if the other gem suspected what they'd been doing in the temple. Although she knew it wasn't true, sometimes it felt like the fusion could read her mind. And she knew Sapphire's visions weren't perfect - she had, after all, been there in Blue Diamond's court when the other gem's vision of the end of the rebellion had failed to materialise - and her visions were even more uncertain now she was fused with the unpredictable Ruby. Still, she couldn't help but be on edge around the fusion. Did Garnet know what she had planned for Peridot? Even now, when all she had was vague ideas and a few petty actions?

But all Garnet did was nod to the warp pad. "Australia's a long way to fly. There's a warp pad in China that will get you closer."

xXx

How do you decide what TV to show an alien? There's SO MUCH good stuff - and yet, so much inappropriate stuff. Like, Disney seems harmless enough until you remember Snow White has the magic mirror on the wall. Beauty and the Beast's probably out too. And Aladdin. Hmm. Yep, Steven def. has the right idea to make a list first.


	12. DIY SOS

Chapter Twelve - DIY SOS

Back at the barn, Peridot was beginning to quietly panic. When the sun had risen and Lapis had failed to return, she'd popped bubbles and told herself that the other gem was just waiting for Steven to awaken. When she'd finished unbubbling and sorting all the things from Amethyst's room, she told herself that maybe it had just taken a long time to get the wailing stone back. Perhaps the other Crystal Gems had been around and Lapis and Steven were just waiting for the right moment. She distracted herself for a few more hours by rewiring the barn in preparation for all the new electrical appliances she was going to install, and then started rebuilding a radio (/vinyl/tape/CD/MP3 player) to test that everything had been connected properly and that the barn wouldn't burst into flames when Lapis eventually returned and switched on the TV…

The screwdriver she was holding slipped and she looked down to see that she'd stripped the head of the screw she was trying to remove from an old jukebox. She groaned and pushed everything aside for a moment. She'd need a handheld drill to get it out now and she wasn't entirely sure where it was and she didn't want to go and look for it right now anyway.

She couldn't concentrate. She began to pace around the carefully organised piles of miscellaneous stuff, double-checking everything was where it should be, anything to take her mind off the fact that the sun had passed overhead several hours ago and Lapis _still_ wasn't back.

What she needed, she decided, was a communicator like Steven's. She hadn't really had a good look at it - she'd managed to get hold of it once before, back when she'd first been captured, but she'd discarded it as soon as she'd realised it was utterly incapable of contacting Homeworld - but it looked like a fairly simple device. She should be quite capable of making her own, given enough toasters.

Problem was, that didn't help her right now. Peridot stopped pacing, flopped onto her pile of shirts and sighed. The most likely scenario was that Lapis was completely fine, the wailing stone was back where it belonged, and the other gem was simply taking the opportunity to hang out with Steven.

Of course, that didn't completely eliminate the possibility that Lapis had been caught and everyone assumed _she_ had stolen the wailing stone to contact Homeworld and now the whole temple was in uproar as they tried to figure out what to do with her. After all, Lapis had never wanted to come back to Earth in the first place.

A little knot of guilt solidified in her belly at the thought. She'd messed up. She should've just taken the wailing stone straight back herself and confessed that she'd taken it by mistake. Yes, they'd been mad about the diamond communicator, but that was a totally different situation and Garnet _probably_ wouldn't punch her in the face-

Lapis's face suddenly appeared in front of her, upside down, and she shot backwards deeper into the mound of clothing with a scream. "Lazuli!"

Lapis laughed and spun around in mid-air, landing lightly in front of the other gem. "Made you jump."

"Yes, _obviously,_ " Peridot snapped, struggling to free herself from the mass of clothing she'd become entangled in. "What was the reason for the delay? Did you manage to return the wailing stone?"

"I did, and you're welcome, by the way," Lapis said pointedly. "Steven and I managed to sneak it back into Amethyst's room without being seen. But then Garnet showed up before I could leave, so I had to pretend I was there to spend the day with Steven so she wouldn't get suspicious. So we went to Australia."

Peridot could easily think of half a dozen excuses Lapis could've given that didn't require her to journey to the other side of the Earth, but she decided not to argue about it. The important thing was that the wailing stone had been returned, undetected, and now she could relax and get back to work, free from the fear that she'd done something to make her friends angry again. "Thank you," she said sincerely.

"What are friends for?" Lapis commented, a charming smile on her face. "So, what did you do while I was gone?"

"I finished unbubbling everything and rewired the barn," the other gem said, gesturing around the building. "I had to enter your side to install some cabling and fixtures, I hope you don't mind."

"Actually…" Lapis trailed off and frowned. "I kind of do mind. Next time you want to do something there, could you wait until I'm around?"

"Of course!" Peridot exclaimed hurriedly. "I just thought-"

"I mean, people have been intruding on my personal space for so long," Lapis interrupted, narrowing her eyes at the smaller gem. "Quite literally, in fact. I haven't had any real privacy for _centuries_ now."

Peridot cringed. She wanted to explain that just rewiring half of the barn would've been a fire risk, that Lapis now had an additional twelve plug sockets for any other electronics she might enjoy and that she'd also installed new lights so that she could read her books at night more comfortably, but Lapis did have a point. "I understand," she said instead. "I just wanted to help, but you're right, I shouldn't have intruded into your space. It won't happen again."

Lapis almost strained something trying not to roll her eyes at Peridot's grovelling. "Well, I'm here now, so if you have everything under control, I'll let you get on with your renovations. I'm going to read a book."

"Oh, actually, I was thinking you might like to help," Peridot said eagerly.

"Me!?" Lapis laughed for a moment, then realised Peridot actually meant it. "Oh, you're serious?"

"…Yes?" Peridot gestured around the barn again. "After all, it's your home too. It'll be fun!" she added brightly.

"But I don't know what any of this stuff is," Lapis protested, pointing at a stack of grubby computer keyboards. "I wouldn't know where to start."

"I'll help! We'll do it together!" Peridot grinned widely, imaging the two of them working hard together to make the barn a warm and welcoming home. "I'll explain what needs to be done, and you can assist me. I'm sure you'll pick it up in no time."

 _Assist Peridot!_ She'd walk back into the depths of the ocean before she, Lapis Lazuli, ever again took orders from a tiny technician who couldn't even form a bubble. She wanted to slap Peridot for daring to suggest such a thing!

Then again… "I guess there's no harm in trying," she said, forcing a smile onto her face. "What do you need me to do?"

Peridot thought for a moment. "I don't suppose you know what a handheld drill looks like, do you? I need it to take a screw out so I can take the back panel off of that primitive optical media player." She indicated the jukebox a short distance away.

Lapis shook her head. "I don't know what that is. But I can still help with that panel," she said with exaggerated cheeriness, and before Peridot could react, she strode over to the jukebox and ripped the panel off with her bare hands.

Peridot winced at the screech of tearing metal and ran over to assess the damage. The panel was horribly bent and torn in several places, metal fragments clinging to the screws left behind, while in other places, screws had been forcibly ripped out, damaging their fixings. "I… kind of wanted that all in one piece."

"Oops."

"It's OK, I can fix it," Peridot said hurriedly. She looked around the barn again and finally spotted the drill sticking out of a box. "Here." She handed Lapis the screwdriver she'd been using. "Use it to take the rest of the screws out."

Lapis did as she was told, making sure she used excessive force to strip another couple of screw heads and occasionally letting the screwdriver slip and gouge holes in the surrounding casing. After she dropped the screwdriver into the actual jukebox mechanism and tore a few important looking cables trying to get it out, Peridot gave up and asked her to hammer the dings out of the back panel instead. Lapis immediately hit it as hard as she could, and tore a hole in it. "Oops," she said again.

For a split second, Peridot wondered if Lapis was deliberately being clumsy, then she mentally chided herself for thinking the worst of the other gem. "Perhaps, for the present, we should leave the delicate work to me," she suggested instead. "Your skills clearly lie in some other direction."

Although it was exactly the result Lapis had been aiming for, she couldn't help feeling insulted. "Are you saying you don't think I'm capable of dismantling these human things?"

"No, not at all!" Peridot hastily backpedalled, unconsciously reaching up to touch her cheek. She'd made the mistake of dismissing another gem's skills once before, she didn't want to do it again. "It's just, you said so yourself, you're extremely unfamiliar with all of these devices and how they function, so it's not that surprising that you would underestimate their stability. But I really do need the components intact if I'm to repair these devices, so it would be a more efficient use of our combined skills if I were to continue with this," she explained rapidly, pointing to the sorry-looking remains of the jukebox. "And you… did the heavy lifting," she finished with a nervous smile.

Lapis stared at her for a moment, then shrugged. "All right. Do you need me to do any heavy lifting now?" she asked in a slightly mocking tone.

"Um." Peridot thought for a moment. "Not right now, no."

"In that case then…" Lapis unfurled her wings and flew up to the platform on her side of the barn. "I'm going to read my book."

xXx

I don't actually have much to add to this chapter, so, uh, enjoy!


	13. Construction Frustration

Chapter Thirteen - Construction Frustration

Despite the noise from Peridot's tools, Lapis still found herself completely absorbed in the details of Bridget Smith's car crash life. There was a lot she didn't understand, including at least twelve weird Earth things on the very first page, but she was able to gloss over those bits and just enjoy the story.

That is, up until Peridot plugged in her new machine and the room suddenly filled with blaring bouncy pop music. "It works!" Peridot cheered. "Praise me!"

"Can you turn that down a bit!?" Lapis yelled.

"What?"

"TURN IT DOWN!"

Peridot pouted at the other gem's obvious lack of enthusiasm for her success, but she did as she was told. "I'll need to carry out some tests to make sure the rest of the functions are operating properly," she warned. "But I'll keep the volume down so that your reading is undisturbed."

Lapis grumbled under her breath and tried to turn her attention back to the book, but her concentration had been broken and the quiet scratchy warbling from the vinyl record Peridot was fiddling with wasn't helping. "Can you make it any quieter?" she snapped.

"Only if I turn it off," Peridot quipped.

Lapis stared at her for a moment. "So… can you make it any quieter? It's very distracting."

To Lapis's surprise, instead of immediately complying with her request as she'd done so on previous occasions, Peridot began to argue with her. "It's on the lowest possible volume setting, it can hardly be _that_ distracting. Besides, I haven't tested the functionality of the tape deck or the CD player."

"Can't you do that when I'm _not_ reading?" Lapis asked frostily.

Peridot opened her mouth to argue some more, but the subtle edge of hostility in Lapis's tone of voice made her pause. She didn't want Lapis to be angry with her, not when they'd been getting along so well. "Very well, I'll pursue a quiet activity for the time being," she muttered, and lifted the needle, a slightly mutinous expression on her face. Then she reached into her gem, retrieved her diary and began to write, unaware that Lapis was no longer reading her book, but watching her from the edge of her vision.

After a few minutes of relative silence, Lapis spoke. "I have an idea."

Peridot's glittery orange pen paused, mid-word, and she glanced up at the other gem. "What sort of idea?"

"Your plans include some sort of room for Steven, right?" Lapis nodded at the torn strip of wallpaper Peridot had pinned to the wall. "I noticed it's cut off from the rest of the barn."

"You mean the sleep chamber?" Peridot put her pen down and looked at the plan as well.

"That's to stop him being disturbed during the sleep process, right?"

"Yes…" Peridot said slowly, beginning to understand what Lapis was suggesting. "Are you saying you want a similar room for yourself?"

"Yes." The blue gem flew down to ground level and stood next to her. "If we put a wall along the upper level…" She waved up at the platform she'd just flown down from. "Then you'd be able to work without disturbing me. _And_ it would give me some _real_ privacy," she added with a pointed glance down at the other gem.

Peridot frowned slightly. "The entire upper level? Isn't that a little excessive?"

"No?" Lapis shrugged. "The Crystal Gems all have their own rooms, don't they?"

It was a valid point, but Peridot was still reluctant. Sharing a space with Lapis was turning out to be more difficult than she'd anticipated, but she was company, and Peridot didn't like the thought of Lapis disappearing behind a wall for hours on end and leaving her alone. But then again, it wasn't unreasonable of her to ask for her own, private space. "Very well, I'll add it to the plans," she said eventually. "When do you want to begin the work?"

"Now," Lapis said at once.

xXxXx

In reality, it was another half an hour before they could actually begin construction as Peridot explained the necessity of measuring the dimensions first and seeking out the right materials. She grabbed a tape measure and began jotting down numbers on yet another torn-off strip off wallpaper while Lapis gathered up planks of wood.

Then, when Peridot's back was turned, she quietly altered a couple of the numbers.

"I think the best course of action would be for you to hold the wood in place while I fix them in place," Peridot said a short time later, examining the platform with a critical eye. "I'll just find the nails. Could you pass me the hammer please?"

"Of course," Lapis said blandly. She crossed the barn, ignored the hammer and picked up a screwdriver instead. "Here."

Peridot looked down at the tool in Lapis's hand for a moment and frowned. "That's a screwdriver."

"I know. That's what you asked for."

Peridot shook her head. "No, I asked for a hammer. The tool you used to bash holes in the metal panel."

"You _asked_ for a screwdriver," Lapis insisted. "But never mind, I'll fetch the hammer."

"I _didn't_ ask for a screwdriver," Peridot protested, annoyed. "I have no use for a screwdriver at this present moment, why would I ask for one?"

"I don't know!" Lapis exclaimed with an exaggerated shrug. "You're the technician, not me. It doesn't matter," she added as Peridot opened her mouth to argue some more. "Here's the hammer. What next?"

Peridot frowned at the hammer for a moment before finally reaching out to take it. "I need you to hold _that_ piece of wood in place."

She nodded at a nearby plank that had already been cut to size and Lapis obediently flew up and held it still while Peridot leaned precariously over the edge of the platform to nail it in place. They continued in this manner for some time until Lapis picked up a plank, held it up and discovered it was three inches too short. "Is it supposed to look like that?" she asked innocently.

"No. It must be the wrong piece," Peridot said after a quick appraisal.

Lapis turned, pretending she was looking at the remaining stack of wood but in reality, she was trying to hide the smile twitching at the corner of her mouth. "Which is the right one?"

Peridot leaned over the edge of the platform, ready to point out the correct piece of wood, and then frowned. "I don't… um… perhaps that piece there?" she said hesitantly, then immediately shook her head, bewildered. "No, that's incorrect. I… I don't understand."

"Maybe you measured it wrong," Lapis suggested. She flew down, dropped the plank and slowly looked at the numbers on the paper, pretending she didn't know exactly where the problem was. "Look, you've written a six here," she said after a few seconds. "Perhaps you had the paper upside down and it's supposed to be a nine?"

Peridot climbed down the ladder and examined the paper as well. "Yes…" she said slowly. "That seems like the most likely scenario; it _is_ supposed to be a nine."

"Well… should I get more wood?" Lapis asked. "Or can you fix it?"

"No, I can fix it," Peridot said, some of her confidence coming back. "It's a simple enough matter to correct."

She grabbed a saw and an off cut and set to work repairing the damage. Soon the two of them were back at work, only for the same thing to happen five boards later. If gems could bleed, Lapis would've drawn blood as she bit her lip, trying her best not to laugh at Peridot's confusion. "I don't understand how this happened!" the little gem was complaining. "I measure twice precisely to _avoid_ these sort of mishaps!"

"It's not a big deal," Lapis said soothingly, secretly delighted that Peridot was making such a big deal out of it. "Just fix it and we'll carry on."

"I need to measure the rest first," Peridot said, suddenly paranoid that she'd written everything else down incorrectly. She grabbed the tape measure, measured the remaining boards, and then jotted down the numbers. Then she wrote 'TOP' at the top of the paper, just to be sure, before climbing up to the platform to measure the remaining space. Once she was reassured her remaining measurements were correct, work resumed until finally, the upper level of the barn was sectioned off, accessible only by the ladder (which now sported a brand-new trapdoor at the top) and the window.

"Thanks, Peridot," Lapis said, as warmly as she could. "It looks great. I'll see you later!" And with that, she disappeared up the ladder and into her room, closing the trapdoor behind her.

Alone at last.

But not for long.

She turned in a slow circle, taking everything in. The bookcases containing her meagre collection of books. The television, sat unceremoniously in the middle of the floor (she'd have to ask Peridot to make her some sort of surface to put it on). The window seat.

Lapis walked towards the latter and examined it carefully. There were cushions on the wooden seat, which she removed and placed to one side so that she could get a better look at the wooden box beneath. The top was nailed down tightly, and she already knew Peridot had the hammer, so she leaned out of the window and held out a hand in the direction of the lake.

A small globule of water morphed into the shape of a hammer and floated into her grasp, and she spent the next few minutes carefully and quietly levering out nails until she could lift up the wooden seat. She placed it next to the cushions and peered into the hollow space. She couldn't see any splinters of wood or rogue nails sticking out anywhere; it was a perfect hiding place for what she had in mind.

She silently put the seat back together and read the rest of the book until the sun came up. Then she placed the book on a bookcase, flew out of the window and landed in front of the barn doors. Inside, Peridot was methodically taking apart a refrigerator, while the radio played quietly in the background. She was still wearing the oversized Steven shirt, Lapis noted with mild annoyance. "Hey," she called. "I just wanted to let you know, I'm going over to the temple to see Steven."

"Wait a moment, I'll come with you," Peridot said eagerly, dropping the screwdriver and jumping to her feet.

"Oh… I was going to fly there," Lapis said, taking a step back. "Alone. Anyway, I won't be long, I just want to see how he is because he wasn't feeling very well yesterday. Why don't you just carry on with what you're doing?"

"Well, I-" Peridot began.

"I mean, it's for Steven, right?" Lapis interrupted. "The sooner you finish this, what, kitchen thing, the sooner he can come and stay, right?"

"Yes, but-" Peridot tried again.

"I'll tell him you said hello," Lapis interrupted once more, and turned to leave.

"Wait!" Peridot said desperately.

Lapis ground her teeth in irritation. Couldn't Peridot take the hint? "What is it?" she asked, trying not to sound as annoyed as she felt.

"Could you give this to Amethyst while you're there?" Peridot asked, holding up something pink and paisley, presumably the jeans that had been sent to the barn by accident.

"Sure, no problem, roomie," Lapis said, taking them from her. "I'll see you later."

She took off before Peridot could say anything else, heading off towards the coast and Beach City. As soon as she was out of sight, she paused for a moment, hovering in mid-air, and bubbled the garment. With a swift hand movement, she sent it back to her own room, idly wondering how long it would be before Amethyst started asking questions.

Her flight resumed, but she didn't head directly to the temple. Instead, her path took her over the ocean, towards Mask Island. As soon as the landmass appeared on the horizon, she slowed down her flight and allowed herself to drop into the ocean, continuing her approach from beneath the waves.

The earthquakes caused by the Cluster had dramatically altered the topography of the ocean floor, and Lapis was careful to watch her step. The ground was still treacherous and unstable, and sunlight didn't penetrate far into the newly-formed cave, but she knew where she was going. She'd already been here once before, shortly after she'd first left the barn and realised she couldn't go home.

The end of the cave was shrouded in darkness, but Lapis could just about make out a faint gleam. She reached out, picked up the bubbled gem, and smiled down at it for a moment.

"Hello, Jasper. Want to see my new home?"

xXx

WELL GOSH.

So, um, I drew art of that final scene, but I can't add it here unless I make it like, the actually book cover, which if you ask me, is a huuuuuuge flaw. Instead, you'll just have to find it on my Deviantart, which is in my profile. I'd post the link here too, but the site keeps EATING IT GRR.


	14. Take A Chance On Me

Chapter Fourteen - Take A Chance On Me

"Good morning, beach summer fun buddy!" Lapis said in a sing-song voice, pushing open the door to the beach house and walking inside.

"Hey Lapis," Steven greeted, half-turning away from the stove to wave at her. Spotting her chance, Amethyst inched closer and reached out towards the pan, only for Steven to whip back and swat at her hand with a spatula. "No! You have eighteen bars of soap!"

"Eight now," Amethyst corrected. "I'll trade ya one," she added hopefully.

"For goodness sake, Amethyst, let Steven eat his breakfast in peace," Pearl groaned. "So what brings you to the temple today, Lapis? Is Peridot back at the barn?"

"She's building a kitchen. I wanted to see how Steven was doing," the blue gem said mildly. She turned to the boy. "Did you get rid of the taste of Vegemite in the end?"

Steven shuddered dramatically. "I still taste it when I burp," he complained.

"I did warn you," Garnet pointed out.

"I thought it was chocolate spread." Steven grimaced. "It was _not_ chocolate spread."

"Well, do you feel up to giving me a tour of Beach City?" Lapis suggested. "I saw some of it last time I was here, but my view was a little… impaired."

The Crystal Gems wisely ignored that comment.

"I don't know if I can," Steven admitted, sliding pancakes onto a plate. "The Gems are gonna search for Jasper today, they might need me."

"Nah, bro, it's cool," Amethyst said dismissively. "We're going underwater first, that's not a very Steven-friendly location."

"And the seismic activity around Mask Island has made the terrain extremely unstable," Garnet interjected. "So we'd prefer you to stay here, where it's safe."

"Y-you're looking for Jasper?" Lapis queried, careful to keep her voice steady.

"Yes," Garnet said flatly.

"We should've done it sooner, really," Pearl added. "But there were the Rubies to deal with and that gem monster in the desert…"

"Plus it's a pain getting out there now the warp pad's busted," Amethyst interjected. "So we've been kinda putting it off."

"What are you going to do with her when you find her?" Lapis asked.

There was a brief moment of silence.

"We're not sure yet," Pearl admitted. "There are… differing opinions."

"Yeah, Steve-o here thinks she can be _rehabilitated,_ " Amethyst added, drawing out the last word mockingly.

Steven scowled with some difficulty, thanks to the fact that his mouth was full of food. "Peridot turned good," he said, spraying crumbs across the breakfast bar.

Pearl grimaced and moved away slightly. "Peridot is different."

Lapis couldn't help wrinkling her nose in scorn at that comment. "Why? I mean, they're both from Homeworld" she amended, as everyone turned to look at her. "They were on the same mission, they had the same goal. If you don't think Jasper can change…" She hesitated for a moment, reworking the sentence in her head. "Why give Peridot the chance?" she finished.

"Peridot is a young gem," Garnet replied. "Younger than any of us - well, except for Steven. Maybe. It wouldn't surprise me if this had been her very first offworld mission. Her mind is open to new ideas and ways of thinking. But Jasper is an old soldier, set in her ways. She fought for Homeworld in the Rebellion, meaning she has a vested interest in finishing that fight and bringing about the destruction of the Earth, especially now that her mission so far has failed. Changing her mind would be an immense task."

"Plus Jasper's like, six times bigger and a hundred times stronger than Peridot," Amethyst butted in. "We'd need a much bigger harness."

Before Lapis could ask what _that_ meant, Garnet spoke again. "I have faith in you, Steven. I know you want to help her, and one day, when your powers are stronger, I know you'll manage it. But now is not the time. Right now, our priority is to find her and bubble her. After that, we can discuss things further."

"OK," Steven relented.

There was now no warp pad closer than the one in the temple itself, so the Crystal Gems all made for the door. "Sure you don't want in on this, Laz'li?" Amethyst teased.

Lapis didn't bother responding to that with anything other than a fart noise, much to the purple gem's amusement. As soon as they'd left, she sat next to Steven and watched him eat with mild curiosity. "So… do you really think you can just… talk to Jasper?" she asked quietly.

"I think we should _try_ ," Steven clarified. "She's not like the corrupted gems, I just don't feel right keeping her in a bubble forever."

Lapis frowned. "Even after what she did to me?"

"You mean… Malachite?" he asked. Lapis nodded and he shifted uncomfortably on his stool. "Well… I know it must have been horrible, but…"

"But?" Lapis prompted, despite the sinking feeling in her chest.

"But it wasn't _all_ Jasper's fault," Steven finally blurted out. "You didn't have to fuse with her, you could've said no-"

"You really think she would've _let_ me?" Lapis said frostily. She slid off the stool and began to pace back and forth. She was forever grateful to Steven for releasing her from the mirror, but his desire to play peacemaker was beginning to get on her nerves. Did he want her to share the barn with Jasper too?!

"We were right by the ocean," Steven said softly. "You could've used it against her, you _did_ use it against her. We would've helped you-"

"I didn't want your help!" Lapis snapped. "You already saved me once; it was my turn to save you!"

"And I'm grateful for that, but I didn't want you to hurt yourself doing it!" Steven cried, tears gathering at the corners of his eyes. "I don't want _anybody_ to get hurt trying to protect me!"

Lapis stopped pacing and ran to hug him. "Oh Steven, I'm sorry," she whispered. "I didn't mean to make you sad."

Steven sniffled and wiped his eyes. "Just please, promise me you won't do anything like that ever again."

"I promise," Lapis said immediately.

"And _I_ promise I won't talk to Jasper until we've all properly discussed it," Steven promised with a watery smile. "Is that OK?"

"That's OK," Lapis agreed, silently thanking her lucky stars that she'd already moved the bubble containing Jasper's gem. She'd be able to put off that discussion indefinitely. "So how about that trip to Beach City?" she asked, changing the subject.

Steven let out a hiccupy laugh. "Yeah, that'd be nice."

xXx

Yeah, this was written just around the time Alone At Sea aired, so we have the confirmation that Lapis could've easily defeated Jasper without fusing with her, but did it anyway for revenge. But I was NOT expecting Jasper to then gather up an army of corrupted gems before becoming one of them herself, and I'm going to try and avoid that fate for her here!

Also, as you can probably guess from the "I just don't feel right keeping her in a bubble forever" line, this was pre-Bismuth too. We know the CG's (and Rose) don't seem to have a problem with it (probably because it really is the best option they have for enemies who they can't just let go because they might try to kill them, might attract Homeworld's attention, and who never die), but I like to think Steven at least would find it a bit extreme to keep uncorrupted gems as unknowing prisoners for millennia. So here's hoping they'll let Bismuth out again at some point in the future!


	15. Laundry Service

Chapter Fifteen - Laundry Service

Peridot had come to the conclusion that she really didn't like being alone. It had been nice to start with, the day the rest of the Crystal Gems had gone back to the temple after Malachite and the Cluster had been dealt with. She'd been a prisoner/member of the Crystal Gems for several Earth months by then, and although they'd eventually trusted her enough to leave her by herself for brief periods of time, there was always still somebody _there,_ prowling around the barn somewhere. It was almost a relief when they all left.

But now… the novelty had worn off, and Peridot missed her friends. She'd repaired an oven, a fridge, a toaster, a microwave and a chest of drawers and there was nobody around to share the achievement with her. No Pearl to share her knowledge of Earth tech. No Amethyst laughing and joking. No Garnet lurking silently in the background, observing everything. No Steven doing his best to welcome her into his strange and scary world.

And now, not even Lapis demanding silence as she read for hours.

She'd tried to fill the void with the radio, but it wasn't entirely successful. Sure, it got rid of the silence, but it did nothing to combat the loneliness. Also, if they played "Phone Me Perhaps" one more time, she'd scream.

She surveyed the piles of carefully stacked stuff with little enthusiasm. She knew she really ought to be deciding what task to work on next, but she simply didn't want to. She folded her arms across her shirt and sighed. What she _really_ wanted was to go to the temple, but she didn't have any reason to…

Then she glanced down at the shirt and hmm'd thoughtfully. Human appearance modifiers didn't appear to repel substances like her light-projected body did, and now it was covered in miscellaneous stains. She knew, in theory, that the washing machine device was supposed to clean shirts, but she'd never actually observed it in action. What if she fixed one and got it wrong and it exploded and destroyed the barn? It had happened in season twelve, after all, and three campers had been hospitalised. Clearly that couldn't be allowed to happen, she simply _had_ to go to the temple now, to find out if that was a television lie, and to ask for a demonstration of the washing machine in person.

Filled with a sudden sense of purpose, Peridot yanked the grubby shirt off and shot off towards the warp pad. A few seconds later, she arrived in the middle of the temple. "Hello!" she called out happily. "It is I, the great and loveable Peridot, come to visit!"

Absolutely nothing happened.

Undeterred, Peridot stepped off of the warp pad and climbed the steps to Steven's bedroom. "Steven? Are you here?"

There was no answer, but she poked the bed, just to make sure. Then she climbed back down the steps and knocked on the bathroom door. It swung open and she peeked carefully inside. "Hello?"

No response.

She sighed, closed the door again and crossed the room to the temple gate. "Hello?" she called out again, knocking on the door. "Amethyst? Garnet? Pearl? Are you in there?"

After a few more moments, she reluctantly concluded that nobody was home. They'd probably been called away on a mission and didn't have time to fetch her. Or maybe they hadn't even bothered-

She shook her head before that thought could finish forming and headed purposefully towards the front door. Lapis had probably told them that she was building a kitchen, if they'd been called away on a mission and hadn't told her, it was because they didn't want to interrupt her work. And if nobody was here, she'd just go and look at the washing machine by herself and wait for somebody to return.

She opened the door, and immediately found herself nose-to-navel with an unfamiliar human man, his arm outstretched ready to knock. "Oh, hello," he said, adjusting a pair of sunglasses as he looked down at her. "Is Steven at home?"

"No," Peridot replied, tilting her head back to return the look.

"Oh dear." He reached into a messenger bag and pulled out a package. "I have a package for him that needs to be signed for. Are any of the other Crystal Gems around, perhaps?"

Peridot stood up a little straighter and smiled proudly. "The rest of the team are absent at the present moment, but _I'm_ a Crystal Gem. I can sign."

"Oh." He narrowed their eyes at her. "And you are…?"

The smile slipped slightly. "Alone," she said with a small sigh.

"I meant, what's your name?" he clarified with a laugh.

"Peridot. Facet-2F5L Cut-5XG," she added, just in case her full identification was needed for the signing.

"Nice to meet you, Peridot. My name's Jamie." He held out an electronic pad and tapped it with a stylus. "If you could just jot your name here…" He watched her scribble her name down and then suddenly snapped his fingers. "Peridot! I _knew_ I recognized the name!"

"Did you receive a message on your communicator too?" Peridot asked, holding a hand out ready to receive the parcel. "Because I'd like to clarify that I had help with that mission."

"No, no," Jamie said, handing the parcel over and then waving his hand in dismissal. "I mean, yes, I did, but that's not it. You were on television, right?"

Peridot nodded and smiled widely. "Yes, and thank you for your concern, I am fine now."

"You took over the entire network." He shook his head, awed. "How did you manage it? I'd give _anything_ for that kind of exposure!" He clenched a fist dramatically. "I mean, not really," he hastened to add. "I might get into trouble with the authorities and I'm already on a warning for throwing the mail into the sea, but _still._ "

"You wish to take over the television airwaves?" Peridot asked, confused. "Do you need to send a message to somebody?"

"Yes!" Jamie half-clenched his fist again, then thought better of it. Two dramatic fist clenches in a row might be overkill. "To all those casting directors in Kansas who said I'd never make it in television. Sometimes they didn't even let me finish the dramatic reading I'd prepared. Sometimes they didn't even let me _begin_ it!" Fully in the drama-zone now, he forgot himself and clenched a fist dramatically again. "If I were able to perform the balcony scene from _Romeo and Rosaline_ without interruption, they'd surely see my untapped potential!"

"What's a casting director?" Peridot asked as soon as he paused to breath.

"A casting director, in theory, is somebody who's _supposed_ to choose the best actor for the job," he said, a little bitterly. "Of course, they are only human, we can't blame them for occasionally choosing _marginally_ more photogenic people to appear on television instead."

"Actor?" Peridot repeated. She was familiar with that word; Steven had explained it to her after finding her in floods of tears when Pierre had been killed by his evil twin in season six. "You're an actor? Like in Camp Pining Hearts?"

"Camp Pining Hearts is what inspired me to _become_ an actor!" Jamie exclaimed. "That scene in season three where Elliot is dying in Camille's arms after being savaged by a moose? It _moved_ me." He clutched at his chest and swooned, then had to grab the door frame to stop himself from actually falling over.

"Well, the communications hub was destroyed after I sent that broadcast," Peridot admitted. "So I'm afraid I can't assist you with your request."

"That's all right," he said cheerfully. "Local theatre keeps me occupied at the moment. Here in Beach City, I _am_ the casting director." He glanced at his watch. "I'd better get back to work now. It was nice to meet you, Peridot."

Peridot watched him climb back down the steps, then went inside and placed the parcel on the kitchen counter. Then she went back outside and craned her head up to look at the temple statue. Presumably it was a representation of the fusion of Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl and Rose Quartz, and she had so many questions about it. How did the fusion dance work, with four - well, technically five - gems involved? With such very different gems involved, it had to be slightly more complicated than the Ruby cheer squad. How would it look now, with Steven instead of his mother? Could Steven even fuse? Was it actual size? Bigger than actual size? _Smaller_ that actual size?

And most importantly, how was she going to get up to its hand in order to examine the washing machine? She assumed the Crystal Gems just jumped, like Steven had done with the pile of shirts, but like shapeshifting and bubbling, that was a skill she wasn't even sure she'd be capable of. She sighed, climbed over the railing and began walking along one of the arms. "This would be a much simpler process if I still had my limb enhancers," she grumbled under her breath.

It took a while to climb up a near-vertical arm, but she eventually managed to pull herself up into the elbow joint of another arm, and from there, it was a fairly easy walk up to the statue's hand, where she discovered another warp pad. "That would've been useful to know fifteen minutes ago," she commented aloud, glaring at it.

The washer and dryer were at the base of the thumb, and to her delight, the former was actually running. She sat down in front of it and watched, enchanted, as shirts tumbled round and round and round and round and round…

xXx

I love writing Jamie, he's so much fun. Anyway, here's hoping they never actually tell us much about what happens on CPH, I enjoy making up these little snippets without having to check and see if they can fit in the canon.


	16. Its Beginning To Look A Lot Like Giftmas

Chapter Sixteen - It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Giftmas

Peridot had no idea how long she'd been sitting there, but the sound of voices snapped her out of her trance and she peered over the edge of the hand to see Steven and Lapis walking up the steps of the beach house. "Hello!" she shrieked, grabbing a finger and leaning dangerously over the edge. "Steven! Lapis! Up here! It's me, Peridot!"

Steven waved back and said something to Lapis. A moment later, he soared up into the air and gently floated down to land beside her. "Hi, Peridot!" he said cheerfully as Lapis landed next to him. "What brings you to the temple today?"

Lapis forced a smile onto her face as she added, "how's the kitchen coming along?"

"Work on the kitchen is progressing well," Peridot reported. "I merely came here to seek technical advice regarding the washing machine."

"Season twelve?" Steven guessed immediately.

"I thought it best to verify the likelihood of such a scenario taking place," Peridot admitted.

"Sorry, what?" Lapis butted in, annoyed that she didn't understand their conversation.

"Peridot's just worried the washing machine might explode," Steven quickly explained. "It's highly unlikely," he added to the little green gem. "But they can catch fire. Or spring a leak. Probably not both at the same time though. I'm surprised this cycle's still running," he commented, watching the machine churn away. "I guess Pearl put it on a delayed cycle. They must be planning to come back tonight, she hates when the wet clothes are left for long."

"Where _are_ the rest of the team anyway?" Peridot asked.

"Out looking for Jasper," Lapis interjected.

"What?" Peridot looked at Steven, who nodded in confirmation. "Why didn't anybody tell me?"

"Maybe they didn't think you, um…" Steven trailed off, trying to think of a nice way to phrase his sentence.

"Cared?" Lapis finished, a small smile tugging at her lips.

"Of course I care!" Peridot snapped.

Lapis laughed lightly. "Oh, sorry, I just thought because you've never mentioned her at all-"

"I _thought_ she'd been captured already," Peridot retorted. "Until recently, I wasn't even made aware-"

"They _probably_ didn't want to confuse her," Steven hastily interrupted. "I mean, last time you saw Jasper was on the ship, right? So if she sees you with the others, she might think you're being held prisoner and that might, you know, make her fight more. But if you're not there, she might come more quietly."

It made sense, but Peridot was still hurt nobody had thought to ask her opinion on the matter, or even told her anything about Jasper's situation. "Nobody tells me anything," she grumbled under her breath.

Thankfully, before anyone could say another word about Jasper, the washing machine suddenly slowed to a halt and a little light blinked on, signalling the end of the cycle. "Ah, it's done," Steven said in relief. "Let's put these in the dryer for Pearl."

Six pairs of hands meant the work was swiftly over with, and the three of them warped back into the beach house. Peridot immediately made for the kitchen and picked up the parcel. "An actor delivered this for you while you were out," she said, handing it over to him. "I was under the impression that was a job usually carried out by the postal services?"

"Oh, he's a mailman by trade. Acting's just Jamie's hobby," Steven explained, turning the parcel over in his hands as Lapis leaned over his shoulder. "And actually, I think this is for you."

"What?" Peridot and Lapis said in unison. "Why did he say it was for you then?" Peridot added, taking the parcel back.

"Post goes to the person it's addressed to, but that doesn't always mean it's _for_ that person" Steven explained. He pointed to the label on the front. "See, it says my name on it, but I can tell from the postmark that it's something for you."

Peridot still looked confused, so he sighed and clarified further. "It's a present."

 _Another one!?_ Lapis thought incredulously. Still, she carefully arranged her features into a neutral expression as Peridot tore open the top of the Jiffy bag and tipped out a rectangle, but she couldn't stop herself from wincing at the high-pitched shriek of delight that came out of the other gem's mouth when she realized what she was holding.

"The Camp Pining Hearts Season Two Winter Holiday Special DVD!" Peridot flailed with delight. "Where did you get it? You said it was out of print! You said it wasn't available online for less than seventy dollars! You said there was a warehouse fire and twenty thousand copies were destroyed!"

"I found it on a little site called eBuy," Steven boasted, puffing his chest out with pride. "Some fool was selling it for twenty bucks. It had to be shipped from Canada, I've been waiting for it to arrive for more than a month now."

"Wow, thanks! Thank you, thank you, _thank you!_ "

Peridot flung her arms around Steven's neck and hugged him tightly, and Lapis felt her hands twitch with the urge to pull her off and throw her out of the window. "What exactly is this… Camp Heart Winter Special thing?" she asked once she could trust her voice not to tremble with rage.

Peridot gasped and shoved Steven away. "Camp Pining Hearts is only _the single best entertainment show_ human beings have produced in the last twenty years!" she exclaimed, rushing over to Lapis's side and shoving the case under her nose.

Lapis leaned away from the other gem and took the case gingerly from her with a slight look of disdain. One side showed two insipid youths glaring at each other from opposing ends of a boat that had frozen in place in the middle of a lake, the name of the show printed above their heads in unnecessarily twirly text. The other side had a picture of another human youth, wearing nothing but a giant red ribbon wrapped around her body. "It's the winter holidays at Camp Pining Hearts and that means it's time for the campers to dust off their ice hockey boots and snow shoes. The biggest event in the camp diary is the Winter Gift-Giving Festival, and all Paulette wants to give Percy is her heart. But there's an unwelcome visitor in the woods… will their gift be one to die for?" she read aloud in a monotone. "No offence," she lied, handing the case back to Peridot, "but it sounds terrible."

"It is," Peridot said happily. "That's what's makes it so good."

Lapis looked at Steven for clarification, but he just smiled up at her. "I don't understand," she admitted.

"It's entertaining," Steven explained. "It doesn't have to be good, it just has to be fun!"

"It serves no practical purpose; it doesn't seek to educate or report genuine events," Peridot added enthusiastically. "The plotlines are completely unrealistic and the actor's mannerisms are overemotional to the point of melodrama. And yet, these flaws only make the show that more enjoyable."

"Except for season five," Steven butted in.

Peridot shuddered. "We don't speak of season five." Swiftly recovering, she smiled up at Lapis. "Perhaps if you watched it, you might understand," she suggested hopefully.

"I don't know…" Lapis said hesitantly. She didn't want to leave Peridot alone with Steven. But she also didn't want to watch Peridot's TV show. What if she actually ended up _liking_ it!? She took the case back again and looked at the front. "This is the season two special, right?" she asked, stalling for time. "Shouldn't I start at season one?"

"Not a problem!" Peridot immediately replied. "I _just_ so happen to possess the season one box set on DVD."

Of course she did. Of _course._ Undoubtedly another present. She'd probably been given all twenty years of it-

And then Lapis had the most glorious idea. "Is-is it back at the barn?" she asked, just to be sure. "Because I'd like to fly for a little while and watch the sunset, so if you like, I could go and get it while you two watch that one."

Peridot nodded thoughtfully. "That's an excellent suggestion. My Camp Pining Hearts DVDs are in a box behind the sofa on the upper level of the barn. They're all in order, so you shouldn't have any trouble finding the correct one." She suddenly clapped her hands together in glee. "This is going to be great!"

"Yeah." Lapis smiled widely back at her. "It is."

xXx

Oh my God, the lack of apostrophe in the chapter title is bugging me SO MUCH. But I had to take it out to fit the rest of the title in. I'm so sorry. I do mostly know my it's/its, I promise.

In other notes, it took all my self-restraint not to put the "wonderful, awful idea" line from The Grinch in there.

Anyway, reactions like that are why Steven buys Peridot so many gifts. It's so much fun when you know the other person is going to love it.


	17. All About That Boss

Chapter Seventeen - All About That Boss

"Has anybody seen Giselle? The ice hockey match is due to start in fifteen minutes and she's supposed to be the ref."

The campers exchanged glances. "Now you mention it, I haven't seen her all day," Lisa said slowly. "She was supposed to lead the art class and she never showed. Becky had to take over."

"Maybe Becky can take over the hockey too," Christophe suggested hopefully.

Maurice nodded. "Yeah. Giselle's such a butt. She banned Gina from leaving camp for two weeks, just because she 'accidentally' locked her in the pantry. _Which_ , by the way, she only did because Giselle made her tote twenty sacks of potatoes to the kitchen with no help, as a punishment for spying on her with Sam." He sighed and flopped back onto his bunk. "I was gonna ask her to see a movie in town with me this weekend too," he added mournfully. "I was gonna ask her to be my girl."

There were sympathetic murmurs from all the campers… except for little Dominique, who shuffled her feet nervously. "D-do you think we should tell someone Giselle's missing?" she asked timidly.

"No," Christophe and Maurice snapped in unison. "Why do you always have to be such a little snitch?" Christophe added nastily. "She's fine. Horrible people like her always are."

"She's probably been locked in the janitor's closet this time," Lisa said with a small laugh.

Offscreen, Peridot nudged Steven in concern. "Do you think they'll find her in time?"

"Oh yeah," Steven said confidently. "Look, the elder campers are leaving Dominique alone now, I bet she'll go looking for Giselle on her own."

The two fell silent as Dominique came to a silent conclusion, grabbed a torch from her bedside table and left the cabin, exactly as Steven as predicted. As the small girl began to walk through the dark trees, Peridot's mind began to wander as she found parallels between the events on screen and the recent situation with Jasper. Jasper may not have been a human camp counsellor, but like Giselle, she'd made a lot of enemies. And like Dominique, Peridot knew there was more to Jasper, but she didn't feel comfortable trying to defend her-

"Peridot, are you OK?" Steven suddenly asked.

"Of course!" Peridot said automatically. "Why do you ask?"

"Because Percy and Paulette have been kissing under the mistletoe for at least forty-five seconds now and you haven't said a word." Steven waved a hand at the screen, where a close-up of the two campers mashing their mouth-holes together was taking place, complete with noisy slurping. "I see what you mean about his lung capacity."

"Eugh." Peridot pulled a face at the screen. "Why couldn't the masked intruder stab _her?_ Wait, what are you doing!?" she exclaimed in horror as Steven pointed the remote at the TV and paused the show.

"Pausing the show," Steven said firmly. "So you can tell me what's bothering you."

"What's _bothering_ me is their tongues are doing that _thing_! Can't you wait until the next scene?" Peridot complained, covering her eyes.

Steven rolled his eyes and unpaused the show.

Twenty seconds passed.

"Are they done yet?" Peridot asked.

"Nope, still going- ah, there, the hockey match is about to start," Steven said with relief. Onscreen, the two teenagers pulled apart with a wet smacking sound as they heard the whistle and he hit pause before they could start again. "Better?"

Peridot peeped through her fingers and then lowered her hands. "Much better."

They sat in silence for a few seconds. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," Steven said eventually. "But if it's making you zone out during Camp Pining Hearts, it must be something serious."

Peridot sighed heavily. "I was thinking about Jasper," she admitted. "I know she took you prisoner and separated Garnet and fused with Lazuli to fight you all… and yes, she can be annoying and overbearing and bossy-"

"There's gonna be a 'but' here, isn't there?" Steven interrupted with a small smile.

Peridot blinked, nonplussed. "Excuse me!?"

"Not a butt but, a but!" Steven quickly clarified. "Like, 'Paulette is annoying _but_ I have to admit, she's good at archery.'"

"She's not that great," Peridot muttered.

"Back to Jasper," Steven quickly prompted before Peridot could start complaining about Paulette's numerous flaws. "She's annoying and bossy and hit me in the face. But?"

"But… she is actually the most pleasant boss I've ever had," Peridot concluded.

"Huh." Steven thought about that for a moment. "So that either means Jasper can be nicer than we've seen, or Homeworld has some really bad bosses."

Peridot chuckled a little at that. "Actually, both statements are equally valid. Unlike my previous superiors, Jasper didn't discourage questions, nor did she indulge in petty punishments. And of course, she fought for Homeworld during the rebellion, so it's not surprising that as the remnants of Rose Quartz's army, she was antagonistic towards you. She was generally pleasant towards _me_ though."

Steven mulled over that for a moment. "So…" he said slowly. "If you don't mind me asking, why _didn't_ you ever ask about her?"

"Honestly?" She sighed and hugged her knees to her chest, an action Steven now recognised as one of distress. "I was… apprehensive… about doing so."

Steven fidgeted, feeling a little uncomfortable as he recalled the harness. And the robot fight. And the runaway drill. And the moon. "Because of us?"

Peridot glanced at him and quickly looked away again with a blush. "Partly," she confessed. "I know I didn't often articulate myself in an appropriate manner, and I didn't understand why some of my requests were met with such hostility. So I concluded that enquiries into Jasper's welfare would not be particularly well received. But..." She paused for a moment and bit her lip. "After a while, I think… I didn't _want_ to know."

"You thought maybe we'd done something bad to her?" Steven guessed.

Peridot dipped her head in confirmation. "I'd hoped she was in the bubble room where you put me, but of course, I was only in there the one time and I couldn't be sure. Obviously I was in no position to make enquiries when you first captured me, but then, when I actually began to _like_ you clods, I didn't want to ask in case I discovered you'd shattered my escort." Her mouth twisted into a wry smile. "It might have put a strain on our truce. I preferred to remain ignorant."

"I'm sorry," Steven said softly. "We didn't treat you very well, did we?"

"I was your prisoner." Peridot shrugged. "I invaded your planet. I wasn't expecting to be treated well. You were certainly under no obligation to answer my questions."

"But still…" Steven frowned. "Once we called a truce, we should've been nicer to you. Maybe if we had, you could've talked to us about your plan to contact Yellow Diamond."

There was a long moment of uncomfortable silence as they both thought about that. "It hardly matters now," Peridot said eventually. "I redeemed myself, correct?"

"Yeah." Steven reached over and pulled her into a one-armed hug. "You're one of us now. And you know you can talk to us about anything, right?"

The wailing stone and the broken bracelet popped into Peridot's mind and she blinked to dismiss them. "Right," she agreed quietly.

xXx

It's a sad flaw of the Crystal Gems that they do tend to get violent quickly, so I always figured that's why Peridot never asked what happened to Jasper and Lapis. I mean, even just a polite request that Garnet unfuse got her tied to a fence. We know why Garnet reacted like that, of course, but we also know on Homeworld, fusions are for fighting only, so for Peridot, it probably felt like working with a tank constantly looming over her shoulder. Not the most comfortable environment for encouraging questions about her missing colleagues!

Anyway! Sorry it's a short chapter, buuuuut it does come with MOAR ART! The link should be on my profile, assuming the site hasn't eaten half the url.


	18. Intruder Window

Chapter Eighteen - Intruder Window

"Well, that was a bust," Amethyst grumbled as she walked up the sandy beach of Mask Island, shaking sea water out of her hair as she went.

"We should've come here sooner," Garnet admitted.

"Do you have any ideas where she might be now?" Pearl asked.

Garnet shrugged. "Jasper is a divisive subject and as a consequence, I see many possibilities. It's possible the currents carried her away from here and she's further out at sea-"

"Nu-uh!" Amethyst protested. "We've searched for _miles!_ "

"And if we'd come here last week instead of battling the Sanddragon, we may have found her," Garnet pointed out. "But too much time has passed since then."

"So she could be anywhere," Pearl said gloomily.

"Yes," Garnet said simply. "But there are other possibilities. It's equally likely that she sought refuge on this island. And if that's the case…"

"…We can ask the watermelon Stevens if they've seen anything," Pearl finished.

They began to make their way carefully across the land. The earthquake had hit the tropical paradise hard and faults and fissures had devastated the landscape around the shore. Thankfully, the topography of the land improved as they moved inland and soon they began to see signs of civilisation.

"Hey," Amethyst spoke as a watermelon chickcrossed her path. "Do you think those guys actually taste like chicken, or just regular watermelon?"

" _Don't_ eat the chickens," Pearl said immediately.

"Uh, I wasn't _going_ to," Amethyst said, looking deeply insulted. "I was just making _conversation_."

Pearl looked abashed. "Oh. Well, in that case…" She looked thoughtfully after the chicken. "As they're simply watermelons who happen to be _shaped_ like chickens, I'd imagine they taste of watermelon."

"Yeah, that's what I thought." She grinned all of a sudden. "Shall I catch it and see if we're right?"

"NO!"

Garnet held up a hand to stop the argument before it could start. "I hear something."

The other two gems fell silent. Sure enough, something was rustling through the undergrowth, something much larger than a chicken. A moment later, several watermelon Stevens emerged from between the bushes, and came to a halt in front of the gems.

"Hello. Thank you again for your help in the battle," Garnet said, crouching down so she was eye level with them and adjusting her visor. "We're sorry to bother you again, but we need to ask you if you've seen one of the gems we were fighting?"

"Her name's Jasper and she's big and orange and mean," Amethyst added.

The watermelons exchanged glances, then one stepped forward and began speaking gibberish.

"Ah," Pearl said. "Um… do you know charades? How many syllables?"

Amethyst rolled her eyes. "I have a better idea." She scanned the ground for a moment, and then pounced upon a stick. "Here," she said, handing it to the lead watermelon. "Use it to write on the ground."

"I'm very good at charades though," Pearl muttered, but she shut up and watched carefully as the watermelon Steven laboriously scratched out 'sorry we have not seen her' in the dirt.

Garnet frowned slightly. "Hmm. It's still possible she's on the island somewhere, keeping out of sight. Would it be all right if we searched the area?"

The watermelons nodded and said something in their own language before waving and walking away. The Crystal Gems watched them go, before resuming their trek through the jungle. "I have a question," Amethyst said after a few moments. "If Jasper did come up onto the island, why would she still be here now?"

"That's a good point." Pearl turned to Garnet. "Lapis recovered her strength and was ready to leave less than twenty-four hours after we defeated Malachite. Even if Jasper were here at one point, surely she'd be strong enough to have moved on by now?" She suddenly gasped and clapped her hands over her mouth. "Steven! Oh my stars, what if she's at the temple _right now!?_ "

"Steven's fine," Garnet said calmly. "He's with Lapis, remember? I don't think Jasper will be in a hurry to confront her again any time soon, even if she _is_ at full strength. Which I don't believe she is."

Amethyst frowned. "But like Pearl said, Lapis was fine a couple of hours later."

"That's because Lapis was in control of Malachite," Garnet explained. "She was the dominant personality for much of their time together. During that time, Jasper was constantly fighting an uphill battle she was woefully unprepared for. It will have taken a much greater toll on her and consequently, it will take her far longer to recover. If she _did_ come here, there's still a very good chance we might find her."

The other two gems looked doubtful, but then Pearl shrugged. "I suppose you _do_ know a lot more about fusion than we do."

"But what if she's _not_ here?" Amethyst persisted. "Do you think she might go to the temple?"

"It's possible," Garnet admitted. "As I said before, I see many possible futures involving Jasper. But there are very few that have her confronting Steven, and in those scenarios, he's usually the victor."

"Soooo…" Amethyst drawled. "We could search every inch of this island and still be no closer to finding her?"

"Not exactly." Garnet smirked. "We'd know she's not here. That's one place crossed off the list."

xXxXx

Three hours later, Pearl placed her hands on her hips and sighed. "She's not here, is she?"

Garnet swept her gaze across the shoreline and shook her head. "It would appear not."

"So what's our next move, G?" Amethyst took a bite out of a piece of watermelon. Nobody liked to ask her where it had come from. "I know you said there's a lot of possibilities, but are there any that stick out more?"

"Hmm." Garnet adjusted her visor. "If we can't find her, then the next likely scenarios are that she comes to us, in search of either Steven or Peridot."

"Peridot?" the other two said in unison.

Garnet nodded. "Her job was to act as Peridot's escort, remember? Peridot is the only ally she has here and she must be wondering what's happened to her. But…" She frowned slightly. "Both futures are equally likely. I don't see anything yet that makes one more likely than the other. I need to talk to Lapis."

She began to march purposefully towards the sea, and after a moment of surprise, Pearl and Amethyst ran to catch up with her. "Why Lapis?" Amethyst asked, tossing the watermelon rind aside.

"She spent many months fused with Jasper," Garnet said, pointing out the obvious. "She knows better than anyone what Jasper's emotions were like during that period and she may be able to predict her motivations now."

The three gems began to make their way back to the mainland and Beach City, and arrived just as dusk was falling. They approached the temple and Pearl pushed open the door with a cheery "hello!"

"AAAAAAH!"

"IT'S THE MASKED INTRUDER!"

The Crystal Gems watched with bemusement as Steven and Peridot grabbed wildly at each other. A bubble shield had formed automatically around the pair and their movements caused it to roll lazily off the bed and over the edge of Steven's loft. Garnet put out a foot to stop it and looked down at the two gems entangled within. "I have to admit, that wasn't quite the welcome I was expecting."

"Sorry," Steven said sheepishly and dropped the shield.

"You haven't been borrowing more of Sadie's movies, have you?" Pearl asked suspiciously. "You had nightmares about that bear for a week."

"It's the Camp Pining Hearts Season Two Winter Holiday Special," Peridot explained, scrambling back to her feet. "It just happened to be at a tense moment."

Amethyst's eyes lit up "Oh, isn't that the one where glmph phh mm!"

"Don't spoil it for them," Garnet scolded. "And don't lick my hand either. Go," she added to the two younger gems. "Finish your show. We'll talk afterwards."

"But did you-" Steven began.

Garnet held out a hand to stop him. "Afterwards. You have ten seconds before they unmask the intruder. You don't want to miss that."

They didn't need to be told twice; they charged for the stairs and almost tripped over each other before Steven decided to jump up instead.

"Where's Lapis?" Pearl said suddenly. "I thought she was here with you?"

"She went-" Steven began, only to be interrupted by a loud 'SHH!' from Peridot. "She went back to the barn to get season one," he repeated in a quieter voice. "Then she said OH MY GOODNESS, MAURICE!?"

"I'm sorry?" Pearl said, before she realised he was screaming at the television. "Never mind. I'm going to get the clothes out of the wash."

"We already put them in the dryer for you," Steven called, before diverting his attention back to the television. "I can't believe it was Maurice! He seemed so nice."

"I must admit, I was certain it would turn out to be Gina," Peridot said as the freshly unmasked Maurice was quickly hogtied by Pierre. "She had the strongest motive."

Steven shrugged. "I guess he was _really_ mad he didn't get to go to the movies with her."

Peridot sighed wistfully. "If only he'd managed to kill Paulette instead of Christophe."

"You still think she's the worst?" Steven teased. "Even after she shot him in the leg with an arrow?"

Onscreen, Paulette was dramatically weeping in Percy's arms as Pierre wrapped a red ribbon around her hand as a makeshift bandage, and Peridot rolled her eyes. "She'll _always_ be the worst."

xXx

Well boy, was I ever wrong about Jasper's motivations. Haha! Oh well. So! Future vision! We haven't been given a great deal of information on how it works, so I've kinda been writing assuming it follows these points:

One: It's a power Garnet has to actively be using at that moment. Otherwise she'd be like the TARDIS in "The Doctor's Wife" and get time scrambled up all the time. So if she's not actively looking at a scenario, she doesn't know shit. That's why in Future Vision, she has to stop and think every time Steven asks what she can see - she doesn't know until she looks.

Two: Garnet doesn't exactly know the future. She knows possibilities for the future and can determine what outcomes are more likely when given more current information. So looking for Jasper right now is extremely difficult because she can see a million possibilities, and has no information to let her know which ones are more likely. She sees that Jasper building an army is a possible scenario. She sees all AU's! She can even see that Lapis being in possession of Jasper's gem is a possible scenario too, but is ignoring it because it seems so unlikely.

Three: Ruby is distracting Sapphire all the time.

These are, of course, all my headcanons and likely to be debunked at any time, but they do explain why Garnet still gets surprised by things and also why she makes bad decisions sometimes. She sees outcomes where things go right and things go wrong and has to guess which ones are more likely to work out, but a 99% chance of things going right still means there's that 1% chance where it could go wrong.


	19. Joke's On You

Chapter Nineteen - Joke's On You

The other Crystal Gems left them alone to watch the last few minutes of the show in silence, and it wasn't until the end credits began rolling that Steven remembered he'd been talking to Pearl. "Oh gosh, I'm sorry Pearl! I was saying Lapis said she was going to fly around and watch the sunset too."

"Where's she watching it from?" Amethyst said dryly, waving towards the night sky visible through the window. "Cause it finished _here_ about an hour ago."

"Perhaps she decided to watch it first and go to the barn afterwards?" Steven suggested. "Or maybe-oh, there she is."

Sure enough, a moment later, Lapis pushed open the door with one hand, a book clutched in the other, and froze as everyone turned to look at her. "Hello…?" she said warily.

"Ah, Lapis." Garnet slid off of the kitchen stool and stood up straight. "We need to talk to you about Jasper."

"Oh." She stepped fully into the room and allowed the door to swing shut behind her before placing her book on the kitchen counter. "So did you manage to find her?"

"No," Pearl sighed. "We searched the sea and the island, but there wasn't a single sign of her."

"Gone like a fart in the wind," Amethyst added, grinning at Pearl's grimace of disgust.

"That's why we want to talk to you," Garnet cut in. "I believe Jasper will come looking for either Steven or Peridot-"

"Me!?" Peridot squeaked.

"Yes, you." Garnet smiled down at the smaller gem. "As far as she's aware, you're the only ally she has here on Earth. But I can't calculate which choice would be more likely without knowing more about her recent state of mind." She turned back to Lapis and looked at her expectantly.

"Um." Lapis fidgeted, resenting being put on the spot like this. She took a deep breath and tried to think logically. "Well, to be honest, she really wasn't all that bothered about Peridot at all," she said slowly. "She barely thought about her at all. She obsessed over Steven a lot though. She was also really mad at you," she added, nodding at Garnet. "She blames you for the ship crashing and making her think fusion was an acceptable battle tactic."

Garnet scowled at that. "I am _not_ a battle tactic!"

Lapis shrugged. "As far as Homeworld is concerned, you are. But my point is, if you're asking me, I think you and Steven are more likely targets than Peridot."

"I see. Thank you." Garnet mulled over that for a moment. Truthfully, she had seen possible futures where Jasper came looking for her, but they'd seemed so unlikely, she hadn't bothered examining them further. She'd have to spend a few hours meditating upon this. "Steven, it's getting late. Maybe you should start getting ready for bed?"

"Aw, but we were gonna watch season one with Lapis," Steven groaned. "Wait, where _is_ season one?"

Lapis looked down at her empty hands. "Oh. I forgot. Sorry."

"It's OK. We can watch it another time, right, Peridot?" Steven gave her a nudge.

"What?" Peridot said, distracted. "Oh, yes, that's fine. Perhaps when I finish construction on my dual-widescreen multimedia player, you could come to the barn and watch it with us there?"

Steven nodded. "I'll bring popcorn."

xXxXx

A few minutes later, Lapis and Peridot warped back to the pad by the barn and began walking the short distance to their home in silence. Silence from Peridot was very unusual and when Lapis glanced down at her, she noted that the other gem still seemed distracted by something. "Are you all right?" she asked, out of mild curiosity more than any real concern. "You're very quiet all of a sudden."

Peridot bit her lip and looked down at the ground. "It's nothing."

Now Lapis's curiosity was piqued. "What's nothing?" she persisted. She gave the smaller gem a very restrained nudge. "We're friends, aren't we? You can talk to me."

Peridot looked up at the other gem in surprise, a small spark of delight in her eyes before she looked away again. "It's really nothing to be concerned about," she said again. "I was just wondering… did-did Jasper really not show any concern towards me?"

 _Oh-hoh!_ Lapis blinked down at Peridot and bit the inside of her lip to keep from smiling. She'd only said that because she'd been worried that the Crystal Gems would insist upon hanging around the barn for weeks, waiting for Jasper to show up, but apparently she'd hit a nerve. "Not really, no," she said casually. "Like I said, she was mostly pretty mad at Steven and Garnet. Maybe she just figured you could take care of yourself."

Peridot frowned at that. While it was true that she had managed to evade the Crystal Gems for several months, Jasper was well aware that she was an Era 2 Peridot. She wasn't made for fighting, that was why she'd been assigned an escort in the first place-

"Oh!" Lapis suddenly exclaimed, stopping dead in her tracks. "I left my book at the beach house!" She gave Peridot a beseeching look. "Would you be a pal and go and get it for me?"

"You want me to go and fetch your book?" Peridot repeated, slightly puzzled. Why couldn't Lapis go and get it herself?

As if sensing the question, Lapis added "Steven will be doing his sleep now and I don't really feel comfortable around the others without him. Please?"

"Ooooookay," Peridot said slowly. "I suppose so."

"Great! Thanks so much, roomie!" Lapis beamed down at her. "Do you want me to put your DVD with the others while you're gone?"

"Oh. Sure, thanks." Peridot handed it over. "I won't be long." She turned and began walking back towards the warp pad.

Lapis waited until she was half way there, and then sped back to the barn, slamming the doors shut behind her. She had work to do.

xXxXx

The barn was in darkness when Peridot returned fifteen minutes later, Lapis's book in hand. "Lapis?" she cautiously called out as she fumbled for the light switch. "Is there a reason you've neglected to switch on the lights?"

"Oh, no, not really," Lapis replied from her position on the upper level of Peridot's side. She stifled a giggle. "You can switch them on."

It took a few seconds for their eyes to adjust to the sudden burst of light and another few for Peridot to realise there was something… _peculiar_ going on.

A row of plates was positioned along the middle of barn, right where Steven had drawn the line dividing the building in two. On each plate was a large, gelatinous blob. And inside each blob was…

She dropped the book and fell to her knees in front of the first plate. "What have you _done!?"_

Lapis began to laugh helplessly as Peridot plunged her hand into the mass of Jello and immediately recoiled in disgust. "Oh! It's horrible! What _is_ this stuff!?" she wailed, desperately looking around for something she could use to get her precious DVD's out of the gelatine. She quickly gave up, stuck her hands back in it and yanked season three out. Globules of Jello stuck firmly to the now-stained cardboard casing, and when she opened it up, the disks inside were covered in the stuff.

"Your _face!"_ Lapis wheezed in glee. Her stomach was starting to hurt now, but she didn't care. It was a good pain. "Oh, I haven't laughed this much in five thousand years!"

In stark contrast, Peridot felt almost sick with horror as she looked down the barn. Twenty-seven plates lay ahead of her; that was twenty seasons of television, the movie and six specials, including- "No," she moaned, spotting her newest present at the end of the barn, encased in purple goo. She staggered over to it and pulled the case out, hoping against hope that it had been too soon for any real damage to occur, but that hope faded when she looked down at Percy and Pierre's sticky, purple forms.

Suddenly filled with rage, she turned on Lapis, who was now rolling on the floor of the upper level in actual pain, tears rolling down her face as she laughed hysterically. "It's not funny! Stop laughing and _help_ me!" she screamed, stamping her foot for emphasis. Then she ran along the line, pulling the cases out of Jello and frantically tried to shake off the residual gloop from each one.

It took a full minute for Lapis to get herself under control, and when she did, Peridot had freed all of her DVDs and was now kneeling on the floor, opening all of the cases with trembling fingers. Every disk was covered in revolting, sticky goo. All the pages of the booklets were stuck together and every single piece of cardboard and paper was damp and stained.

"What's the matter?" Lapis asked with feigned ignorance, gliding down to stand beside the other gem. "It's just Jello, it's a joke. I thought it would make you laugh too."

For a moment, all Peridot could do was shake her head, certain that if she opened her mouth, she'd simply burst into tears. "T-they're all spoilt," she eventually whispered.

"What?" Lapis looked down at the stack of ruined DVDs, as if she had _absolutely no idea_ that submerging them in a warm mixture of water, sugar and gelatine before subjecting them to rapid freezing to solidify the mixture might cause some damage. "Oh no! I didn't mean to-Amethyst never said-"

"Amethyst?" Peridot said sharply, turning to look up at Lapis with wide, betrayed eyes. " _Amethyst_ told you to do this to my DVDs?"

"Not exactly," Lapis admitted, although it was deeply tempting to lay the blame at the other gem's feet. "She told me she did it to Pearl once, but she never said anything about it causing any damage. I suppose I must have misunderstood the joke. I'm so sorry." She suddenly snapped her fingers as if an idea had occurred to her. "I'll fix it!"

Before Peridot could even begin to question that comment, a mass of water suddenly surged through the open doors of the barn and swept up the DVDs, cases and booklets in a swirling vortex. "Stop it!" she shrieked in horror as a booklet disintegrated in front of her eyes. "You're making it worse!"

Immediately the whirlpool halted in place and the objects suspended within fell to the ground. "Oops," Lapis said innocently. She waved a hand and the water returned to the lake. "Sorry. I just wanted to help."

"Well _don't."_ Peridot began to gather up her broken possessions again. A soggy cardboard case dissolved into pulp in her hands and she closed her eyes with a groan. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if she stopped looking at it for a while.

Quiet footsteps sounded behind her and a moment later, Lapis spoke. "I really am sorry, Peridot. I'll replace them."

"How?" Peridot opened her eyes for a moment and immediately regretted it. "Urgh."

"I'll find a way." The other gem shuffled her feet for a moment. "Please don't tell Steven. He just gave you that winter one, he'd be so disappointed with me. I couldn't bear it."

Peridot cracked one eye open and glanced up at Lapis, who gazed back down at her with wide, imploring eyes. "Pleeeease," she begged, clasping her hands together.

"If I agree, will you leave me alone?" Peridot mumbled, closing her eye again and hugging her knees to her chest.

"I will leave you alone for as long as you desire," Lapis promised, inching towards her ladder. "See, I'm going already."

The trapdoor slammed shut, but it was at least an hour before Peridot could muster up the mental strength to open her eyes again.

xXx

I'm trying to imagine how I'd feel if somebody did this to my collection of Doctor Who DVD's and honestly, I think I'd cry until I puked. Poor Peridot. At least she got to watch the Winter Special once before it was ruined!

Changing the subject, you have no idea how disappointed I was with Jasper and Peridot's reunion! I was really hoping Jasper had been wondering what happened to her, and that she'd be upset with Peridot for joining the CGs, but they barely mentioned it at all. I guess they didn't know each other back on Homeworld, and must have barely interacted on the ship, which is a shame. Ah well, that's what fanfic is for, right?

Finally, I do try to update on Mondays and Thursdays every week, but this Thursday is going to be extremely, non-stop busy, so I'll be posting the update on Friday instead. Next week will be back on schedule.


	20. All By Myself

Chapter Twenty - All By Myself

Lapis spent a very pleasant night reading in her room, and when morning rolled around, she placed the book back on the bookcase, next to some new additions she'd bubbled for herself in a supermarket the day before. Then she tiptoed over to the window and silently flew away. She didn't bother telling Peridot she was going; she had, after all, promised to leave her alone.

Once again, she landed outside the door of the beach house and walked right in. "Good morning, beach summer fun buddy!" she sang.

"Morning, Lapis," Steven greeted.

For once, he wasn't poking around with the stove. Instead, Amethyst was flipping a stack of pancakes onto plates with a practised air. "Hey," she greeted, pushing a plate towards the boy, who immediately squirted maple syrup and whipped cream over them. "It's you. Again. Don't you have a home to go to?"

"Yeah, but it's kinda full of, oh yeah, the contents of your room right now," Lapis said blithely, sliding onto the stool next to Steven. "What are you doing today, looking for Jasper again?" She nudged the boy playfully. "We could go to Britain like you wanted."

"Actually, we're gonna head out to the gem battlefield," Amethyst interjected, squirting cream and syrup over her own stack of pancakes. Then she scarfed down the entire lot in one bite. "Wanna come?"

Lapis hesitated. "Is Steven going?" she asked warily.

Steven nodded and swallowed a bite of pancake. "Pearl thought Jasper might go there for weapons and Garnet said even if she doesn't, it's probably a good idea to go there and get rid of the weapons anyway."

As if on cue, the temple door slid open and Garnet and Pearl walked out. "We brought back some of it last time, but there's still a lot of old gem weaponry on the battlefield," Garnet explained. "It's going to be a big job. We'll need every pair of hands."

"Oh, then we should bring Peridot!" Steven said brightly, spearing another piece of pancake and then washing it down with half a glass of orange juice.

"Maybe that's not such a great idea," Lapis quickly objected. "I mean, what if Jasper _is_ there?" she added as the Crystal Gems turned to look at her. "Like you said yesterday, Steven, if she sees Peridot with us, she might think she's being held against her will. Especially as she doesn't have those, y'know, metal arms and legs any more."

"Limb enhancers," Pearl corrected. "But yes. You might have a point there."

"We can take her," Amethyst protested. "I mean, we kicked Malachite's butt once already, Jasper'll be a piece of cake."

"But you just said you're going to a place filled with gem weaponry," Lapis pointed out. "Is it Quartz weaponry, like the axe in Amethyst's room? Do you really want to fight her in a place filled with her own type of weapons?"

Amethyst pursed her lips. "Some of those swords and things are really big," she admitted. "Garnet?"

"Hmm." Garnet frowned. "Lapis is right. It's too dangerous for Peridot to come with us. If Jasper is there, we can't risk antagonising her while she's surrounded by Quartz weaponry."

"Well, I'm going to leave a note for her in case she comes here," Steven said stubbornly. He pushed his plate and glass to one side, slid off of his stool and ran to his room to find a piece of paper and a pen. Then he ran back to the kitchen counted and began to write.

 _Peridot - me and the rest of the gems have gone to the battlefield to hide the weapons from Jasper. Don't worry, we'll be back later. We really wanted you to come too, but Garnet said it would be too dangerous. Maybe next time! Love - Steven and the Crystal Gems :)_

"Shall we be off then?" Pearl asked, strolling over to the warp pad.

"I just gotta grab my backpack," Steven said as Garnet and Amethyst joined their other teammate.

Lapis watched him hunt through the cupboards for some snacks and then rush up to his room for his backpack. Then she glanced down at the note. With a small twitch of her finger, the drops of condensation on Steven's glass rolled across the counter top, floated across the paper and then fell over the word 'love', blurring the ink into illegibility.

xXxXx

Back at the barn, Peridot had spent the rest of the night carefully cleaning the Jello off of her DVDs and laid the cases out to dry. Then she started building her dual-widescreen multimedia player. Aware that the lure of a television would distract her, she'd originally planned to wait until she'd finished renovating the barn before creating the device, but now she just wanted to find out if any of her DVDs could be saved. So far it wasn't looking promising - the disc drive had refused to recognise anything except Season Five, Disk 2 and even then, it had jumped all through the first episode before freezing entirely. One possibility was that the optical laser was faulty. A far more likely possibility, judging by the scratched, warped disks, was that the vortex of water had been full of grit.

She sighed and tossed a screwdriver aside before flopping onto her back to stare up at the roof of the barn. It wasn't the end of the world, she reminded herself, because she'd already helped stop that from happening. She still had tapes. Admittedly only half of season two and four, with abysmal sound and picture quality, and somebody had recorded half a baseball game over the season four finale, but it was better than nothing.

After a few minutes of brooding, she decided to put the issue out of her mind and get back to work. She'd built most of the appliances yesterday and observed the washing machine in action, so if she worked hard, she might actually be able to complete the kitchen by the end of the day. She launched into action and began measuring up wood for the counters. Then she had to measure it all over again when her plans showed she'd apparently transposed a couple of numbers. But soon, the cabinets had been built, the fridge and oven had been switched on, and all that remained to do was plumb in the kitchen sink and washing machine.

A job, Peridot concluded, that would be much easier if Lapis were to lend a hand. She walked over to the ladder on the other side of the barn and tilted her head back to look up at the trapdoor. "Lapis? If you're not too busy, I could use your assistance with the kitchen," she called up.

There was no response.

Undeterred, Peridot waited several minutes before trying again. "Lapis?" She climbed a few rungs up the ladder and knocked on the trapdoor. "Could you help me with the plumbing please?"

When there was still no response, she pressed her ear up against the trapdoor and listened intently. After a few more minutes, she reluctantly began to accept that Lapis wasn't there, and even the dumbest Ruby could probably work out where she was instead. She stepped backwards with a sigh and promptly fell off the ladder. "Yeow!"

She didn't really want to fiddle around with the water pipes without Lapis around to hold the water back, so she wrote in her diary for an hour before knocking on the trapdoor again.

There was _still_ no response.

Peridot huffed irritably. "This is a basic safety violation," she grumbled under her breath. "If the barn caught fire and I didn't know you were gone, I could _die_ trying to rescue you!" she called up to the trapdoor in a louder tone. Then she turned her back on the trapdoor and began putting her collection of shirts away in the chest of drawers she'd repaired the day before, with slightly more noise than was really necessary.

She was halfway through the pile of clothing, when she picked up a pair of pink jeans with patterned cuffs. She absently began folding them up and then paused. Then she unfolded them again and examined them closely. Deja-vu washed over her. Weren't these were the jeans she'd asked Lapis to return to Amethyst the day before? She could distinctly recall handing them over. But then again, her memory had been faulty recently, so maybe she'd imagined that conversation. That was a slightly worrying thought, so she immediately banished it to the back of her mind with all the other stuff she didn't want to think about right now.

Still, she decided it might be a good idea to return the jeans to the beach house now, before she forgot about them again.

xXxXx

It was obvious that the beach house was empty as soon as Peridot warped in, but she still checked the bathroom and Steven's room, just in case.

It didn't take her long to find the note. She stared at it for a few seconds until all the words went blurry. Too dangerous? Had they forgotten that she'd evaded them for several months, relying on nothing but her wits? Well, OK, that and her limb enhancers. But still, surely she'd proven that she could take care of herself, right? She didn't need limb enhancers to protect herself! Then she remembered the gem mutants in the kindergarten and frowned. Maybe she didn't need her limb enhancers, but some sort of weapon might be useful.

She read the note again, then sighed, folded it up and put it in her gem. Then she took out the jeans and placed them carefully on the kitchen counter.

Then she began to contemplate weaponry. It was yet another thing she hadn't bothered worrying about back on Homeworld, because Peridots had all the weaponry they needed in their limb enhancers. She knew from Steven's diary that summoning a shield was the first gem skill he'd shown, but then again, he was a Quartz, built for fighting. _She_ was a technician, most definitely _not_ built for fighting.

Of course, Pearl wasn't built for fighting either, Peridot realized, in which case, her advice would probably be the most useful. "What was it Steven wrote? Dance like a tree?" she muttered. How was a tree supposed to dance? She hesitantly waved her arms around, pretending they were branches swaying in the wind, and tried not to think about whether she looked as silly as she felt-

A perky tune suddenly cut through the silence and Peridot almost tripped over her own feet (roots?) in fright before she realized it was just Steven's communicator. She picked it up, noting the name 'CONNIE' on the screen, and jabbed at the green button. "Hello, Peridot speaking," she said, gingerly holding the device to her ear as she'd seen Steven do in the past.

"Oh, hi Peridot." Connie's voice sounded cheerfully in her ear. "Is Steven there?"

Peridot scowled. "No. Nobody's here. Again," she mumbled under her breath.

"Oh." Connie paused. "Well, I was just calling to say my mom said I can bring over some of her David Attenborough DVD's next time I come over-"

Peridot straightened up slightly. "When will that be?" she interrupted, hoping the answer would be 'now'.

"Um, well, I have sword training with Pearl this weekend, so I'll bring them then."

Peridot, who had no clue what a weekend was, looked blankly into the middle distance. "When will that be?" she repeated.

"In two days time," Connie clarified. "So I guess I'll see you then?"

"…Yes?" Peridot said, slightly puzzled. "Unless you're planning on keeping your eyes closed during your visit?"

Connie laughed. "It's just an expression. Anyway, I'd better go now-"

"Wait!" Peridot blurted out. She racked her brain for some way to keep Connie talking for longer. "If I were a tree, what classification do you think I'd be?"

"A pine tree," Connie said immediately.

Peridot smiled at that. "Really?"

"Sure. They're green and triangular, like you. Plus you like that TV show, right?" Connie paused for a moment. "Why do you ask?"

"Just something Pearl said," Peridot said dismissively.

"OK. Well, I have to-"

"What kind of tree would _you_ be?" Peridot interrupted.

"Um, I don't really know. I haven't thought about that." Connie thought for a moment. "Hang on, Fizzfood usually have personality quizzes, I'll bet they have a tree one." Peridot listened to the sound of tapping on the other end of the phone before Connie spoke again. "According to this, I'm a Weeping Willow. 'Quiet, reserved and intelligent'", she recited. "Not bad."

"What does it say about me?" Peridot asked with genuine interest.

There was a little more tapping. "'Prickly yet pleasing to the eye, you are the Holly Tree'", Connie said at last "I always thought of holly as more of a bush though, really."

"What's holly?"

"It's got shiny green spiky leaves," Connie explained. "Not pine tree spiky, more stretched-out-star spiky. And it often has red berries too."

"Oh! I have some of that, I think," Peridot said, pleased. "Do Steven next."

Connie glanced over at her school books and frowned slightly. She really did need to be getting on with her homework. But… she was very familiar with loneliness, and she could hear it clearly in Peridot's voice. "All right, give me a moment. Then do you want to know your personality colour?"

xXx

Sorry for the lateness! I passed my driving test yesterday and then did lots of scary solo driving today, so that's why I haven't been around. Back to the usual Monday/Thursday schedule from now.

So, I confess, I actually did search for tree personality quizzes for this chapter and found an actual, real, tree personality quiz that is a real thing that exists, and those are the actual, real results I got for Connie and Peridot. God bless the internet.


	21. Haven't You Noticed (I'm A Star)

Chapter Twenty-One - Haven't You Noticed (I'm A Star)

"-And your element is Earth," Connie finished. "I suppose that makes sense, seeing as you're a certified kindergartener."

Peridot nodded on the other end of the line. "Yes, that's a logical conclusion to draw. So what would your element be?"

The warp pad suddenly lit up and when the light faded, Amethyst and Pearl were stood there, carefully holding a giant mace between them. "Hey, 'Dot!" Amethyst greeted, waving a hand and causing Pearl to stumble with the weight imbalance. "Who you talking to?"

"It's Connie," Peridot informed her. "She's just been asking me a series of questions to determine what element I'd theoretically control."

Amethyst wrinkled her nose as she stepped off the warp pad. "Is that one of those personality quizzes, like that Crying Breakfast Friends thing?" she asked suspiciously.

Peridot nodded. "Apparently I'm Pining Grapefruit," she added proudly.

"That can't be right," Pearl said with a frown. "Didn't Garnet get Pining Grapefruit too?"

"No, Garnet got Spilled Milk, Greg was Pining Grapefruit," Amethyst corrected.

"Hmm. I'll ask Connie to do it again," Peridot said thoughtfully, and put the phone back to her ear.

"Actually, I really do have to go now, I have a ton of homework," Connie said apologetically, having overheard the conversation. "We can do the quiz again on Saturday though."

"Come on, Pearl, let's get this bad boy in my room," Amethyst said as Peridot put the phone back on the table where she'd found it.

"I still think it would make more sense to put them in nice, orderly collection in _my_ room," Pearl huffed.

The warp pad chimed again and Garnet appeared, a massive sword in her hands. "Later. Right now we just need to move that pile of weaponry away from the battlefield."

"Can I be of any assistance?" Peridot asked hopefully, jogging over to join them.

"Yeah, you can carry my end here while I look for a good place to put this stuff," Amethyst said, and before anyone could stop her, she dropped the handle of the mace in Peridot's arms.

It was far heavier than Peridot had expected, and she staggered and dropped it with a yelp. Taken by surprise, Pearl dropped her end as well, and the metal spikes hit the floor with a thud, firmly embedding themselves into the wood.

"AMETHYST!" Pearl roared. She reached down and tugged at the head of the mace, to no effect.

Amethyst shrugged as she opened the door. "My bad."

Garnet sighed and put the sword down next to the warp pad before marching over to assist Pearl. She reached down and yanked the mace out of the wood, and the two of them began to carry it towards the temple door, when a sudden loud, scraping noise made them both cringe. "Put it down, Peridot!" Garnet ordered.

"It's fine, I have everything under control," Peridot lied, her limbs shaking with effort as she dragged the sword across the floor. The blade gouged a line behind her as she went, before it snagged on the damaged section of the floor where the mace had landed, and was jerked out of her hands with another thud. "Oops."

"Oh my stars, the floor," Pearl moaned.

Garnet ground her teeth together and pushed the mace towards Amethyst, just as the warp pad chimed a third time and Steven appeared holding a spear at least three times as tall as he was. "Hi, Peridot!" he called cheerfully, waving at her. The spear wobbled wildly and he quickly put both hands back before it could take out one of the support beams. "Whoa!"

"This is too many people," Garnet said firmly. "Amethyst, you stay here and put the weapons in a pile somewhere. Pearl, take Steven back to the battlefield. He can bring the weapons here and I'll pass them on to Amethyst."

"But I-" Pearl began.

Garnet shook her head. "If you stay here, you're only going to be distracted by the state of the floor, and we can deal with that once everything else has been taken care of."

Pearl looked over at Peridot, who was valiantly trying to pull the sword out of the floor where it had jammed in place. "Very well."

"What would you like me to do?" Peridot asked, taking a small break to wipe the sweat from her brow and looking expectantly at the fusion.

Several possible futures immediately battled for attention in Garnet's mind and she hesitated. "Uh…"

"No offence, but I don't think you're gonna be much help here," Amethyst said apologetically before Garnet could reach a decision. "I mean, these weapons are seriously huge. Like…" She stretched her arms from one side of the room to the other. "Y'know? And you're already struggling with that sword."

"I'm not struggling!" Peridot squawked in outrage and gave the sword another fierce tug. Much to her surprise, it slid out of the floor as easily as if it were butter and she fell over backwards, dropping the sword again with yet another thud. "Ow."

"Yeah." Amethyst rolled her eyes. "Totally not struggling."

Peridot gave up on the sword. "Well, perhaps I could be of use in some other role," she said, climbing back to her feet. "I could accompany Pearl and Steven-"

"Absolutely not," Garnet said immediately.

"But why?" Peridot and Steven protested in unison. "We've been there all day, and there's been no sign of Jasper at all," Steven added.

"It's just too dangerous," Garnet said. "Jasper may not be at the battlefield now, but she could easily appear at any moment." She knew there were many ways the conversation could go wrong now, and so she removed her visor with a flick of her fingers so that the two younger gems could see how serious she was, and chose her next few words with care. "Peridot, I know you want to help, and if this were any other mission, I would welcome your assistance. But the safety of the team has to be my main priority, and I just can't risk sending you to the battlefield until we've removed the more dangerous weaponry. Do you understand?"

Peridot huffed and folded her arms in resignation. "I suppose there is a certain logic to your concerns," she muttered, averting her eyes from Garnet's intense gaze.

"Of course, if you had some sort of weapon of your own, it would be an entirely different matter," Pearl remarked without thinking.

Garnet groaned and massaged the bridge of her nose as her future visions rapidly dwindled down to mostly ones that sucked. "Pearl-"

"I'm working on it!" Peridot snapped defensively, drowning out Garnet's words. "And might I remind you that it wouldn't be an issue if _somebody_ hadn't thrown away my limb enhancers!"

"Hey!" Amethyst objected from the temple doorway. "I refuse to feel bad about that!"

"Pearl!" Garnet tried again.

"That's right," Pearl added, ignoring Garnet and coming to Amethyst's aid. "You persistently evaded us, kidnapped Steven and almost blasted us to death with those things! Naturally we disposed of them as soon as possible, we're not in the habit of keeping dangerous villains armed!"

"PEARL!"

To her credit, Pearl immediately realised she'd screwed up. "You're not a dangerous villain, I didn't mean that," she quickly corrected.

Amethyst nodded in agreement. "You're not a villain at all," she said reassuringly. "You're our Peridactyl!"

"And you're a Crystal Gem now!" Steven added.

"Am I?" Peridot let out a noise that was half laugh, half sob. She felt as if she'd been punched in the chest. She _knew_ she'd made a terrible first impression on the other gems (and her consequent encounters with them had hardly been any better), but after her confrontation with Yellow Diamond, she'd almost managed to persuade herself that they trusted her now. How foolish of her. "Am I really? I lured you all into a death trap, I'm a traitor to my own planet, and I only switched sides because I was scared of the Cluster, not because I shared your beliefs! Why _should_ you trust me!? I wouldn't trust me either! And now we've dealt with the Cluster, am I even remotely useful to you any more?"

"You don't need to be-" Pearl began, only to find a hand swiftly clamped over her mouth.

"Pearl, I beg of you, _please_ stop talking," Garnet muttered through gritted teeth.

Unfortunately, the damage was already done. "See!?" Peridot exclaimed shrilly, gesturing wildly in their direction. "I deluded myself into believing I was a real member of the team, but apparently I'm even less useful than your _pet lion!"_

To her horror, she felt hot tears gathering at the corners of her eye, and she rushed past Steven to the warp pad before anyone could see. "Peridot, wait!" Steven cried, and reached out to try and grab her as she ran past. The spear slipped out of his hands and smashed through a wooden beam, momentarily distracting him, and in the commotion, Peridot vanished.

For a moment, there was nothing but stunned silence. Then the broken beam creaked as it collapsed and smashed a hole in the floor.

"Well, _that_ just happened," Amethyst said eventually. "Pearl, how do you manage to suck _so bad_ at being reassuring?"

Pearl just groaned and closed her eyes. She didn't trust herself to speak any more.

"We should go after her," Steven said firmly and took a step towards the warp pad.

"No," Garnet said at once. "Leave her be, she won't want company just yet.

"But-" Steven began.

"I said no," Garnet repeated, beginning to wonder what on Earth was the point of having future vision if people didn't listen to her. "In fifteen minutes, I will tell you where she is and you and Amethyst can go and talk to her. But right now, we need to get these weapons put away. Preferably before the entire floor collapses."

xXx

Ouch. But really guys, you can't tell someone they're a Crystal Gem and then just leave them in the barn and never talk to them! I'm honestly surprised canon Peridot hasn't started doubting her place in the team too. Still, it's a good thing Pearl's got such tiny little ballet dancer feet, considering how much time they spent in her mouth here.

Also it's kinda sad just how much research I did into Crying Breakfast Friends for those three lines at the beginning. I tried three different quizzes to find Peridot's character and I still think it's wrong.


	22. Hello Darkness My Old Friend

Chapter Twenty-Two - Hello Darkness My Old Friend

Peridot wasn't quite sure what had motivated her to choose the warp by the old colony ship as a destination, but she was too miserable to dwell upon it at that moment. The important thing was that it was quiet and isolated, and if _she_ didn't know why she was there, the chances of somebody else guessing her location were minimal.

Even so, she didn't particularly want to hang around in the open, where any Earth creature could stumble across her in her emotionally vulnerable state, so she ran across the hill and into the cool darkness of the abandoned ship. Then she found a quiet corner in which she could curl up and cry.

Her tears didn't last long though and after a few minutes, her sniffles died away. Crying about things wouldn't make her any more useful, after all. Then she remembered how she'd once yelled at Steven that his emotions ruled out reason, and let out an involuntary giggle. Now _she_ was the one letting her emotions get out of control. No, if she wanted to be a real Crystal Gem, she would just have to find a logical way to prove herself. She would learn to summon a weapon, even if she had to dance like an entire forest, and she would be _the_ most trustworthy, _most_ useful gem she could possibly be.

She wiped her eyes, sighed deeply and hugged her knees for a moment, gazing into the darkness. She would stay here a little longer, and then go back and apologise for her-

There was a sudden skittering noise from the other end and Peridot went rigid. "H-hello?" she called.

There was no reply.

Peridot narrowed her eyes and let her gem glow. The green light shone through the darkness, lighting up the wreckage and casting gloomy shadows as she scanned the room. The skittering noise sounded again and she whipped her head around towards the direction of the sound.

 _Something_ moved at the very edge of her gem glow, too fast for her to see clearly. Remembering how helpless she'd felt against the fusion monsters in the kindergarten, her breath caught in her throat and she began to grope blindly at the floor behind her for some sort of weapon. A piece of metal piping nudged her hand and she wrapped her fingers around it. "Who's there?" she called out in a slightly more steady voice. "I'm warning you, I'm armed!"

"Hey, whoa, steady on!" Amethyst stepped out of the darkness with her arms held aloft in surrender. "It's just me and Steven."

"Hello," Steven added, peering around Amethyst's torso. "We came to see how you were doing."

Peridot exhaled in relief and let the metal pipe slip from her fingers. "I thought you might be- never mind." She climbed to her feet and self-consciously brushed debris from her form. "I'm doing much better now," she said eventually, not quite meeting their eyes. "And-and I'd like to apologise for my outburst back at the beach house."

"Hey, it's cool," Amethyst said comfortingly, crossing the weed-encrusted floor and leaning against the wall next to her. "Pearl brings out the worst in all of us sometimes."

"It wasn't Pearl's fault," Peridot muttered, staring at her feet. "My behaviour was inappropriate."

"But that doesn't make your feelings any less important," Steven said, coming to stand at her other side. "If you hadn't said anything, we all would've just carried on thinking you were happy hanging out at the barn all day."

Peridot mulled over that for a moment. "It's not that I'm unhappy, exactly," she said slowly. "I just feel…"

"Lonely?" Steven guessed. "I remember when the Gems used to go on missions without me," he said thoughtfully, remembering the days when he'd first moved into the beach house. He'd often woken up alone in the house, or been left alone while the other gems went on missions without him. "I didn't like it much either. One time I tried to make a Together Breakfast so we could all eat together like best buds, but that didn't end so well."

"Ohhh, you mean the one with the waffles and cream and stuff that tried to kill us?" Amethyst recalled in delight. "Yeah, that was pretty wild. You see?" she added, nudging Peridot with an elbow. "A little yelling's nothing compared to breakfast that bites back."

Peridot couldn't help smiling at that, but it was short-lived. "It's not that," she admitted. "I'm… concerned… that I might not be of any use to the team." She mumbled the last few words and Amethyst and Steven had to crane in closer to hear them.

"You mean because you don't know how to use your gem powers?" Steven asked without thinking.

"Whoa, seriously?" Amethyst asked, shocked. "Is that why you didn't bubble anything in my room? I thought you were just, like, being a diva."

Peridot groaned and buried her face in her hands. "Homeworld doesn't consider 'bubbling' a necessary skill for Peridots to master," she said, her words muffled by her hands. "And everything else I required was provided by my limb enhancers."

"She's trying though," Steven hastily added. "She'll get there."

"Yeah, of course you will," Amethyst agreed, and gave her an encouraging thump on the back. "Look at Steven, when he first moved in, we didn't even know if he _had_ gem powers. Now he's throwing shields and shapeshifting and floating like a pro. You just need a little training, is all."

Steven nodded in agreement. "And you can still come along on missions while you're learning, I'm sure the gems wouldn't mind. I went on missions all the time before I could even properly summon a shield. And you can already light your gem up and store stuff in it, so I'm sure you'll pick it all up super-fast!"

Peridot opened her mouth to admit that lights and storage were the very basics her inferior gem could manage and that she might actually not 'pick it all up' at all, but lost her nerve. If the others thought there was no hope of her developing any powers, they might change their minds. "I'll keep trying," she said instead.

"Awesome!" Amethyst cheered. "We'll help too. Us short gems gotta stick together, right?"

"Right. This calls for a Shorty Squad Group Hug!" Steven declared, and before Amethyst or Peridot could react, he moved in front of them and hugged them both tightly.

"OK, that's enough of that," Amethyst said eventually, pushing him away. "You squeeze any harder, you're gonna poof us both."

"Sorry." Steven let go and stepped back. "We should probably head back now." He turned to Peridot again. "We have all the weapons stacked by the warp pad in the battlefield, but we have to help bring them all back to the temple. Garnet said if you like, you can come back with us and maybe make a list of them all?"

"Thank you for the offer," Peridot said with a small smile. "But I think I would prefer to head back to the barn for now."

xXxXx

By the following morning, the plumbing work had all been completed, and Peridot was watching her shirts spin in the washing machine when she heard the distant chime of the warp pad. She poked her head out of the door and curiously watched the two figures approach.

"Oh, hello Peridot!" Pearl waved enthusiastically as she approached. "How are you?"

Lapis, who'd hung a few steps behind the other gem during the entire walk, rolled her eyes at Pearl's cheery demeanour. "I'm going to my room," she muttered, and took off into the air.

"She's not the most sociable gem, is she?" Pearl commented, watching Lapis disappear into the window. "Still, I suppose I can't really blame her."

"Why are you here?" Peridot asked without any malice, simply getting straight to the point.

Pearl blushed and rubbed the back of her neck self-consciously. "I wanted to apologise to you for the thoughtless way I spoke to you yesterday. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."

"Oh," Peridot began.

"But the fact remains that I _did_ hurt your feelings," Pearl continued. She hesitated for a moment before speaking again. "I was wondering... and I apologise in advance if this sounds patronising, but would you like to do some weapons training with me?"

"Oh," said Peridot again, pleasantly surprised. "Thank you. Um, yes, I would like to take you up on that offer."

"Wonderful!" Pearl exclaimed with relief. "I train Connie and Steven at the weekend, so would you like to come over tomorrow and join us? Say, about ten? Or," she suggested, realising that the other gem might not like an audience at her first lesson, "if you'd prefer, you can just watch their lesson to begin with and we can work together by ourselves a little later?"

"Yes, that sounds preferable," Peridot agreed happily. She had a sudden thought and gestured towards the interior of the barn. "While you're here, would you like to take a look at the renovations? I would appreciate your opinion on the kitchen appliances in particular."

"I'd love to," Pearl said with a smile. "And if you like, I could send some of the discarded parts back to Amethyst and free up some more of this space for you…"

xXx

Gee, I wonder what could be hiding in the shadows of that old ship? I don't know if I'll bring it up again, but I couldn't have Peridot go there without acknowledging the fact that Centi's crew are still waiting for their pilot.

Also: I drew cover art! Yay! Of course, I stupidly drew it in landscape format, so bits had to be chopped off. I'll be uploading the full version to Deviantart, along with an alternative picture I did before deciding it wasn't quite creepy enough.


	23. Peridot and the Peridots

Chapter Twenty-Three - Peridot and the Peridots

Lapis waited until she heard the distant sound of the warp pad signalling Pearl's departure before leaving her room. She flew out of the window and silently landed behind Peridot, intruding ever-so-slightly into the other gem's personal space. "What did _she_ want?"

Peridot jumped in surprise, much to Lapis's amusement. "Pearl has offered to give me some weapons training," she explained once she'd recovered. "I am… at a slight disadvantage without my limb enhancers."

"Oh, right." Lapis pursed her lips in thought and a plan began to form in her mind. "Are you _really_ going to take her up on it?" she asked, putting as much concern into her voice as she could muster.

"…Yes?" Peridot replied, looking puzzled. "Why wouldn't I?"

"Well…" Lapis let her voice trail off. "I mean, I don't mean to sound disrespectful, but… well… she's a Pearl. Wouldn't it make more sense to train with a proper soldier like Amethyst or Garnet?" she suggested.

Peridot furrowed her brow as she considered Lapis's words. "But that's _exactly_ why Pearl is the most logical gem for the task," she objected. "Peridots aren't soldiers either." She remembered how Pearl had once attacked her hologram, aiming directly for her gem, and shivered. "But I have to admit that despite her background, Pearl is a formidable warrior."

"You think so?" Lapis curled her lip in slight disdain. "I can't say I was impressed. Her moves were very predictable. Actually, I thought all the Crystal Gems were rather predictable. My water copies were easily able to match their moves- oh!" She snapped her fingers, pretending the idea had only just occurred to her. "I know who would be the perfect person to train with you!"

"Who?" Peridot asked cautiously.

"Isn't it obvious?" Lapis trilled. "It's _you!_ " She gestured towards the doorway and Peridot's jaw dropped in amazement as three figures stepped into the barn. Three figures that were identical to her in every way, except that they were made of water. "OK, so what sort of weapon do you think you'll have? A hammer?" She laughed and waved a hand. A small claw hammer appeared in the hands of one of the clones. "Hmm. That's a bit small." The claw hammer promptly morphed into a sledgehammer. "Or how about a sword?"

"I um, I really don't know," Peridot admitted as a sword appeared in the hands of the second clone. "I have given the matter a great deal of thought, but I don't really know exactly how this sort of thing is determined-"

"OK, how about, the last one just does punching?" Lapis suggested.

"Wait a second," Peridot said hastily as the third clone clenched their fists threateningly. "How, exactly, are these constructs going to be of assistance to me?"

"They're going to attack you, of course," Lapis said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. She flew into the air and landed on a beam as the clones took a step forward. "And then you should be able to, you know, instinctively summon your weapon."

"What!?" Peridot looked up at the other gem in disbelief, but there was no time to argue as the clones suddenly launched their attacks. "But I'm not sure- yeow!" The sledgehammer whistled through the air, right where Peridot's head had been a moment earlier. "-if I-" She jumped backwards to avoid the sword that swung in her direction. "- _have_ instincts!" A fist glanced off her shoulder and she stumbled backwards with a yelp.

"Sure you do," Lapis said dismissively. "You're doing fine." In fact, Peridot was doing far better than she'd expected. She'd half hoped the sword-wielding clone would run her through in five seconds flat, but of course, she supposed it made sense that Peridot would be good at running away. "Try summoning a weapon now."

"I _am_ trying!" Peridot squawked, patting frantically at her gem. Nothing happened, save for the fist-fighting clone managing to catch her exposed torso with a right hook, and Peridot crashed into the newly installed kitchen counter. "Ow." Then her eyes opened wide in fright as the sledgehammer swung down towards her. She managed to roll aside and the counter split in two with the impact. "Hey! I just varnished that!" she wailed. Then she was forced to dodge again as the sword fighting clone lunged in her direction. The point of the sword lodged in the floor and Peridot breathed a sigh of relief. It was short-lived, however, and the clone simply broke off the tip of the sword and swung the blade back towards Peridot, slicing the front of her uniform. "Ack!"

 _Hold back a little, Lazuli,_ Lapis told herself sternly. Watching Peridot get beaten up by her water clones was the most fun she'd had since… well, since she'd wrecked all her DVDs, but if the little gem got poofed, there would be annoying questions. "You can do it," she called down encouragingly. "Keep trying!"

But Peridot was finding that it was taking all her concentration to keep dodging all the attacks. There simply wasn't a spare moment to see if her gem was doing anything new. Even so, she half-raised a hand to it, but as soon as she did, the sledgehammer slammed into her chest, sending her flying across the barn, where she crashed through one of the support beams and a stack of boxes, which all came tumbling down on top of her head.

For a moment, there was silence. The clones stood still. Then Peridot's head appeared above the boxes. "Lapis, I am beginning to have second thoughts about this."

"You think Yellow Diamond has second thoughts?" Lapis retorted. The sword shot forward and stabbed the box just as Peridot ducked back out of sight. "Or Jasper?" she continued when the other gem reappeared for a moment before ducking back down to avoid another swing of the sword. "Or those weird monster gems the Crystal Gems keep fighting?"

Inside the mound of boxes, Peridot closed her eyes, trying to imagine that she was a tree. A tree that could punch really hard. But despite her efforts, her gem stayed stubbornly dull and unresponsive and she growled in frustration. "But this isn't work-eek!"

"Oh! I think I saw your gem twinkle!" Lapis lied shamelessly as the unarmed clone dragged Peridot out of the boxes by the scruff of her uniform and casually threw her back down to the other end of the barn. "Oh… no, actually, I think that might just be the light reflecting off it."

Peridot bounced off the barn wall and crashed to the floor with a pained groan. "Seriously, Lapis, can we-" She scooted backwards to avoid a flying elbow drop. "-please do this-" The sword narrowly missed her head, leaving a few wisps of blonde hair floating in the air. "-with fewer duplicates?"

Lapis pretended not to hear the other gem's request. "Try summoning a weapon now," she suggested instead. "Maybe it really was a twinkle." She stifled a giggle as once again, Peridot waved a hand ineffectually in front of her gem before she was forced to duck the sword, which sliced through another support beam instead of the little gem's neck.

 _Come on, Peridot, summon a weapon! Any weapon!_ Peridot thought to herself with growing frustration. She couldn't dodge the clones forever, and Lapis didn't seem inclined to stop them any time soon. She dived over the sledgehammer, which had swung in an arc towards her legs, and landed headfirst in her makeshift work area. For a moment, she was so preoccupied with trying to work out where the next attack was coming from that she didn't even notice the water pistol lying just inches away from her fingertips. But then her eyes widened with recognition, and she lunged for it, spun around and shot the advancing fistfighting clone in the chest. The force of the impact knocked it over backwards and she pumped her fist in delight. "Yes!"

Then the clone slowly sat up. The puddle of excess water was absorbed into its body and as Peridot watched in growing dismay, its arms and legs rippled, reforming into replicas of her old limb enhancers. "No!"

"Yeah, that probably wasn't your best idea," Lapis said conversationally. "Also, it's kinda cheating."

The three clones drew closer together and began to advance on Peridot, who retreated until she was backed up against the wall. "Wait-wait a second," she pleaded. "I can't-ack!"

Floating fingers shot out, wrapped around her neck and lifted her off the ground. The rest of the fingers snatched the pistol out of her hands and tossed it aside. Then the other two clones raised their weapons and began to slowly walk forward. Peridot struggled as hard as she could, but her legs were too short to reach any part of the clone's body, and she couldn't break its hold on her neck. She looked up at Lapis, silently begging for help, but the other gem just smiled back at her.

Would Lapis actually let these creatures destroy her physical form? At that moment, Peridot realised she quite honestly didn't know. She struggled harder. And still her gem did nothing.

Time seemed to slow down. Either that, or the clones were moving in slow motion in order to build up the tension, which, admittedly, was a real possibility. Peridot let go of the clone's arm with one hand and felt around for a loose board or, well, something, _anything_ she could use to break free.

The fingers began to dig into her neck and suddenly, there was a screwdriver in her hand. She had no idea where it had come from, and at that moment, she didn't care. She pulled back her arm to stab the clone in the arm, and then hesitated.

The clones were made of water. Stabbing them would be completely ineffective. The only way they were going to stop was if Lapis called them off. She didn't need to defeat the clones at all. She needed to defeat _Lapis._

Lapis was still smiling when the screwdriver whizzed past her ear and sunk into the wooden wall behind her with a resounding _thunk_. She slowly turned and stared at the tool for a few moments in disbelief. "Did you just…"

In her distracted state, the clones came to a halt, and Peridot finally managed to wrench the fingers away from her throat. She fell to the ground and quickly ducked beneath her immobile double's outstretched arm. "I'm sorry! I just-I can't do it!"

"Seriously? You actually threw that at me?" Lapis's smile was now a thin, brittle line as she slowly turned back around to look down at the other gem. "You could've… I can't believe you just did that."

"It wasn't working, and I needed to get your attention to make them stop," Peridot tried to explain, waving at the clones. "Of course, I made sure to aim away from your physical form."

"I see." Lapis clenched her fists tightly, struggling to keep her fury under control. "That's smart." She hated to admit it, but it was true - attacking her physical form was the most effective way to defeat the clones. But still, she couldn't quite believe Peridot had thrown a _screwdriver_ at her. She turned back around and took another look at it before yanking it out. At least two inches of the metal shaft had been driven into the wood and she shuddered. If that had actually hit her… "They weren't really going to hurt you, you know," she lied, turning back to face Peridot again.

"Y-yes… I know that," Peridot said hesitantly, giving the frozen clones a wary look. "But-"

"Maybe that's the problem," Lapis interrupted. She twirled the screwdriver in her hand, looking thoughtful. "Subconsciously, you know there's no real threat, so your gem isn't reacting like it should do."

"Er… I don't think that's-" Peridot began.

"Right, this time, they're not going to hold back." Lapis clapped her hands together and smiled a wide, fake smile that didn't quite meet her eyes. "Get ready."

Peridot opened her mouth to protest, but the words died on her lips as the forms of the clones began to ripple until suddenly, the water from two of them flowed into the third. Before her horrified eyes, the giant Peridot straightened up, clutching an axe in her floating fingers.

xXx

Dance like a Whomping Willow, Peridot! Dance!


	24. Downfall

Chapter Twenty-Four – Downfall

The axe whistled through the air, heading directly for Peridot's face. At least she'd die knowing what a multi-Peridot fusion looked like, she thought morbidly. There was no way she could fight it, all she could do was close her eyes and decide where she'd put a star.

"What the heck is going on in here!?"

All heads whipped around in surprise to look at the figure of Greg, stood in the doorway of the barn with a toilet in his arms. Distracted by his appearance, the giant water Peridot took a step backwards, mid-swing, and the axe zipped past the tip of the real Peridot's nose before slamming into the middle of the last intact support beam. Before anyone could react, there was an ominous creaking noise before all three broken support beams gave way and the upper level of the barn collapsed on top of Peridot.

"Oh my gosh, Peridot!" Greg shrieked. He dropped the toilet, ran over to the edge of the mess and began trying to heave the wooden boards out of the way. "Help me get this stuff off of her!"

"Right, yes, of course," Lapis said, flustered by the audience. She waved a hand and the Peridot clone absorbed the axe into its body, bent down and heaved at the platform. There was another creak and the platform snapped in half, slipping out of the clone's grasp. "Oops."

"We gotta get this stuff off first," Greg said frantically, and began tugging at the sofa, trying to pull it off of the shattered platform. "She could be-"

"I'm OK!"

The two of them froze as the muffled voice came from beneath the boards. Lapis's jaw dropped open in disbelief. "P-Peridot!?"

"I mean, I'm actually rather uncomfortable," Peridot continued, "but I don't think I'm in any immediate danger."

"W-what? How?" Greg shook his head. "Never mind. I think she's over here somewhere."

Lapis twitched her hands again and the clone's hands increased in size before grasping the edge of the platform again. This time, it was easily able to tip it aside, revealing Peridot curled up on the floor. As soon as she was free, she scrambled to her feet and ran to the middle of the barn, out of range of anything else that might come crashing down upon her.

"You're really OK," Greg marvelled. "I mean, I know gems are resilient, but…"

"Us Peridots are tougher than we look," Peridot said, looking smug. But the smug look quickly disappeared from her face as she turned and surveyed the damage. Her lovely new kitchen was spoilt; the counter was smashed in two and the microwave and toaster had been crushed by the fallen platform. Her multimedia sound system and duel-widescreen television had both been broken by the fall, and of course, her upstairs was now downstairs, in several pieces. She felt weirdly detached. So many of her things had been broken, she realised, she just didn't have the energy to be upset right now.

"Shame the barn isn't," Greg muttered. "Do you want a hand cleaning this up?"

"That's OK," Lapis said quickly. "We already have one." The water clone morphed into a massive hand and waved at him and she let out a nervous giggle. "Get it?"

Peridot laughed shrilly at that, but Greg just frowned. "Yeah… about that. Do either of you two want to tell me why a giant, water copy of Peridot was waving an axe around here in the first place?"

"Er…" Lapis's mind went blank; she hadn't planned for witnesses.

"We were training," Peridot responded, much to the other gem's relief.

"That's right." Lapis nodded vigorously. "I guess we got a little carried away. We'll train outside in future. So, um, why are you here anyway?" she asked, quickly changing the subject.

Greg waved over towards the toilet he'd dropped in the doorway. "My friend came by with a spare bathroom suite. I called Steven and he said you were both up here, so I thought I'd swing by and drop it off." He grimaced slightly. "I think I might have dropped it too hard."

Peridot immediately ran over to examine it. "It's cracked, but it's not broken," she said after a moment. "I should be able to fix it. Assuming I still have any materials left after I fix everything else," she mumbled under her breath.

"I have some duct tape you can borrow," Greg offered.

Peridot narrowed her eyes. "How much duct tape?"

He thought for a moment. "Like, a lot, I guess? I brought a job lot from the hardware store last time they had a sale." He glanced back over at Lapis, who was using several water hands to pull stuff off of the broken platform. "Hey, you wanna come back to the car wash with me and grab some?" he asked, turning back to Peridot. "I still have to bring over the bathtub anyway, it wouldn't all fit in the van. I'll even let you put the van through a wash cycle," he added slyly as she hesitated.

Peridot's eyes immediately lit up with glee. "Wow, thanks!"

A few minutes later, Greg had finished unloading the pedestal sink from the back of the van and opened the side door for Peridot to climb in. "We'll be back soon," he called to Lapis, who lifted a hand in acknowledgement before returning to her work.

Other than the rock beat sounding from the stereo, they drove along in relative silence. Peridot enjoyed watching the other cars drive past, working out their ages and models from the various identifiers printed on the chassis. Meanwhile, Greg mentally replayed the scene in the barn. There was something about it that bothered him, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. "So, uh, what kind of training were you two doing back there, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Hmm?" Peridot tore her eyes away from a particularly nice SUV to look at him. "Oh, with the water clones? Lapis was attempting to help me summon a weapon."

Greg furrowed his brow in confusion. "Wh-but you can already do that, can't you?"

Peridot flushed and turned back to look out of the window again. "No," she said shortly.

Greg winced, realising this was a sore point. "Sorry. I thought… I mean, Rose once told me you guys all pop out of the ground, knowing everything you need to know, so I just assumed…"

"She was correct," Peridot muttered, still gazing out of the window. "I was created with the knowledge I required to carry out my mission. That didn't include any information on how to summon a weapon. It was not considered necessary."

"Huh." Somehow that didn't seem entirely logical to Greg, but he didn't pry any further... at least, not until he reran the conversation back through his head and something jumped out at him. "Wait, _clones_? Plural!? There were more of those things!?"

Peridot nodded absently. "Three of them. After I evaded them, they combined into that oversized monstrosity."

" _Three_!?" Greg repeated in disbelief. "That's… wow," he said slowly. "I saw the Gems fight those things once, one-on-one - well, Pearl's split in two, but none of them fought _three_ at once _._ One was plenty." He frowned, remembering the fight on the ocean floor. "You know, none of the Gems could make a mark on those things. We were losing pretty badly until a shockwave from Steven's shield took 'em all out. You did pretty good, holding out against three."

"Really?" Peridot turned her attention back to him and grinned widely. "Nyeheh… I have to admit, I _do_ have a certain aptitude for evasion."

Greg chuckled at that. "I heard you gave the Gems quite the run around." His expression quickly turned serious again as he tried to think of some way to voice his concerns. "Listen, I know I'm just a human, I don't know a great deal about all this gem stuff, but maybe that kind of training is a bit… excessive? Like I said, none of the Gems could take out those things, and you were up against three of them while you can't summon a weapon? That doesn't sound like a safe learning environment."

"It wasn't," Peridot said dryly. "Lapis hypothesised that exposure to a serious threat might help to trigger a weapon."

"Did it?" Greg asked with concern.

Peridot snorted. "Evidently not." She wasn't really surprised though, she'd been exposed to plenty of serious threats since being deprived of her limb enhancers, and she still didn't have a weapon. Well, other than the screwdriver she'd thrown at the other gem. She still couldn't remember picking it up.

xXxXx

Aided by several watery limbs, Lapis worked quickly to repair the barn platform. It wasn't exactly how she'd planned things, and part of her still boiled with resentment over Greg's interference. She needed to make this look like an accident and the best way to do that, she decided, was to act genuinely remorseful by at least making a start on repairs.

And she'd learned something useful from the encounter - Peridot was smarter and sturdier than she looked. She twirled the screwdriver again before tossing it aside. She'd have to be careful not to underestimate her again.

xXx

Greg to the rescue!

So, a couple of people have been concerned that this is all dragging out too long, why haven't any of the other gems noticed what's going on and why hasn't Peridot realised she's being messed with. Thing is, in-universe, it has actually been less than a week since the pool party (it probably feels longer because none of these characters ever sleep). Most of Lapis's bad behaviour takes place when they're alone - I think this is actually the first time anyone else has witnessed any of it, and Greg doesn't think it's his place to interfere beyond what he's already doing. As for Peridot, she doesn't seem to have had any friends before coming to Earth, not even Jasper, and let's be honest, the gems didn't do a great job of showing her how friendships work (and I doubt CPH is much better on that score either). All of Lapis's more obvious abuse has been framed to make it look like she's doing Peridot a favour and Peridot has no reason to think she might not be sincere. As far as she's concerned, all she did to Lapis was question her and bring her to Earth, a journey that wasn't supposed to end with them all stuck there. She did far worse to the Crystal Gems and _they_ were able to forgive her.

But anyway, after nearly being caught, Lapis is going to hold back for a bit and other events are going to take place over the next few chapters, so it's going to be at least another eight-ten chapters before any sort of confrontation takes place.


	25. If You Go Down To The Woods Today

Chapter Twenty-Five - If You Go Down To The Woods Today

"Ta da!"

Greg and Peridot froze in the doorway as Lapis landed on the ground in front of them, arms outstretched in welcome and a wide grin on her face. Then Peridot took a closer look at the barn interior and smiled back. "You repaired the platform!"

"That's right!" Lapis said, injecting her voice with all the enforced cheer of a children's television presenter. "I put all your stuff back up there and fixed the kitchen counter too!"

Peridot's smiled wavered slightly as she looked at the kitchen counter, which had a badly cut plank patching the two halves together, but she valiantly bit back her criticisms. "Thank you," she said instead, internally vowing to fix it properly as soon as she could.

"It's the least I could do," Lapis said demurely. "After all, I'm the one who broke it. And I'm sorry about that." She fixed the other gem with an earnest gaze, careful not to look in Greg's direction in case she appeared insincere. "I was just so excited to help you!"

"Well, I appreciate that," Peridot said, cautiously stepping underneath the platform. She examined the repairs and quickly deduced that they were adequate for the time being, although she'd have to reinforce the support beams in the near future. "I think for the time being though, it would be best if I trained with Pearl."

"Yeah, that's fair enough," Lapis agreed. "But hey, once she's trained you up, you're welcome to practise with the water clones, any time. Outside," she added with a small smile.

Peridot forced out a laugh, privately vowing to never fight the water clones ever again if she could help it, whether they be inside, outside or in antigravity. "We should bring the bathtub in now," she said, changing the subject. "As the upper level is back where it belongs, I can get straight to work plumbing it in."

"Do you want a hand with that at all?" Greg offered. "I don't have a great deal of experience with plumbing, but I did install Steven's bathroom."

"I can help too," Lapis added immediately. "If I hold back the water, that should make things easier, right?"

Peridot nodded. "That would be immensely helpful, yes. Very well!" She clapped her hands authoritatively. "I accept your generous offers of assistance!"

With three pairs of hands, one of which could stop water, the work was quickly completed, until all that was left to do was build a wall around the newly plumbed-in bathroom suite. "I based it on the bathroom back at the beach house, although of course, that one lacks a Jacuzzi," Peridot was saying as she measured boards for a fourth time to make sure they were all still the right length. "As he spends so much time expelling, I thought it best to make sure the design was somewhat familiar."

"It looks good," Greg said encouragingly. "I think Steven's going to like it." He began gathering up the few tools he'd brought in to help with the job. "I'd better head back to town now, it's getting on a bit."

Peridot glanced up from the tape measure. "Thank you for the help."

"And the duct tape," Lapis added, tearing off a strip and wrapping it around one of the support beams to reinforce her earlier repairs.

After he'd left, the two gems continued to work for a while. After measuring the boards a sixth time, Peridot finally accepted that all the boards were correct and they began putting the walls up.

"Hey, Peridot?" Lapis said, breaking the silence. "It's still daylight, when we're done here, do you want to go back into the woods and look for your beads?"

xXxXx

"I think it was around here?" Peridot turned in a slow circle, trying to find something recognisable. "I'm sure I recall finding the 't' bead near that bush."

"OK," Lapis said vaguely. She was more interested in looking at the different leaves than anything else, but every now and then, she gave the ground a cursory glace, just in case. She knew that even if she did look properly, it was highly unlikely they'd find any more beads.

Just as she comforted herself with that thought, Peridot suddenly pounced on something in the undergrowth and screeched in delight. "Look Lapis, look! I found an 'o'!"

"Huh." Lapis peered down at the bead in Peridot's outstretched hands in surprise. "That was lucky."

"Lucky!? Pah!" Peridot scoffed, popping the bead into her gem for safekeeping. "Lucky had nothing to do with it. While I was recapping events in my dairy, I had the idea to calculate the likely distribution of the beads, factoring in our approximate speed, distance from the ground, and air resistance, and taking into account the locations of the beads we _did_ find," she explained with a smug smile.

Lapis frowned slowly. "You worked out where your beads fell? That's uh, that's certainly something."

"I know, right?" Peridot said gleefully. "Obviously there is a small margin of error, but I believe I've managed to calculate a fairly close approximation of where to find them."

"That's great!" Lapis lied. "So where's the next one?"

Peridot scanned the area critically and then pointed into the trees. "It should be somewhere in that direction. Follow me."

Lapis did as she was told and watched in amazement as Peridot strode confidently through the woodland, stopped, and began to look closely at the ground. A few seconds later, she held another bead aloft. "I found the 'r'!"

"Wow." Lapis forced a smile onto her face. "You really did it. I'm impressed," she grudgingly admitted.

"That's five beads we've found now," Peridot said happily. "That's more than half of them! If we can find the other four, I'll be able to repair the bracelet and Steven will never need to know it got broken. Come on!" she ordered, plunging into the undergrowth. "The next one should be this way!"

This time, however, Lapis was prepared. As soon as Peridot stopped again, she began looking as well, desperate to find the next bead before the other gem did. She finally spotted it, half-hidden beneath some leaf mulch. Pretending to help search, she poked it into the ground until it was hidden from sight. "I don't see it," she said, straightening up.

"I don't either." Peridot looked up at the surrounding trees and did a few mental calculations. "It's possible it ricocheted off of one of these trees. Let's try over there."

They spent half an hour checking several other possible locations before Peridot admitted defeat and moved on to the next bead. This time, Lapis wasn't so lucky, and Peridot found it first, but she was able to hide the final two beads before the other gem could find them. The sun was beginning to set by this point and as visibility fell, Peridot reluctantly gave up. "I'll have to recalculate," she grumbled as they began heading back to the barn. "I'll add the locations of the three beads we did find, that should help to narrow things down."

"But hey, look on the bright side," Lapis said encouragingly. "You have six beads now, that's two-thirds. I'm sure we'll find them next time."

It was a filthy lie, and Lapis fully intended to dig the beads up and put them in a safe place as soon as she was alone, but Peridot looked reassured and began to chatter away about her remaining plans for the barn. Lapis smiled and nodded as best she could, but by the time they got back, she was heartily sick of the sound of the other gem's voice.

"-and I can then use the remaining wood to construct a small fence around the garden," Peridot finished happily.

"Yeah, that's a great idea," Lapis agreed. She had no idea what Peridot had been talking about and she didn't particularly care either. "I'm gonna head up to my room now, OK? I'll see you tomorrow."

She took off before the words "OK, see you tomorrow" had finished coming out of Peridot's mouth, and flew in through the window. Then she sagged onto the floor and groaned with relief. "I'm sure she didn't talk this much on the ship," she muttered after a moment, climbing to her knees and removing the cushions from her window seat. The lid came off a moment later and she carefully took out the bubbled gem hidden in the hollow. "What about you, hmm? Did you find her annoying too?"

Of course, there was no answer from Jasper, but Lapis continued to talk to the other gem anyway. "Today was fun though. I made her fight my water clones." She laughed at the memory. "You should've seen her face! It was hilarious! But then Greg showed up and I had to play nice. I suppose it was for the best though, I _was_ getting a bit carried away. It would've been a bit awkward to explain if her physical form was destroyed; she's supposed to be training with Pearl tomorrow." She narrowed her eyes thoughtfully. "It's weird she can't summon a weapon though. Do _you_ know what that's all about?"

She paused as if waiting for a reply. "You're no help," she muttered after a few seconds of silence, and placed the bubble back in the hollow next to the other objects hidden there. "And yet, somehow, you're still a better conversationalist now than you ever were before."

xXx

That's harsh, Lapis.

Anyway, while I was uploading this weeks chapters, I realised I'd titled them both as 'Chapter Twenty-Five' which means I've actually written a chapter more than I thought I had. Which means I have enough chapters for the next three weeks rather than the next two-and-a-half. Hooray!


	26. Fight Club

Chapter Twenty-Six - Fight Club

"Good morning!" Connie greeted, pushing open the door to the beach house.

"Hey Connie," Steven replied. He popped a bookmark into the book he was reading and stood up, ready to begin training.

"Ah, wonderful, you're right on time." Pearl glanced over at the warp pad. "Now I hope you don't mind, but I invited Peridot along to our training session today."

"That's OK," Connie said cheerfully. "I was hoping to see her today anyway. We have a quiz to do."

"She should be here any-"

Pearl's words were cut off by the chime of the warp pad, and a moment later, Lapis and Peridot appeared in the room, the latter dressed in a horrible neon orange dress Amethyst had obviously stolen from the beach during the 80's. "I'm here, we can begin!" Peridot declared as Lapis raised a hand towards Steven in greeting.

"Excellent." Pearl clapped her hands together. "Steven, Connie, let's go." She walked over to the warp pad and waited expectantly for Lapis to step off of it. When nothing happened, she cleared her throat pointedly. "Excuse me, Lapis."

"Why, what have you done?" Lapis asked immediately.

Steven couldn't help giggling and Pearl flushed slightly. "Could you please move off of the warp pad now?" she asked stiffly. "We'd like to be on our way."

"Oh!" Lapis laughed. "Actually, I was wondering if I could watch too?"

"Well…" Pearl said slowly. "That's really up to Connie and Steven-"

"Yay, Lapis is coming with us!" Steven cheered before Pearl could finish talking.

Pearl looked over at Connie, whose smile seemed slightly strained. "What about you, Connie?"

Connie forced her smile a little wider. "Sure, I guess that's OK. What's one more person, after all?"

xXxXx

"Hah!"

"Oh, excellent work!" Pearl cried as Connie jumped off of Steven's shield and sliced a holo-Pearl in two. "Connie, your footwork is much better today."

Lapis leaned over Peridot's shoulder. "What do you think?" she asked quietly.

Privately, Peridot thought the holo-Pearls were almost as horrible as Lapis's clones, but she didn't think that's what the other gem meant. "About what?"

"About _them_." Lapis nodded at the two youngsters.

"They're very good," Peridot said honestly. "Obviously they'd be no match for Homeworld's armies, but they'd probably survive for a short period." Longer than _she_ would, that was for sure.

"Hmm." Lapis turned her attention back to the fighters for a moment. "I think she's holding Steven back. Sure, she's got the sword," she explained as Peridot turned to her, confusion on her face, "and that means she can help to defeat the holograms, but Steven can destroy them with his shield anyway. Except he's so distracted trying to protect her that he doesn't. It leaves him at risk. And if she gets disarmed, they'll be at an even bigger disadvantage."

"I guess? Maybe?" Peridot shrugged. Although she was pretty sure it would take a lot to disarm Connie, she knew she didn't know enough about fighting to argue with Lapis, so she let the other gem carry on talking.

"Do you think he trains with the rest of the Crystal Gems too?" Lapis spoke again after a moment. "He must do," she added, mostly to herself. "It makes sense. He's far more likely to go into battle with them than with _her_." She fell into silent thought as she watched the two children battle.

After all of the holograms had been defeated, Pearl stepped into the middle of the arena, a proud look upon her face. "That was wonderful work, you two. You may both choose a prize from the Pearl Prize Pouch before you return to the beach house."

"I choose the googly-eye glasses," Steven said immediately.

"Aww, I wanted those!"

"You already _have_ glasses."

"They don't google though," Connie complained. "They don't do _anything._ I don't actually know why I still keep them."

"Why don't you take turns wearing the ah, googly glasses?" Pearl suggested diplomatically. "And I'll make sure to restock the Pearl Prize Pouch with another pair for next time."

"OK," the two said in unison. Moments later they started towards the warp pad; Steven wearing the googly-eye glasses and Connie with a fetching fake handlebar moustache.

Lapis stood up abruptly. "I'm going to head back with Steven," she said to Peridot, and flew off after the other two.

The warp pad chimed and Connie, Steven and Lapis vanished, leaving Pearl and Peridot alone. "Ready?" Pearl asked.

Peridot gulped and slowly stood up. "I-I don't have to fight those holograms, do I?" she asked.

"Well, I suppose you don't have to if you don't want to," Pearl conceded. She walked towards the middle of the arena before turning back to face the other gem. Then she screwed up her eyes and looked away. "Actually, before we begin, could you take off that dress? It genuinely hurts to look at you."

Peridot scowled, but did as she was told, tossing the dress back onto the stone steps surrounding the arena. "Better?"

"Much," Pearl said with relief. She waited for Peridot to join her, then struck a pose. "When I first joined Rose Quartz, I had difficulty summoning a weapon too. Of course, like all gems, I was created with the ability to do so, but few Pearls were actually given the opportunity to wield a weapon, and even then, it was usually for performance purposes rather than combat," Pearl monologued, entirely oblivious to Peridot's growing look of concern. She projected a hologram of a tree and gestured towards it. "I would have preferred to do this with the actual tree, but there was… an incident."

Peridot's eyes widened in recognition. "Is this the bit where you dance like a tree? I have made an attempt at doing so, but a demonstration would be extremely helpful."

Pearl looked blankly down at her. "Dance like a… oh honestly, Steven!" She groaned and massaged her temples. "That's not-that's not how it works. Pay attention to the petals!" She waved a hand at the holographic petals floating towards the ground. "Their dance _seems_ improvised, but it is being calculated in real time based on the physical properties of this planet. With hard work and dedication, you can master the magical properties of your gem and perform your own dance." She paused and frowned. "Now that I think about it, that _does_ actually sound an awful lot like dancing like a tree." She shook her head to dismiss the though. "Never mind. Observe closely." Then, with a dramatic flourish, she closed her eyes and pulled her spear out of her gem. "See?"

"That's it?" Peridot was deeply unimpressed. "Where was the dancing? You didn't dance at all!"

"You don't _literally_ have to dance," Pearl said irritably. "It's a metaphor."

"What does _that_ mean?" Peridot asked.

"It means… well…" Pearl gave up. "Never mind. Let's start by activating your gem…"

xXxXx

An hour later, both gems were about ready to throw themselves off of the arena with frustration. Peridot was drenched in sweat and her head ached from the effort of trying to force her gem to produce a weapon, and Pearl was muttering under her breath as she tried to think of some tactic they hadn't tried yet. "OK, so maybe-"

"This clearly isn't working," Peridot interrupted. "Why don't I just _make_ a weapon?"

Pearl frowned. "Because a physical weapon is fundamentally inferior to a personal weapon formed from your own gemstone?"

"But you're teaching Connie to use a sword."

"Connie is not a gem-"

" _Rose Quartz's_ sword," Peridot pointed out. "If _she_ can use a sword, why can't I use…" She thought for a second. "A portable blast cannon?"

Pearl opened her mouth to object and then closed it again. She wanted to point out that Rose Quartz had used a shield as well, but overall, she had to admit, it was a fair point. "You'd still need training to fight with it," she warned. "I remember when you first tried using that arm cannon against us at the Galaxy Warp, the recoil took you entirely by surprise. You need to be familiar with your weaponry if you want to join us on a mission."

"I can do that!" Peridot wiped the sweat off her brow and stood up a little straighter, some of her enthusiasm returning. "I could build one tonight and return to train again tomorrow?"

"Well, I'd need to double-check with Garnet, but sure, that should be all right." Pearl smiled down at the little gem, amused by her eagerness. "Now, would you like to choose a prize?"

"Don't patronise me!" Peridot snapped. Then she paused in thought. "Do you happen to have another moustache?"

They warped back to the beach house to see Connie sat alone at the kitchen counter, fiddling with her phone. "Where's Steven?" Pearl asked immediately, looking around to try and spot her baby.

"He's on the beach with Lapis." Connie gestured towards the doorway. "She said she wanted to show him something on the ocean floor. Do you wanna do that quiz now, Peridot?"

Peridot's eyes lit up and she joined Connie at the counter. Meanwhile Pearl stepped outside and scanned the beach for Steven. It wasn't difficult to see where he and Lapis had gone; instead of unbroken waves crashing upon the shore, there was now a path cutting through the water, curving gently around the cliff and out of sight. Pearl bit her lip and wondered whether she should go and investigate, but just as she thought that, the distant figures of Steven and Lapis appeared, heading towards the shore as the path disappeared behind them.

"Pearl! Did you know there's a giant sword out there in the ocean?" Steven called as soon as he was within earshot.

"Yes, Steven," Pearl replied, ruffling his curls. "It belonged to the temple statue."

"I saw it when Malachite pulled Jasper into the ocean," Lapis explained. "Then when we gathered up all those weapons, I remembered it and thought we'd better check on it. I didn't know it was made of stone."

"Even if it wasn't, I think it might be a little too big even for Jasper to manage," Pearl chuckled and stood aside to let them enter the beach house.

"Sad Waffle?" Peridot was saying as Steven approached. "That's _nothing_ like my previous answer." She narrowed her eyes at Connie. "You know, I'm beginning to think these tests aren't actually an accurate method of measuring my personality."

"They can be," Connie protested. "But yeah, mostly they're just for fun."

"Hi Peridot. Nice moustache." Steven leaned over the counter to look at Connie's phone. "Oh hey, Sad Waffle! That's a good one. I got Sniffling Croissant."

"I got Glum Glass." Connie frowned down at her phone. "Actually, I think you're right, Peridot. This one isn't very accurate." The phone suddenly buzzed in her hand, momentarily startling her. She quickly swiped across to answer the call. "Hi mom! No, you just made me jump… uh-huh… uh-huh… OK, I'll see you soon." She disconnected and stood up. "My dad's gonna be here to pick me up soon. Let me give you those DVDs before I forget."

"Are all citizens issued with these communicators?" Peridot asked, following Connie over to the sofa where she'd left her bag. Lapis followed at a slower pace.

"You mean my cell phone?" Connie rummaged around in her bag and pulled out The Life Of Birds, Frozen Planet and Life In The Undergrowth. "My parents got it for me for my eleventh birthday. Most people have one, but they're not um, issued or anything, you have to buy one. Here."

"Thank you." Peridot accepted the DVDs and placed them into her gem. "It looks like a fairly simple piece of technology. Would you mind if I took a closer look at it to see how it functions?"

"Er…" Connie glanced at Steven for help.

"You can look at mine if you like," Steven said quickly, handing his phone over. "It was used when Dad brought it, so it doesn't really matter if you void the warranty."

"I have no idea what that means," Peridot said placidly. She switched the phone off and began pulling the back cover off.

"It means…" Steven's voiced trailed off as she pulled a small set of precision tools out of her gem and carefully began dismantling the case. "Uh, if you break it, the company won't fix it." He gulped as she pulled the circuit board out. "But um, I'm sure that won't be a problem, right?"

"Wow!" Peridot exclaimed.

"What?" Connie, Steven and Lapis replied in unison.

"This is archaic!" Peridot held up the EMI shield and cackled with laughter. "Look at this thing! I don't even think Homeworld used stuff this basic when _you_ first came here, Lapis!"

Lapis pursed her lips, but kept her mouth shut and watched as Peridot rapidly reassembled the cell phone, switched it on and began flicking through the settings.

A knock on the screen door distracted them all. Connie grabbed her bag and straightened up. "That's my dad, I gotta go."

"Same time next week?" Pearl asked.

"Absolutely." Connie grinned up at her. "How about you, Peridot? Are you going to watch us again?"

"Absolutely," Peridot mimicked. She thought about the weapon she planned to make and smiled widely. "Maybe I'll even join you."

Steven gasped. "Really!?"

"I think that may be a little presumptuous – hello, Doug," Pearl warned as she opened the door for Connie to leave. "Connie and Steven have had an awful lot more combat training than you have."

"Hey, I've had _some_ experience," Peridot objected.

"I'm sure she'll be great," Steven said quickly, before Pearl could put her feet in her mouth again. "Right, Connie?"

"Yeah," Connie agreed. "She was really good in that water pistol fight we had."

Pearl rolled her eyes at the smug expression on Peridot's face, but wisely decided not to argue any more. Instead, she stood quietly behind Steven and Peridot as they waved goodbye to Connie until she was completely out of sight.

xXx

I'm pretty sure there was no metal up there in the arena, which is why Peridot still has no clue about her metal powers. There's not a lot of information about Pearl before she joined the rebellion, so I guessed she was probably made with the ability to summon a gem, but didn't get much chance to do so. I can definitely imagine Gem high society watching Pearls fight for fun either as decorative performance pieces or Gladiator-style fights to the death.

Anyway! Did you know there really is a giant sword out on the sea floor? You can see a glimpse of it in Bubble Buddies, and it shows up again in Ocean Gem.

And finally, I drew the three Pearl Prize Pouch Participants with their prizes, mostly because I wanted to draw Peridot's awful dress. Link is on my profile!


	27. Phone Me Perhaps

Chapter Twenty-Seven – Phone Me Perhaps

It was several minutes before Steven remembered his cell phone. "Are you done with my phone yet?" he asked Peridot.

"Yes, I have all the data I need to replicate my own communicator." She waved back towards the sofa where Lapis was sitting, gazing serenely out of the window. "I left it over there."

Steven strolled across the room. Then he paused, a look of horror dawning on his face, and lunged for the device. "Peridot, what did you do to my phone!?"

"I… took it apart and put it back together again?" Peridot looked bewildered. "You saw me do it."

"What's wrong?" Lapis asked, tearing her eyes away from the window.

Steven held it up so that they could both see the stock logo on the screen, a loading bar beneath it. "It's resetting!" he wailed. "It's wiped off _everything!_ All my contacts, my ringtones, my pictures…" His eyes widened in realization. "My Crying Breakfast Friends custom stickers! Peridot, how could you!"

"What?" Peridot snatched the phone out of his hands. "I didn't do this!"

"You must have pressed something when you were in the settings," Steven snapped, snatching it back.

"But I _didn't,_ " she protested. "I _looked_ at the settings, that's all. I didn't _touch_ any of the buttons."

"Maybe you did it by accident when that other human came to collect Connie?" Lapis suggested. "You might have pressed something without looking."

Peridot bit her lip. She hated to admit it, but it was a possibility. "That must be what happened," she said slowly. "I'm sorry, Steven. Is there any way I can I can help to repair your communicator?"

Steven sighed. "It's OK, most of the data's backed up in the cloud anyway. On the internet," he added quickly as Peridot and Lapis both looked out of the window at the sky.

"Are you sure?" Peridot asked, turning back to him. "I haven't rendered it inoperable?"

The phone rebooted in his hands and he began tapping on the screen to begin the setup process. "No, it still works fine. I mean, it's a little annoying having to set it up all over again, but it'll be OK." He glanced up at her and felt a surge of guilt at her subdued expression. "Sorry, I shouldn't have yelled at you. It was an accident."

"I accept your apology," Peridot replied, looking a little more cheerful. "And I'm going to head back to the barn now, I have a lot of work to do. Are you coming, Lapis?" she said hopefully.

"Nah, not yet. I'm gonna hang out with Steven a little longer," Lapis said dismissively.

"I'm probably not going to be very good company," Steven warned, glancing up from the screen. "It's gonna take me a while to set up everyone's ringtones again."

"That's OK, I don't mind," she said with a smile.

Peridot took a hesitant step towards the warp pad. "Are you sure? We could watch one of those documentaries Connie loaned us."

Lapis glanced in her direction. "No, I'll stay here for now and let you have some space so you can work in peace." She smiled again. "I'm sure you'll be able to work much better without me getting in the way."

"Aww, Lapis, that's so considerate," Steven cooed, and Peridot, who'd opened her mouth to protest, quickly closed it again.

xXxXx

Meanwhile, Pearl had retreated to her room in the temple, and was busy reorganizing the fountains to make room for the battlefield weapons when Amethyst suddenly floated past. "Hey P!"

"Wh-Amethyst, get out of there at once!" Pearl scolded. "Do I go into _your_ room and interfere with the structural makeup of it?"

Amethyst raised an eyebrow at her. "Um, yeah? Like, all the time?"

Pearl tossed her head dismissively. "The garbage is not part of the structural makeup of your room."

"Some of the really old stuff is," Amethyst argued as she pulled herself out of the water. "Like there's that cool statue I found in Greece a couple of thousand years ago. I think if I move her now, half my room will cave in. I'm serious!" she added at the other gem's look of disbelief. "I accidentally broke her arms off a couple of years ago and half the wall fell down!"

" _Why_ exactly are you in my room?" Pearl asked, exasperated.

"We just wanted to hear how it went today, training Peridot."

Pearl frowned. "We?"

A moment later, Garnet's head broke through the water. "We."

"Oui oui!" Amethyst laughed.

Garnet ignored her. "Was she able to summon a weapon?"

"No," Pearl said with a sigh. "It's-"

"Did you tell her the petal thing?" Amethyst quickly interrupted. Pearl scowled at her and she gasped in mock disbelief. "I simply cannot _believe_ that the petal thing, once again, did not work! I'm shocked! Shocked and stunned! Shocked and stunned and surprAAAH!"

"Please continue," Garnet said, resolutely ignoring Amethyst as she spluttered and splashed in the water.

"Well, as I was saying before I was so _rudely_ interrupted," Pearl said, shooting a glare in Amethyst's direction, "it's really quite puzzling. I mean, I wasn't expecting results immediately, it took _me_ at least three attempts before I was able to form a corporeal weapon-"

"Gosh, _three_ attempts?" Amethyst said with wide-eyed innocence. "As many as that!? No, I refuse to accept that perfect Pearl didn't-"

"I can push her in again if you want," Garnet offered.

"Three attempts," Pearl continued through gritted teeth. "I remember it clearly. It was a sword, and it dissipated almost immediately. But with Peridot, there was nothing. She didn't even seem to know anything about the basic physics involved. Really, I don't know _what_ they teach gems on Homeworld these days."

"Well, she _is_ a technician," Amethyst said with a shrug. "I guess they just didn't think it was something she needed to know."

"It was something she needed to know when they sent her _here_ ," Garnet pointed out. "I know they sent Jasper along as her escort, but it would've been sensible to teach her how to arm herself with her gem as well, instead of relying on the cannon in her limb enhancers."

"You did literally have to crush her physical form to disarm her though," Pearl pointed out. "A gem weapon wouldn't have helped her at that point."

"And you know what?" Amethyst added. "It wouldn't surprise me if those limb enhancers could be blown up remotely, like that communicator. So if an enemy got hold of them, Homeworld could just like, BAM!" She pounded a fist into her palm for emphasis. "Or, y'know, if a gem showed any sign of rebellion, the Diamond's could take her out without having to go anywhere near her."

There was an uncomfortable silence after that thought.

"Probably a good thing I chucked 'em in the ocean after all," she eventually added.

"You're probably right," Garnet admitted.

Pearl decided it was time to change the subject. "We plan to continue with the training, but until she can summon a gem weapon, Peridot has proposed that she build a physical weapon to work with. She intends to come over tomorrow and train with it."

"That's cheating," Amethyst objected.

"As she so astutely pointed out to me, Rose had a sword, so we're really in no position to object," Pearl said with a wry smile.

Garnet chuckled at that. "She's got us there."

xXxXx

"Tada!"

Lapis gingerly took the wrapped gift from Peridot's outstretched hands and tore the paper off. The object that fell into her hands appeared to be a communicator device, similar to Steven's. "It's a cell phone, right?" she asked, just to be sure.

"That's right," Peridot replied proudly. "It'll send and receive audio and visual messages. I've already programmed it with several useful numbers," she said, taking it back and tapping at the screen. "See, there's Garnet, Steven and uh, Gregandme."

Lapis frowned. "What was that last one?"

"Um, Greg… and me." Peridot smiled nervously up at her. "I made one for myself too. That way, if you're not here and you need to send me a message, you can. If you want. You don't have to, of course, if you're too busy. But if you did want to, you can!"

"I see." Lapis took the phone back and looked down at the screen. "That's… useful."

"And it does other stuff too!" Peridot hastily added. "I copied a number of other functions from Steven's device. See," she said, reaching up and pointing at the screen, "there's a GPS and a calendar, and a screen here that shows you the weather." She began to fidget. "Do you like it?"

"Yeah, it's great," Lapis said, trying to sound enthusiastic. A cell phone was definitely a useful gift, but it was still a gift from Peridot and accepting it made her stomach squirm. But for now at least, she would simply have to do so.

"Excellent!" Peridot beamed. "I'm planning to make one for Steven as well; I noted several flaws in the design of his current phone that I believe can be easily eliminated, so please let me know if you encounter any problems with yours."

"Sure, no problem," Lapis said indifferently. She gestured towards the water pistol and the miscellaneous electronic components scattered across the kitchen counter, which she noticed had been freshly repaired. "Is that what you're making now then, Steven's phone?"

"No, I need to acquire another toaster first." Peridot picked up a screwdriver and began swiftly dismantling the water pistol. "I'm now working on converting this water pistol into a portable blast cannon. I did consider modifying the one I affixed to the drill, but it was too badly damaged after the Cluster mission. Some of the parts may still be of use, I suppose," she added mostly to herself.

"You're making a weapon? A physical one?" Lapis took another look at the items on the countertop. "What about your training with Pearl?"

"We will still continue to work on summoning a gem weapon," Peridot said confidently. "But in the meantime, we agreed that it would be a sensible idea if I were to bring another weapon to training."

"I see." Lapis briefly wondered whether she could sabotage the blast cannon when it was completed, but immediately dismissed the idea. She just didn't have the technical knowledge to do it safely without blowing her face off. "I'll leave you to it then."

Peridot snapped her head away from the blaster to look beseechingly at the other gem. "You don't have to go, I don't mind if you stay."

Lapis opened her mouth to make an excuse, and then hesitated. Maybe she should keep Peridot company for a little while. "All right. I'll just go and get my book," she said instead. After all, she could afford to be generous with her attention after the trick she'd pulled with Steven's phone.

xXx

Gotta admit, that random little bit of spite was inspired by our recent attempts to find a phone for Blue that could run Pokemon Go. Battery issues, sim card issues, and on one occasion, we were sent a phone that turned out to be rooted. In the end, I wound up giving her my phone and brought a new one for myself instead. I must have set up the dratted things about six times. And then she used up all her data in three days, watching YouTube videos. Argh!


	28. Target Practice

Chapter Twenty-Eight – Target Practice

"Pew pew pew!" Peridot spun around and fired her blaster at the third and final holo-Pearl. "Ka-pew!"

"DEFEAT ACCEPTED!" the hologram declared before it flickered and vanished.

Pearl clapped her hands together. "Very nice work, Peridot. If I might offer one small criticism though, during an actual mission, it may be wise to keep the ah, sound effects to a minimum."

"Pah!" Peridot scoffed. "You're one to talk! You forget, I have seen you Crystal Gems in action. Discretion and subtlety are not your strengths."

"Really?" Pearl raised an eyebrow. "This from the gem who built a robot with rockets in the butt? Let's move on to the next stage," she quickly added before Peridot could argue any further. "I'm going to fill the arena with clouds now, to obscure your vision. You will need to rely on your other senses in order to hit your targets. So you may find it easier to pick up audio clues if you keep the sound effects to a minimum," she concluded with a small smile.

Peridot rolled her eyes slightly, but smiled back. "Ready when you are."

Clouds rolled into the arena and in seconds, Peridot could barely see her hands in front of her face. She narrowed her eyes behind her visor and began to carefully inch forward, listening intently for any sign of the holo-Pearls she knew were out there.

Of course, this turned out to be a lot more difficult thank she'd originally anticipated, because the holograms moved almost completely silently. In fact, it was the flicker of the spear in the corner of her vision that alerted her to the presence of the first holo-Pearl rather than any sound. She spun on her heel, almost tripping over her own feet in the process, and shot it in the chest with a quiet "pew pew".

"DEFEAT ACCEPTED!" the holo-Pearl shouted and Peridot sighed. What was the point of whispering her shots if the defeated holograms were just going to alert the others to her location anyway?

Sure enough, seconds later, she heard the faint whistling sound of a spear heading her way. She dropped to the ground and fired a shot back in the direction in had come from. "DEFEAT ACCEPTED!" came the shout from within the clouds.

Peridot climbed back to her feet and moved slowly forward, looking for the last hologram. Then she paused. Where was the edge of the arena? She turned again, looking for something to orient herself, but there were no visual clues at all, just clouds. She huffed quietly with annoyance and after a moment of thought, decided to stay put and wait for the holo-Pearl to find her instead. The last thing she wanted to do was fall off of the arena.

There was a faint noise to her left and she immediately turned and fired.

"Not at me!"

There was a clang as the lasers ricocheted off of Pearl's spear and Peridot winced. "Sorry!" A moment later, something hit her in the chest and she looked down to see a spear sticking out of her body. "Oh bother."

"CHALLENGER DEFEATED!"

The clouds vanished and Pearl strode down the steps towards her. "Well, you're dead. How does it feel?"

Peridot waved a hand through the spear. "Unpleasant."

"But does it hurt?" Pearl persisted.

"It's a peculiar feeling, but not a painful one," Peridot decided after a bit of thought.

"Oh good." Pearl sighed with relief and the hologram vanished. "I've been tinkering with them to make them a bit more… user-friendly, but so far, Connie and Steven have managed to avoid being hit and I was a little worried that when they did, it might damage them. I'm glad to hear they're functioning as intended."

Peridot frowned at that. "Wait, you mean they could've actually killed me? You said they were harmless!"

"They wouldn't have killed you," Pearl calmly corrected. "I removed that feature some time ago. But there was a very small chance that they would hurt you."

"You never told me that, you clod!" Peridot was outraged; the only reason she'd agreed to fight the holograms in the first place was because Pearl had assured her they were soft light and unable to harm her. "I wouldn't have fought them if I'd known!"

"Really, Peridot!" Pearl said, exasperated. "I asked Garnet for her opinion before I even allowed Connie and Steven to fight against them, and she concluded that the chances of something going wrong were so low, she could only see it happening in a single one of the billions of futures available to her!" Then her expression softened at the mutinous expression on the other gem's face. "I'm sorry, I didn't realise it was that important to you. And anyway," she added brightly, "you still did remarkably well. You were able to hit every stationary target and every moving target, the only reason you slipped up with that last one was because you were distracted. It happens to the best of us." She smiled wryly. "Believe me, I _know_."

Peridot looked taken aback by the praise for a moment, then a broad smile appeared on her face. "So… my performance impressed you?"

Pearl hesitated. "You did better than I had expected," she finally admitted, after deciding it was probably for the best if she didn't mention that she'd actually half expected Peridot to fall over and shoot herself in the foot. She'd almost forgotten that before the other gem had become their prisoner and then their ally, she had been a terrifying opponent who had bested them on several occasions. Of course, it was difficult to take her seriously now when she was half the size she had been previously; a quarter of the size when running on all fours.

"So do you think Garnet would allow me to take part in future missions?" Peridot asked eagerly.

"Well, obviously I can't speak for Garnet," Pearl said. "All I can do is give her my opinion, and I still don't think she would be comfortable with you joining us on the search for Jasper. However, I really don't see any reason why you can't join us the next time we need to capture a corrupted gem. You're quite capable. You just need to keep training." She smiled down at the other gem. "And I'm sure next time, you'll be able to defeat every single one of my holo-Pearls."

xXxXx

"How's the view from up there?"

Steven carefully examined the ground below before replying. "All clear here too," he spoke into his phone.

Down at ground level, Garnet nodded, despite knowing full well that the boy couldn't see her do it. "Tell Lapis to head east, we'll check that area next."

"Will do." He disconnected and tapped Lapis on the shoulder. "Garnet says to head east."

Lapis tiled her head to look at him. "I don't know where that is."

"It's um…" Steven thought for a second. "The sun rises in the east." He glanced up at the sky, where the sun hung overhead. "I don't know either," he admitted and began tapping at his phone again. "Good thing there's a compass on my phone. Thataway!" he declared, pointing to his right.

Lapis nodded in acknowledgement and they began to fly in their new direction. "All I see is strawberries," she said after a few minutes. "What about you?"

"Yeah, I don't- wait! Over there!"

Lapis hovered in place and looked in the direction Steven was pointing. Sure enough, the sunlight was gleaming as it reflected off a weapon in the middle of the bushes down below. "Nice catch."

"Let's go down and see what it is," Steven said.

"I have a better idea," Lapis said with a mischievous smile. She flipped Steven over her head and grabbed him by the arms, then circled around until they were directly above a giant strawberry. Then she let go. "Bombs away!"

Steven screamed, half with terror, half with delight, knowing he could slow down the speed of his descent if he wanted to, but enjoying the thrill of the uncontrolled fall. He hit the strawberry with a meaty _splat_ and sunk halfway down into its sweet flesh. "That was _so cool!_ " he crowed, pumping his fists in the air.

"The judges give you a seven-point-two," Lapis joked as she landed next to him. "Now let's see what you've won." She strode over to the bushes where they'd seen the weapon. From this vantage point, it was almost impossible to see, which explained how they'd missed it the first time. She reached deep into the branches, pulled out an ancient spear and handed it to him. "Pointy."

"Whatcha got there?" Amethyst hollered from some distance away and Lapis grimaced slightly as Steven waved the spear aloft in demonstration. She enjoyed this mission so much more when it was just her and Steven. At least her two least favourite gems were otherwise occupied.

"Wouldn't it be cool if it used to be Pearl's?" Steven said, climbing out of the strawberry as Amethyst approached.

"Nah, can't be. It's not fancy enough." Amethyst shapeshifted into a tall, ornate spear and stood next to Steven. "See? Not nearly enough unnecessarily twiddly bits to be Pearl's."

"Twiddle yourself some arms and take that back to the warp pad," Garnet ordered with a smile. "We'll be heading north now."

"Right-o, Captain Garnet sir!" Amethyst sprouted a pair of ornate arms and saluted wildly. She took the spear from Steven and wobbled away on tiny, twiddly feet in the direction of the distant warp pad.

"This is the last bit," Garnet said, turning to look at the strawberry field that stretched out before them. "Once we're done, there won't be so much as a butter knife for Jasper to arm herself with."

"So what happens next then?" Steven asked, wiggling his toes to dislodge the strawberry pulp there. "Are we gonna keep checking back here for Jasper?"

Garnet shook her head. "No. Once she sees the weapons have gone, she'll move on."

Steven frowned at that. "Where to?" he asked uneasily.

"There are many places on this world she could decide to move on to," Garnet admitted. "It would probably be more efficient for us to remain at the temple and wait for her to approach us. After all, we may not know where her base is, but she knows where _ours_ is."

"Is… is that safe?" Steven asked, looking worried. "What if she shows up while you guys are all on a mission or something?"

"I'd know," Garnet said simply. It was the truth too; whenever she was forced to leave Steven alone, she would focus on his immediate future to ensure his safety. While she didn't know where Jasper was at that moment in time, she knew with absolute certainty that if the other gem came for Steven, she would be ready for her. She smiled down at the boy. "Don't worry, Steven. We'll catch her eventually."

"If it helps, I can keep you company when the gems are away," Lapis offered. "If she comes near the beach house, I'll take care of her. See?" She waved a hand, drawing all of the moisture out of the crushed strawberry, and formed a small water copy of Jasper. "Look, I'm Jasper! Grr, argh!" Then as Steven and Garnet watched, she formed a bigger, watery hand and punched the tiny Jasper into the sky. "Help, help, aaaaah! Team Jasper's blasting off again! I should never have tried to take on the magnificent Lapis Lazuli!"

Steven laughed, but Garnet frowned as her eyes followed the small clone across the sky. "Why do I get the feeling you're not taking this entirely seriously?"

Lapis stiffened. "I take the subject of Jasper very seriously," she said frostily. "Or did you forget what she did to me?"

Garnet frowned. "If you are referring to Malachite, then no, I have not forgotten the circumstances surrounding her creation."

"Oh, look over there!" Steven hastily cut in before things could turn nastier. "It's Amethyst, back already!" He began to jump up and down, waving frantically at the purple speck in the distance. "Hi, Amethyst!"

Evidently realising she was needed quickly, Amethyst spin-dashed back to the little group. "What's up? You find a knife and fork for me to get rid of?"

"We haven't actually resumed the search yet," Garnet admitted.

"Yeah, I figured as much. No eyes in the sky." Amethyst nodded at Lapis and Steven. "So what's the hold up? Just waiting for me?"

"We were just talking." Garnet didn't bother elaborating. "Let's get back to work."

"Come on, Steven," Lapis muttered. She knelt down to let him climb onto her back again, and then flew off into the sky.

"What crawled up her butt?" Amethyst asked, watching the pair circle above them. "I mean, I know she's always a downer to be around, but she seemed cheerful enough five minutes ago."

Garnet frowned as she watched them too. "Jasper."

"Jasper's way too big to fit up her butt," Amethyst said immediately and cackled with laughter at her own joke. "Aww, come on Garnet," she pouted as the other gem continued to stare impassively up at the sky. "That was funny."

"Hmm." Garnet abruptly yanked her gaze away and stared across the battlefield instead. "Come on. I'm sure there's a scythe around here somewhere and five eyes are better than three."

Amethyst stuck a finger into the dried, smushed strawberry and absently licked it. "Even when one of those three has future vision?"

"I don't need future vision to tell me you'll throw up if you try and eat all that strawberry."

Amethyst's eyes lit up at once. "Challenge accepted."

xXx

Pew pew!

I must admit that "Team Jasper's blasting off again!" was not a line I originally wrote, but when Blue was reading this chapter, she said that when she read that part and it made me laugh so much, I had to put it in.


	29. The I In Team

Chapter Twenty-Nine – The "I" In "Team"

Later that evening, Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl gathered in the Burning Room to talk. Or to be more exact, Garnet and Pearl talked while Amethyst rolled on the floor and moaned in agony. "It huuuuurrrrrrrts," she whined.

"Three hundred pounds of dehydrated strawberry will do that," Garnet said calmly.

"This is all your fault, Pearl," Amethyst whined.

Pearl rolled her eyes. "Please, do explain the logic behind that."

"It's obvious, isn't it? If you hadn't been training Peridot, you would've been with us." She burped and groaned in pain. "Ow. And if you'd been with us, you would've stopped me from eating it. Ergo, your fault."

There was a moment of silence as the other two gems thought that over. "Well," Garnet said eventually. "She's not wrong."

"I refuse to take the blame for your lack of self-control," Pearl said firmly.

"So how did it go, training Peridot?" Garnet asked, changing the subject.

"She was actually very good," Pearl admitted. "She defeated all but one of my holograms."

"She didn't shoot her own arm off at all?" Amethyst checked. "Not even a pinky finger?"

Pearl shook her head. "All of her shots were on target. The last hologram got her when she confused me for one while her vision was impaired."

"Wait, she shot _you?_ " the purple gem cackled with laughter at that until her stomach cramped again. "Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow."

"She shot _at_ me," Pearl corrected with a roll of her eyes. "Obviously, I was able to deflect the blast."

Garnet held a hand out in Amethyst's direction. "That's one Renaissance painting you owe me. Pay up."

"She said the last hologram got her," Amethyst protested, waving a hand in Pearl's direction.

" _She_ has a name," Pearl grumbled.

"The bet was just that Peridot would injure herself," Garnet said, ignoring Pearl. "Not that she'd be injured by any other means. Pay up."

"Ugh, _fine,_ " Amethyst groused. "But you know I know you used your future vision to cheat at this." She waved her arms in the air for a moment and then dropped them to her sides with a sigh. "You may have to roll me to my room."

"So… what do you think?" Pearl asked as Garnet began to roll Amethyst along the floor. "She's very eager to accompany us on a mission. I told her you probably wouldn't be comfortable with her joining us on a search for Jasper, but could she come along on a simple retrieval mission perhaps?"

Amethyst burped again, which propelled her ten feet across the floor. "Or we could do a test again? Not at the Sea Spire this time, obviously. Or maybe at the Sea Spire?" she added thoughtfully. "I mean, it's not like she needs to breathe."

"I don't think that will be necessary," Garnet replied. "We know Peridot is capable of taking care of herself. And she proved herself during the Cluster mission. Actually…" She hesitated for a moment. "I'm a little more concerned about Lapis Lazuli right now."

As she'd expected, the other two gems froze in place and stared at her with surprise. "Why, what's the problem?" Pearl asked.

"Her attitude," Garnet said simply. "Haven't you noticed? She's hostile to everyone except Steven. I had hoped she'd be more at peace with herself after taking revenge on Jasper, but she's still holding onto a lot of anger and resentment. It's not healthy."

"She seems to be getting along OK with Peridot though," Amethyst said slowly. "She showed us that phone she made for her, remember?"

"And Peridot told me that Lapis had offered to help her with her training," Pearl added.

"So maybe it's just us she hates?" Amethyst suggested. "She _was_ trapped on Earth for thousands of years because of us." She paused to burp again. "Plus she was stuck in Pearl's head for who knows how long. That's a scary place, it's bound to mess a gem up."

Pearl blushed. "I didn't know she was in there."

"So?" Amethyst waved her arms in the air for emphasis. "Maybe that makes it worse. None of us bothered to talk to her in that mirror. She could've been freed years ago if we had. Well, not really, 'cause we would've just bubbled her." She thought for a moment. "Man, no _wonder_ she hates us. I kinda hate us too."

"But if she's accepting Peridot's offers of friendship, that's a good sign," Garnet said, rolling Amethyst across the floor again and dismissing some of the more troubling future visions she'd seen. "Perhaps we ought to do something too, to show her she's welcome."

"Oh, how about a small party?" Pearl said brightly. "To welcome her into the Crystal Gems? Peridot too! I could make a pie."

"I like that idea," Amethyst agreed. "That's a good idea." She suddenly narrowed her eyes at Pearl "Where did _you_ get that idea?"

"I remembered Steven's birthdays. And that gathering we had on the beach with the Pizza family. Oh, and that time we met with Connie's parents," Pearl recited, ticking each event off on her fingers. "Humans use social gatherings as bonding opportunities; I thought it seemed appropriate to do the same."

Garnet nodded slowly. "We can do that. I'll meditate tonight and see if I can find a suitable mission for everyone to take part in. Then we can celebrate our first successful mission as a team afterwards."

xXxXx

"Lapis! You need to come over here right now!"

Lapis, who'd been leisurely reading 'Larry Porter and the Chamber of Mystery', jack-knifed upright at the urgent tone in Steven's voice. "What's wrong?" she asked sharply.

There was a brief silence on the other end of the line. "Um, nothing?" Steven said, sounding a little embarrassed. "Garnet just told me to call you guys and tell you to come over as soon as possible, that's all."

"Oh." Lapis relaxed slightly. "Did she say why?"

"Um, possibly?" She could almost hear him shrug. "I was playing a game and I kinda zoned out, sorry. You're still gonna come over though, right?" he added a little anxiously.

"Sure, if _you_ want me to," she replied.

If Steven noticed the subtle emphasis in her words, he didn't comment on it. "Great!" he said instead. "I'll call Peridot as well. See you soon!"

Lapis ended the call, marked her place in the book and put it back on the bookshelf. Then she jumped out of the window and landed in front of the barn's open doors just in time to hear the tail end of Peridot's phone call.

"-be there at once." Peridot dismissed the call and began walking towards the ladder that led to Lapis's room. Lapis cleared her throat loudly and smirked as the other gem jumped in surprise. "Ah, there you are," she said once she'd recovered. "Steven has requested that-"

"-we go over to the temple as soon as possible," Lapis finished. "I know, Steven already called me first," she said a little smugly, even though she knew it was simply because her name would be listed first in his contacts list.

"Well then, as you're here, let's proceed at once," Peridot declared, and began marching towards the warp pad. "So, did Steven tell you the purpose of this gathering?" she asked as Lapis began walking beside her.

Lapis hesitated. She was fairly sure she could work out why they had both been summoned and it was deeply tempting to pretend she was privy to information Peridot didn't have. But there was always a chance she was wrong, so she shook her head. "No, he didn't know. I guess maybe they've come up with a mission you can do," she suggested. "Do you have your blaster?"

"Of course," Peridot said, smugly waving towards her gem. It glowed briefly and she pulled out the weapon. "Tada."

"Great!" Lapis said brightly. "Maybe one day you'll be able to do that with a _real_ weapon. A gem weapon, I mean," she quickly amended, watching with amusement as Peridot's face fell.

"There's nothing wrong with my weapon," Peridot pouted, putting it back in her gem.

"Oh yeah, no, I'm sure it's _great_ ," Lapis said dismissively. She stepped on to the warp pad before Peridot could say anything else and a moment later, they materialised inside the beach house.

"Excellent, you're here," Garnet said, standing before them with her arms folded.

Lapis nodded briefly at her, then smiled widely at Steven, who was standing at the kitchen counter behind her, shoving food into his backpack. "Hey there, beach summer fun buddy!"

"Hi Lapis, Peridot," Steven greeted, zipping the bag up as Amethyst and Pearl glanced at each other, noting the way Lapis had dismissed their leader. "Are you ready?"

"Ready for what?" Peridot asked, stepping off of the warp pad.

"We're going on a mission," Garnet stated.

"All of us!" Amethyst added happily.

"As a team," Pearl finished. "The Crystal Gems!" And the three of them struck a dramatic pose.

"Oh! I need a star!" Peridot exclaimed, and hopped back onto the warp pad. "I'll be right-"

"You can borrow one of my shirts," Steven interrupted before she could finish. Everybody watched in awe as he raced up the stairs to his room, grabbed a clean shirt and rejoined the group, all in three seconds flat.

"You're getting fast," Garnet commented, ruffling his hair.

"Can I borrow one as well?" Lapis asked hopefully as Peridot began pulling the shirt over her head.

"Nope, no time," Amethyst said at once, and shapeshifting her hands larger, began pushing everyone towards the warp pad. "They won't fit you anyway."

Lapis opened her mouth to argue, but the words died on her tongue as Steven slipped his hand into hers. "It's OK, you're already wearing your bracelet anyway," he whispered with a smile.

"Yeah, you're right," Lapis conceded.

The group crowded onto the warp pad in an uncomfortable huddle. Amethyst grumbled as she found her face squished into Pearl's armpit, Lapis wobbled on the edge as she tried to avoid any part of her body coming into contact with the other gems, and when Peridot turned around to face away from Garnet's butt, she accidentally poked Steven in the eye with her hair.

"Maybe we should split up," Pearl suggested, gently pushing Amethyst away until she slipped off of the warp pad entirely.

Garnet considered this for a moment. "I have a better idea." She stretched out her arms, grasped Steven and Peridot by their collars and lifted them onto her shoulders. Steven squeaked in delight, while Peridot simply froze, quite sure this was highly inappropriate but far too scared to move in case she toppled off. As if sensing this, Garnet wrapped her arms around their legs to make sure they were secure. "There."

"OK, but it's only fair if I get a piggyback on the way back," Amethyst said, climbing back onto the pad. Now there was a little more room for everybody to stand comfortably, Garnet activated the warp pad and the group vanished.

xXx

And they were so close to being properly suspicious! But to be fair, as Amethyst pointed out, Lapis does have good reason to be extremely hostile towards the CGs, so all she has to do is be marginally nice to Peridot while they're all together and it looks like progress.


	30. No Business Like Snow Business

Chapter Thirty – No Business Like Snow Business

"Brrrr." Steven shivered and cuddled up to Garnet's fluffy hair as they materialised in the middle of a snowy plain. "Where are we?"

"North," Garnet explained simply. She reached up and placed him and Peridot on the ground. "Now aren't you glad I told you to change your shoes?"

"What is this strange substance?" Peridot asked, tentatively poking a toe into the snow.

Steven grinned. "It's snow! You've seen it on Camp Pining Hearts, remember?" He bent down and began making a snowball. "When it gets really cold, instead of rain, the water freezes and makes snow instead." He straightened up, tossing the snowball from hand to hand. "And when it snows a lot, it all stays on the ground like this. It's great fun to play in, see?"

He drew his arm back and threw the snowball at a nearby tree, only for Amethyst to leap into the air and catch it in her open mouth. "Ish fun to eat too!"

Pearl grimaced. "That's disgusting."

"It's only a problem if it's yellow snow," Amethyst said serenely, flopping backwards into the snow to make a snow angel.

Lapis held out a hand and a chunk of snow rose in the air. "I don't often see water in this form," she commented. "Just solid or liquid. This is all… fragmented."

Amethyst threw a snowball at her and she dropped the chunk of snow with a yelp. "It still makes a really _cool_ weapon!" the purple gem joked.

"Yeah, you're right." Lapis smiled grimly at the other gem. "I gotta try that too." She wiped the snow from her body and held out her hand again. This time, a snowball bigger than Amethyst herself floated into the air and began heading her way.

"That's cheatin'!" Amethyst hollered, sprinting for the trees. "Garnet, tell her!"

"That's cheating," Garnet repeated, making no move to help her.

Steven suddenly gasped and clapped his hands together. "Let's build a snowman!"

"What's a snowman?" Peridot asked curiously.

"It's a man! Made out of snow!"

Lapis paused her snowball in mid-air as she turned her head to look at him. "You can make _men_ out of _snow_?" she asked in amazement.

"Not real men!" Steven laughed. Then he stopped and frowned. "Actually, I guess that's a fair question, I did make watermelon Stevens after all…"

"I don't recall Rose having any power over snow, so I think you're safe," Pearl reassured him. "Right, Garnet?"

Garnet nodded. "Right. You go ahead and make as many snowmen as you want."

Pearl looked a little worried. "Do we have time for that? What about the mission?"

"Hmm." Garnet adjusted her shades. "You go ahead and make a maximum of three snowmen," she amended.

Steven spent the next few minutes showing Lapis and Peridot how to properly roll the snow into balls that could then be stacked to make a very basic humanoid form. Amethyst searched among the trees for suitable sticks to make the arms and Garnet found a pile of stones which Pearl then began to meticulously sort by shape and size.

"See, the sticks look like arms, and then you use the stones to make the face," Steven concluded. He gave the snowman a wide smile and stepped back to assess his handiwork. "Tada!"

"It still doesn't _look_ much like a man," Lapis said after a moment. "But it was fun."

"We really should put a hat and scarf on it," Steven said critically. "They say 'clothes maketh the man', after all."

"I'm gonna make him a snow bro, for company," Amethyst decided. "Come on, Peri, let's get rolling."

"Let's make another one too, Steven," Lapis suggested. "Garnet did say three."

Garnet nodded. "I did say that."

"It doesn't have to be a snow _man_ this time though," Steven said. "We should make a snow pet for them, like a dog or a cat or-"

"-A lion?" Pearl teased.

Steven's eyes lit up. "A lion! Come on, Lapis, we gotta build a snow lion!"

Lapis began rolling snow. "How do we make it into a lion?" she asked.

"We'll roll two balls, and make one of them more kinda oval. But instead of stacking them up, we'll put them next to each other," Steven explained. "Then we can put sticks around the neck to make a mane."

"If you use branches from the pine trees with the needles still attached, it'll look bushier," Amethyst pointed out. She pushed her snowball into position next to the completed snowman. "OK, that looks good. Bring that one over here too, P-dot."

Peridot began obediently rolling her snowball over and Amethyst heaved it on top of the base. "Shall I begin looking for sticks for the arms?" she asked.

"Yeah, sure." Amethyst took a couple of stones from Pearl and began pushing them into the snowman's face. "Gimmee a sec and I'll come help. We'll grab some for Steven's lion's mane while we're at it."

Finally the snowmen and snow lion were complete and the team stood back to examine their handiwork. "They look good," Garnet said. "Great teamwork." She pulled Kofi's old cell phone out of Ruby's gem and took a quick photo. "But now we ought to…" She trailed off. Steven was shivering, his clothes damp and cold from playing in the snow for so long. "Hmm. Steven!" she said abruptly.

"Ye-ye-he-es?" he stuttered through chattering teeth.

She smiled down at the boy. "You look like you need a warm hug."

Suddenly her body glowed and split in two and when the light faded, Ruby and Sapphire stood there. "Literally!" Sapphire laughed.

Ruby opened her arms wide and Steven stepped into her embrace. Immediately, steam began to rise from his clothing and the snow beneath them began to melt a little. "Better?"

"Much better," he said with relief. "Are you two staying?" he added hopefully.

Now that his clothes were all dry and toasty, Ruby stepped back to stand beside her other half. "We'd love to," Sapphire said. "But Ruby doesn't cope well in this sort of environment. Or rather," she clarified, "this environment doesn't cope well with Ruby."

Ruby glanced down at the growing puddle of water at her feet and grinned guiltily. "Oops."

"But you'll come back soon and visit?" he asked with a small pout.

The pair laughed as they reached for each other. "We promise," they said in unison.

Then there was another glow of light and Garnet stood there once again. "All right, let's get moving!" she said in an authoritative tone. "This way. There's a network of tunnels and caves about a mile away, that's where we'll find our corrupted gem."

She turned and began striding through the snow. Then she stopped, turned back and picked up Steven and Peridot again, who were both struggling to walk in the deep snow.

"What about me?" Amethyst whined. "I've only got little legs too!"

"I could give Steven a ride," Lapis offered immediately. "Then you could sit on Garnet's shoulder instead."

"Oooh, or _you_ could give me a ride instead," Amethyst said, her eyes gleaming.

Lapis shook her head. "Steven's easier to carry."

"Whaaaaaaat!?" Amethyst looked incredulous. "How would you even _know_? You've never given me a ride before-whoa!"

"For goodness sake, _I'll_ carry you," Pearl snarled, dropping Amethyst onto her own shoulders.

With that, Garnet and Pearl began walking while Lapis flew beside Garnet's right shoulder, where Steven was sat. It didn't take them long to find the caves Garnet had mentioned and once they had walked inside, the snow began to disappear from underfoot. As soon as she could feel solid ground beneath her feet, Garnet placed her two passengers back on the floor.

"Thank you," Peridot said, a little stiffly. She was quite sure she could've managed the walk, but she had to admit Garnet's way had been more efficient, if a little undignified.

Steven, of course, had no such reservations and hugged Garnet's legs tightly. "Yeah, thanks Garnet, that was great fun!"

"You weren't bad either, P," Amethyst said encouragingly to Pearl and resisting all efforts to be removed from the gem's shoulders.

"If you don't let go right now, I will not be carrying you back," Pearl warned.

Amethyst thought for a moment. "What if you just carry me half-way back? Can I stay on for another ten minutes?"

"No! Get off me!"

Ignoring the fight beside her, Garnet lit up her gems and shone the lights towards the end of the cave. "This way."

Once Pearl had successfully pried Amethyst off, the six figures walked deeper into the caves. Sunlight faded fast behind them and Pearl and Peridot lit up their gems too. The quiet talk between them petered out the darker it got, and they began listening intently for the threat they knew lay somewhere up ahead.

Suddenly Garnet stopped. "The tunnel splits in two here. I don't know exactly where the gem is so we'll need to split into two groups too."

Steven gulped apprehensively. "Whu-what if we get lost?" he asked. "And-and wouldn't it be safer to stay together anyway?"

"All the tunnels are connected. It's inevitable that we'll run into each other at some point," Garnet said. She reached down and ruffled his hair. "Besides, there's barely room to move with all of us together like this. It makes fighting pretty tricky."

Lapis, who'd been fairly quiet throughout the journey so far, finally spoke up. "Who's in each group?" she asked, not quite wanting to ask outright if she could stay with Steven.

"Hmm." Garnet gazed at others for a moment. "Steven, Lapis, you're with me."

"So that leaves me with the P's," Amethyst crowed. "We're gonna find that corrupted gem first and kick your butts!"

Peridot laughed and Pearl rolled her eyes, not quite able to hide the small smile twitching at the corners of her mouth. "Honestly, Amethyst, it's not a competition."

Amethyst grinned. "We're still gonna win though."

"Come on," Garnet said, before things could escalate. "Let's go." She led her group down the right-hand tunnel and soon the light from the other group faded and disappeared.

"How are the renovations going over at the barn?" Steven asked after a few seconds of silence. "Dad said he helped you guys install the bathroom."

Lapis hesitated. Had Greg mentioned the destruction caused by the clones? Better to assume he had, she decided. "We had a small setback," she admitted, without going into further details. "But it's going well. We're going to put the walls up around the sleep chamber soon, but Peridot wants to check our supply of wood first."

"So I could come and have a sleepover next week?" Steven said hopefully. "And we could watch Season One?"

"That's up to Peridot," Lapis quickly replied. "But I don't see why-"

She stopped as Garnet had come to a halt. "The tunnel splits again here," she informed them. "We'll have to split up as well."

"You go with Steven," Lapis said at once. "I'll be fine."

Behind her visor, Garnet blinked in surprise. "Are you sure?"

"You won't be able to see though," Steven objected. "Your gem's on your back."

Lapis smiled down at him. "And yours is covered by your shirts," she pointed out. "Stay with Garnet, she'll keep you safe." She lit up her gem anyway, stepped into the left-hand tunnel before he could argue any further, and began walking.

"Is she gonna be OK?" Steven asked in concern, watching the blue light fade into the distance.

"She'll be fine," Garnet said comfortingly. She pointed up to the roof of the tunnel. "See all those icicles? If she finds the corrupted gem first, the caves are full of weapons she can use against it."

Reassured, Steven allowed himself to be led into the other tunnel. "So what exactly _is_ this corrupted gem we're looking for?"

"Well." Garnet chuckled. "Believe it or not… it's a Jasper. Not _that_ Jasper," she quickly clarified as Steven opened his mouth, " _a_ Jasper. She's taken refuge somewhere in these caves, but we'll find her."

xXxXx

Lapis flew through slowly through the caves, careful to avoid the icicles that hung from the roof. Steven was right; her gem really wasn't in the best position to light her path, but the icy walls reflected just enough light for her to see where she was going.

She would've preferred to explore the caves with Steven, of course, but she suspected that this mission was not just a test for Peridot, but for herself as well, and it would look much better if she volunteered to take the path alone. Besides, she reassured herself, Garnet had said all the tunnels were connected. She'd run into Steven again.

Meanwhile, Peridot, Amethyst and Pearl had just arrived at another junction in the tunnels. However, unlike the others, this one split into four branches, and for several seconds, they simply stood there in silence.

"Well," Pearl said eventually. "As none of us is a fusion, we will simply each have to take a separate tunnel to explore. If we happen to meet up with one another, we can backtrack and explore the final tunnel."

Amethyst glanced quickly in Peridot's direction. "Maybe me and P-dot should stick together," she suggested. She hated the thought of leaving the other gem to fend for herself on her very first retrieval mission, but as soon as the words left her mouth, she could see Peridot stiffen in outrage.

"If Garnet had intended for us to stay together, she would've stated as much," Peridot said firmly, folding her arms for emphasis. "So I will be exploring a tunnel by myself." She strode towards the third tunnel.

"Oh, I was gonna take that one," Amethyst said at once.

Peridot stepped back again. "Then I shall take that one." She pointed to the second left entrance.

Amethyst sucked in a breath. "Ooh. Ooooh. Ooooooooooh, actually, that one's looking pretty good too. I wanna take that one."

"You can take this one," Pearl said firmly, and pulled her over to the far left tunnel. "Go."

Amethyst rolled her eyes, but did as she was told, yanking down the front of her shirt so that her gem could glow more clearly. Pearl gave Peridot a nod and entered the second left tunnel, leaving Peridot to take her pick from the two remaining. For a brief moment, Peridot wished she'd stuck with Amethyst after all, but she steeled herself and stepped into the third tunnel.

xXx

It took every ounce of my self-control to not have Steven sing "Do You Wanna Build A Snowman."

So! A Jasper! In the North! I actually hadn't thought about what monster I wanted for this mission and I was all set to make one up, then I realised Gem Hunt isn't going to happen here, what with Jasper being otherwise occupied, so why not send the gang up north to hunt down the snow beast?

And wow, I gotta get a move on with some more writing. When I started posting this, I had about ten chapters written so I could keep up a regular posting schedule, but now I have... four. And a cold that is sucking all my motivation away. Of course, it would probably help if I didn't keep drawing art for it, like I did for this chapter. Link, as always, is in pieces on my profile.


	31. Alone Together

Chapter Thirty-One – Alone Together

Garnet gave the junction a filthy glare from behind her shades. She already knew what Steven was about to suggest and she didn't like it one bit.

"We should split up," he said anyway, just as she knew he would.

"I don't like this," she admitted. "There are too many tunnels; I can't pinpoint it's location."

Steven though for a moment. "Do any of the tunnels have dead ends?"

Garnet shook her head. "No. They all have many junctions and intersections and all loop back into one another."

"So… if any of us were to find the monster, there's plenty of escape options," Steven pointed out. He gave her a reassuring smile. "It's OK, Garnet. I have my shield, I'll be fine." He pulled his cheeseburger backpack off and rummaged around in it for a moment before pulling out an object. "See, I have a flashlight too, so I can see where I'm going," he added proudly. "Oh! And walkie talkies!" He handed one over to her. "I don't think there's any cellphone reception down here," he explained, "so if I find the Jasper first, I'll call you, OK?"

"OK, sweetie." Garnet smiled down at him, reassured by his foresightedness. Still, she had a quick look into his future, just to see which tunnel was least likely to lead to danger. "I'll take this tunnel, you take that one. And stay safe, OK?"

"I will." He gave her a quick hug and then disappeared into the tunnel. She watched the light from his flashlight grow smaller as it bounced off the walls before turning to face the other tunnel.

"Just us now," she murmured.

As she walked, she listened intently for any sound, either her friends or the corrupted gem. For several minutes, there was nothing but the sound of her own footsteps, but then she became aware of a faint pitter-patter. She paused and listened harder. Too light to be Amethyst or Steven, too heavy to be Lapis's bare feet. And a little too hesitant to be Pearl. "Peridot?" she called.

The footsteps halted and Peridot's voice echoed through the darkness. "Garnet? Is that you?"

"It's me." She began walking again and smiled when the green glow from Peridot's gem began to appear before her and soon, the little gem was in sight. "I left Steven and Lapis at earlier junctions, but I haven't seen any other paths this way. What about you?"

"Our group decided to separate at a four-way junction, and unless one of them has been forced to backtrack, the rightmost tunnel remains unexplored," Peridot informed her as they began to walk back along the path she'd taken. "And this particular tunnel split into three a small distance back. I took the left path."

Garnet nodded in acknowledgement. "When we reach it, take the central path. I'll take the right."

"How extensive are these tunnels?" Peridot asked curiously. "It seems unusual that nobody has encountered this creature yet." She thought for a moment. "I assume nobody has encountered it yet, correct?"

"Correct," Garnet confirmed. "You'd know if they had. There would be a lot of noise." She frowned a little. "You're right, though. Usually these creatures are drawn to other gems."

"Perhaps with so many of us, we've confused it?" Peridot suggested.

"Hmm." Garnet considered that. "I think you may be right. Ah," she added as the tunnel suddenly widened. "This must be the junction." She stopped and looked at the two other tunnels, wondering whether she should ask Peridot to come with her. If the scattered members of the team were confusing the corrupted gem, perhaps grouping back together again would draw it out. Then she dismissed the thought – the damage was already done and Peridot would only think Garnet was patronising her. "I'm sure I'll see you around," she said instead, and stepped into the right hand path.

Peridot began walking again, feeling the absence of her friends more than ever now that Garnet was gone. The tunnel stretched out before her, occasionally widening out into larger caverns, but sometimes narrow enough that she could reach out her arms and touch the walls on both sides. Perhaps that was why Garnet had asked her to take this route, she thought. The fusion would've found it a tight squeeze in places.

Faint noises began to reach her ears and she paused to listen, but it was impossible to determine the cause and so she began to creep forward a little more hesitantly. The chances of her stumbling upon the monster were only 16.6% (dropping to 14.3% if Garnet were to separate into her component parts again) but that was still 16.6% more than zero, which honestly, were her preferred odds.

The tunnel began to widen out and the noises grew clearer: scratches and rumblings that didn't sound like any of her friends, and she slowed to a halt, suddenly overcome with nerves. Of course, she'd been in battles before, battles where she was alone and outnumbered, but her primary tactic upon those occasions had always been to run away. Even when she'd created the trap in the old gem ship, her first priority had been to plot an escape route before fighting remotely. The only time she'd deliberately headed into danger, she'd had Steven by her side. But she'd vowed to do her best to be a worthy member of the Crystal Gems, she reminded herself, so she took a deep breath, reached for her blaster and crept forward again, hiding behind columns of ice and rock whenever she could.

She peered around one such handy chunk of rock and froze rigid with horror at her first sight of the monster, the blaster almost slipping from her fingers. Nobody had thought to tell Peridot exactly what the term 'corrupted gem' meant, and she hadn't thought to ask, assuming the name was simply synonymous with 'gem mutant' and that the monster would just be another fusion of gem shards, grotesque and terrifying, but fairly mindless, and fragile enough to be defeated with relative ease.

This creature, however, was something else, something she was completely unprepared for. It's great, shaggy mane of hair and general colouring vaguely reminded her of a Jasper, but something had gone horribly wrong with her. She was more animal than gem, prowling around on all fours and clawing at the walls like a creature from one of Connie's mother's documentaries, except there was no David Attenborough here to explain things to her in his lovely calm, soothing voice. There was nobody but her and the monster.

Suddenly it turned to face her, its eyes shining in the light of her gem, and she whipped back behind the rock with a squeak of terror. She heard the heavy thump of its footsteps and clamped her hands over her mouth before belatedly realising that noise wasn't the issue as she'd been utterly silent while observing the beast. It must simply have been alerted to her presence by the light from her gem, which she promptly extinguished, leaving them both in darkness.

xXxXx

Lapis flew slowly through the tunnels. There simply wasn't enough light for her to fly at her usual pace, but on the bright side, it meant that there was no wind whistling through her ears, and she heard the footsteps heading her way before she saw the faint light. "Steven?" she called hopefully.

"Oh, Lapis, is that you?" Pearl's voice replied.

Lapis allowed herself a moment to pout with disappointment before rearranging her features into a neutral expression. "Yeah, it's me." She landed softly on the ground and began walking the rest of the distance towards the other gem. "Have you seen anything yet?" she asked as soon as Pearl herself was in sight.

"I ran into Amethyst some way back," Pearl replied, nodding her head back in the direction she'd just come from. "She thought it would be amusing to shapeshift into some awful monster she'd seen on the television," she added dryly. "I very nearly stabbed her."

Lapis let out a small snort of laughter at that. "Is she all right?" she asked, half hoping the answer would be 'no', but Pearl nodded.

"The purple light was a bit of a giveaway," she said. "Anyway, she told me she'd passed a couple of junctions and offered to go back and explore one of them. I just hope she doesn't pull that stunt with Steven," she muttered, mostly to herself.

"And you haven't seen him yet?" Lapis checked.

"No." Pearl glanced over Lapis's shoulder and down the tunnel. "And what about you? Have you seen anything?"

"Just ice and rock," Lapis said with a shrug. "No gem monster. No junctions either."

"Well…" Pearl looked back along the tunnel again. "I passed through a cavern a short while back. It had several tunnels leading off it, so I suppose we ought to return there and choose a different path."

Lapis shrugged again. "OK."

They began walking along in silence. Lapis glanced over at the other gem and realised this was the first time they'd been alone together since she'd been freed from the mirror.

It seemed Pearl was thinking along the same lines, because she suddenly stopped and turned to face her. "Look, um, Lapis," she began a little hesitantly. "Um… I want to apologise to you for… well, for keeping the mirror stored in my gem for so long."

Lapis tensed. She didn't want to think about the mirror. The years she'd spent staring up at the sky, staring up at freedom she could never touch. And then the years spent in the pocket dimension in Pearl's gem, aware of the other gem's presence and knowing she was unaware of hers in return. She shivered and pushed those memories to the back of her mind. She didn't want to remember being so powerless. "You didn't know I was there," she muttered and began walking again, hoping Pearl would get the hint.

"But I knew you were a _gem_!" Pearl insisted, jogging lightly to catch up with her. "I mean, obviously I had _no idea_ you were sentient, we both know what happened to gems during the war, and I just assumed you were simply another piece of gem powered technology-"

Lapis felt rage build up within her and choked it down. She could not lose control in front of Pearl, she _would not_ lose control! "Of course you didn't know," she repeated again through gritted teeth.

Pearl shook her head. "But I should have… I don't know, examined you properly, spoken to you-"

Lapis stopped walking again. "Look, I'm really not comfortable talking about this with you," she said stonily. "It happened. We can't change that. I just want to forget about it."

"Right. Of course." Pearl shuffled her feet, looking guilty. "I am sorry though. I just… I thought it might help to know that."

"Yeah." Lapis snorted and began walking again. "Big help."

Pearl opened her mouth to apologise again, then hesitated, remembering that awful time when she'd tricked Garnet into fusion and her attempts to apologise afterwards. She'd failed to take Garnet's feelings into account, instead trying to force the other gem to accept her apologies to make herself feel better. She would do better this time, she vowed silently. She had apologised to Lapis and now she would just have to wait and give her time to decide whether or not she wanted to accept that apology. And if Lapis didn't want to talk about it, she would keep her mouth shut.

Thankfully, the cavern appeared before them at that moment and Pearl quietly sighed with relief. "That's the tunnel I was exploring originally," she explained, gesturing directly to her right. "As far as I'm aware, the others haven't been checked yet. Is there any one in particular you'd like to take?"

Laps looked around, taking in all she could see by the light of Pearl's gem. It was fairly nondescript; craggy rock walls, icicles, columns of ice and rock. It looked just like the tunnel she'd already been walking down, only wider, and none of the other five tunnels leading out of it appeared any more interesting than the others. "Guess that one's as good as any other," she said, heading towards an opening diagonally right. "See you around."

"Bye," Pearl called after her. Lapis raised a hand in acknowledgement and unfurled her wings again.

Her flight was a little more erratic now; she flew a little too fast and took corners a little too sharply, shaken by her conversation with Pearl. She'd managed to avoid thinking too much about the mirror recently but now it was fresh in her mind again. She'd spent so long looking up at the sky above the Galaxy Warp, she could still see the slow movement of the stars when she closed her eyes. And now, even though she was free of the mirror, she was still forced to stay here on Earth, under those same stars that had mocked her for so long.

Caught up in her thoughts, she flew past several junctions without seeing them, and failed to notice as the tunnel began to brighten with green light. It wasn't until the tunnel suddenly narrowed and she was forced to pull up quickly, that she noticed the figure in the distance. Then she growled in annoyance. First Pearl, now Peridot? It was like the universe was making up for the previous day.

She was in no mood to talk to the little green gem right now, so she deactivated her gem glow and hung back, keeping a sharp eye out for any junctions she could slip away down.

After several minutes of walking, Peridot suddenly paused, and Lapis froze too. For a moment she couldn't work out why the other gem had stopped, and then she heard the distant growling of what could only be the corrupted gem.

xXx

So it's clear from Kindergarten Kid that Peridot doesn't know much about corrupted gems, and I realised a few chapters ago that the only mention I made of them was when Lapis briefly mentioned "those weird monster gems" when the clones were attacking. And as the Crystal Gems aren't around much and the subject hasn't really come up, poor Peridot had no idea what she was getting into here!

And speaking of subjects that haven't really come up, I'm still waiting for the show to deal with the whole "Pearl kept Lapis's mirror in her gem for ages" thing! I've managed to avoid most spoilers for Gem Harvest, but I'm really hoping for some interaction between Lapis and the main CGs because we really haven't had much at all since she started living in the barn and there's gotta be some tension. But then again, it could be that the CGs are avoiding her because they think it'll be awkward.


	32. Mission Impossible

Chapter Thirty-Two – Mission Impossible

Lapis had to admit, she was a little impressed when Peridot didn't immediately turn around and run away. Instead, the other gem pulled her blaster out of her gem and began to creep forward. Lapis landed silently on the rocky floor and followed at a distance, careful to stay in the shadows, and watched as Peridot stopped beside a chunk of rock. Beyond, she could just about make out the hulking shape of the gem monster. Lapis squinted, trying to get a better look at her – a few corrupted gems had passed the Galaxy Warp while she'd been stuck there, their grotesque, monstrous bodies completely terrifying her, but her first _proper_ encounter with one had been during the recent mission in the desert, and she was curious to see what this one looked like.

Suddenly, there was a faint noise of fear from Peridot as the creature turned, and the light from her gem vanished.

Lapis said something extremely rude under her breath and blinked rapidly in the darkness, but a moment later, another gem's glow shone, far brighter than Peridot's, and she was forced to retreat behind a corner to avoid being seen. As soon as the spots disappeared from her eyes, she peeped back around the corner and watched with morbid fascination as the creature stepped into view, the gem on its chest glowing as it slowly approached the chunk of rock where Peridot was hiding.

Perhaps it was because the corrupted gem somehow reminded her of Jasper, perhaps it was because she was still on edge after talking to Pearl, but as Peridot took a deep breath and tightened her grip on her blaster, a fresh wave of loathing washed over Lapis and without really thinking about the possible consequences, she shot out a hand, causing a sheet of ice to form on the floor of the cave.

Then, deciding it might be wise to be somewhere else, she turned and walked away.

xXxXx

She couldn't hide behind the rock much longer, Peridot realised, when the cave flooded with light again. The corrupted gem knew she was there somewhere, and sooner or later, it would find her. The best thing she could do, she decided, was to strike first.

She took a deep breath to steel her nerves, tightened her grip on her blaster, took a step forward…

…and immediately slipped on the icy floor, landing on her front with a _thud_ that knocked all the breath out of her. The blaster shot out of her hands and skidded across the cave, out of reach.

For a brief moment, Peridot lay there, completely stunned. Then an enraged roar from the monster brought her back to her senses. She raised her upper body and quickly glanced around, trying to spot her weapon, and took a sharp breath when she spotted it lying just a few metres away from the creature's paws. Her gaze rose up the creature's body to her face and she gulped. Even though she didn't appear to have any eyes, she still seemed to be glaring at her.

The best thing she could do _now_ , she decided, was run away. And if she could lure the creature away from the area, she might be able to double back and retrieve her blaster.

With that thought, she attempted to climb back to her feet. However, in her haste, she couldn't get a grip on the icy floor and promptly fell over again with a yelp. She immediately abandoned that idea and instead began scrambling back towards the tunnel on her hands and knees. But before she could reach it, the corrupted gem jumped, sailing over her head and landing in front of the entrance with a _thud_ that shook the floor. Taken entirely by surprise, Peridot could only stare at her for a second.

Then the creature raised an enormous paw as big as Peridot's entire body, and swiped at her. Peridot shrieked and tried to back away, only for her arms and legs to slide out from underneath her - a happy accident as it turned out, as she fell flat on her back and the gem's paw whizzed through the air where her head had been a moment sooner.

There was no doubt in Peridot's mind this time. No second thoughts. This was not one of Lapis's clones, designed to smack her around but not cause any real harm, this gem would destroy her physical form if given the chance, and might well shatter her gem too. She scrambled towards her blaster and lunged for it, only for the corrupted gem to turn and smack it further out of reach. Then with a triumphant roar, she raised her front paws and brought them down heavily upon the weapon, shattering it to pieces.

 _Abort! Abort mission!_ Peridot screamed internally. She needed to get out of there, right now. There was nothing she could do now without a weapon, and if the others showed up, she would only be in the way. Remembering how narrow it had been in places, she scrambled backwards again, heading once more for the tunnel she'd entered from. And once again, the corrupted gem moved to block her way.

Panic welled up inside her. She could see several other tunnels leading out of the cave, but she was now certain that the monster would block any move she made towards them. In desperation, she dove behind an ice column, intent on using the cover to move as close to an exit as possible, but before she could plan her next move, the column exploded, peppering her with shards of ice and she screamed again, scooting backwards as the corrupted gem loomed over her.

"Peridot! Look out!"

Steven's voice rang out through the cave and suddenly, Peridot found herself surrounded by his pink bubble shield. A split second later, she flinched as the corrupted gem's paw bounced harmlessly off the surface. Furious, the monster roared and whacked the bubble again, sending it flying across the cave with Peridot tumbling around helplessly inside.

"Hey! Leave her alone!" Steven yelled. He took another step into the cave, and when the gem monster took another step towards Peridot, he picked up a piece of shattered rock and flung it at her. It bounced off her head and she slowly turned to face him. "Yeah! That's right, over here!" he taunted.

A moment later, he regretted his words as the gem monster obligingly charged towards him. "Ah! Not over here, somewhere else!" he yelled, hurriedly retreating back down the passage. There was a colossal _thud_ that almost drowned out Peridot's screams as the monster crashed into the tunnel entrance, which thankfully, seemed to be too narrow for her to fit down.

Just as that thought crossed his mind, she roared with rage and reached a paw into the tunnel, swiping blindly at him. Feeling a little like a cartoon mouse, Steven retreated a little further back into the tunnel until he was out of reach. As if realising the futility of this move, the gem monster withdrew her paw and charged at the entrance again. There was an ominous rumble and Steven gulped and took another step backwards as the walls around him trembled and dust and fragments of rock fell from the roof. He briefly considered summoning another bubble shield, but he wasn't sure if he could sustain two at once and he didn't want to leave Peridot unprotected, out there in the open. Instead, he turned and began to run, just as the entrance to the tunnel collapsed behind him.

"STEVEN!" Peridot screamed in horror. She flung herself at the monster's back, but the bubble simply bounced right off and she fell over. Climbing back to her feet, she prepared to charge at the monster again, but before she could move, every ice fragment in the cave suddenly shot through the air and impaled the corrupted gem. She roared one final time, and then exploded into blue-grey smoke, plunging the cave into darkness.

"Steven!"

Activating her gem, Peridot could just see the faint outline of Lapis through the smoke as she ran towards the caved-in tunnel, completely ignoring Peridot and the Jasper gem on the floor. "Steven!" Lapis called again, frantically tugging at the rocks. "Are you OK!?"

Peridot rolled closer and then hesitated, not quite sure what to do next; it wasn't like she could be much help from inside the bubble. She gave it a small, hopeful kick, but nothing happened. But surely if the shield was holding, that had to mean Steven was… "Is he-" she began.

"Go away!" Lapis snarled, turning on her and aiming a swift punch at the bubble. Taken completely by surprise, Peridot fell over again as the bubble rolled away and when she sat up, she found herself looking up at Lapis's furious face. "This is all your fault," she said coldly. "We should've never brought you along."

Peridot opened her mouth, then closed it again. She couldn't argue with the other gem because she was thinking the exact same thing too. With one last, withering look, Lapis turned her back on her and began pulling at the rocks again.

Suddenly Garnet and Amethyst came sprinting out of one of the other tunnels, skidding to a halt as they took in the scene before them. "Amethyst, bubble the gem," Garnet ordered. Without waiting to see if she complied, she strode over to Lapis's side and began throwing boulders over her shoulder.

As soon as they'd moved most of the larger debris, the rubble shifted and Steven broke through. "I'm OK! Ow," he added as Lapis lunged forward and pulled him into a bone-crushing hug.

"I was so worried!" she cried. "I didn't… you could've been killed!"

"I'm fine, honest," he insisted, squirming to break free. "But I really need to breathe now."

"You sure you're OK, dude?" Amethyst asked, giving him a slow once-over as Lapis reluctantly let go of him. "You're leaking some of that red stuff down your face."

Steven reached up to touch the cut above his eye and winced when his hand came away bloody. "Seriously, I'm totally fine," he insisted again. "I just gotta…" He licked his hand and pressed it to his wound. "There! Tada! All better." Then he took a step forward and peered around the small crowd of concerned gems, looking for- "Peridot! Are you OK?"

Peridot, who'd been trying to make herself invisible, took a shaky breath and nodded. "Thank you for your concern," she whispered. "I am fine now."

"Good." Steven grinned happily and with a wave of his hands, the bubble vanished.

"Awesome," Amethyst agreed, apparently unaware of the tension in the room. "Now we just gotta find Pearl and we can go home."

Garnet glanced around the cave and fixed her gaze on the original tunnel Peridot had entered from. "She's coming."

Sure enough, a moment later, Pearl came running in. "I heard shouting-yow!" She waved her arms wildly as she slipped on the icy floor, but just about managed to stay upright.

"Careful. The floor's a bit slippery," Garnet said.

"I noticed, thanks," Pearl said curtly. "What happened? Where's the gem monster?" Then she gasped as she spotted Steven. "Is that blood!?" Whipping a hanky out of her gem, she strode over to him, spat into it and began rubbing at his face.

"Yeah, it's blood, the gem's back at the temple, and I literally have _no_ idea what happened," Amethyst said, ticking each question off on her hand as she responded.

Peridot gulped and lowered her head in shame. "It was my fault," she whispered.

"No it wasn't!" Steven objected.

"What wasn't?" Amethyst and Pearl asked in unison.

"You were all correct," Peridot continued, ignoring Steven's protest. "A physical weapon is inferior to one called forth by a gem. I should never have asked to take part in a mission before mastering that skill and because I did, Steven was injured." Her eyes began to burn and she blinked back the tears fiercely, refusing to allow herself the luxury of self-pity. "I apologise. I won't be taking part in any further missions for the time being."

"No!" Steven stepped forward, looking determined. "What happened was an accident, it wasn't your fault! Besides," he added, as she refused to meet his gaze, "everybody else here has either injured or nearly killed me too, it happens! You can't let a little thing like that stop you!"

"It's true," Garnet interjected. "I almost punched him into orbit."

Pearl pursed her lips, but admitted, "I built a spaceship. It exploded shortly after we bailed out."

"I…" Amethyst trailed off and looked at her team mates for help. "I'm drawing a blank," she said in a loud whisper. "Help me out here!"

"Well, there was that time when you almost crushed him with an injector drill in the Kindergarten," Pearl offered. "And that time Sugilite hit him with a rock, but I accept that that wasn't _entirely_ your fault. Oh, and there was also that time-"

"One's good, thanks," Amethyst said firmly.

Everybody then turned and looked expectantly at Lapis, who scowled, folded her arms and looked away. "I… may have maybe _once_ tried to drown him. But there were circumstances!" she added defensively.

"There's always circumstances," Garnet said calmly. "But that's not the point." She stepped forward to stand beside Steven. "There's always an element of risk in these missions," she said, addressing everybody. "Even with future vision, I can't always eliminate that risk. We've all made mistakes in the past when it comes to Steven's safety, the important thing is that we learn from them."

Peridot nodded. "You're right." For a brief moment, Steven and Garnet looked hopeful, but then she carried on talking. "And after events today, I have learned that I am not ready to take part in any more missions."

"I still don't get it. What _happened_?" Amethyst whispered, looking at Garnet in confusion as Steven threw up his hands in defeat and sat down sulkily on the floor.

"I'd like to know that myself," Garnet said with a frown. She glanced over at Lapis, who tensed under the scrutiny.

"What?" She asked warily. "I don't know, when I came in, Peridot was just sitting there in a bubble and that… that _thing_ had caused a cave-in from smashing itself against the tunnel to get to Steven."

"Oh my stars," Pearl gasped in horror, swooping Steven up into her arms and clutching him close to her chest.

"Mmmrm _fine_ ," he grumbled, struggling to get free.

"I poofed it," Lapis continued, ignoring the interruption. "Then I tried to clear the rocks to get to Steven. That's when you came in," she finished, nodding at Amethyst and Garnet. "That's all I know."

"Soooo… what happened?" Amethyst asked again, this time turning to Steven as he wriggled futilely in Pearl's grasp.

Giving up, Steven allowed himself to hang limply in Pearl's arms. "The monster was attacking Peridot and her blaster was broken, so I put her in a bubble shield and distracted it."

"Ah," Garnet said, suddenly understanding why Peridot had brought up the weapon. She shone her gems around the cave until the light fell upon the shattered remains of Peridot's blaster.

"Oooooh." Amethyst winced. "Bummer, dude."

Pearl finally put Steven down and began picking up some of the pieces. "Well…" she said slowly, trying to think of the right thing to say. "Perhaps if you made multiple blasters," she began, "you could just replace one if you got disarmed-"

"I didn't 'get disarmed'," Peridot said sullenly. "I fell over and dropped it." She stepped forward and took the fragments from Pearl's outstretched hands. "I still sometimes have trouble compensating for the loss of my limb enhancers. Which is another reason why I should not have come. Anyway," she continued, "creating multiple blasters, in addition to being an enormous waste of time and resources, fails to address the root cause of the problem, which is that I cannot summon a weapon."

There was a short, awkward silence after this monologue, and then she spoke again. "Can we leave now?"

xXx

Come on, Peridot, this doesn't even make the top ten of terrible things that have happened to Steven! I don't even think it makes the top five of terrible things _you've_ done to Steven! Although admittedly, when you were trying to crush him with giant hands and fly him to Homeworld and kidnap him from his bed, you didn't actually care about him. Goddamit, Lapis, I hope you're proud of yourself.

One small note - I don't think we've seen Steven use his bubble shield to separately bubble a different character in the show, it's something I took from the Attack The Light game. In that he _can_ bubble more than one person at a time, but he can't bubble himself. Admittedly that's because monsters only attack the three main CGs, but I decided maybe he couldn't bubble himself if he was holding a bubble around someone else.


	33. No Fate

Chapter Thirty-Three – No Fate

The mood was sombre as the group made their way back to the warp pad. Both Steven and Amethyst made several attempts to lighten the atmosphere with jokes and shapeshifting tricks, but as Lapis was the only one who seemed to be amused, they soon gave up.

Back at the beach house, Peridot gave Steven back his damp and dirty t-shirt, made her excuses and left. Steven had tried to protest, but Garnet laid a hand on his shoulder and gently led him outside onto the deck. "Give her some space, Steven," she said quietly. "She's not going to change her mind if you crowd her."

"But she will change her mind eventually?" he asked, looking up at her with anxious eyes. "Can you see if she'll come on a mission with us again?"

Garnet sighed and closed her eyes for a moment, looking into the future. It was a difficult thing to do, to quickly search for a future with the particular outcome she wanted, for missions she hadn't even know existed, without being sidetracked by all the other possibilities life might throw their way. But to her relief, although there were a few futures where Peridot refused to join them again, the visions she saw were mostly positive. "It may take a while, but she should come around," she reassured him. "What happened today scared her, but once she's had time to process it, she'll realise it really wasn't her fault."

Despite Garnet's reassurance, Steven still looked worried. "Did… did you see what happened today? I mean," he clarified, "did you see a future vision where it happened?"

"Yes," Garnet admitted. "Several, actually. But I said to you before, no one can really see the future. I saw many different outcomes for this mission and most of them were favourable. Some of them were not. It is the case for every mission we go on, there is a risk of failure in every scenario. All I can do is try to steer events towards a positive outcome."

"So why didn't it work?" Steven persisted. "Why did things go wrong?"

"Free will," Garnet said simply. "The one thing I was certain of was that if we stayed in a large group, one of us would probably get hurt. The tunnels and caves were too small for all of us to fight at once, the probability of a successful outcome was higher if we split up. But once we did, I couldn't be certain who would find the monster first. And I couldn't be sure where the monster was either." She knelt down in front of the boy and removed her visor so he could see her eyes. "The only person I can truly control is me. Other people make their own decisions for their own reasons and so long as there is free will, I cannot be completely certain of anything and sometimes I will get things wrong. Unfortunately, today was one of those times and because of that, Peridot was spooked and you were hurt. It wasn't Peridot's fault at all. It was mine." She clutched his hands and bowed her head. "I'm sorry, Steven."

Steven leaned forward and hugged her, finally understanding. "It wasn't your fault either," he said softly. "Future vision has its limits. And hey," he added, "if every pork chop was perfect…"

"We wouldn't have hotdogs," Garnet finished with a smile. "I saw _that_ coming, at least." She patted him on the back and stood up. "But next time, I'll see if I can find a mission with better odds of success and explore more of the negative outcomes to see how they can be avoided, OK?"

"OK," Steven agreed.

They walked back into the house just as Pearl was taking an enormous pie out of the fridge. "Ah, Steven, would you like some pie?" she asked, bopping Amethyst lightly on the nose with a spatula as the other gem leaned forward greedily.

Steven gazed at the pie with starry-eyed admiration. "That's huge! It's not all for me, is it?"

"It was supposed to be for everyone," Pearl admitted. "To celebrate our successful mission. I was even going to have a slice myself. Things may not have worked out as well as we'd hoped, but I see no reason why the pie should go to waste, I can always make another one. So!" she exclaimed brightly, pretending she hadn't seen his face fall. "How much would you like?"

"Um, just a small piece to start with," Steven decided.

Pearl cut him a small piece that could feed a family of four and looked expectantly around the room. "Anyone else?"

"Me!" Amethyst said at once.

"Garnet?" Pearl asked, ignoring her purple teammate.

"Maybe next time," Garnet said. "I'm not really in the mood for pie now."

Amethyst looked hopeful. "I'm in the mood for pie."

"What about you, Lapis?" Pearl asked, looking up at the blue gem, who was loitering by the window.

"Eugh." Lapis shuddered, remembering the fishy pizza she'd been offered the last time Steven had shown her around Beach City. How humans could stand to eat those horrid creatures was a mystery to her. And that was _before_ Steven had explained what would happen if she ingested it! "No thank you. I don't do human food."

"Oh. Well, that's understandable." Pearl nodded and finally turned to Amethyst. "All right. How much do you want."

"Oooh, just a small piece," Amethyst said demurely. She watched as Pearl pressed the knife into the crust. "Not that small. Bigger. Bigger. Big- aw, come on, P, bigger than that!"

"Your 'small piece' is now roughly three-quarters of the entire pie," Pearl coldly informed her.

"Your pies are just so good though!" Amethyst said with wide-eyed innocence. "If you ever went on that "British Baking In A Tent" show, you'd blow them all away! No way could Paul Kansas accuse _you_ of having a soggy bottom!"

Pearl rolled her eyes, but couldn't help blushing at the compliment, and she cut Amethyst a generous portion of pie. "That's it, though," she warned, putting the rest back in the fridge. "Steven may want some more later."

Steven privately thought there was probably enough pie on his plate to feed him for the rest of the week, but he kept quiet and carried on eating, wondering whether he should tell Pearl that Peridot wouldn't have been able to eat the pie anyway. After a little thought, he decided he'd tell Peridot about the pie first, then she could decide whether to tell Pearl herself or make an excuse. Then again… if she was already refusing to come on more missions because she couldn't summon a weapon, it might be a bad idea to bring up her lack of shapeshifting skills too-

"Steven? Are you OK?" Lapis asked, stepping forward to stand opposite him.

"Huh?" Steven blinked and realised he'd been holding a forkful of pie in front of his open mouth for several seconds. "Ah!" He popped the pie in his mouth, chewed and swallowed. "Yeah, I'm fine," he reassured her once his mouth was empty. "I was just thinking about Peridot again."

Lapis blinked. "Oh."

"Dude, she'll be _fine,_ " Amethyst assured him. "I mean, OK, yeah, she's a little freaked right now, but she'll get over it." She suddenly sat up straighter and snapped her fingers. "Oh! I'll look through all the weapons we brought back from the battlefield, see if I can find some Peri-sized stuff for her to mess with for next time. I bet that'll snap her right out of it!" Then to Pearl's horror, she tipped the rest of her pie into her mouth, swallowed it without chewing and slid off her stool to make her way back to her room.

"How do you even taste it when you just gulp it down like that?" Pearl complained, following close behind. "I spent _hours_ on that pie, you consumed it in _two seconds!_ "

The temple door closed behind them, shutting out the sound of their argument. After a moment, Garnet stood up to follow them. "Excuse me. I have to move a crossbow immediately."

Steven watched her leave and then turned back to his pie, jumping a little in surprise when he found Lapis staring intently at him. "You're still worried about her, aren't you?" she asked.

He nodded. "Amethyst means well, but I just don't think more weapons are gonna help."

"Well, if you like, _I_ can talk to her when I go back to the barn," Lapis offered. "I mean, it's not exactly the same, but when I'm in a place where there's not a lot of water, it's a lot more difficult for me to use my gem powers to fight, so I know a little bit how that feels."

Steven looked a little more hopeful at that. "You wouldn't mind?"

"Not at all." She smiled brightly at him. "I'll give her some space for now and talk to her later."

Steven smiled back and poked his pie again. He was feeling pretty full by this point, and he still had half the slice left. "You sure you don't wanna try some?" he asked Lapis, who was now looking a little suspiciously at it. "It's not like the pizza, I promise."

Lapis hesitated. A small part of her wanted to give it a try, just to please Steven, but… "Does pie need to be… what was it, 'pooped' too?"

"All food has to be pooped," Steven admitted. "I think that's pretty much true for all organic life."

Lapis brought her hand to her mouth in horror. "All of them!? Even plants!? Plants poop!? That's disgusting!"

Steven stared at her for a moment and then snorted with laughter. "I don't think plants poop, no. Or maybe they do?" He stroked his chin thoughtfully. "I mean, some of them _are_ carnivorous… I'm gonna call Connie," he decided, pushing his half-eaten pie away and pulling his phone out of his pocket. "She'll know."

"It's OK, I don't need to know," Lapis said quickly, but Steven was already putting the phone to his ear.

"Hi Connie! Do you know if plants poop?"

On the other end of the line, Connie pulled the phone away from her ear and looked at it in confusion. "I'm sorry, what?" she asked.

"Do you know if plants poop?" Steven asked again.

"Yes, that's what I thought you said," Connie said. "I was hoping I'd misheard you." She sighed heavily and thought for a moment. "Well, plant's don't really eat like we do, they use photosynthesis-"

"Photowhat?" Steven interrupted.

"What photowhat?" Lapis whispered.

Steven waved her away and tried to concentrate as Connie began talking again. "Photosynthesis," she repeated. "Sunlight is used to convert carbon dioxide and water into sugars, releasing oxygen as a waste product…"

Steven listened to this explanation with increasing confusion. "So does that mean they poop or not?" he finally asked once she paused for breath in the middle of the ATP cycle.

Connie groaned. "No Steven. They don't poop. Carnivorous plants, like Venus Flytraps, absorb as much as they can and spit out what they can't dissolve, but most plants just kinda breathe out oxygen and that's it."

"OK, thanks Connie!" Steven said cheerfully. "That's all I needed to know."

On the other end of the line, Connie grinned. "Glad I could help."

They said their goodbyes and then Steven hung up and turned to face Lapis again. "She said plants eat sunlight and breathe out oxygen but they don't poop," he informed her.

"Great. I'm so glad we decided to pursue this line of enquiry," Lapis said dryly.

"So…" Steven waggled his eyebrows. "Do you want some pie?"

"Ew! No!" But a smile was twitching around the corners of her mouth and a moment later, the two of them began to laugh.

xXxXx

In the end, it was several more hours before Lapis left to make her way back to the barn. Even though she knew, deep down, that his healing powers had repaired the damage to his body, she was still reluctant to leave him. Sure, he'd healed _her_ cracked gem with no problems, but what if it worked differently on organic lifeforms and something terrible happened to him in the night?

Of course, it went without saying that the whole thing was Peridot's fault, but she had to keep saying it to herself because a nasty little voice in her head kept pointing out that if she hadn't iced the floor, Peridot wouldn't have dropped her blaster and Steven wouldn't have run to her rescue and been hurt. But even if she hadn't interfered, she internally argued back, Peridot probably would've dropped it anyway. As she'd said herself, she was still sometimes unsteady without her limb enhancers, and it was especially obvious in high-stress situations. She would've dropped it with or without Lapis's interference, and the fact that Garnet didn't seem to be suspicious only confirmed that.

Except… Lapis _had_ interfered. And Steven had been hurt. Guilt flooded through her at the memory of the tunnel collapsing around him. It was one thing to tamper with his cell phone, causing temporary damage and minor annoyance, but this…

It wasn't fun any more.

Steven had been hurt.

And it was all Peridot's fault.

xXx

Dunno how familiar any of you are with The Terminator movies, but there's a bit in T2 where Sarah Connor carves the words 'NO FATE' into a table. It's basically a message to herself about how the future is not set, but can be changed by our actions, and I'm pretty sure this sort of thing is why Garnet's Future Vision is such a tricky beast. Garnet is not infallible. Stuff takes her by surprise and she gets things wrong.

So _did_ she see what happened? Well, yes. But as she said, she saw several paths that lead to that future and she can't be certain whose actions lead to that outcome. It's _future_ vision, she can't go back and take another look after events have passed. And why didn't she see anything just now when she was looking directly into Peridot's future? Because she was specifically looking for future missions, nothing else. Remember when Sapphire was so fixated on the end of their argument that she missed everything happening in the present? Yeah. So, Garnet _is_ beginning to get vague suspicions, but after the mess in Message Received, she's reluctant to act without better proof in case she's wrong again.

Ugh, I kinda hate future vision. It's such an annoying power to have - either you have to make your character omniscient, or you have to throw in a bunch of rules to explain why they didn't see the thing. I hope I'm not doing too bad a job, but it's difficult when the show itself keeps things vague and flip-flops between 'Garnet knows at once that Steven needs a touch of Future Vision to make the right choice about helping Connie get home' and 'where the hell is Malachite, seriously, it's been like, seven months now.'

On a lighter note, I'm totally going to miss "British Baking In A Tent" when it moves to Channel 4! I mean, I'll probably still watch it, but it won't be the same, even with "Paul Kansas" on board!

And finally, I'm sorry for the final part of the chapter. I thought it would be funny for Lapis to be disgusted by the thought of plants pooping, but then I realised I actually didn't know if they don't. Now we all get to learn together. Who ever said fanfic wasn't educational?


	34. Dark Water

Chapter Thirty-Four – Dark Water

When Lapis finally reached the barn, she found Peridot slumped on the battered sofa, apparently watching television. "Hey," she called softly.

Peridot didn't respond, but to be fair, that could be because somebody onscreen had started screaming, so Lapis cleared her throat loudly and called up again. "Hey!"

Peridot finally noticed her roommate and lifted her head slightly in acknowledgement. "Hello," she said listlessly. "How's Steven?"

"Oh, he's fine," Lapis said with far more enthusiasm than she felt. "He's-"

She was interrupted by a roar, some loud crunching and more screaming. With a frown, she unfurled her wings and flew up to the upper level, landing just beside the multimedia player. Onscreen, a woman was staggering around in a flooded kitchen, holding onto the bloody stump where her arm had once been. Then a creature that she half-recognised lunged out of the shadows and tore off her other arm. It was a marked difference from Camp Pining Hearts, she noticed. "What are you even watching, anyway?" she asked curiously.

"Sharkasaurus Park," Peridot muttered, her eyes fixed to the screen. "At first I thought it was entirely fictional, but apparently it's based on a true story."

"Huh." Lapis now recognised the top half of the creature as one of the aquatic creatures she'd sometimes glimpsed while holding Malachite in the ocean. "So it's half shark, half…?"

"Dinosaur," Peridot replied. "Modern day birds are believed to be their evolved form," she added monotonously as Lapis gave her a blank look. "It seems they tried to resurrect them by filling in gaps in their genetic code with shark DNA." There was another blood-curdling scream and Lapis winced as four Sharkasaurus attacked a man, each one biting off a different limb. "It didn't quite go according to plan," Peridot finished, seemingly unfazed by the violence taking place on the screen.

"That seems like an understatement," Lapis said, averting her eyes as another Sharkasaurus stepped forward. She could guess what was about to happen, and sure enough, a moment later the screaming stopped. "Look, I'm sorry about what I said earlier," she began before anyone else could start screaming. "I was worried about Steven and I wasn't thinking clearly. What happened wasn't your fault, _nobody_ blames you."

Peridot made no reply and kept her eyes on the television, but Lapis thought she looked a little hopeful than she had done, so she pressed on. "Actually, Garnet blames herself," she said innocently.

"She does?" Finally Peridot tore her gaze away from the screen and looked at Lapis with curiosity. "Why would she do that?"

"Well…" Lapis hesitated, savouring the moment. "She thought you'd be able to handle it. You know, she used her future vision to see how well the mission would go and she thought you were ready, but she was wrong."

"Oh." Peridot deflated like an old balloon. She'd let Garnet down, she realised. Garnet had thought she was ready, her future vision had backed her up and Peridot had let her down. She let her eyes drift back towards the television, pretending to care as the President fought off a group of Sharkasaurus with a Taser.

"But you see-"

"ARRRGH! HELP! THEY'RE EATING MY LEGS!"

The Vice-President had thrown himself in front of the President, saving her at the cost of his lower torso and Lapis sighed with annoyance. "Can I turn this down a little?" Without waiting for a response, she reached over and tapped the volume control until the cries of the Sharkasaurus were nothing but a dull roar in the background. Then she sat down on the sofa next to Peridot and gave her her best sympathetic smile. "Look," she began, "I know it might not look like it, but I do know how you feel. Remember when I arrived back on Homeworld?"

Peridot didn't respond, but Lapis noticed her glance in her direction, so she carried on talking. "There wasn't a lot of water on Homeworld back when I first lived there. I mean, sure, there was _some_ , but it was rare. And it was always being used for something important, it wasn't just lying around like it does here." She waved over at the doorway and the small lake beyond. "I remember when I joined Blue Diamond's court. She had a fountain in her palace courtyard, and it was the most water I'd ever seen. And it was all decorative, all for her. I used to make it dance for her." She was silent for a moment, recalling those happy memories before she'd been sent to Earth and everything had gone wrong. "I spent thousands of years stuck at the Galaxy Warp," she continued a little abruptly. "The sea was all around me and water often fell from the sky. I could always feel it on my gem. Even though I couldn't use it, I got used to being surrounded by water. Then when Steven freed me, I used all that water to fight the Crystal Gems. So when I returned to Homeworld, I'd almost forgotten it wasn't there."

She paused for a moment, trying to think of the best way to voice her thoughts. "I wasn't expecting to be arrested," she said slowly. Beside her, Peridot tensed. "I thought…"

The rebellion had ended so many years ago. She'd thought she'd been missed. She'd thought she'd be welcomed back with open arms. She thought she'd be able to slip back into her old life, with her old friends and her beloved Diamond. She'd thought she was _free._ The loss of it all hit her again and she bit her lip hard.

She didn't want to share any of that with Peridot, so she changed the subject. "I didn't realise how much had changed since I'd been gone. As soon as I was in range of Homeworld, I was surrounded by a group of Agate soldiers and escorted to the planet's surface. I didn't protest; I thought once I told them who I was, they'd inform Blue Diamond and I'd be allowed to go. But as soon as I mentioned where I'd come from…" She stopped and laughed dryly. "Well. I doubt things could've gone worse if I'd told them I was Rose Quartz herself. Every single one of them grabbed their… what was it, gem destabilisers, and before I could react, they destroyed my form."

Her carefully-crafted mask of friendliness broke for a moment. She gripped the sofa cushion tightly and a bitter laugh slipped from her lips. Then, aware that Peridot was watching her, she took a deep breath and forced a blasé smile back onto her face. "I reformed inside a cell, but I'd never seen anything like it before. I couldn't break out. Nobody came near me. And there was nothing I could do about it. There was no water I could use. I was completely helpless again. All I had were my wings. And then," she finished, "you and Jasper showed up. Of course, you know the rest."

Peridot shifted uncomfortably. She didn't like being reminded of her behaviour towards Lapis back on Homeworld, although of course, she hadn't seen anything wrong with it at the time. She'd been professional and logical, following her Diamond's orders without question. And Yellow Diamond wanted information about the Cluster, information that she hadn't been able to get because of the interference of the Crystal Gems. So when Jasper had told her a Lapis Lazuli had just arrived from Earth, claiming to have been held prisoner by the Crystal Gems, Peridot had immediately requested that she accompany them to the planet in order to identify their base. The thought that Lapis might not _want_ to go back simply didn't occur to her. "I'm sorry," she said again. "I didn't think-"

"Oh no, it's OK!" Lapis quickly interrupted. "I know you didn't! I mean, I gotta admit, I was mad at you for a while, but you were just doing your job, it wasn't personal." She smiled again and gave the other gem a restrained nudge. "I'm past it. We're friends now!" She reached out and patted Peridot on the shoulder. "I just wanted you to know, I remember how it felt to be alone and powerless and trapped in a hostile place."

"Um." Peridot wasn't quite sure how to respond to Lapis's tale; for all her reassurances, it wasn't particularly reassuring and it had done little to loosen the knot of guilt and shame inside her. But still, she had to appreciate the effort. "Thank you."

"No problem, roomie." Lapis smiled sweetly, then reached over and turned up the volume again. She only had to be nice to the other gem for a little longer, she reminded herself. Steven would probably come over to check on her in the morning, but once he was gone…

Onscreen, the President's niece had finally managed to get the park's defences back online and let out a whoop of triumph, completely unaware of the Sharkasaurus lurking in the shadows behind her.

xXxXx

As Lapis had guessed, Steven showed up early the next morning. She had retreated to her room at the end of the movie and had since become engrossed in yet another Larry Porter novel, but the sound of the warp pad had caught her attention and as soon as she realised who it was, she dropped the book and flew off to meet him. "Hi, Steven!"

"Hi, Lapis." He shifted his bulging cheeseburger backpack, which clanked and rattled ominously. "Is Peridot in?"

"I haven't seen her this morning," Lapis admitted. "But I heard the television, so I assume she's around."

"Camp Pining Hearts?" he guessed, falling into step beside her.

"Sharkasaurus vs Spiderpus," Lapis corrected.

Steven's pace faltered for a moment and he gave her a quizzical look. "Seriously? That doesn't sound like Peridot's kind of thing."

Lapis shrugged. "I think she was just watching it because it was on."

"Oh." They walked together in silence for a moment, and then Steven spoke again. "Sadie has the whole franchise on DVD. She said it peaked at Sharasaurus 3: Planet of the Sharkasaurs, but after that…" His face began to twitch with mirth as he fought to get the next few words out without laughing through them. "…It _jumped the shark!"_

Lapis looked blankly at him. "I don't get it."

"It's where a piece of media does something silly to get ratings," Steven tried to explain. "It's named after a scene in a TV show where a character jumped over a shark on water skis. It's funny, because they're half shark."

"Oh." Lapis laughed politely, although she still didn't quite get it.

Steven opened his mouth to try and explain further, but decided against it. "So how is she, anyway? Did you talk to her last night?"

"Yeah." Lapis smiled. "I don't know if it helped, but I'm glad I tried."

They stepped into the barn and looked up towards the upper platform. Peridot had apparently snapped out of her lethargy and was now sitting on the floor in front of the multimedia player with a frown on her face.

"Hi Peridot," Steven called, raising his voice over the roaring and screaming.

"Hello Steven," she replied, a little distracted. Then with some effort, she pulled her eyes away from the screen. "Steven? Can I ask you a question?"

"Television lie," he immediately replied.

"Are you certain?" she asked as Lapis looked from one to the other, wondering how he could possibly know what she was going to ask. "The first one claimed that it was based on a true story."

Steven thought for a moment. He'd only seen the first movie from behind the sofa, so his recollection of it wasn't so good, but… "It started on a movie set, right?" he said hesitantly. "The main character was an action movie star who used skills he'd learned on set to fight the monsters?"

Peridot narrowed her eyes. "Yes…?"

"Well, that's it!" Steven grinned up at her. "They meant that the movie they were making _in_ the movie was based on a true story!"

"That's a bit misleading," Peridot huffed.

Steven shrugged. "It was a joke. The people that made it assumed everyone would know that. I mean," he chuckled, "obviously you can't just mix shark DNA with dinosaur DNA-"

"You can't?" Peridot and Lapis questioned in unison. "Isn't that how _you_ were made?" Peridot continued. "By just mixing Greg's DNA with Rose Quartz's? I don't know the specifics, obviously, I did assume it was something like fusion-"

"That's different!" Steven interrupted hastily. "Anyway," he continued, quickly changing the subject before she could ask _how_ it was different. "The gems are doing gem stuff, so I thought I'd come over and hang with you guys today. I thought maybe we could start watching season one?"

To his surprise, the atmosphere suddenly turned tense and neither Lapis or Peridot looked particularly thrilled with his idea. "A-actually, I'd quite like to see how this movie ends," Peridot said abruptly, and disappeared back behind the screen.

"Oooookay," Steven said slowly. "How about later?"

"Um." Peridot made a mental note to push her multimedia player over the edge of the platform as soon as the movie ended. "Perhaps. I believe they mentioned that they'd be airing a Spiderpus spin-off marathon after this one, which sounds like it could be quite entertaining." Then, feeling a little bit bad for lying to him, she poked her head out again. "You could both join me, if you like."

Steven hesitated, trying to think of a nice way to decline. "Thanks, but um, it sounds a little bit too scary for me. Maybe we should do something else?" he suggested.

"Like what?" Lapis asked.

"Well…" He thought for a moment. "I know! Why don't you show me your room while Peridot's watching the rest of her movie? The rest of the barn looks great," he added enthusiastically, pretending he hadn't noticed the duct tape still wrapped around the support columns.

Lapis quickly pictured her room in her mind. Were all the leftover packets of Jello safely hidden with Jasper's bubbled gem? Had she put the cushions back properly on the window seat? And of course, she needed to move the cabinet she'd placed over the trapdoor. "Let me just clean up quickly," she said. "I kinda left my books all over the place."

"OK." Steven dropped his backpack with a _clunk_ and watched with slight puzzlement as Lapis stepped outside rather than heading towards the trapdoor. "I guess she just likes to fly in," he muttered to himself.

He waited for a few minutes, shuddering a little at the sounds of bones crunching from the television. Then the trapdoor opened and Lapis popped her head through. "OK, you can come in now."

Steven zipped up the rungs into the room and looked around in fascination. The last time he'd seen the room was at the pool party, when it was still open plan and the bookcases were empty. "Amethyst sure gave you a lot of books," he commented, looking at the packed shelves. "Some of them look brand-new!"

"Oh… yeah. She was very generous." Lapis decided not to mention that at least half of her books had been bubbled from various shops in Empire City when she'd gone looking for Jello. Even though she was an alien with no money, she didn't think he'd approve. "Do you like my leaves?" she asked, changing the subject and gesturing towards the wall where she'd hung loose branches and vines of ivy from random nails. "I need some curtains for the window and a DVD player for my TV would be nice too, but I'm quite happy with it," she said proudly.

"It's really nice." Steven turned slowly, admiring the room. "Maybe you-"

There was a sudden _crash_ from the room outside and the two jumped violently. "Oops!" Peridot called.

Steven knelt down, stuck his head out of the trapdoor and blinked in surprise at the sight of the smashed multimedia player on the floor. "What happened?"

On the other side of the barn, Peridot tilted her head and gave him a look of wide-eyed innocence. "I stood up and bumped it. I suppose that means we can't watch anything else today."

"Uh, OK." Steven withdrew back into Lapis's room. "I was gonna suggest you ask Peridot to make you a DVD player, but uh, I think it might be a while."

"That's OK." Lapis smiled at him. "I'll manage."

xXx

Confession time - I really like those crappy SyFy movies. I know they're bad, I know the science is made-up nonsense, but they're so much fun! Sharkasaurus was initially just a silly parody of the 'two animals mashed together' ones (and would you look at that, it turns out Dinoshark is an actual movie that actually exists and I have to watch it immediately) but when I started writing that they'd filled in the gaps in the dinosaur DNA with shark DNA, I thought 'wait... this is beginning to sound a bit like Jurassic Park' and Sharkasaurus Park was born. The 'based on a true movie' bit is from 2 Lava 2 Lantula, which does open with those words, presumably for the reason Steven outlined.

Once again, Lapis's life on Homeworld is made up, because we still don't know anything about her. I like to think she was happy once, she needs a bit of happiness in her life. But I also don't think she had access to anywhere near as much water there as she does here. It just makes her too powerful. And while water is necessary for organic life to flourish, it's not a mineral (although weirdly enough, ice is!?) and therefore gems probably don't need it or miss it, and Peridot not knowing what rain is would appear to back up that theory.


	35. Poker Face

Chapter Thirty-Five – Poker Face

"I was thinking," Steven began a few minutes later, "we could play some board games?"

"Sure," Lapis said agreeably.

Peridot picked up a few more shards of glass and glanced over at him. "How are these board games performed?" she asked curiously.

"It depends on the game," Steven explained. "Like, in Slides and Ladders, you roll a die and move your counter-it's a little bit of plastic," he hastily added as Peridot shot the kitchen counter a look of confusion. "You move it around the board and if you land on a ladder, you move forward, and if you land on a slide, you move back. And the first person to get to end of the board is the winner."

Lapis bit her lip. She didn't like to criticize Steven, but… "It sounds very simplistic."

"Well, yes," Steven admitted. "But that one's just an example. There's lots of other board games and they can get very complicated. Like, there's Genuis!, where your counter is a little circle and when you move it, you have to answer a question about a subject, and if you're on the Genius! Square, you get a little coloured piece of plastic to put in your circle. And there's six colours, and you have to get one of each."

"Yeah, that does sound a little more complicated," Lapis conceded.

"Yeah. But a lot of the questions are Earth sports and history and stuff you guys wouldn't know, so that's probably not a good game to play." He thought hard for a moment. "There's also Art Thief, where you have to buy paintings and hope they're not forgeries, Murder Mansion, where you have to work out clues to figure out who killed somebody, um, Rummage, where you get little tokens with letters on and you have to make words out of them… oh, and of course, there's the ultimate property-owning board game - Empire!" He struck a pose. "Believed to be the number one cause of family feuds and broken friendships across America! Will you become the ultimate property tycoon… or does bankruptcy beckon? Own it all with Empire! We don't play it very often," he continued in a more conversational tone as the other two gems reeled back in amazement. "Not since that incident three years ago when Amethyst caught Dad stealing from the bank and Garnet was found to have Fifth Avenue hidden in her hair."

A moment of silence followed this sales pitch and Steven sighed. "Or there's the Crying Breakfast Friends game, but last time I looked under the stairs, I couldn't find it. I think somebody's moved it."

Peridot placed the last few fragments of broken circuitry on her worktable and dusted off her hands. "They all sound quite bizarre, but I'm willing to give these board games a try."

Lapis nodded. "Empire sounds…" She thought for a moment. "Interesting."

Steven grinned widely. "Let me empty out my backpack, then I'll run back and get some." He picked up the bag and carried it over to Peridot's worktable. "I don't know if any of this stuff would be any use to you," he said with faux casualness. "But Amethyst asked me to bring it over."

Then before Peridot's astonished eyes, he tipped a small arsenal of weaponry onto the table. "Wow, thanks!" she said, picking up a small but lethal-looking mace.

Lapis picked up a slingshot and thoughtfully turned it over in her hands. Peridot was uncoordinated, but even so, the thought of her having access to all this weaponry made her a little uncomfortable. "Is-is it safe for us to keep these here?" she said tentatively. "What if Jasper shows up?"

Steven looked a little puzzled by her comment and glanced out of the open door. "If Jasper shows up here, wouldn't you just be able to beat her up with the lake? Anyway, I think these are all a bit too small for Jasper to use. Garnet said they were probably all Ruby weapons."

"Well, what if the Rubies came back?" Lapis quickly interjected. "And I wasn't here?"

"Um…" Steven glanced over at Peridot. "Well in that case, it would mean Peridot would be able to defend herself for a while. Until they fused into a giant Ruby again, at least," he admitted.

Peridot scoffed at that. "As if I'd allow myself to be captured by that bunch of clods!" She crossed her arms for emphasis. "Obviously I'd call for backup and then assess the situation from afar."

"You mean you'd run away," Lapis translated.

"Anyway," Peridot continued, ignoring Lapis's comment and pushing the weapons away, "you can thank Amethyst, but actually, these will not be necessary."

Steven's face fell. "But-"

"Because I am going to learn to summon my own gem weapon," she interrupted. There was a look of fierce determination on her face as she spoke that left the other two with no doubt that she meant it.

"Well, keep them anyway," Steven said, pushing them back. "Try them out for a bit. Maybe they'll help, maybe one of them will, you know, feel _right._ " He picked up the empty bag and took a step back. "I'll be right back."

Lapis watched him go and then turned back to Peridot, who was turning something weird and pointy around in her hands. "Do you know how to use that?" she asked.

Peridot shrugged. "I don't even know what it _is,_ " she confessed. "Homeworld hasn't used weapons like this for a long time."

"Maybe we should put them away in a safe place," Lapis suggested hopefully.

"Maybe," Peridot said absently. She put down the unknown weapon and picked up the mace again. "Now _this_ appears to be fairly straightforward."

She gave it an experimental wave and Lapis took a quick step back. " _Not_ in the barn!"

"Right. Of course." Peridot quickly put the mace back down.

"I'm back!" Steven skidded to a halt just inside the barn entrance, his backpack bulging once again. "I brought Rummage, Murder Mansion, Empire and This Is Your Life. And a packet of cards," he added, removing each one from his bag as he spoke. "So…" He placed a hopeful hand on the Empire box. "Which one should we play first?"

xXxXx

"You have been caught making fraudulent tax claims. Go to jail. Do not pass Go, do not collect two hundred dollars."

Steven groaned and moved his car over to jail. "I was four squares from Go!" he complained.

"Well, you shouldn't have cheated on your taxes then," Lapis joked. She picked up the dice and looked down at the board. If she could roll a two, she'd be able to buy the water company. Community Chest or Chance would also be good. But anywhere else would either put her in Peridot's territory or send her to jail. Deciding jail was the lesser of the two evils, she dropped the dice and crossed her fingers. "No!"

"Ha! Pacific Boulevard!" Peridot gloated and shuffled her property cards. "And I have two houses there, so that's four hundred dollars."

Lapis glowered and handed over the money. Her finances were now in a troubling state and she'd already mortgaged all her properties. To make matters worse, Peridot then rolled a seven and brought Park Avenue, meaning she could now build houses there, which she immediately did. If she hadn't hated the other gem before the game, she would've by now.

"Double four!" Steven cheered and moved his car into Free Parking. "OK Lapis, your turn."

"Community Chest, Community Chest, please be Community Chest," Lapis chanted softly to herself. She rolled the dice and valiantly choked back the curse that rose in her throat.

Peridot clenched her fists in delight. "Park Avenue!"

Lapis scowled and handed over the last of her money. "I hate you."

Peridot chuckled, clearly under the impression that Lapis was joking. "Hey, I might land on Aegean Avenue, then you'd get back…" She leaned over to look at the card and cackled loudly. "Five dollars!"

When Steven was gone, she was _so_ going to hurt Peridot. "Just roll the dice already," she muttered.

To her annoyance, Peridot skipped right over Lapis's few properties and the dreaded Income Tax and landed on Chance. "You win first prize in a beauty contest," Steven read aloud. "Collect fifty dollars."

"Was it a beauty contest for dogs?" Lapis muttered, glaring down at the board. Silence followed her words and she glanced up to see Steven and Peridot staring at her with identical expressions of astonishment.

"Lapis… that was kinda mean," Steven said slowly as he handed Peridot a fifty dollar bill.

"Sorry. I just… sorry." Lapis shuffled awkwardly. "Can we play something else?" she asked abruptly. "I'm not really enjoying this game."

"That's because you're losing," Peridot pointed out.

"It's not because I'm losing!" Lapis snapped. "I just don't like it! And it's a stupid system anyway! Why should you be able to double the rent just because you own all the properties on one colour?"

"Did you know, the game was actually created to show that allowing people to form economic empires with little regulation and force other people into bankruptcy is a bad thing," Steven quickly butted in. "So there's that."

"Are you saying winning is bad?" Peridot demanded, horrified. " _I'm_ winning! I wouldn't have tried to win if you'd told us it was bad!"

Steven shook his head. "No-"

"Does that mean that by losing, I'm actually winning?" Lapis interrupted.

Steven shook his head again. "No! It's just a game! It's bad in real life, but in the game, you're _supposed_ to win all the money! Look, let's move onto to something else," he added hastily as memories of Amethyst and Pearl furiously pulling cards and money out of Garnet's hair came back to him. "Peridot owns three quarters of the board and has the most money, so she wins. Let's play Murder Mansion now."

"OK," the two gems sullenly agreed.

They played Murder Mansion for a while, but Peridot's extremely logical mind meant that she was able to deduce the murderer and their weapon of choice long before Steven and Lapis did, so after she'd won four times in a row, they took a break so Steven could cook some lunch in the newly repaired kitchen. After he was done, he showed them a few card games, and Lapis found she was much more successful at those, thanks to a lot of practice at hiding her emotions.

Eventually, Steven stood up, stretched and glanced outside at the darkening sky. "I should go home now," he said a little regretfully. "But I'll come over again soon!" He grinned at them. "Maybe for a sleepover!"

"That would be nice," Peridot said agreeably. "I'll begin construction on the sleep chamber shortly."

"And if you fixed the multimedia player too, we could finally watch Camp Pining Hearts." As he'd expected, they both tensed again at that suggestion. Weird. "Or maybe not, we could watch something else if you want," he quickly amended.

"We still have a lot of Connie's DVD's to watch," Lapis said. "So we should probably finish those first."

Steven nodded. "That makes sense." He picked up his backpack, said his farewells and walked away.

As soon as he was out of sight, Peridot turned to Lapis. "You said you were going to replace my DVD's, you need to replace them!" she hissed. "He's not going to stop asking about them!"

"I'm working on it!" Lapis retorted. "They don't stock it anywhere in Beach City." This much, at least, was partly true – she'd had a quick glance around the few shops to see if any of them had it in stock, not that she intended to replace it herself, she just wanted to see how difficult it would be for Peridot to do so. "I'll have a look around Empire City." This, however, was not true. "I've got some stuff to do in my room, I'll see you later." And with that, she disappeared up the ladder and into her room.

Once she was alone, she shut the trapdoor and carefully placed the cabinet back over it so it couldn't be opened from the other side. Then once again, she removed the cushions from her window seat and moved the lid aside. But this time she ignored Jasper's gem and took out several other items instead.

Where to put them? Could she bubble them and send them to the forest for the moment? No, animals might pop the bubble and then they might get lost. She reached behind her and traced the gem on her back. It was in an awkward spot to reach, which was why she didn't like to store things in it, but it would have to do.

She flew out of the window and landed quietly beside the barn doorway. Peeping around the wooden frame, she watched as Peridot stirred the pieces of her broken multimedia player with her fingers. "Can you fix it?" she asked, taking a step inside.

Peridot picked up a circuit board and frowned. "Not immediately. I'm going to need more glass. I'll ask Amethyst," she added, mostly to herself. "I was intending to ask her if she could spare another toaster anyway."

"Steven suggested I ask you if you could make me a DVD player as well," Lapis said, taking another step inside. "I know you have several projects to deal with at the moment, but when you're done, would you mind?"

"That shouldn't be a problem," Peridot said confidently. "They're easy enough to make. Actually, I may already have the correct parts for that."

"That's great!" Lapis beamed at her. "You're such a good friend." Peridot looked pleased by the praise, and Lapis pressed on. "As a matter of fact, I was wondering… no…"

She looked away, pretending to reconsider her words, and as she hoped, Peridot took the bait. "Wondering what?"

"Well…" Lapis took a deep breath. "I was wondering if you'd let me read your diary?"

xXx

It really is silly, the amount of Googling I did for Empire. I'm sure I don't need to tell you what board game that's a parody of, right? Can you work out the others? Most should be easy, but I'm not sure how popular Art Thief is. I really only added that one because it was me and my sister's favourite game when we were younger.

Ruby weapons! While I'm 90% sure than all the Rubies in war would've been fused into giant mega Ruby kaiju's, I'm also pretty sure they would've had smaller weapons for those moments when they were broken apart. Imagine how horrifying it would be if you punched a giant Ruby and it suddenly splintered into fifteen little Rubies who then all swarmed you with daggers!


	36. Dear Diary

Chapter Thirty-Six – Dear Diary

For a moment, Peridot just stared at her. "Excuse me?"

"Would you let me read you diary? Please?" Lapis took another step forward and smiled hopefully, although truth be told, she had no intention of accepting 'no' as an answer at this point.

"Well…" Peridot fidgeted a little. "I'd rather you didn't. It's private."

"Oh." Lapis let her face fall. "But… I thought we were friends."

"We _are_ friends!" Peridot insisted. "I just-"

"Are we?" Lapis interrupted. "If Steven asked to read it, would you let _him_?"

Peridot hesitated at that. Would she let Steven read her diary? He had, after all, let her read a page of his. "Well-"

"I mean," Lapis continued, "I've told you so much about me and my past and my life on Homeworld." She stepped fully into the barn and squashed the urge to start pacing. She'd expected the resistance, but that didn't make it any less annoying. "When I got here and you gave me that tape recorder, you said it helped with the loneliness and it didn't have to be that way for me. And I know it's not exactly the same, but you said you were going to write about how you joined the Crystal Gems, and I figured that included the bit before when you _weren't_ a Crystal Gem and I just wanted to see how it helped you and if maybe it might help me too."

"I… let me think about it," Peridot said hesitantly.

Sensing that if she pushed any further, Peridot would only begin to get annoyed and dig her heels in, Lapis held her hands out in surrender. "I understand. I've-I've misinterpreted our relationship. Forget it. It was a stupid idea anyway." She turned around and made for the door, hoping the other gem would call her back because if this didn't do the trick, she was going to have to find a way to steal the damn thing.

Thankfully, she'd only taken a single step out onto the grass when Peridot called after her. "Wait!"

Lapis stopped and turned around, looking back expectantly at the other gem. "What is it?"

Peridot bit her lip. Everything she'd ever seen on Camp Pining Hearts told her that what she was about to do was a bad idea… but Camp Pining Hearts wasn't real. Her friends were real. Steven had shown her part of his diary and it had been fine. Surely she could do the same for Lapis?

She reached up to her gem and withdrew the notebook. "Here. You can read it."

Lapis's eyes lit up greedily. She'd been pretty confident that she could get Peridot to hand it over, but had assumed the other gem would insist she only read a little bit under supervision, and had planned to make a dash for it as soon as it was in her hands. If Peridot just… handed it over, she might not even have to leave the barn. Then again, she thought, she didn't really want the other gem hovering around the other side of the trapdoor, asking if she was done yet. "Thanks! You're the best!" she exclaimed and took the book from the other gem.

"Aheh." Peridot rubbed the back of her neck nervously. "I um, hope you find it useful."

"Oh, I'm sure I will." And before Peridot could make any further comment, Lapis turned and flew out of the barn.

The sky was darkening, but she remembered Steven telling her that the sun rose in the east, so she flew in that direction over land and water until the barn was far behind her and the sun was higher in the sky.

Then she found a quiet place to land and began to read.

xXxXx

 _Dear Diary_

 _I am not entirely sure why I am supposed to title my entries as if dictating them to a sentient being. That is the way it is done in Camp Pining Hearts, but it is becoming increasingly apparent to me that many things in Camp Pining Hearts have been exaggerated for entertainment purposes. However, Steven's diary entries also begin in this manner, so I can only conclude that this is indeed the correct way in which to write a diary._

 _So, Diary, I believe I should begin by introducing myself. I am Peridot Facet-2F5L Cut-5XG. At least, that is how I was identified from the other Peridots back on Homeworld. Here, however, I am simply 'Peridot', one of a kind and a proud member of the Crystal Gems... although there was nothing 'simple' about my recruitment into the group._

 _My story begins back on Homeworld, many months ago, when my manager informed me that I had been especially chosen by Yellow Diamond for a top-security mission to an old, abandoned colony…_

xXxXx

Peridot paused in the middle of reconstructing a frame for her multimedia player to glance out of the barn. The sky was beginning to lighten as the sun rose, and Lapis still hadn't come back with her diary. She told herself that Lapis was probably just a slow reader, that her handwriting was difficult to decipher and that after reading about her incredible experiences here on Earth, she'd had to stop and let it all sink in, but the feeling of foreboding that had crept over her while she was handing over the book refused to go away.

She shook her head and returned to her work. Camp Pining Hearts was filled with television lies, she reminded herself sternly. And anyway, all the drama about diaries there was stuff like two campers being in love with the same person, or seeing somebody doing kissing with somebody they weren't supposed to. The most scandalous thing in Peridot's diary was that she'd attempted fusion with Garnet.

Although… she paused again and drummed her fingers on the table. Her diary didn't just mention that she'd attempted fusion, it explained why she'd abandoned the attempt. She'd written extensively about her Era-2 status and her lack of powers and her concern that she might never develop the powers that the other gems took for granted. She hadn't told anyone here about that, she hadn't even told Steven. Perhaps Lapis had found that information so incredibly shocking that she'd-

There was a faint noise from outside and she looked up hopefully. To her immense relief, she saw Lapis land on the grass just beyond the doorway, and dropped her tools to greet her. "Lapis! You're back!"

"You!" Lapis snarled. "How dare you!?"

Peridot stumbled to a halt in confusion. "How dare I what?"

Lapis whipped the diary out from behind her back and shook it in front of Peridot's face. "How could you write such horrible things about me!?"

"W-what?" Peridot took a hasty step backwards before her diary took off the end of her nose and tried to remember what she'd written about her roommate. There'd been a few things, of course, but she couldn't think of anything that could've caused any offence and after that time when she'd inadvertently hurt Amethyst's feelings, she'd made a genuine effort to think before speaking – or writing, as the case was. "What are you talking about?"

Lapis narrowed her eyes and then flipped the book open to the relevant page. " _Lapis Lazuli_ ," she read, " _continues to bring down the atmosphere of every room she enters with her maudlin moods. It was depressing enough on the ship, but at least there I could simply switch off the camera so I didn't have to look at her. The lack of company here in the barn continues to be a concern, but quite honestly, it is a relief when she leaves and I don't have to see her miserable face for a few hours._ "

"What!?" Peridot said again, bewildered. "I didn't write that!" She reached forward to look at the page herself, but Lapis unflurled her wings and flew out of reach.

"Right, yeah, sure," Lapis scoffed. "And I suppose you didn't write this either?" She flicked through the pages again. " _The Crystal Gem's rejection of all things to do with Homeworld is especially apparent when it comes to their treatment of Amethyst. No effort at all has been made to instil her with the basic social norms expected of an ordinary Quartz soldier and as a result, her development has been woefully stunted. On Homeworld, she would have been shattered long ago, not because of her defective status, but because of her complete lack of respect for any authority and sometimes, when she is at her most obnoxious, I find myself wondering if perhaps Homeworld have the right idea. Their methods may be brutal, but there's no denying that they are effective._ "

Peridot's jaw dropped in horror. "I _didn't!_ "

"And how about this one?" Lapis continued mercilessly, flying further out of reach. " _I've tried many times to be understanding, but the perma-fusion continues to disgust me. When I first saw her, I believed her continued existence was a direct threat, designed to intimidate me, but the truth is almost worse. At least when Percy and Paulette insist upon doing that revolting tongue thing, they eventually stop!_ "

"I didn't write it!" Peridot wailed, making a hopeless leap into the air to try and drag Lapis back to ground level. "I _didn't!_ "

"Are you sure?" Lapis waved the open book at her. "I mean, it's _your_ handwriting."

"Of course I'm sure!" Peridot argued. "I know what I wrote, I didn't write anything like that!" She made another lunge for the book, missed, and fell on her face. "Ow."

"Oh!" Lapis gasped theatrically. "Wait, I seem to have made a mistake here. You didn't write this diary at all!" Then to Peridot's astonishment, she reached behind her and pulled another, identical notebook from behind her back. " _This_ is the one you wrote!" She opened it and placed it on top of the first book. "An easy mistake to make though, they both just look so similar."

"Whu-what?" Peridot shook her head, hopelessly lost. "I don't understand."

"Of course you don't," Lapis said scornfully. "You're an idiot. I mean," she added, as Peridot's jaw dropped, "yes, you were programmed with all sorts of boring technical know-how, but that doesn't make you _smart_ , it just makes you another kind of soldier in Homeworld's armies, following orders for the Great Diamond Authority. Tell me," she added, fixing the other gem with a steely glare. "Did you actually ever have an independent thought before you came to this planet, or did you just carry out all your orders without question, like a good little robot?"

Unsure whether or not she was actually supposed to answer this, Peridot decided to stay silent and concentrated on climbing back to her feet instead. Unfortunately for her, Lapis wasn't interested in a passive audience, and flew a little closer, hovering intimidating over the smaller gem. "Well?"

The horrible truth was that Lapis was right, but Peridot hated to admit it. "My initiative was praised on many occasions," she said instead.

"And how many times was that, two?" Lapis laughed at her own put-down. "Please, we both know the most initiative you ever showed was in ordering that I be dragged back to this miserable planet."

Peridot gulped. "I-I'm sorry-"

"I don't care if you're _sorry_!" Lapis snapped. She made a sudden movement and Peridot flinched, but all that happened was that the two diaries were suddenly encased in a blue bubble. She gave it a tap and they vanished. " _Sorry_ doesn't magically undo what you did to me, _sorry_ doesn't make it better! _Sorry_ doesn't stop me from being trapped here again on the same planet that was my _fucking prison_ for _five thousand years!_ "

Behind her, the water in the lake began to splash ominously and Peridot took another step backwards as fear began to well up inside her. "B-but you said…" she began, and then trailed off. The feeling of foreboding that had been with her all night intensified as Lapis laughed derisively.

"Yes, I remember. I said I was past it and we were friends now. Except it turns out you don't just get past five millennia of imprisonment in less than five weeks, so no, we're not friends." She smiled bitterly down at the other gem. "Then again, I also said just now that you're an idiot. That one's true at least. I mean, there were a couple of times when I really thought I'd gone too far. Like when I had my water clones attack you?" She laughed again. "I thought to myself, _slow down, Lapis, there's no way she's stupid enough to think you're doing this for her benefit,_ and yet here you are, surpassing my expectations at every turn. I'm almost impressed."

By this point, Peridot was trembling. She still didn't quite understand exactly what was going on, but one thing was obvious – Lapis had never actually really forgiven her and she wasn't her friend. There was only one thing she could think of that might help. "I-I'll go," she offered desperately. "Like you wanted me to in the beginning-"

Without warning, chains shot out of the water and wrapped around her and Peridot screamed in terror, certain that she was about to be dragged into the bottom of the lake. "Oh do stop it, you're not going anywhere," Lapis said over her cries, rolling her eyes. She waited patiently until Peridot finally stopped struggling and collapsed in defeat. "Are you done?" she asked sarcastically.

"Please, let me go," Peridot begged. Tears began to well up in her eyes. "What do you want? I'll do whatever you want!"

"What do I want? Haven't you been paying attention?" Lapis snapped. "We were just talking about things I'd said. Do you remember what I said to you less than two days ago? Shall I remind you?" She landed on the grass again and stepped forward until she was standing directly in front of the other gem. Then she made a gesture with her fingers and a chain jerked around Peridot's neck, forcing her to look up at Lapis. " _I remember how it felt to be alone and powerless and trapped in a hostile place,_ " she hissed down at her. "And what I want is to repay you for every single moment you made me feel that way."

xXx

Oh Peridot! Camp Pining Hearts warned you!

So, there's a lot of themes about copying and reflection in Lapis - stuck in a mirror, only able to copy and play back what people say to her, water clones mirroring the CG's moves, replaying her history for Steven in the water - so it made sense to me that she'd be able to easily copy Peridot's handwriting. She's already been secretly altering the barn plan measurements to mess with her head, after all.

Have any of you ever read The Demon Headmaster? It was one of my favourite books when I was a kid. Anyway, there's one bit, just after they've discovered what happens in assembly, where Lloyd suggests that it's a quick way to create a school full of geniuses, and Dinah points out that they're only being made to parrot facts, not to actually think, and this sounds very similar to how Homeworld behaves - gems are made for one purpose and are 'born' knowing what they need to know, and deviation from this path is not encouraged. The Headmaster even 'programs' students to respond to questions about him by saying "the Headmaster is a marvellous man and this is the best school I've ever been to", which really reminds me a lot of certain gems and their devotion towards their Diamonds. Thankfully, like Peridot, the children were ultimately able to break their programming and think for themselves.

I debated for a while whether I really should have Lapis swear, before I eventually decided that if Molly Weasly can get angry enough to call Bellatrix a bitch in the heat of battle, then Lapis can get angry enough to swear about being stuck on Earth all over again. And she is very angry about it indeed.

Anyway, I'm afraid from this point on, much like 2016 in general, things are going to be increasingly shitty for Peridot. Please let me know if you think I need more warnings, I'm trying not to make things too awful because this is for Blue, but then, Blue is somebody who deeply enjoyed Watership Down, with its fields of blood and rabbits being trapped and gassed to death, so she's not the best benchmark for me to make judgements!


	37. Another Brick In The Wall

Chapter Thirty-Seven – Another Brick In The Wall

For several seconds, Peridot could only stare up at Lapis in silence while she tried to process her words. Then she began to struggle again, suddenly terrified that at any moment, the chains would drag her into the water.

"Of for… I told you to stop that," Lapis chided. "I'm not about to pollute my lake by trapping the likes of you in it."

She snapped her fingers and the chains fell away. Peridot, who hadn't been expecting that, fell over backwards. She quickly scooted backwards, back into the barn. "Wh-what _are_ you going to do?" she asked warily, rubbing her sore wrists.

"Do you know, I've been giving it quite a lot of thought over the last two weeks and I'm still not entirely sure yet," Lapis admitted cheerfully. She began to pace back and forth in front of the doorway, looking thoughtful. "Obviously, first of all, you're not to leave this barn without my permission."

Peridot narrowed her eyes, wondering just how the other gem intended to enforce that. She was pretty certain Lapis didn't intend to stand guard over her forever, but what was she going to do to stop her from running away the next time she flew off to visit Steven? The only lock was a rusty old padlock and chain they'd never actually bothered to use - the barn had never been designed to be a prison.

As if she could read her thoughts, Lapis stopped pacing and smiled nastily at her. "Of course, if you did try to leave, I'd be forced to show the Crystal Gems your nasty little diary. I'd go straight to Garnet and say _oh Garnet, I'm so worried, I know it's a terrible invasion of privacy, but Peridot left her diary out and I couldn't resist having a little peep and there's some things in there that I found quite alarming!_ "

"They wouldn't believe you," Peridot retorted in a slightly wobbly voice, but even as she said it, she could feel the doubt creep into her mind.

"Are you sure about that?" Lapis asked. "After all, they were quite ready to believe you were about to sell them all out to Yellow Diamond-"

"Yes, but that was _then_ ," Peridot interrupted without thinking. Lapis frowned at her and she recoiled, but continued to speak. "Th-they saw me stand up to her, they saw me call her a clod! They saw her detonate the communicator! They're my friends and they trust me," she finished proudly and climbed back to her feet once again. "So whatever lies you've written in that book, I know they'll see through them!"

"They trust you?" Lapis said softly. "Then tell me… why did you panic so badly when the Wailing Stone ended up here?"

"Um." Peridot gulped.

"In fact…" Lapis began to pace again. "You wrote quite an emotional little entry about that in your diary. Your real one, that is," she clarified with a shark-like grin. "You were terribly worried they might find out and get angry with you again. They get quite violent when they're angry, don't they? Smashing up the computer on the moon base, destroying your robot… I wonder how angry they'd be if they found out you were planning to build your own spaceship and take Steven back to Homeworld as a peace offering for Yellow Diamond?"

For a brief moment, Peridot was rendered speechless. "I-I wouldn't-I never-Steven's my best friend!" she spluttered.

"He's MY best friend!" Lapis exploded. She stomped forward and Peridot shrank back in fear as the other gem loomed over her. "Mine! Not yours! He doesn't need you! And he won't _want_ you when he finds out what you've written about him!"

For several seconds, there was tense silence. Then Lapis began to laugh softly. "None of them need you. None of them want you. And none of them trust you. You know that. That's what you were scared about."

Peridot shook her head. "That's not true. It's not-"

"How many times have they come to visit you here in the barn since the Cluster was defeated?" Lapis interrupted. "Other than a brief visit after you threw a tantrum to remind them you exist, how often has Pearl been here? You spent _hours_ combing through junk in Amethyst's room, has she ever come over to see what you've done with it? And Garnet?" She waved at the duct-taped support beams. "I had water clones drop half the barn on your head and she never saw a thing!" She gave the closest support beam a punch for emphasis and the entire structure creaked ominously. "As soon as the Cluster was dealt with, they left you here and forgot about you. You already told Steven yourself that you miss Homeworld, do you really think they won't believe that you'd rather go back and do something useful with your existence instead of sitting here in a smelly wooden box, waiting for them to remember you?"

"It's not true," Peridot whispered helplessly.

It was all true. She'd written those fears down herself in the diary she'd so stupidly handed over because she desperately wanted Lapis to like her.

Her eyes burned and she felt a tear run down her cheek. She quickly reached up and scrubbed it away, hoping Lapis hadn't seen it because Lapis would only mock her because Lapis didn't like her at _all._

And her friends didn't care all that much about her either. Pearl thought she was useless, she'd said as much. Amethyst had given her stuff but wasn't interested in finding out what Peridot had done with any of it. And Garnet… Garnet had apparently looked into her future to see if she'd be any use in the mission, but she obviously wasn't looking very hard the rest of the time because she hadn't seen Lapis destroy her DVDs, or attack her with the clones, or the nightmare that was happening to her right now.

Steven? _He_ cared, she was sure of that at least, but would he still care if Lapis showed him that diary? Or would he think she'd betrayed him again?

Her body heaved as she tried to choke back a sob, but the tears began to flow from her eyes faster than she could wipe them away and Lapis smiled maliciously. "You will not leave this barn without my permission," she said again, taking a step back. "If you do, I will take great pleasure in completely obliterating what little relationship you have left with the Crystal Gems, and I will sit back and watch them tear you apart. In addition," she continued, "you will make no attempt to contact the Crystal Gems about any of this. Which reminds me, give me your phone."

She waited while Peridot wiped her eyes again and pulled the cell phone out of her gem with shaking fingers. And once it was in her hands, Lapis simply crushed it, as she'd done with the tape recorder a few weeks earlier, before bubbling it and sending it away. "We both know they wouldn't believe you," she carried on, as if there'd been no break in the conversation. "And I would make life _extremely_ unpleasant for you if you tried it."

Then she clapped her hands together, making the other gem jump violently, and smiled brightly. "I think that's enough to start with, don't you? Now, I'm going to go and see Steven." She turned her back on Peridot and began walking back towards the open door. "We'll see how well you manage to follow those two rules while I'm gone, OK?" she called back over her shoulder, and without waiting for an answer, she took off into the sky.

For several minutes, Peridot stared blankly out of the door as she struggled to get her emotions back under control. Her thoughts were in turmoil and she still didn't entirely understand what had happened, only that Lapis hated her, had always hated her, and had used Peridot's desire for forgiveness and friendship to hurt her. She wiped her face again and tried to think.

Lapis had said she wasn't to leave the barn or talk to the other Crystal Gems, but she hadn't said what she was supposed to do if anyone showed up here. And people _had_ come to the barn. Admittedly not many, but Steven had been there just the day before. And maybe the reason the other gems hadn't been to visit her was because she was always the one visiting them? Surely if she stopped showing up, they'd come to find out why? She was supposed to train with Pearl at the weekend, if she failed to turn up, would the other gem come looking for her?

It was a slim hope, but it was the only one she had. While Lapis had that horrid fake diary, she simply didn't dare do anything else. If she could somehow get hold of it, she'd be in a position to fight back.

Where would Lapis keep the diaries? She rubbed her wrists absently for a moment, deep in thought. It would be difficult to get a hold of them if Lapis did as Peridot had done, and put them in her gem. But Lapis hadn't done that. She'd bubbled them. So where had she sent the bubbles?

She slowly raised her eyes to look at the trapdoor to Lapis's room. Then she walked hesitantly over to the open doorway and peeked outside, including twisting her head up to look at the roof in case it Lapis was hiding up there, waiting for her to step outside – the fact that she'd left the doors open at all suggested a trap. However, there didn't seem to be any sign of the other gem, so she stepped back inside the barn and dragged the doors closed. If Lapis wasn't around, then presumably they'd been left open to taunt her. If she suddenly showed up again now, she'd probably be annoyed with Peridot for closing them, but she might be able to get away this one time with it by saying that she didn't want the temptation there.

The truth, of course, was that she didn't want Lapis creeping up on her.

Once the doors were closed and barred, she walked over to the ladder and climbed it. She raised a hand to push it open and suddenly froze. What if it really was a trap, and Lapis was actually in her room right now? After all, she used the window far more often than she used the trapdoor. With that thought, Peridot withdrew her hand again and instead, pressed her ear up against the trapdoor. She couldn't hear any noise from within, but that didn't mean Lapis wasn't in there, waiting for her.

She thought hard for a moment, and then slid back down the ladder, walked over to the kitchen counter and pulled a drinking glass out of the cupboard underneath it. Whenever the campers on Camp Pining Hearts wanted to eavesdrop on somebody, they would hold a glass up to the door and listen through that. However, unlike the other television lies, Peridot understood the physics behind this trick well enough to know it could actually work. However, before she could begin heading back over to the ladder, there was a thunderous banging from the doors and she almost dropped the glass with fright.

A moment later, the wooden bar across the doors splintered and the doors burst open. Lapis stomped inside, looking furious. "Leave those open," she snapped.

The little bit of bravery and defiance she'd managed to muster up in Lapis's absence shrivelled up and died in the face of the other gem's anger, and Peridot could only nod silently. She wondered what had happened to piss Lapis off so badly; surely her foul mood couldn't just be because of the doors?

"And what are you doing with that?" Lapis asked, irritated by the other gem's silence.

Peridot looked down at the glass in her hands and gulped. "Um, I…" She wracked her brain for an excuse. "I-I thought, if I can't go to the Temple, I um, I'd try making my own glass for my multimedia player?" she stammered. She quickly ducked back down and pulled another couple of random glasses out of the cupboard. "I um, managed to collect most of the broken glass, but I'm going to need more in order to make a large enough sheet of glass to meet my needs." Lapis didn't appear to be completely convinced by this, so Peridot quickly changed the subject. "You're um, you're back sooner than I expected."

Lapis scowled. "Steven's busy," she said shortly. "He's being a roadie for one of his stupid, organic, human friends. Whatever that means."

"Oh, well, a roadie is generally somebody who travels around with a band on tour," Peridot quickly explained, drawing upon the little knowledge she'd gained on this subject from the story arc of season fifteen, when several of the camp counsellors had formed a band and entered a musical talent contest to gain enough money to stop the camp from being brought by an evil property developer. "They do pretty much everything except actually play the music-"

"Oh my stars, I DON'T CARE! Shut up!" Lapis exclaimed irritably.

She made a quick gesture towards the open doors and before Peridot could react, a blob of water flew in, settled around her head and immediately solidified into ice. She stumbled with the sudden weight change and grabbed a hold of the kitchen counter in an effort to stay upright. She tried to scream, but her jaw was frozen in place and her fingers scrabbled at the place where the ice met her neck, but she couldn't break free.

On the other side of the ice, she could just make out the blurry form of Lapis as the other gem approached her. "That's much better," she heard faintly, and then the distorted sound of mocking laughter rang in her ears.

xXx

Would the Crystal Gems fall for the fake diary? Actually, they probably wouldn't. Message Received was a massive fuck-up for everyone involved, but it's also the reason why Garnet, at least, would want to make further enquiries. Last time, they instantly believed the worst and went on the attack, and they were wrong. But then again, the diary contains a direct threat to Steven, which might override a desire for caution. Either way, Peridot knows now that Lapis can put on a very convincing performance, and she can't be sure they wouldn't react in exactly the same way as they did last time. And it doesn't help that she hasn't had real friends before, so she's not confident her friends like her as much as she likes them - after all, she's just had one person she thought was her friend throw it all back in her face, and Lapis is right when she points out that other than Steven, Pearl is the only Crystal Gem who's visited, and she only did so after Peridot questioned her place on the team. So, it's not certain whether the gems would fall for it or not, but Peridot has enough doubt that she dare not risk it, and the threat is enough for Lapis to keep her in line. For now, at least.


	38. Metal Crusher

Chapter Thirty-Eight – Metal Crusher

Lapis hadn't been in the best of moods when she'd first returned to the barn that morning. She'd planned on spending the day with Steven and then rubbing it in Peridot's face, so when she'd arrived at the Temple only to discover that he wasn't even there, she'd been aggravated, to say the least. She'd briefly considered looking for him around Beach City, but she had no idea where this 'Soured Cream' lived and she knew Steven well enough to know that he wouldn't stop helping a friend to hang out with her.

But now, watching Peridot stagger around, holding her frozen head and looking remarkably like an oversized lollipop, Lapis felt her bad mood melting away. True, it was mean, but it was also the most hilarious thing she'd ever seen and she laughed until her sides ached.

Peridot, of course, found the whole thing decidedly less funny and a lot more terrifying. Every muscle in her face was frozen in place; she couldn't move her eyes or mouth, and the ice was heavy and uncomfortable. Unable to squeeze her fingertips underneath the part that met her neck, she smashed her head into the kitchen counter in a valiant attempt to shatter it. She only succeeded in putting a dent in the new countertop, and Lapis laughed harder.

She tried to calm down and think, but all she could concentrate on was the horrible suffocating feeling. Gems didn't need to breathe, but all that meant was that this wouldn't kill her, not that it wasn't _extremely_ unpleasant. She needed to get out, break the ice somehow. _Screwdriver. Chisel. Drill,_ she thought dimly to herself. She had tools, they would help. She tried to head towards her work area, overbalanced and fell to her knees. _Please!_

A moment later, several things smashed into the block of ice. The impact knocked her over, but the damage had been done; the ice had been chipped and cracked, and when her head hit the floor, the entire thing shattered into pieces, leaving her gasping and sobbing on the ground.

Before she could compose herself, she heard footsteps approaching and then Lapis grabbed her upper arm hard and yanked her to her feet. "What the hell was that?" the blue gem growled. She wasn't laughing any more.

"Whu-what?" Peridot blinked, disorientated. "What was what? Ow!" she added as Lapis tightened her grip.

"That!" Lapis repeated, giving her a shake.

She gestured towards the ground and Peridot's eyes followed her outstretched fingers until she saw several of the Ruby weapons lying on the floor, surrounded by chunks of ice. Still confused, she looked at Lapis, then back to the weapons again. Did Lapis want her to pick them up? She reached out her free hand towards a chisel and to the astonishment of both of them, it rose off the ground and into her grasp.

Lapis was the first to react; she let go of Peridot's arm, and in one swift movement, grabbed her other wrist and twisted it, forcing her to drop the weapon with a yelp. Then she pushed her away. "You don't have any powers," she said through gritted teeth. "You're an Era 2 Peridot, they _made_ you defective."

Peridot took a small step backwards and opened her mouth. Then she closed it again. What was she supposed to say to that? She'd always believed it to be true, but apparently that wasn't the case. But she didn't want to say the wrong thing and piss Lapis off any further.

Lapis looked at her for a moment longer, and then turned away and began bubbling the Ruby weapons. Her mind whirled as she worked. This new development was a little troubling – she'd always suspected Peridot's powers were lacking, possibly because she'd been reliant on her limb enhancers for so long - so finding out from her diary that she was actually a defective, inferior cut was both a relief and an annoyance. It was nice to know Peridot was incapable of fighting back, but how insulting to have been held prisoner by such a low-ranking gem – and one with no powers!

If Peridot was beginning to develop powers though, one day she might be strong enough to fight back. Lapis bubbled the mace and paused for a moment to look thoughtfully at it. Well, she decided, if she suspected Peridot was getting to that point, she'd just have to poof her and bubble her. In fact… "If you ever do anything like that again," she said, sending the bubble away and turning to face Peridot, "do you know what I'll do?"

Peridot hesitated. The fact that Lapis was asking this made her suspect that the answer was something other than 'show that fake diary to the Crystal Gems', but she couldn't imagine what else Lapis might have in mind. "I… I don't know," she finally admitted.

"Hmm." Lapis slowly bubbled another weapon and smiled. "Well. If you make any attempt to raise another weapon against me, I'll fight you. And I'll win. And then…" She paused and the smile died on her lips. "I'll shatter Jasper. And I'll make you watch."

 _Jasper?_ For a moment, Peridot wondered if maybe she still had ice in her ears or something, because there was no way she'd heard that right. "I-I'm sorry, what?"

"You heard what I said." The last weapon had been sent away and Lapis folded her arms and smiled at the smaller gem. "I have Jasper's gem. Haven't you ever wondered why the Crystal Gems haven't been able to find her? I mean," she laughed, "I know their track record is _abysmal,_ but Jasper's hardly inconspicuous, is she?"

"I don't…" Peridot swallowed hard and spoke again. "I don't believe you."

Lapis snorted. "Please. I spent months holding that brute captive, do you really think I was just going to stand back and let her go after all that? I went and bubbled her as soon as I woke up in this dump. All the time the Crystal Gems have been looking for her, she's been safe in-" She caught herself just in time. Peridot didn't need to know exactly where Jasper was, just that Lapis had her trapped too. "You know, I lied before," she said instead.

If she hadn't been so tense, Peridot might have laughed. Lapis had obviously lied about many things, did she really expect her to know which particular lie she was talking about now? "About what?" she asked.

"About Jasper not caring about you," Lapis said breezily. "To tell the truth, she was really quite worried about you. It was very annoying. She was utterly convinced the Crystal Gems had captured you and shattered you on the spot." She pursed her lips in annoyance. "So was I, actually. It was about the only thing we agreed on. So!" she declared, standing up straighter. "Remember. If you defy me, I'll shatter her gem and throw it into the sun. The Crystal Gems will never know, and you'll have to live with the fact that your actions got her killed. Do you understand?"

Peridot nodded silently, but Lapis wasn't satisfied. She reached out and grabbed hold of the other gem's hair, twisting her head so that she was forced to look up at her. "I can't hear you!" she sang.

"Yes!" she choked out. "I understand! Just- please, don't hurt her!"

Lapis sneered and let go. "Pathetic. You disgust me." She turned her back on Peridot and marched towards the barn doors. "I'm going to read," she called over her shoulder. Then she smiled malevolently. "Don't go anywhere."

xXxXx

Jasper. Lapis had Jasper.

For the next few hours, that thought reverberated through her mind. She gathered up the glasses that had fallen off the counter when she'd crashed into it and put them with the broken glass from her multimedia player. She picked up the chunks of broken ice and put them in the sink to melt. She reinforced the support column that Lapis had punched, took apart several sofas and drew up a blueprint for a bed. And the entire time she worked, she dwelled upon this new revelation.

Lapis had Jasper.

Where? Peridot glanced over at the trapdoor. Surely she had to be on the moon or underwater or something, she couldn't _possibly_ be there, it was a ridiculous notion. What if the Crystal Gems ever found out? But then again, no doubt Lapis had an explanation ready for if that ever happened, probably something like how she'd bubbled Jasper as soon as she woke up and didn't feel comfortable handing her over to the Crystal Gems after finding out they'd freed her other captor. And of course, Lapis clearly didn't think Peridot herself would be able to do anything with this information. What could she do? Free Jasper?

 _Could_ she free Jasper? Peridot gave the matter some serious thought. Jasper wouldn't be fooled by Lapis, she'd spent too long fused with her to be tricked again. She'd be on Peridot's side… wouldn't she?

Except… a cold feeling crept over Peridot. The last time she'd seen Jasper, they'd both been working for Yellow Diamond. Now she'd switched sides, Jasper might not want anything to do with her. She might attack Peridot herself. And even if she did come to Peridot's defence, what good would that do? Lapis had defeated her once before, she could probably do it again, quite easily. And if, somehow, Jasper did get the upper hand, Lapis would probably call on the Crystal Gems for help. She might do that anyway, just to punish Peridot. Make her watch as her friends fought her escort. And then when they'd won, she'd tell them exactly who had let Jasper free.

No. She shook her head. Freeing Jasper wasn't an option at this point. She needed the diaries first. Once she found them, she could put them in her gem, where Lapis couldn't get them. Except then Lapis would shatter Jasper. Even if she managed to get the diaries to Garnet immediately and told her what was going on, Lapis would probably shatter Jasper anyway.

Could she put Jasper's gem in her gem too? Pearl had unknowingly kept Lapis in hers for years with no problems. But then, Lapis had been trapped in the mirror and unable to take form. She had no idea what would happen if she put Jasper's gem in hers as it was, but she had a nasty feeling that Jasper would probably reform and in doing so, shatter Peridot's own gem from the inside-

There was a noise from Lapis's room and she tensed with fear, but nothing happened. Still, it reminded her that for the moment, while Lapis was in the barn, there was nothing she could do.

She groaned, laid her head in her hands and tried not to cry. It hardly mattered whether Lapis was in the barn or not, she had no more ideas, and all the ones she did have, sucked. She was alone and powerless and trapped in a hostile place. Lapis had won.

xXx

LOOK WHO HAS POWERS! And can't use them. Oops, haha.

Thinking about it, the Crystal Gems track record really is abysmal when it comes to finding threats. Peridot was caught after she went to the Beach House and kidnapped Steven, Malachite was found by chance by Steven, and they accidentally stumbled across Jasper after _she_ found them several times first.

So, this right here is why Earthlings annoyed me so much. I'd been planning on having Lapis use Jasper as blackmail material for a long time, before In Too Deep started, but that only works if Peridot cares just a tiny bit about Jasper. I could ignore the throwaway line about Jasper making her tired; being around Jasper may be tiring, but that doesn't mean Peridot wants any harm to come to her. But their interaction (what little there was) in Earthlings is harder to ignore, so I'm just going to have to accept that thanks to this being AU, Jasper and Peridot's relationship is going to be different to their canon one. I mean, I know Lapis and Peridot's relationship here is also vastly different, but Lapis's extreme acts of revenge at least have some precedent in canon.


	39. Money For Nothing

Chapter Thirty-Nine – Money For Nothing

The following day, Lapis emerged from her room and announced that she was going to see Steven.

As soon as she was gone, Peridot ran to the foot of the ladder and then dithered there for several minutes, trying to decide what to do. She still had no idea what to do if she found Jasper or the diaries, and with the doors wide open, she would have no warning when Lapis came back. Perhaps she could make some sort of early warning system? Radar? Lidar? Sonar?

It was a better idea than any other she'd had so far, so she crossed to her side of the barn to gather up her drawing tools. She'd just torn off a fresh piece of wallpaper when Lapis stomped back into the barn, looking even more furious than the day before. Without even looking at Peridot, she waved a hand in her direction and before the smaller gem could make any move, she was completely encased in a solid block of ice. Then Lapis spun around, walked back out and flew away.

It was many hours before she came back and slowly circled the immobile gem, before stopping in front of her. "No damage. That's good, I forgot I'd left that stupid screwdriver in here, I was sure I'd come back and find you half-chipped free. I guess you can come out now."

She waved a hand and the ice immediately melted and flew out of the barn, back to the lake. Peridot sucked in a deep breath of fresh air, dropped her soggy piece of wallpaper on the kitchen counter and collapsed on the floor. Her entire body was numb after being frozen for so long. Even her brain felt numb.

"Unpleasant, isn't it?" Lapis turned around and walked away again. "Now imagine being stuck like that for five thousand years."

xXxXx

She'd finally finished Larry Porter and begun reading Missing Woman, but her concentration kept wavering as she found herself repeatedly glancing out of the window, watching for the sunrise. Today she was determined to see Steven before he could vanish again, so she intended to head over to the beach house the very moment the sun rose over the horizon.

As soon as the sky began to lighten, she marked her place in the book and flew back down to the barn entrance. She stepped inside and watched with amusement as Peridot dropped a pencil and ducked down behind the kitchen counter with a squeak of terror as soon as she caught sight of her. "I'm going to see Steven."

Peridot cautiously raised her head above the countertop. "Now? It's five in the morning, won't he still be doing his sleep?"

"Probably," Lapis said without bothering to elaborate. She walked back outside, unfolded her wings and took off.

The flight was uneventful, and she landed on the deck of the beach house a few minutes later. The house was in darkness and when she opened the door and crept inside, all she could hear was silence. For a brief moment she wondered if maybe he was still in Empire City, but then she heard the faint sounds of breathing from the upper level and flew up to see him curled up in his bed, sound asleep.

It was another three hours before his eyes opened, and he blinked sleepily at her for a few seconds before his brain caught up. "Gah! Lapis!"

"Hi Steven," Lapis said cheerfully.

Steven pulled his blanked up under his chin and narrowed his eyes at her. "Were you watching me sleep?"

"Yes."

"Well… would you mind not doing that again in future?" He wrinkled his nose. "It's a bit creepy.

"Oh. Sorry." She shifted slightly in embarrassment. "It's just… gem's don't really do it. I find it fascinating. How was Empire City?" she asked quickly, changing subject.

Steven's eyes immediately lit up. "Ohhhhhh myyyyyyy goshhhhhhh, you are not going to _believe_ what's been happening these last few days! Wait here," he added, jumping out of bed, grabbing a handful of clothes and heading for the bathroom.

Lapis did as she was told, waiting patiently for him to emerge, but when he did, the first thing he said was "is Peridot at the barn?"

"Er… she was when I left, why?" Lapis asked cautiously.

Steven grinned. "I wanna tell you both at the same time. Let me just grab something to eat and we can head over there."

"Oh." Lapis thought fast. The safest thing to do would be to head back while Steven was eating, poof Peridot and tell Steven she must have gone out looking for stuff to tinker with. But then Steven might insist upon waiting for her to come back. And… well, it would be a chance to test just how much power she had over the little green gem. "You take your time, I'll go and let her know you're coming over," she said.

"OK." Steven pulled a box of cereal out of a cupboard and poured some into a bowl. "See you soon."

"Bye." Lapis stepped onto the warp pad, simply because it was faster, and vanished.

Once she arrived at the other end of the warp steam, she flew to the barn and skidded to a halt just inside the doorway and once again, Peridot ducked behind the kitchen counter. "Get up," she ordered. "Steven's coming."

"What?" Peridot immediately bobbed back up. "Here? Now?"

The hope in her eyes was unmissable and Lapis narrowed her own eyes at the sight of it. "Yes, here. So instead of poofing you right now, I'm going to give you a chance."

"W-what kind of chance?" the other gem asked warily.

"If you behave yourself, I won't kill you," Lapis said simply. "Just act natural."

"Act natural." Peridot's lips twisted at the phrase. "You mean pretend you're not a monster."

"Pretend I'm not a monster. It's actually not that difficult, I managed it around you, didn't I?" Lapis said evenly. "If I think you're not trying hard enough, I'll poof you and make it look like an accident. Then, as you will have proven you can't be trusted, I will dispose of your gem. Jasper's too. And then I'll give the Crystal Gems your diary. You'll become nothing but a bad memory."

Peridot didn't say anything in response to this, but Lapis noticed with satisfaction that the light had gone from her eyes. She heard the warp pad chime faintly in the distance and stood up straighter. " _Act natural_ ," she hissed.

A few seconds later, Steven skidded into the barn. "Hi Peridot! Hi Lapis!" He carefully put his cheeseburger backpack onto the stripped-down frame of a sofa and then turned back to face them, looking almost giddy with excitement. "OK. So. You are never gonna guess what happened the other day!"

"The snowmen came to life?" Lapis guessed at once.

Steven shook his head. "Nope."

"Your band won the talent show?" Peridot guessed, trying to act natural and dimly remembering that Lapis had said something about Steven being a roadie.

Steven laughed at that. "Nope! But actually, that's not far off." He pulled out a bar stool and sat on it. "You guys know how my dad used to be a rock star before he met my mom, right?"

Peridot nodded her head. "Yes."

"No," Lapis said at the same moment. Then she frowned at the other gem in annoyance.

"I mean, no," Peridot quickly corrected. "I don't know. I forgot."

Steven looked a little puzzled by that, but quickly dismissed it. "OK, well, he did. He used to tour the country and play shows and stuff. And he had this manager, Marty, only he wasn't a very good manager, and he didn't approve of Mom, so Dad fired him. And that was the very last time he saw Marty. Until two days ago."

"When you were being a roadie for Soured Cream?" Lapis checked.

"Sour Cream," Steven corrected. "It turns out, Marty's actually his dad. Anyway, he used Sour Cream's gig to push this gross Guacola stuff, but the main reason he was in town was because he'd sold one of Dad's songs as a commercial jingle and had to give him a cut and now…" He paused for emphasis. "Dad's a _millionaire!_ "

Although the gems didn't have a concept of money, they'd both absorbed enough Earth culture to realise that being a millionaire was a big deal. "Steven, that's amazing!" Lapis cried. "Does he have any plans for it?"

Peridot gasped as a sudden thought hit her. "The Jacuzzi! He could buy the Jacuzzi!"

Steven laughed. "Well, we already went on a trip to Empire City, me, Dad and Pearl-"

That explained Lapis's sour mood the day before, Peridot realised, glancing over at the other gem.

"-And I think he's planning on buying a car, and he brought, uh…" Steven hesitated for a moment and glanced at Peridot. "Something else. But I don't think he's got like, any concrete plans for the rest, so I'll ask him about a Jacuzzi. And that reminds me."

Both gems watched him curiously as he slipped off the stool and headed over to his backpack. After a few seconds of rummaging, he held a gift-wrapped package aloft. "Ta da!"

Lapis stiffened at the sight of the green bow on the gift. Surely it couldn't possibly be-

"For you!" Steven sang, holding the gift out to Peridot.

"Oh." Peridot looked down at the gift for a moment. "Wow. Thanks."

She made no move to take it and Steven's smile faltered. "Do-do you want me to unwrap it for you?"

"…No." Peridot took a breath and reached out with slightly shaky hands. She tore off the paper and looked at the item inside with incomprehension. "It's a rectangle?"

"And a tablet," Steven corrected. "Dad decided he didn't need it," he explained, picking up the little green bow and sticking it on her hair. "Something about oversaturation of media. I thought you might like it. Look." He switched the screen on and swiped to unlock it. "See? You use your fingers to work it."

"What a thoughtful gift," Lapis murmured.

Steven shot her a quick look. "You don't mind that I haven't got anything for you, do you?" he asked a little anxiously.

"Of course not," Lapis lied. She looked down at Peridot, who was tentatively swiping through the apps with her fingers. "I can see why this made you think of Peridot."

"Oh good," Steven sagged with relief. "Because I do have something for you, but it's gonna take a little time to organise." He turned back to Peridot and smiled again. "Now you have the whole world-"

"I can't accept this," Peridot said abruptly. She pushed the tablet across the kitchen counter towards him, pulled the bow off of her hair and took a step back. "Please thank Greg for me, it's a very generous gift, but it's too much."

"What?" Steven shook his head, bewildered. "Peridot, he's a millionaire _!_ A _multimillionaire!_ "

"I don't want it," Peridot said obstinately. _Act natural,_ Lapis had said, and the natural thing to do would be to accept the gift, but she knew perfectly well that if she did that, it would only end up broken, like her bracelet and her DVDs. And then Steven would ask where it was and she'd have to lie to him again. Better to reject the gift and pretend she didn't want it. "It's hardly an adequate replacement for my finger screens," she said instead. "It doesn't even have any way to attach it to your body."

"Um, OK," Steven said, looking hurt. "I just thought… I guess I was wrong." He picked the tablet back up and returned it to his bag. Then, aware that a tense and awkward silence was growing, he turned around and forced a smile onto his face. "Come on, let's go somewhere!"

"OK," Lapis said agreeably, and unfurled her wings. "Where do you wanna go today?" Suddenly her eyes lit up as a thought occurred to her. "Hey, you wanna go back to Australia? Now you have money, you can buy a Jim Jam!"

Steven hesitated. It was a tempting idea, but it was also one that left out Peridot, who was now glaring mutinously down at the kitchen counter. Had she even left the barn since the mission? He suddenly found himself wondering. Did she go anywhere else when she was alone, or did she just stay here and tinker? He knew she must have seen some of the Earth while she'd been on the run, but since then? He suspected the furthest she'd explored recently was Beach City itself.

"I have a better idea," he said, with a sudden grin. "Come on!"

xXx

I know, I've kinda rushed the timeline for Drop Beat Dad and Mr Greg, but believe it or not, I really don't want to drag things out for too long, and I couldn't have Lapis and Peridot doing nothing in the barn for a week while Beach City plot happened in the background. But I did want Peridot's metal powers to show up at a similar stage to their canon appearance, which meant Greg had to get his millions. So I'm pretending Marty wired the money into his account and the cheque is actually one of those ceremonial ones like lottery winners get.

...those ARE just ceremonial, right?

...OK, yes, Google says they are. Phew.


	40. Magical Mystery Tour

Chapter Forty – Magical Mystery Tour

Steven had picked up his backpack and was halfway out of the door before he realised Peridot had made no effort to move from her position by the kitchen counter. "Peridot?"

"Hmm?" Peridot blinked and then smiled at him. "Oh, no, you two have fun. I'm going to stay here and um…" She gestured vaguely towards the dismembered sofas. "Y'know, make… things."

There was something strained about her smile and in that moment, Steven decided he wasn't going to leave without her. "You're coming too," he said firmly. "You can make things later."

"But…" She shifted uncomfortably and glanced quickly at Lapis. "I don't- I'm not- I have too much work-"

"Steven…" Lapis laid a gentle hand on his arm. "If she doesn't want to come, maybe we should just leave her."

"No," Steven said stubbornly, shrugging her hand off. "Peridot, you spend too much time here in the barn, it's not healthy. You need to get out more."

The truth in those words almost made her laugh, but Peridot fought the urge to do so and shook her head again. "I don't want to. I'm busy."

"Steven-" Lapis tried again.

To their surprise, Steven dropped to the ground, crossed his arms and legs, and glared at Peridot. "I'm not moving from this spot until you agree to come with us."

"That-that's not a threat that will work over a long term basis," Peridot said, casting another quick look in Lapis's direction.

"I'm hoping it won't need to," Steven admitted.

"Come on, Steven," Lapis said again, leaning down slightly to tug on his arm. "She doesn't want to come with us."

Steven sighed deeply and tilted his head back to look at her. "Lapis?"

"Yes, Steven?" Lapis said hopefully.

"When it's gets to…" He pulled his phone out of his pocked and checked the time. "Say… seven pm, will you go and tell the gems where I am?"

Lapis blinked. "Wh-what?"

"And bring some waffles back here." Steven fixed his gaze back on Peridot. "You may need to cook for me."

A short silence of disbelief followed these words.

"I'm not entirely sure what I'm going to do about going to the bathroom," Steven eventually added. He shifted slightly. "I guess we'll deal with that when we need to."

Lapis stepped back and folded her arms. "Come on, Peridot. If Steven wants you to come with us so badly, you really ought to do as he asks."

"Well…" Peridot trailed off miserably and cast another quick look around the barn. "I-I guess I can make um, things, later…"

"Oh thank goodness for that," Steven exclaimed in relief and flopped onto his back in the dirt. "I was seriously beginning to worry that you'd let me sit there all day!"

"Heh." Peridot grinned nervously and decided to change the subject. "So where are we going then?"

"Aha!" Steven jumped to his feet and gestured dramatically towards the distant warp pad. "We are going… on a Magical Mystery Tour!" He began walking and after a moment, the two gems began to follow him.

"So… where are we going then?" Lapis repeated, catching up quickly.

"That would be the 'mystery' bit of our Mystery Tour," Steven said loftily. He stepped onto the warp pad and waited for them to join him. "And now, the magic!"

They vanished into the warp stream and rematerialised in front of a large crater. "I thought," Steven explained, stepping off of the warp pad, "that you two should have a tour of all the important gem locations here on Earth, starting here." He waved at the enormous rocky dome down in the middle of the crater. "This, my friends, is… the Geode."

He paused for dramatic effect and Lapis clapped politely.

"I don't know what it does," he confessed and gave them both a hopeful look.

"Neither do I," Lapis admitted.

Peridot shrugged. "If it's a creation of Homeworld's doing, it's something that's since become obsolete. I've never seen anything like it." She squinted at the Geode and frowned. "Is that duct tape?"

"Dad helped me perform some repairs," Steven confirmed, He stepped forward and slid down the side of the crater. "Come and have a closer look! It's safe! I think!"

Lapis and Peridot oohed and aahed over the gem structure, but there wasn't much else to see in the crater besides the Geode itself, so Steven led the way back to the warp pad and the tour continued.

He decided to skip both the Sea Spire and the Sea Shrine, seeing as they were both underwater, and the Galaxy Warp, because the last visit he'd made there with Lapis really hadn't been the best. Neither had his last visit with Peridot, come to think of it. The Communication Hub had been inaccessible ever since Sugilite had smashed the warp pad, and now the Mask Island warp pad was down too, which was really rather a pity because Mask Island was so pretty. And it would've been nice to see the Watermelon Stevens again. But he took them to the Desert, which Peridot hadn't seen before, and the Kindergarten, which was new to Lapis, before moving onto locations he suspected neither of them were familiar with, such as the mountains of the Sky Spire and the Flower Meadow.

Then they took a half-hour break outside the old colony ship so that Steven could recover from the Flower Meadow.

"You'd think with all this… stuff… oozing out of you, some of it would heal you," Lapis said, noting his streaming nose and eyes.

"Ugh." Steven groaned miserably and tried not to rub his itchy eyes. "Sorry, guys. I thought-" His face contorted and the other two gems quickly backed away as he sneezed explosively. "It's faaaaaalllllll," he whined. "There's not supposed to be flower pollen in fall!"

"Is the meadow on the southern hemisphere of this planet?" Peridot asked. "Because that would make it… what was it, spring?"

"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaat!?" Steven gasped in amazement and opened his puffy eyes as wide as he could, which wasn't very far. "You mean seasons aren't the same around the world!?"

"Well, no." Peridot looked surprised by his lack of knowledge, and pointed up at the sun that shone overhead. "The rotation of your Earth is tilted, I noticed it on our approach. So as it orbits your primary star- the sun," she corrected herself, "the hemisphere that's tilted towards it will receive more heat and light than the hemisphere that's tilted away."

"Oh!" Understanding dawned on Steven's face. "Oh right, I remember Dad saying something like that, but when he said the seasons were opposite, I just thought it was because, well, they were all upside-down." He turned to Lapis. "Do you think that's why it was so hot in Australia, because it's spring now? I thought it was just because it was Australia."

"I guess so," Lapis said with a shrug. She glanced at Peridot out of the corner of her eye and smirked a little. "Maybe if Peridot ever takes you to space again – not as a prisoner, this time – she can show you the tilt."

Recognising this as a reference to one of the fake diary entries, Peridot scowled and turned away. "If you're feeling better, shall we proceed with the tour?" she asked abruptly.

"But Lapis hasn't seen the inside of the ship yet," Steven protested.

"That's all right, Steven," Lapis said mildly. "I don't really think I want to see the inside of any more gem ships. Let's move on."

"Right." He blew his nose and thought for a minute, trying to remember what other locations he knew of. There was the forest near his mother's armoury, but the armoury itself was several hours away and at this late stage in the day, with his allergies flaring up, he really didn't feel up to it. There was the Ice Cavern, but he was pretty sure none of them wanted to venture into any more icy caves.

Finally he came to a decision. "OK, one more place, and then we'll finish with somewhere really special!"

They walked the short distance back to the warp pad and waited for Steven to activate it. The place they arrived in was immediately recognisable to both of them and they looked to Steven for an explanation.

"I know you've both been here already," he said obligingly, and stepped off the warp pad. "But you didn't really get a chance to look around last time, so I thought we'd come back today, while nobody was training."

He walked up the steps that lead to the Sky Arena and then stood aside to let them past. Lapis hesitated at the top of the steps for a moment, letting her gaze drift over the three statues. Yellow Diamond, White Diamond and Blue Diamond. And in the far corner, she could just see the rubble where Pink Diamond's statue had stood. Had the rebels destroyed it? Or was it just – time?

Shaking her head to dismiss the thought, she turned and headed for the statue of Blue Diamond.

Meanwhile, Peridot had made a beeline for the statue of Yellow Diamond and was looking thoughtfully up at it when Steven came to stand by her side. "That's Yellow Diamond, isn't it?" he asked quietly.

Peridot nodded. "It still looks just like her. Only… smaller."

Steven gave the statue another look, and then turned to look at the others. "I never really paid attention to them before," he confessed. "Every time I come here, stuff's going on. And I just kinda assumed they were random warriors – before you sent that message, I'd never seen a Diamond before. Well, there was that mural on the moon base," he corrected himself. "I guess I just never made the connection."

"What would have happened to me?" Peridot suddenly blurted out, turning to face him. "If you had managed to prevent me from activating the communicator," she elaborated at Steven's look of incomprehension. "Do you think you would have left me in the bubble room forever?"

Steven winced. "I… I don't know. Maybe. At least, for a while." He chewed his bottom lip and thought back to that moment, when they'd all been so certain of her betrayal. "Maybe once we'd all calmed down and-and had time to think, maybe we would've let you try to explain," he said, trying to sound positive, but deep down, he suspected that if she had been caught and bubbled before they'd realised she was trying to help, she would've stayed that way for a long time.

Peridot looked back at the statue again and reached out a tentative hand to touch the smooth, cool surface. "I used to think she was perfect."

"Do you miss her?" Steven asked curiously.

"No!" To his immense surprise, she jerked her hand back as if burned. "I want nothing to do with her, or Homeworld!"

"But… it's OK if you do," he tried to reassure her. "It was a big part of your life, it takes time to move on. I mean," he added, "Pearl still misses Homeworld-"

"I don't miss Homeworld!" she hissed, and looked around fearfully. There was a flicker of blue in the corner of her vision and she stiffened as Lapis stared back at her.

"Peridot?" Steven was beginning to get worried now. "Are you OK?"

"Of course!" She pasted a fake wide smile on her face, and then, guessing he wasn't convinced, added "I suppose, I must admit that I'm still somewhat preoccupied by my poor performance in our last mission. So… I'm going to look over there now."

She waved a hand vaguely at the rubble of the fourth, broken statue and walked away just as Lapis came to stand beside Steven. "Is she OK?" Lapis asked.

Steven watched as Peridot crouched down at the edge of the arena and began shifting through the fragments of stone. She'd been subdued all day and now, their conversation and her subsequent demeanour reminded him acutely of when she'd first stolen the communicator; she was nervous and twitchy and clearly hiding something from him. "I think maybe… she's homesick?" he said slowly.

"Oh." Lapis looked up thoughtfully at the statue of Yellow Diamond. "And… she's sad because she can't go back?"

"Not exactly." Steven shook his head. "I don't think she _wants_ to go back, she just… misses it."

"Hmm. Well, it's probably a good thing she doesn't want to go back then," Lapis said. "It'd take something pretty big for Yellow Diamond to forgive her." Then she grabbed him gently by the hand. "Come and look at my Diamond now!"

"Blue Diamond, right?" Steven asked, allowing himself to be lead across the arena.

"Right," Lapis confirmed. She stopped in front of the other statue and gazed up at it. "Look. She looks exactly like I remember her."

Steven squirmed uncomfortably at the look of adoration of Lapis's face towards the gem who had once ordered Ruby to be shattered for the crime of accidentally fusing with Sapphire. He certainly didn't need to ask if Lapis missed her Diamond at all. "She's certainly, uh… tall."

"She was always the most beautiful of the Diamonds," Lapis said softly. "I wish I'd been able to see her when I returned."

"So, um, what about that one over there?" Steven asked, pointing to the last intact statue in an attempt to distract her. "Who's that?"

"That one?" Lapis looked towards where he was pointing. "That's White Diamond."

Steven narrowed his eyes as he looked at the final statue. "She looks short. I mean, compared to the others."

Lapis laughed at that and gave him a friendly nudge. "I wouldn't say that to her face! But yeah, you're right, she is shorter. But don't let that fool you, she's an extremely powerful gem."

As she spoke, her eyes flicked over to Peridot, who was picking through the rubble of Pink Diamond's statue at the crumbling edge of the arena, openly sulking and most definitely _not_ acting naturally.

Well, she _had_ been warned.

xXx

Why hasn't this happened in canon yet? Lapis and Peridot need a proper tour of their new planet, dammit. One of them might actually really know what the Geode is. And I want to know more about the Diamonds - writing about them here was damn tricky because we know next to nothing about Blue Diamond, and less than that about White Diamond.

Sometimes I really do wonder what would've happened to Peridot if she hadn't been able to activate that communicator. Nothing good, I imagine. No wonder she worries about pissing off the gems.

Oh, and this chapter comes with art. In fact, it comes with DOUBLE ART because I forgot that both scenes I'd drawn were in this chapter! Links, as usual, are in pieces on my profile.


	41. What Goes Up

Chapter Forty-One – What Goes Up

Peridot picked up a piece of rock and studied the fragmented writing on the side of it before comparing it to another piece she'd already examined. The pieces were small, and most of it was missing, but there was just enough left to confirm what she had already guessed - that the statue had once depicted the mysterious Pink Diamond.

She didn't know much about the fourth member of the Great Diamond Authority. Few on Homeworld were even aware that she had ever existed; Peridot herself only knew because Jasper had mentioned her in passing, and the other gem had refused to answer any further questions. She didn't know exactly what Pink Diamond's ultimate fate had been, but the broken statue, the damaged emblem above the arena and the erasure of her existence from Homeworld's records suggested something ominous-

Something touched her leg, and she looked down just in time to see the tendril of cloud wrap itself around her ankle before she was suddenly yanked off of the edge of the arena.

xXxXx

Steven's head snapped around at the sound of the scream and he watched with horror as Peridot disappeared over the edge of the arena. "Oh my gosh, Peridot!"

Lapis snapped an arm out and grabbed the back of his shirt as the boy started forward, apparently intending to leap off of the arena after her. "Whoa, Steven! What're you doing!?"

"I don't know!" he wailed, flailing desperately in her grasp. "Something! I float!"

"And I _fly,_ " she pointed out. "I'll get her." And with that, she sprinted to the edge of the arena and jumped off.

xXxXx

Her biggest mistake, Peridot realised as she plummeted towards the ground, was in thinking that Lapis wouldn't try to hurt her while Steven was around. Even though the other gem's violence towards her had rapidly escalated over the past few days, she'd still expected to be relatively safe with somebody else around, even if it did mean she'd probably spend the rest of the day trapped inside a large block of ice again. After all, the destruction of her DVD's, the attack by the water clones, even her broken bracelet (something she now unhappily suspected had been deliberate) were all things that had happened when they were alone. But perhaps that was _why_ she'd done it; to show Peridot that she could never be safe.

It was this that made her finally understand what Lapis had in mind for her. Deep down, a part of her had hoped that if she did whatever Lapis wanted and put up with things for long enough, she might eventually really, properly forgive her, a hope that was vanishing as fast as she was falling. She'd already known that the other gem couldn't carry on behaving this way towards her forever, either she'd get bored, or somebody would get suspicious. But until that happened, she would continue to take every chance she had to hurt Peridot, and then she would destroy her form, hide her gem and let the Crystal Gems run all over the Earth in search of her. In a way, it really wasn't all that different from what she had done to Jasper.

Still, she thought, as the ground loomed ever closer, she had expected Lapis to draw things out for a bit longer. Peridots may be durable, but they certainly weren't invincible and a fall from this height was definitely going to destroy her form. If she landed face down, she might even shatter her gem. For a split second, she almost welcomed the prospect, then her self-preservation instincts kicked in. As long as she was alive, even if she was forced into her gem, she had a chance. With that in mind, she flipped over in mid-air, and then groaned out loud.

Lapis was flying towards her.

"Are you here to save me, or to get a better view when I hit the ground?" she asked rudely.

"I'm still deciding," Lapis said evenly.

Peridot glanced over her shoulder. "Well, at my current rate of velocity, I estimate that you have around fifty seconds to make up your mind."

Lapis raised an eyebrow. "You're being very antagonistic. I'm almost beginning to think you _want_ me to let you become a Peridot-shaped crater in the ground."

A taunt rose in her throat, but she choked it down. She'd finally begun to devise a plan to fight back, and she couldn't do that if her form was destroyed. "I would prefer that not to happen," she said instead.

"Would you like me to catch you and take you back up to the arena?" Lapis asked sweetly.

"Yes," Peridot begrudgingly admitted through gritted teeth.

Lapis smirked. "Then say 'please'"

Peridot threw another quick glance over her shoulder. She had about thirty seconds until impact. If she refused to beg, would Lapis fly out of reach and just watch as her form was destroyed? Undoubtedly. "Please."

"That really wasn't a very convincing effort," Lapis said patronisingly. "Do you want to try again?"

She really didn't, but now was not the time for defiance. "Please, Lapis!"

Lapis pretended to think and suddenly Peridot wasn't sure that any amount of pleading would be enough. "It'll spoil Steven's mystery tour!" she said desperately.

The smile slipped off the other gem's face, and she shot out a hand, grabbed Peridot's wrist and flapped her wings hard. But instead of altering their trajectory so that their speed could be adjusted for a flight back up to the arena, Lapis simply went into reverse, and at the speed they were travelling, the change in direction almost yanked Peridot's arm off.

Several thousand metres up in the air, Steven was laying on the floor of the arena so that he could look over the edge without accidentally overbalancing, and even then, he almost toppled over when he finally caught sight of the two gems rapidly approaching. He scrambled to his feet and backed away from the edge as Lapis came in to land. She'd switched her grip so that she was now holding Peridot around the waist, her fingers digging into the other gem's body just a little tighter than necessary because she knew that after being poofed by Garnet, the other gem was uncomfortable with being handled there.

"You're OK!" Steven cried in relief, flinging his arms around Peridot as soon as Lapis had placed her onto the surface of the arena. "You… _are_ OK?" he added anxiously as she flinched.

"My arm is a little sore," she admitted, stepping out of his embrace and reaching up to rub her shoulder. It was a bit of an understatement; it hurt to move the limb at all and she was quite sure she'd have a nasty bruise there shortly. "The force required to halt my descent must have caused some damage to my form."

"Sorry about that," Lapis lied easily. "You were pretty close to the ground when I caught up, I didn't have a lot of options."

"Do you want me to try and heal it? I don't know if it'll work, but-" Steven began, then he snapped his fingers. "Wait, we can do that at out next stop! It'll be a great way to finish off our mystery tour."

"Actually, if it's acceptable with you, I think I'd prefer to return to the barn now," Peridot said, trying to sound reluctant. "But I have no objections if you two would prefer to continue with the tour."

"But…" Steven waved desperately towards the warp pad. "I've been saving the best one for last! It's my mom's fountain," he added, seeing that Peridot still didn't look convinced. "She had healing tears, so we can definitely fix your arm when we get there."

Peridot hesitated. On the surface of it, a fountain filled with healing tears sounded incredible… but she had absolutely no desire to see it while Lapis was present. No doubt the other gem would find some inventive way to use it against her, to hurt her and heal her all in one move. "My arm is of no concern," she said flatly. "The issue is that after that… accident, my enthusiasm for this tour has waned. It was a nice gesture," she quickly added as Steven's face fell, "but I would prefer to finish visiting these sites at another time. Perhaps after a risk assessment survey has been carried out."

"Aww… OK." Steven pouted, but he didn't argue any further, instead leading the small party back to the warp pad. Moments later, they were back on the hillside overlooking the barn. "Here you are," he said unnecessarily.

"Thank you for the tour, Steven," Lapis said, leaning down to give him a hug. "It was very thoughtful of you to show us all those places."

"Yes, it was very informative," Peridot added a little half-heartedly, although she did her best to hide it because Steven really had been trying to help. "Thank you."

"There's still more to see," Steven said, trying to sound cheerful. "So we can try again another time."

Lapis smiled warmly down at him. "Sure, that would be great."

"I'll see you both soon then. Bye!" He stepped back onto the warp pad and was gone.

The two gems stood in silence for a moment, watching the empty warp pad. "I have to say, I'm very disappointed. You didn't do a very good job of acting natural," Lapis said eventually.

Peridot wanted to point out that her natural instincts would have directly conflicted with the rules Lapis had set forth, but wisely bit her tongue and shrugged instead. That turned out to be slightly less wise, because for a moment she'd forgotten about her injured shoulder, and the movement caused pain to flare up.

Noticing her discomfort, Lapis reached out and yanked down the strap of her uniform, and narrowed her eyes at the dark green bruise that was beginning to bloom. "That looks painful. You should put some ice on it."

xXx

I'm going to look like a right fool if it turns out those statues aren't the Diamonds at all, haha.

I only just realised when I was writing this that because this is before Monster Reunion, Steven's still at that point where his healing powers aren't working, so his earlier offer to heal Connie back in Chapter Six doesn't quite make sense. I did try and remedy that here by making sure he only offered to give it a try. And you know, despite Peridot's concerns, I don't actually know if Lapis can control Rose's tears. After all, it's not regular water, it's magic gem fluid. Buuuuuut I don't think there's any way I'm going to be able to explore that in this fic now. Ah well.


	42. Walking In The Air

Chapter Forty-Two – Walking In The Air

"I'm going to go and see Steven."

If Peridot had been able to, she would've rolled her eyes and perhaps muttered a snarky comment at this statement, which had been Lapis's greeting to her for three consecutive days now. Perhaps it was fortunate then that her body was once again immobilised inside a large block of ice. But not for much longer; Lapis waved her hands and the ice immediately melted and flew out of the room, back into the lake.

This time however, the other gem didn't immediately leave and instead waited several seconds for Peridot to recover from her ordeal. "I've been thinking."

"…About what?" Peridot asked warily. She reached up and massaged her sore shoulder; weirdly enough, the ice actually seemed to have helped there.

"Yesterday. As I said, you didn't do a very convincing job of acting naturally." Lapis folded her arms and frowned at the smaller gem. "Thankfully Steven just thinks you're homesick. You're going to have to do a better job in future though, or we may have to…" She paused and tapped her chin thoughtfully. "Well… rethink… your presence here in the barn."

Peridot stiffened. The implication was clear – if she, Peridot, couldn't do a good enough job convincing any visitors that all was well, Lapis would make sure she wasn't around to meet them. Whether that meant temporarily or permanently, she couldn't be sure, but she had a nasty feeling that if Lapis poofed her once, she might just decide it was more convenient to keep her that way, and she couldn't risk that, not now. "I was unprepared for Steven's arrival here yesterday," she blustered. "I'm quite sure that if I'm placed in that sort of situation again, I will be able to put on a more convincing performance."

"Hmm." Lapis wrinkled her nose. "We'll see."

She turned and walked out of the barn, but, recalling the previous few days, it was a solid hour before Peridot allowed herself to start work, which was when she discovered most of her tools were missing, presumably bubbled. Although she still had the precision tools safely in her gem, she was going to need something bigger to take apart the toaster.

She opened the drawer set into the kitchen counter, which contained a motley collection of mismatched cutlery. A butter knife wasn't really the best substitute for a screwdriver, but it would have to do. She reached for it, and then hesitated. And then, after a quick look around, she held her hand over the knife and concentrated. The knife wobbled, floated a few centimetres into the air, and then fell back into the drawer. She wiped a bead of sweat off of her forehead and tried again. This time, the knife slowly but surely rose into her waiting grasp. True, it would've been quicker and easier to just pick it up, but if she ever wanted to get better at using her newfound powers (and the thought made her smile gleefully, despite present circumstances), then she needed to practise using them every chance she had.

Still, time was of the essence now. With that thought, she unplugged the toaster and began taking it apart.

xXxXx

Recalling how long she'd had to wait the day before, Lapis had left for the beach house a little later, but to her disappointment, Steven was still asleep when she arrived. She briefly contemplated making some noise accidentally-on-purpose to wake him up; if she couldn't watch him sleep, she wasn't really sure what else to do with her time.

However, something else _was_ awake, and it padded to the edge of the upper level in silence, watching her intently as she walked around the kitchen, debating whether or not to press the buttons on the microwave.

"Mrowrr."

Lapis yanked her hand back and spun around to see Lion watching her with quiet, accusing eyes. "Oh, it's you," she muttered with distaste. "Dumb overgrown housecat. Shoo."

Lion yawned widely, showing off a mouth filled with razor-sharp teeth, and then sat down, staring at her even more intently and making it completely clear that any attempt to tamper with noisy household objects would be met with resistance. Lapis was pretty sure she could subdue him, but it might be difficult to explain to Steven why she was wrestling with his pet, so she retreated to the sofa and glared at him. "Why don't you open a portal to the sun and jump in it?"

Lion made no response, but just continued to stare at her until she turned away. She heard the faint sound of movement and glanced up, hoping he'd gone away, but no, he was still there, still watching her. "I'm not going anywhere," she said crossly.

Lion blinked slowly.

"I mean it! You don't scare me!"

She picked up a cushion and aimed it at him, but before she could let it fly, a sleepy voice spoke from somewhere behind him. "Lapis? Are you arguing with Lion?"

"O-of course not!" Lapis quickly dropped the cushion back on the sofa and laughed nervously. "That would be silly."

"Not really." Steven yawned and stretched. "I argue with him all the time, usually about whether Lion Lickers are an acceptable substitute for Cookie Cats."

Lion's ears pricked up at the mention of his favourite snack and he looked around hopefully at the boy. "Mrr?"

"No." Steven folded his arms and gave the animal a stern look. "We haven't got any and they're gross."

Lion narrowed his eyes at the boy, and looking mortally offended, stood up and walked down the stairs.

"How's Peridot?" Steven asked. "Is her arm OK?"

"She's fine. I put some ice on her shoulder. I was thinking," Lapis said, changing the subject as Lion walked out of the door behind her. "Do you wanna see something cool?"

Stevens eyes lit up. "I always wanna see something cool!"

She waited while he got dressed and ate breakfast, then led him to the warp pad. Moments later, they were North, and Steven, who hadn't been expecting snow, began to shiver. "W-w-w-why are w-w-w-we h-h-here again?" he eventually managed to say through chattering teeth.

Lapis grinned and waved at the snowmen and snow lion, still stood nearby. "Remember when you asked me to guess what happened the other day? Well," she continued, before he could answer, "check _this_ out!"

She waved her hands and the snowmen stepped forward, bowed, and began to dance while the snow lion stood up and shook out its mane.

"Oh wow!" Steven exclaimed, forgetting the cold for a moment. "That _is_ cool!"

"Literally, right?" Lapis said with a laugh. "They're not sentient, not like your watermelons," she added as the snowmen tangoed across the snow. "But still, cool."

"They r-r-remind me of the Snowman," Steven said absently, hugging himself to keep warm. "TV show," he added at her blank look. "Th-th-th-they play it every w-w-winter. Th-th-the sn-snowman comes to life in the n-n-night and they fly to the N-north P-p-p-pole and there's other snowmen th-there and they give th-the boy a gift b-b-b-but-"

"Are you OK?" Lapis interrupted, concerned by his stuttering. "Something's wrong with your voice."

Steven laughed. "I-I'm j-j-just cold. If I'd kn-known w-w-we were coming here again, I w-w-would've worn a s-s-sweater."

"Oh, right." Lapis smacked a hand to her head. "I forgot humans are affected by small temperature changes." She stared at the dancing snowmen for a moment, wondering what to do. She didn't want to suggest going back to the temple, she knew what day it was and she didn't want the Crystal Gems stealing Steven away, not when she'd finally managed to get him all to herself. But still, it was disappointing that he was too cold to fully enjoy her trick. "Oh, I know!" she exclaimed as an idea suddenly popped into her mind. "Let's do the same thing! We'll fly with the snowmen and get you a gift!"

Steven cast the snowmen a doubtful look. "Th-th-they can fly?"

"I can make them fly," Lapis corrected. She flicked her hands, and the snowmen and snow lion rose into the air. Then she picked up Steven and flew after them.

xXx

How appropriate that this chapter goes up during the Christmas season! That said, although The Snowman has been on every Christmas since I was born, I don't know if it's a regular thing across the pond. Then again, SU is set in an alternative Earth so the TV schedule is probably a bit different, especially as Christmas itself doesn't exist, which is why I omitted the bit where the boy and the snowman meet Santa.

Also I messed up with the art for Chapter Thirty and drew Steven in his usual t-shirt, so him being colder now than he was then doesn't really make a whole bunch of sense. I do still have the original drawing with all the layers though, so maybe I'll just go back and draw a nice, warm coat on him, haha. Or maybe it's just colder today!


	43. Four Minute Warning

Chapter Forty-Three – Four Minute Warning

Pearl looked at the clock again and frowned. "This is ridiculous."

"I'll try calling him again," Connie said quickly. She tapped at the screen for a few seconds and held the phone to her ear, but once again, it went straight to voicemail.

"I really didn't expect Peridot to show up, not after the utter fiasco that took place on that mission," Pearl continued to complain. "Although it's very rude of her not to let me know. But I expected better of Steven!"

"Maybe he just forgot the day," Amethyst said with a shrug. "I mean, it's been a weird week, even by our standards."

Pearl sighed. "That's true," she admitted. "In all the excitement, I almost forgot about training myself." Amethyst raised an eyebrow at that, and Pearl smiled a little self-consciously. "Fine, I didn't. But I _did_ mean to remind Steven, and I _did_ forget to do that. Well. Sort of," she amended again. "He was out all day with Peridot and Lapis, and when I'd finished sorting out that new stack of spears, he was asleep and I didn't want to disturb him. So I decided I'd remind him this morning, but when I came out of the temple, he was already gone."

"Maybe Lapis came over early and kidnapped him," Amethyst suggested, and then cackled with laughter. Then her laughter faded. It was all too easy to imagine the sullen blue gem doing exactly that.

"You might be right," Connie said slowly. "I mean, not about her kidnapping him, but if they're flying somewhere, he might not be able to get a signal."

Pearl mulled over that thought for a moment. "What about Lapis's phone?" she said eventually. "Peridot made it herself, so it may function differently to Steven's phone."

Connie's fingers hovered over the keypad. She didn't really want to have to call Lapis, but her desire to know where Steven was overruled her reluctance. "Do you have the number?"

"Er…"

Pearl looked hopefully at Amethyst, who shrugged in return. "Don't look at me. I ain't got a phone."

At that moment, the temple door opened and Garnet stepped out. "I have a phone," she said calmly, and pulled Kofi's old cell phone out of her hair. "Who do you want to try first?"

"Try Peridot," Pearl said immediately. "Even if she doesn't know where Steven is, she can at least explain her own absence."

Garnet tapped the screen and squidged the phone up against her hair. "It's out of service," she said after a few seconds. "I'll try Lapis." Again, there were a few moments of silence as they all waited, and then Garnet shook her head. "Nope."

"Well!" Pearl huffed and crossed her arms in annoyance. "As Connie is the only person to bother showing up, she gets first choice from the Pearl Prize Pouch. Come along, Connie," she commanded, crossing the room and heading for the warp pad. "I have some advanced moves you can try out against my holo-Pearls."

Amethyst watched them disappear, and then glanced over at Garnet, who was looking down at her phone with a small frown on her face. "What's up, G-Squad, a PPI message? Because you can block those, y'know."

"The messages were different," Garnet said thoughtfully. "Lapis's phone went to voicemail, but Peridot's didn't connect at all."

"Maybe it's out of battery? Or she took it apart to tinker with it some more? I dunno." Amethyst shrugged helplessly.

Garnet frowned down at the phone again. There were many harmless reasons why Peridot's phone wasn't responding, but there was one that she found troubling. Ordinarily she would have dismissed it, but it reminded her of some other visions she'd had recently. She'd seen nothing to prove that they were taking place in this reality, but the fact that she'd seen more than one worried her. "I think-"

The phone suddenly buzzed in her hands and she dropped it with a yelp of surprise. Amethyst snatched it out of the air and looked at the screen. "It's Steven."

"Hand it over," Garnet commanded, annoyed with herself for being caught off-guard.

Amethyst ignored her and stabbed a finger at the phone. "Steven! You're in big trouble!"

There was a burst of static, and then Steven replied. "What? What's wrong?"

"Give it!" Garnet hissed, lunging for the phone.

"You missed training!" Amethyst replied, stretching her upper body out of Garnet's reach. "Pearl is really pissed off!"

Garnet stretched her own upper body up to try and reach for the phone again, but Amethyst twisted her arms around her leader's to try and immobilise her. "Yeah, today," she said in response to a question Garnet hadn't been able to hear. "Where are you?"

"Would you at least put it on speaker?" Garnet growled, stretching her arms around Amethyst as she tried to poke the screen.

"Shh," Amethyst said crossly. "I can't hear him. Where? England? What do you wanna go to England for? You don't even _like_ tea!"

"Ask him if Lapis and Peridot are with him," Garnet said, finally giving up.

"Are Lapis and Peridot with you?" Amethyst asked, finally obeying an order. "Uh-huh. Uh-huh. OK. All right, love ya, bye, bring me back some mince pies."

"Don't eat Marmite!" Garnet yelled as she realised she wasn't going to get a chance to talk to him.

Amethyst ended the call. "He said Lapis is with him, but Peridot isn't, and he's already seen three chavs and a horse wearing a bowler hat."

"I think we should go to the barn," Garnet said abruptly.

"Wait, what?" Amethyst blinked in surprise at the sudden change in subject. "Why? Is this about Peridot?"

Garnet nodded. "If she's not with Lapis and Steven, she must be there and I want to know why she didn't show up for training. I know Pearl didn't expect her to," she added as Amethyst opened up her mouth. "But I just… want to check on her."

"OK." Amethyst tried to hand back the phone, but found her arms hopelessly knotted up with Garnet's. "Ah. We uh, might have a bit of a problem here."

xXxXx

Peridot pushed the toaster back into position against the wall and plugged it in. It was non-functional – almost all the internal mechanisms had been removed - but as Lapis was unlikely to ever use it, she was fairly certain the deception would go unnoticed.

Then she picked up her newest creation: a handheld radar device. She flicked a switch, and the device came to life in her hands and began to beep as it scanned the surrounding area. Then, to her horror, a small dot suddenly blipped onto the screen and began rapidly approaching the barn. She fumbled for the switch again, just as Lion skidded into the barn.

"Lion?" She was surprised to see him, but not displeased. "What are you doing here?"

Lion, being a lion, didn't answer. But almost as soon as the words left her mouth, she heard the distant warp pad chime, and the radar began to beep again. She looked at the three dots on the screen and realised immediately who they represented. A quick glance outside confirmed her suspicions.

Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl.

She felt almost sick with fear. There was absolutely no way at all she could act naturally around all three of them with so little warning, and when Lapis found out, she would kill her. "Hide me!" she squeaked, jamming the radar device into her gem and lunging for Lion's mane and the mysterious portal she knew was there.

Lion immediately took a step back and watched impassively as she fell on her face in front of him. Undeterred, Peridot jumped to her feet and made another grab for his mane. "Let me in! It's an emergency!"

Lion took another step back, but this time, when Peridot overbalanced, he leaned forward, picked her up by the scruff of her jumpsuit and then turned and jumped into a portal.

When the gems arrived a short time later, the barn was empty.

xXx

Lion, don't be a lil shit. Peridot's under a lot of stress right now.


	44. Girl Talk

Chapter Forty-Four – Girl Talk

"Well, nobody's here," Amethyst said unnecessarily. She glanced around the barn, which she hadn't seen for several weeks now. "The place looks good though. I'm impressed."

Pearl surveyed the barn interior with a critical eye. "It looks… different."

"The hole in the wall's gone, if that's what you mean," Garnet said, looking up at the enclosed upper level.

"No, it's not that." Pearl shook her head. "I came here to offer Peridot training, remember? I distinctly recall praising the symmetry of the kitchen cabinets, but they seem a little off-centre now."

"Does it matter?" Amethyst picked up a slightly bent butter knife and examined her reflection in the blade.

"No, I suppose not," Pearl admitted.

Garnet knelt down and examined the support beams, which had obviously been recently repaired. Then she craned her head back to look at the upper level, wondering if some heavy object placed up there had caused the beams to become damaged, but couldn't see anything obvious. Then she crossed the barn and examined the support beams on the other side, which all looked perfectly fine. "Pearl?" she asked. "What's this enclosed area up here?"

"Oh, that?" Pearl walked over and stood next to her. "I believe that's Lapis's room."

"What's she got in there?" Amethyst asked, interested. "Like, an aquarium or something?"

"I don't know." Pearl wrinkled her nose, which was an impressive feat, considering the nose in question. "I wasn't allowed to enter- Garnet! What are you doing!?"

Garnet pushed experimentally against the trapdoor and then stepped back down the ladder. "It seems to be locked."

"Maybe Lapis is worried about weirdos rummaging through her stuff," Amethyst said dryly, and glanced in Pearl's direction. "I can dig that."

Pearl raised her nose snootily into the air. "If you're talking about that revolting pile of mouldy linen I burned, I'm not sorry."

"It was my brunch!"

Garnet ignored them both and looked back at the doorway they'd entered through. Wide open, and one of the doors was damaged. Apparently, security was only an issue for Lapis's room. Then she crossed the barn again to another enclosed area. This time, the door was unlocked and she peered into a bathroom that looked remarkably like their own. "Empty."

"Sooooooo…" Amethyst absently began carving an 'A' in the kitchen counter with the knife. "What do we do, wait for someone to come back?"

Garnet thought for a moment. There was nothing here to really confirm her suspicions, but nothing to deny them either. But now she was here, she was beginning to realise that if something was wrong, it wouldn't help matters if the three of them confronted Peridot with no warning. "No, I have a better idea."

xXxXx

The portal opened and Lion skidded to a halt in a quiet, suburban street, whereupon he opened his mouth and let Peridot fall to the floor. "What was that!?" she scolded, sitting upright and reaching behind her to make sure he hadn't drooled down her back. "I am not a 'kitten', you can't just… _grab_ me like that! And at least warn me before-"

"Peridot?"

Peridot stopped mid-rant and tilted her head around to see Connie and her father standing by a car and staring at her. "Um. Yes?" she said carefully, pretending there was nothing at all slightly odd about this situation. She had, after all, been in stranger ones. The thought crossed her mind that Lapis might not be happy if she found out that Peridot had left the barn and run into Connie, even if it was to escape the attention of the Crystal Gems. It was a most unwelcome thought, and she immediately decided to ignore it for as long as possible.

"What are you doing here?" Connie asked. "And why didn't you come to training? You said you were going to, Pearl got more googly glasses especially."

Peridot slowly stood up and brushed off her clothes, stalling for time. "Lion brought me here," she said, jerking a thumb in the direction of Lion, who had entered the garage and was now circling the car with interest, much to Doug Maheswaran's obvious distress. "And… it's a long story."

Connie shrugged. "Well, training was cut short because Amethyst and Garnet managed to tie themselves into a knot and Pearl had to untangle them, so I have time. Do you want to come in?" She waved at the house they were stood next to.

"Um…" Peridot thought for a moment. The sensible thing to do would be to decline and ask Lion to take her somewhere else until the Crystal Gems left the barn. But she was here now, and she did want to look at Connie's house, and she was pretty sure she wouldn't get another chance. "OK. Just for a little while."

"Great! You don't mind, do you, Dad?" Connie asked her father hopefully.

"What?" Distracted, Doug turned around and Lion took the opportunity to climb up onto the warm bonnet, whereupon he immediately curled up and closed his eyes. "Oh! No, I don't mind. So long as your uh, friend gets this animal off of the car." He took a step towards the car himself, but Lion opened an eye and he quickly retreated.

"Shoo," Peridot commanded, reaching up to give Lion a shove. Connie joined her and with their combined efforts, Lion slid off the car and onto the floor. He sat up, glared at them and then stalked away, tail in the air.

"Come on, come and meet my mom," Connie said eagerly, half dragging Peridot out of the garage and up the steps to her front door. Other than Steven, she'd never had a friend to visit and already her mind was brimming over with fun things for them to do.

"Is that you, Connie?" Dr. Priyanka Maheswaran stepped into the sitting room as she heard the commotion in the doorway. Her gaze slid down to the small, green figure standing next to her daughter. "Oh. Hello…?"

"Mom, this is Peridot," Connie said, stepping forward. Beside her, Peridot smiled nervously. She'd never met anybody's 'Mom' before, and she wasn't entirely sure of the protocol. "Is it OK if she stays for a bit? I wanna show her my room."

"Want to," Priyanka automatically corrected. She looked at the clock. "Well… you do have a lot of homework," she began, but then stopped when she saw Connie's face fall. "But it's only Saturday. I suppose you can finish it tomorrow.

"Thank you!" To Priyanka's surprise and pleasure, Connie stepped forward and gave her mother a quick hug, before grabbing Peridot by the hand and leading her further into the house.

She was distracted by the entrance of her husband, who had been checking the garage to ensure it was sufficiently Lion-proof before locking up. "That Peridot, she's another Crystal Gem, right? I seem to recall getting a text message saying she saved the world or something."

"Yes, I think so." Doug took his coat off and hung it up. "I saw her at the house last week."

Priyanka stared in the direction the two girls had gone. "She's… not another mother to that Universe boy, is she? Surely she's far too young."

Doug shrugged. "I don't know," he admitted. "After that dinner, I didn't want to ask."

xXxXx

"And this is my collection of Unfamiliar Familiar books," Connie said proudly, gesturing at the bookshelf. "I've got hardback copies, paperback copies, the new illustrated copies, a Spanish copy, two companion guides and one parody book. Oh, and over here," she continued, pointing to another corner of the room, "I've got all my Tiny Pony Friend miniatures. I don't play with them," she added hastily. "I just like to collect them. Ah!" She darted over to her violin case. "And here's my violin."

Peridot reached out and twanged the strings curiously. The instrument reminded her of Steven's ukulele, but there was something different about it. Her suspicions were confirmed a moment later when Connie smiled, took the violin out of the case, held it up to her chin and drew a bow across the strings. "You play it like this."

"May I try?"

"Sure." Connie handed the violin over and showed her how to position it. "Now put your fingers here…"

Peridot did as she was instructed, and then, trying to copy the movements she'd seen the other girl do, pulled the bow across the strings. A mournful note played across the room and Connie laughed with delight. "Yes! That's it! Now if you move your fingers over here…"

The note changed and in spite of all her worries, Peridot smiled at her achievement. Connie taught her a few more notes until she could play a simple tune, then she took the violin back and played a much more complicated tune.

"So… why weren't you at practise today?" Connie asked once they were done. She knelt down to put the violin back in its case, and then sat next to Peridot on the bed.

Peridot was better prepared for the question this time. "Steven took Lapis and I on a tour of some of this planet's historical gems sites yesterday," she said evenly. "We went to the arena and I fell over the edge. After that, I was reluctant to make a return trip so soon."

"You fell off the arena!?" Connie's jaw dropped, then she quickly looked around to make sure her mother wasn't around to hear this. "Are you OK? I mean," she amended, "obviously you're OK now, but were you then?"

"I was fine. Lapis caught me." Peridot didn't bother elaborating.

"Yikes." Connie stared silently into the distance for a moment. "I never really thought about how high up that place is. I think I'd wet myself if I fell off. Before I died." She shook herself to get rid of the ominous thought. "Is that why Steven didn't show up either? Because you fell off?"

"What?" Peridot looked surprised. "Steven wasn't there?"

"No…" Connie said slowly. "So… probably not that, then."

Peridot thought back to that morning. "Lapis went to see him," she said thoughtfully. "Perhaps they've gone somewhere together and forgot."

Connie pulled a face. "Oh." She bit her lip and then suddenly spoke in a rush. "I don't think Lapis likes me."

"What?" Peridot said, but as soon as she said it, she realised she wasn't all that surprised.

"I know it's silly and I'm probably imagining it," Connie continued, picking at a loose thread on the bedspread. She kept her eyes down as she spoke. "But she just… blanks me. She doesn't look at me or talk to me or anything. Last week, after training, she wanted to show Steven that sword in the sea and she ignored me the whole time she was talking, like I wasn't even there." She sighed deeply. "Like I said, I'm probably just imagining it, or maybe she just doesn't feel comfortable around humans, but I needed to tell someone and I can't talk to Steven about it because he's so happy his 'beach summer fun buddy' is OK after being trapped in a fusion with Jasper for so long." She picked at the loose thread some more. "I thought… you live with her, right? Maybe, do you know…?" She trailed off and looked up anxiously.

Peridot pulled her knees up to her chest and hugged them thoughtfully. "I don't think you're imagining it," she said slowly. "Honestly, I'm not sure if Lapis really likes anybody other than Steven."

"Really?" Connie frowned. "But… what about you? I thought you two were friends now, Steven said you were getting along much better."

"So did I," Peridot muttered into her knees. She felt Connie eyes upon her and sighed. "It's… complicated. I don't want to talk about it."

She desperately wanted to talk about it. She didn't dare talk about it.

Connie drummed her fingers on the bed for a moment. The mood had soured somehow and she wondered how to fix it. Then her eyes settled upon her wardrobe. "Hey." She jumped up, crossed the room and opened the wardrobe doors. "Do you wanna dress up and play popstars?"

xXx

Ha ha! What kind of nerd would keep so many copies of the same books? I mean, I for one certainly wouldn't dream of keeping a collection of Harry Potter books with both the child and adult covers, hardback and paperback, and in various foreign languages, including a US version because I wanted to see what they changed. No way! What a nerd!

OK, so maaaaaybe I took a little inspiration from my own room. Just a little.

And wow, Buck's cell phone plan must be a very generous one. I'm guessing as the mayor's son, he gets some sort of special deal.


	45. London Calling

Chapter Forty-Five – London Calling

When Priyanka Maheswaran opened the door to her daughter's room an hour later, she was horrified by what she saw. "Connie!"

Peridot froze in alarm and Connie, who'd been singing into her hairbrush, stopped abruptly and almost fell over. With six-inch heels 'borrowed' from her mother's closet and strapped to her feet, such a fall probably would've broken her ankles. "Mom!" She quickly leaned over and muted the volume on her computer before her mother could notice that it was playing pop music instead of a classical playlist. "Sorry, were we being too loud?" she asked, trying not to look guilty.

"What is that on your face!?" Priyanka narrowed her eyes suspiciously.

"Um." Connie tried to open her eyes wider so that the sparkly eyeshadow she'd gotten free with a magazine was a little less obvious. Her parents were allowing her greater freedoms now, but she wasn't sure if that extended to wearing a full face of makeup just yet. "It's just a little makeup. A tiny bit. Barely anything."

"It's _completely_ the wrong shade for your skin tone!" Priyanka scolded. " _Pink_ lipstick? Young lady, what you need is red or burgundy."

"Oh!" Connie glanced at herself in the mirror. Now her mother had mentioned it, she had to admit the shade of pink she was wearing didn't look very nice at all, but TweenTalk didn't exactly have many options to pick from, and she said as much.

"Well," Priyanka acquiesced, "I suppose it doesn't really matter if you're just playing up in here in your room, but please don't wear it outside."

"Yes, Mom," Connie agreed, ruefully accepting that her mother had managed to forbid her from wearing her (admittedly cheap and lurid) makeup in public without actually outright condemning it.

"Anyway, I just came to tell you dinner's going to be ready shortly." She smiled at Peridot, who hadn't moved since she'd entered the room. "Would you like to stay, dear? We have enough if you'd like to join us."

"Thank you," Peridot said politely. "But I don't eat. And I should be returning to the barn now anyway."

"Very well. I'll let you two get changed then." Her eyes dropped to her daughter's feet. "Make sure you put _everything_ away properly."

As soon as she had left, Peridot and Connie began reluctantly removing their best attempts at popstar outfits, which really wasn't anything more elaborate than short skirts, short shorts and a sequinned top Connie had found crumpled up in the back of a drawer. "Were the heels OK?" Connie asked, bending over to unlace her own shoes.

Peridot wiggled her toes. "Uncomfortable," she admitted. "But I did enjoy being taller again. Do humans have any similar enhancements for the upper limbs?" she asked hopefully.

"No, not really." Now several inches shorter, Connie put the heels aside for the moment and started pulling down the skirt she'd yanked up under her armpits to a more socially acceptable length. Then down to a more parentally acceptable length. "Actually, now that I think about it, there's really not a lot to make arms cooler. Maybe knuckledusters?" she said doubtfully. "They're like a bunch of rings all linked together," she explained at Peridot's blank look. "You put your fingers through them and then you can punch harder. It's weird really," she continued, warming up to the subject. "We've got all sorts of cool stuff to put on our feet, like skis and ice skates and roller skates and heels and stilts, but not much for the hands. Imagine a pair of gloves that could stick to surfaces so you could climb up walls!"

Peridot thought wistfully of her limb enhancers, which had allowed her to do just that. Shirts were nice, but they lacked a lot of functionality she'd once taken for granted. She folded up the shorts and cropped shirt she'd been wearing and handed them back to Connie to put away, and then they went to the bathroom to wash off the makeup. Then Connie led her to the front door. "Thank you for coming over, I had a lot of fun."

"So did I," Peridot admitted.

"You should come over again soon. I'll show you some of my games." Connie smiled and began to close the door. "Bye, Peridot."

Peridot watched the door close, and then turned and walked the few steps down to the sidewalk where Lion was sat, watching cars pass. She put a hand on his furry mane and sighed. In Connie's house, away from Beach City and the barn and the gems and Lapis's constant, overbearing hatred, she'd managed to push her fears and worries aside for a short time and just 'hang out' with somebody she hadn't even realised was her friend, but now it all came flooding back.

She wasn't going to hang out with Connie again. True, she might manage to get back to the barn undetected. The Crystal Gems had probably gone back to the Temple by now, and if Lapis was still out with Steven, she might not immediately know that Peridot had left. But Connie would tell Steven, and Steven would tell Lapis. Or the Crystal Gems would mention that they'd gone to the barn, and Lapis would force the truth out of her. And then what?

To her dismay, she realised that she didn't want to go back to the barn. It had been her home for months now, she had put so much work into making it a nice, comfortable place to work and relax, and now it was all spoilt. She no longer felt safe there. She was _scared._ She'd been trying not to think about the end, but deep down, she knew it was coming, and probably sooner than Lapis had intended. There was no doubt in her mind that the other gem was thoroughly enjoying her revenge, but she had to be aware on some level that Peridot was trying to find a way out of it (and now she thought about it, that was probably the main reason why Lapis kept freezing her). And now Peridot had managed to leave the barn for two consecutive days, and both Steven and the Crystal Gems had come to visit. It was getting too dangerous to carry on for much longer. Lapis might be enjoying herself, but she was smart enough to know that she couldn't drag things out for months, like she'd done with Jasper. The question was, how long did Peridot have left? Days? Hours?

She gripped Lion's mane a little harder and he growled in annoyance and pulled away. Part of her wanted to just run away now. Lapis would show the Crystal Gems the diary and they'd come after her, but she'd managed to evade them for some time before, she could probably do it again. She could even try and send a message and plead her case.

Except there was also Jasper to consider. If she ran away, the first thing Lapis would do was get rid of any evidence of wrong-doing. Her original diary would vanish, and so would Jasper's gem. The elder gem was an annoying pain in the neck, but she had always been… well, not exactly nice, but not deliberately unpleasant in the way many of her other superiors had been. If there was any chance of saving her, she had to _try_. After all, if Peridot hadn't begged for an escort, Jasper would never have ended up in this mess to start with.

"Ugh." She slumped against Lion. "OK. You're clearly some sort of magical lion, right?"

Lion blinked slowly at her, which didn't really answer her question, but she'd watched enough David Attenborough by now to know that typical Earth lions did not travel via portals, not have them in their manes. And they usually weren't pink.

"Take me back to the barn," she commanded. Lion narrowed his eyes at her and she quickly amended her statement. "Please. But if Lapis is there…" She thought for a moment. "Could you eat her? Please?" she asked hopefully.

Lion blinked again. Unfortunately, it wasn't the crystal clear 'yes' she'd hoped for.

"One blink for 'no', two for 'yes'", she tried.

Lion yawned, curled up and closed his eyes.

Peridot pulled a face at him. "I suppose that was too much to ask for. All right!" She clapped her hands together authoritatively. "If Lapis _is_ there, take me… take me to the moon." It wasn't the best solution to her problems: Jasper would still be in danger, and Lapis at least could fly in space, so if she worked out where Peridot had gone, she'd be able to find her. But there was no water there, and no warp pads, so it would be that much more difficult for Lapis and the Crystal Gems to fight her. "Please."

Lion cracked an eye open and gave her a curious look, but as Peridot appeared to be entirely serious, he opened the other eye, yawned, stretched and waited for her to climb onto his back. Once that was done, he roared, and jumped into the portal.

xXxXx

"I can't believe I forgot about training!" Steven gloomily dropped a sugar cube into his cup of tea and stirred it before taking a sip. "Eugh."

"Still disgusting?" Lapis asked.

"Still disgusting." Steven dropped another sugar cube into the liquid.

"That's fifteen sugar cubes now," Lapis observed. "You must have more sugar than tea in that cup now."

"That's the plan," Steven said grimly, and took another sip. "Eugh."

Lapis shook her head. "Why don't you leave it?"

"It came with the scones." He nodded down at the plate, which now contained nothing more than a few crumbs and a smear of jam. "I don't want to waste it."

"Your dad's a millionaire," Lapis reminded him. "Buy a drink you actually like!"

"Well…" He looked around quickly and leaned closer to her, lowering his voice to a whisper as he spoke. "I'm also afraid that if I leave it, the staff will break my legs."

Lapis looked around as well, slightly bewildered. "Is… is that likely?"

"Don't been fooled by the tweed and the queuing and the posh accents," Steven warned. "British people have a lot of opinions about their tea."

"I could get the snowmen to fight them," she offered, nodding at the two snowmen outside the window, who were being politely ignored by everyone.

"No, that's OK." He dropped another sugar cube into the semi-solid liquid, took a sip and grimaced. "I think I can drink it now." He forced down the syrupy tea, and then paid.

It was a beautiful day in London, which meant it was only a little bit drizzly. Steven showed Lapis the Tower, the Palace, and the really, really long escalator in one of the tube stations. He brought presents for everyone, including himself, but the whole trip was slightly spoiled by the knowledge that he'd let Pearl and Connie down today and as a result, the presents were slightly more extravagant than they needed to be. Another small problem that he hadn't taken into consideration was the time zones. Although they'd left Beach City (and the North) quite early in the morning, it had been mid-afternoon when they arrived, and now, just a few hours later, the shops were closing as darkness fell.

"We could go to Australia again," Lapis suggested. She was aware that Steven wasn't enjoying himself as much as she'd hoped, and she desperately wanted to try and turn things around. "I think it's still morning there."

"I dunno…" Steven stepped aside as a bus passed by them, splashing dirty water as his feet. "Maybe another day. I feel like maybe I should go back and apologise. I should've done that straight away."

"But it's just training," Lapis argued. "You can train any day. You can train tomorrow."

"But _Connie_ can't," he pointed out. "She has school all the time, so she can only come over at the weekend, and even then, her parents don't usually let her come over on Sundays." He gloomily kicked at a discarded soda can. "So she'll have gone home by now, and I won't see her for another week."

 _Good_ , Lapis thought privately. "Well, it's far too late to do anything about it now, so you may as well just forget about it and enjoy yourself."

Steven sighed. "That's what I've been _trying_ to do, but it's not working. No." He shook his head resolutely. "I think I want to go home now."

"All right," Lapis conceded, a little gloomily. She crouched down so that Steven could climb onto her back, and then took off with the snowmen in close pursuit. But she made sure to take the scenic route back to Beach City.

xXx

Gah, I need to get cracking on with writing! I've barely done any this week, what with general Christmas chaos going on! I really wanted to draw Connie and Peridot in their popstar outfits too, but there just wasn't time. Perhaps when this is all done, I'll go back and draw more art, there's a couple of other scenes I wanted to do too.

Also, I don't actually know Steven's opinions on tea, but I found the mental image of him forcing down a cup of syrupy-sweet tea to avoid scandalising the British too funny to not include. We do indeed have a lot of opinions about tea.


	46. Party Hard

Chapter Forty-Six – Party Hard

Lapis had intended to simply drop Steven off at the Beach House before returning to barn, but the very moment her feet touched the floor, the door opened and Garnet stepped out. "Ah, Lapis. Could you come inside, please? We need your help."

"Oh." Lapis was immediately on guard. "Why?"

"What's up?" Steven added, sliding off Lapis's back and landing on the deck with a thud. Then he gasped. "Do you need Lapis to hold the water out of the Sea Shrine so you can examine all the hourglasses?"

"Nope," Garnet said simply.

"Pearl told you about the giant sword and you need Lapis's help to bring it back?"

"Nope."

He thought for a moment and then snapped his fingers. "I know! You can't find Lion, so you want Lapis to fly you to the moon to see if there's any sign of the Rubies?"

Garnet chuckled and reached out to ruffle his hair. "All great ideas, but all wrong, I'm afraid. Come on in." She stood aside and held the door open for them both. "Come inside and I'll explain. _Not_ them," she added, as the snowmen landed and stepped forward.

Reluctantly, Lapis followed Steven inside, where Pearl and Amethyst were waiting expectantly. "Oh good, you're here," Pearl said cheerfully. "Now we can get started."

"Started with what?" Lapis asked suspiciously.

"Our mission," Garnet said, stepping inside and closing the door behind her. She waited until she had everyone's attention, and then explained. "We need to return to the North. It seems that there's another corrupted Jasper on the loose."

"Oh." Lapis thought quickly. A few days ago, she would've leapt at the chance to go on a mission like this, but now, not so much. Peridot had had free reign at the barn for quite long enough today, and she wanted to go back and make sure she wasn't up to some sort of mischief. "But you don't really need me for that, do you?

"Sure we do!" Amethyst grinned broadly. "None of us saw that last monster, we've got no idea what to expect."

"And your water powers will be invaluable among all the snow," Pearl added encouragingly. "Garnet says there's going to be a blizzard soon, so this will be much easier with your help. And I must admit, I, myself, am not particularly fond of fighting in the snow. It tends to hamper my movements."

"Well…" Lapis edged towards the door. Perhaps she could head back to the barn quickly and pop Peridot in an ice cube at the bottom of the lake for a few hours. "I guess I could help out, but I just want to go-"

Amethyst shook her head. "No time, we gotta go now!"

Then to Lapis's surprise, Amethyst and Pearl stepped forward, grabbed her by the arms and began to frogmarch her towards the warp pad. "Wait!" she protested, and jerked her head back at Garnet at Steven. "What about everyone else?" Everyone else, of course, meaning 'Steven'.

"We'll make two trips this time," Garnet said impassively. "The warp pad was uncomfortably crowded last time."

"We'll catch you up!" Steven called after them, as Pearl and Amethyst finally succeeded in dragging Lapis up onto the warp pad and immediately vanished. Once they'd disappeared, he dropped his shopping bags onto the floor and stretched. "I'd better change before we go. I already know I'm not dressed for the North."

"Actually, Steven, I need you to do something else instead." Garnet crouched down next to the boy and smiled at him. "It's very important."

"Like… a _special_ mission?" Steven's eyes sparkled with anticipation.

"The specialist," Garnet said solemnly. "Steven, I need you…"

Steven leaned in closer.

"…to have a slumber party at the barn with Peridot."

Steven blinked in surprise. "That… doesn't exactly sound like a regular mission," he said slowly.

"It's not a regular mission," Garnet admitted. "But it _is_ important." She straightened up again. "The last mission didn't go quite according to plan, and we couldn't ask Peridot to come with us again just yet. She isn't ready. But she'd also be very hurt if she found out we'd all gone without her. So I need you to keep her company while we're away."

"That makes sense," Steven conceded. "OK! I'll go to the barn and we'll have the _best_ slumber party while you guys are gone!"

"I knew I could count on you." Garnet smiled. She watched for a few minutes as he gathered up pyjamas, snacks, a movie and board games to pack in his backpack, and then spoke up again. "Steven?"

"Yeah?" Steven paused in the middle of packing his bag and looked at her expectantly.

Garnet hesitated. "Can you make sure she's… all right?"

Steven put down a carton of hot chocolate mix and frowned. Somehow, he got the feeling that Garnet was concerned about something more than just Peridot feeling left out of the mission. "Do you think she might not be?"

"Oh no, I'm sure she's fine," Garnet immediately hastened to reassure him. "I just realised today that I haven't had a chance to talk with her since the last mission. She hasn't come to the house since then, not even for training today, and I'm a little worried about her."

"Oh." Steven nodded. "She did seem a bit…" He stopped, trying to think of the right word, but all that came to mind was 'down', which seemed rather inappropriate considering what happened the day before. "She didn't seem very happy," he finally said. "Even before she fell off the arena-"

"She what?" Garnet said sharply.

"Fell off the arena," Steven repeated, fidgeting a little. "I should've told you sooner, but she was OK, Lapis caught her. But I guess maybe that could be why she didn't come to training today?"

"Maybe."

There was a brief silence as Steven continued packing his bag, then when he was done, he swung it onto his back. "Garnet?" he said hesitantly. "Do… do you think something's wrong with Peridot?"

"I… no." Garnet shook her head and crossed her fingers behind her back. "It's nothing."

xXxXx

Back at the barn, Peridot was precariously balanced upon a small, wide ladder she'd placed against the wall underneath Lapis's room. By her calculations, she was directly underneath the window seat, the place she suspected Jasper's gem, the two diaries, and all her tools were hidden. Deprived of the latter, she was reduced to sawing through the wooden boards with a bread knife. Two more bent and broken knives lay at the bottom of the ladder, which she'd had to make by using a paint can as a hammer. The slow progress she was making was frustrating, and as a result, she was being a little more careless than she'd usually be. So when her radar began beeping, she almost sliced her own fingers off in her haste to get down and hide all the evidence of her last few hours of activity. But by the time Steven arrived in the doorway, she'd hidden the radar and the broken knives in her gem, and was now sitting on the floor next to the ladder – which was actually the base for a bed – and innocently measuring different sofa cushions against it to see how well they fit.

"Hi Peridot!" Steven greeted cheerfully.

"Oh, hello Steven." Peridot forced her lips into something vaguely resembling a smile and tilted her head slightly so that she could look beyond him to the open doorway. "Where's uh, where's Lapis?"

"Lapis?" Steven put his backpack on the counter and unzipped it. "The gems asked her to go on a mission with them. They've gone back to the North to catch another snow monster."

"Oh." Peridot's smile grew even more strained. There was no way Lapis wouldn't find out she'd left the barn now, and if that wasn't bad enough, now she was alone with Steven. Lapis was _definitely_ going to kill her.

"But we have an even more important mission!" Steven reassured her, completely misinterpreting her unenthusiastic reply. "Garnet said I couldn't go, um… because it's late and dark and cold, and I've been out all day." He mentally gave himself a pat on the back for that completely reasonable excuse. "So she's ordered us to have a slumber party!"

"A… slumber party?" Peridot repeated, confused. "What's that?"

"It's like a sleepover," Steven explained. He tipped his bag out on the counter and began arranging all the stuff.

"You don't need me for that," Peridot objected. "I don't sleep."

"No, but see, that's the difference!" Steven placed his hands on the counter and leaned forward, an enthusiastic sparkle in his eye. "A sleepover is just sleeping at a friend's place, like when I stayed here the last time the others went on a mission. But a _slumber party_ has less sleeping, and more party!" He stepped back and gestured at the pile of stuff on the counter. "See?"

Peridot ran her eyes along the stuffed toys, hot chocolate, movie and board games and wrinkled her nose. "I'm not in a partying mood. Thank you," she added, as the sparkle left his eyes, "but really, you'd probably have more fun on your own, back at the beach house." And then she could get back to work.

"Well, it's an order," Steven said firmly. "I'm staying, and we will have fun, whether you like it or not."

"That doesn't even make sense!" Peridot argued. Her gaze fell upon the movie and she pounced upon it. "Besides, I haven't repaired the multimedia player yet, so if watching this was part of the 'party', you'll have to make other arrangements."

"Why haven't you repaired it yet?" Steven asked in surprise. He knew Peridot enjoyed television, so surely fixing hers should've been a higher priority than making a bed for him, especially as he didn't even live there.

"I don't have any glass."

Steven mulled upon that. "Well… we could borrow Lapis's television-"

"The trap door's locked," Peridot interrupted. She'd already tried that method of entry earlier. "Anyway, she doesn't like me entering her room without permission." Not that Peridot particularly cared about Lapis's privacy any more, but the other gem would definitely notice if her television vanished, and then she might move Jasper and the diaries somewhere else.

"I know!" Steven snapped his fingers. "I'll go back to the beach house quickly and get my TV! And I'll bring my games console too! Warm up some water," he ordered, heading for the doorway. "I'll make hot chocolate when I get back."

"But I can't-"

He held up a hand to stop her protest and grinned. "I have an idea."

xXx

This is definitely the best idea Garnet's had in a long time. You'll have to wait to find out what Steven's idea is. I aim to get the next part up on Monday as scheduled, but I'll warn you now, I am visiting friends that day and it may be a long day and I can't guarantee I won't come home and immediately collapse on the sofa and pass out.


	47. Misery Loves Company

Chapter Forty-Seven – Misery Loves Company

As soon as Steven was out of sight, Peridot shut the broken door as best she could. She briefly entertained the thought of jamming it shut so that Steven would be forced to go home and leave her alone, but she recognised the stubborn look in his eyes from the previous day. She suspected that if she shut him out, he'd sit there all night and make sad noises until she gave up and let him in. Besides, the door was too broken to close properly anyway.

Once the door was sort-of-closed, she tipped the sofa cushions off of the bed frame, flipped it back against the wall and began sawing through the boards above her again. Well aware that she didn't have long until Steven returned for the night, she tried to rush.

To her dismay, the knife jammed.

"Come on, you cloddy…" She gritted her teeth and pulled hard.

The knife didn't budge.

She took a deep breath to calm her nerves, and tried wiggling the knife free. Instead, the bed frame wobbled, slipped sideways and fell over, leaving her hanging from the ceiling like the world's weirdest windchime.

At the same time, there was a faint noise as Steven's bubbled television materialised out of thin air. She stared at it for a moment, and then with a sudden burst of energy, swung her legs up so that her feet were flat on the ceiling. Then she braced herself and pulled as hard as possible.

Other than Steven's games console popping into existence, nothing happened.

"Nyghh!" Panic, now a horribly familiar and really rather tiring feeling, flooded over her, but she resisted the urge to shout all the horrible swear words she'd learned from television. Then she let go of the knife and let herself fall to the ground. Perhaps she could disguise it by hanging a lightshade around it. She wasn't particularly hopeful that it would work, but it was better than being caught hanging around-

Then she smacked a hand against her forehead as she belatedly remembered her new metal powers. Stress was definitely messing with her brain, she thought ruefully, raising her hands up towards the knife. "Please don't be tied to my emotions like Steven's powers," she muttered, focusing her attention upon the knife. Although then again, if that emotion was brain-numbing terror, that could work.

The knife shifted.

At the same time, she heard the warp pad chime. Steven would be back any moment. "Move, move, move!" she squawked, bouncing up and down in the vain hope it would make a difference. And somehow, it did. The knife shot out of the wood and she skipped backwards hurriedly as it bounced off the floor, in real danger of lopping one of her toes off. She snatched it up and put it back in her gem just as Steven pushed open the door and stepped inside.

"OK, I'm ba- Peridot!"

"Y-yes?" Peridot tried (and failed) to wipe the guilty look off of her face.

"You didn't heat the water!" Steven was looking over at the kitchen area with dismay.

"Oh! Right. Um…" She looked around for a moment, and then snatched up one of the discarded sofa cushions. "I thought I'd start moving the bed to the upper level," she lied. "I presume that there will eventually be slumbering involved in this slumber party, correct?"

"Yeah, you're right, that would be better with an actual bed," Steven admitted. "OK, you do that and I'll get started on the hot chocolate instead." He turned on the tap and filled a kettle, watching Peridot throw the sofa cushions onto the upper level out of the corner of his eye. It hadn't escaped his notice that despite her claims, nothing had actually been moved up there until his return, and he wondered what she'd really been doing.

His thoughts were interrupted by a nasty scraping noise as Peridot began to drag the bed frame across the floor, and he winced. "Do you want a hand with that?"

"Yes please," Peridot said with relief, and let it fall to the floor. Steven bubbled it, and sent it to the upper level, where it floated next to the television and games console. She climbed the ladder, popped the bubbles and began setting up the electronics while Steven returned to his task.

"OK, chocolate's ready!" he called a few minutes later.

"I'll be right there," she called back. Despite everything, she had to admit, she was rather looking forward to seeing how Steven intended to get her to try hot chocolate. She slid down the ladder and joined him at the kitchen counter, where he'd placed two mugs of steaming, frothy brown liquid and another empty mug.

"I was thinking," Steven began. "You can't shapeshift a digestive system, so you can't eat or drink because there's nowhere for food or drink to go. Right?"

Peridot nodded. "Yes, we already established that."

"But you can still put things in your mouth and taste them, right?" he continued excitedly. "So I thought, why don't you take a mouthful of hot chocolate, swish it around in your mouth, and spit it out into the empty mug? Then you can just pour it down the sink when you're done."

Peridot opened her mouth and then shut it again. It actually wasn't a terrible idea… except for one problem. "Steven, I have been on this planet long enough now to know that such behaviour is not socially acceptable."

"Aha!" Steven waggled a finger at her and grinned broadly. "See, now that's where you're wrong, because rich people do it all the time with wine. It's how they do wine tastings without all getting incredibly drunk. And," he added, seeing that she still looked unconvinced. "I'm sort of a rich person now, so it's OK. Plus I suggested it, and we're the only ones here, so there's nobody around to be offended." He paused. "Maybe don't ever do it around Pearl though," he conceded.

Peridot couldn't argue with that logic and quite honestly, she didn't want to. She picked up the mug and sniffed it warily. The liquid smelt sweet and smooth and somehow comforting. She raised the mug to her lips and took a tiny sip, letting the hot chocolate roll around her mouth for several seconds. Then she picked up the empty mug and spat it out.

"Well?" Steven asked.

"It's good," Peridot admitted. "I like it."

"Really? That's great!" He grinned in delight. "You gotta try soda next! And juice! And I bet this would work for food too! Like, I thought about chewing gum because you're not supposed to swallow it anyway, but it doesn't have to just be gum, you could try some of the popcorn I brought for the movie!"

"Maybe." She took another sip and spat it out. "I'll consider it."

He watched her for a moment and then averted his eyes while he drank his own hot chocolate. Despite his reassurances, he had to admit, it really was kinda gross watching her spit out the drink. "I wonder if Lapis would try this," he mused aloud. "She might be more willing to try food and drink if it didn't have to be pooped-"

Peridot, distracted by the mention of Lapis, accidentally swallowed a mouthful of her drink. With nowhere for it to go, her body tried to forcibly reject it and she began coughing and spluttering, spraying the counter with hot chocolate. Steven reached over and thumped her on the back. "You OK?"

"I think I did it wrong," she managed to say between coughs.

"I did that once with a soda," he admitted. "It came out of my nose. It wasn't very nice."

Peridot fixed him with an accusing glare. "You never warned me it could be dangerous!"

Steven looked apologetic. "I forgot. Sorry."

Peridot picked up her two half-empty mugs and tipped them down the sink. "I think that's enough consumption for me for today," she muttered.

"Sorry," Steven said again. "If you like, I can leave the jar here and you can practise?"

A sudden mental image of her spitting hot chocolate over Lapis suddenly popped into her head, making her chuckle. "Sure. Why not."

The next few minutes passed by quietly. Peridot wiped down the counter while Steven finished his own drink and washed the mugs. Then he pulled his phone out of his pocket and checked the time. "It's a bit too early to watch the movie yet," he said. "Let's play a game."

" _Not_ Empire," Peridot said at once, and Steven laughed.

"Not Empire," he agreed. "No, a computer game. I've got Avenues of Anger, Death Fight, Car Theft Five and Candy Dash."

"Avenues of Anger? Death Fight?" Peridot repeated with surprised. " _Car Theft Five?_ " There was, of course, a chance that the names were just misleading, but still, they didn't sound like titles she would've expected Steven to own.

"I borrowed them from Onion," he said by way of explanation. "I don't have many multiplayer games and Amethyst said she wanted to play something other than Lonely Blade."

Peridot picked up the case for Car Theft Five and turned it over in her hands. "What is the objective for each one?"

"Well." Steven tapped the box for Avenues of Anger. "In Avenues of Anger, we have to work together and beat up the bad guys who attack us." His moved his hand over to Death Fight. "In Death Fight, we can either both fight the computer, or we can fight each other. Don't play it against Connie though, she knows all the Fatal Death combo codes. In Car Theft Five," he continued, pointing to the box in her hands, "we steal cars. You're supposed to use them to do crime missions, but I just like driving around. That one's Amethyst's favourite. She likes doing stunts in the cars. And in Candy Dash," he finished, "we race each other around race tracks that look like desserts."

Peridot considered the options. On the one hand, Candy Dash sounded tempting. Racing around a track that looked like cake sounded fun and none too stressful, which was just what she needed right then. But on the other hand, beating up bad guys sounded rather therapeutic and would probably do a better job of distracting her from the knowledge that she wouldn't make any progress in breaking into Lapis's room that night. "I think I'd like to play Avenues of Anger," she decided.

"An interesting choice," Steven said with a solemn nod. "I'll set it up."

Avenues of Anger turned out to be quite a lot of fun. Steven and Peridot worked well together, making sure that power-ups and weapons were distributed to whoever needed them most, and backing each other up in battle. Eventually though, they ran out of lives and continues and the GAME OVER screen popped up. Steven stretched and then leaned over to turn off the console. "That was fun! I've never gotten that far on my own. I don't get much further when I play with Amethyst either," he added. "She hogs the power ups. Next time, I bet we could make it all the way…" He lowered his voice to a reverent whisper. "To the _final boss!_ "

Peridot made a non-committal noise as Steven slid down the ladder to make popcorn for the movie. She really rather wished people would stop saying 'next time' to her, all it did was remind her of her impending doom. To distract herself, she picked up the movie case and looked at the cover. "Despondency," she read aloud, and wrinkled her nose. "That doesn't sound like a particularly encouraging title."

Steven laughed. "It's not supposed to be encouraging!" he called up the ladder. "It's a horror movie! I borrowed it from Sadie."

"Didn't Pearl say you weren't to borrow any more movies from Sadie?" Peridot asked, leaning over the edge of the platform so she could watch him making the popcorn.

"No… not exactly." The microwave timer beeped and he took the bag out and gave it a shake. "She just expressed a little disapproval." He began climbing up the ladder. "Well. A lot of disapproval. But it just _has_ to be a horror movie at a slumber party!"

Peridot looked puzzled. "Why does the genre of movie make a difference?"

"I don't know exactly," he admitted. "I haven't really had many slumber parties before, but after the last one I had with the gems, I thought it would be fun to do it again properly, so I had a look online to see what sort of stuff we ought to do and one of the things that kept coming up was watching a horror movie. Also manicures," he added. "But I thought we could do that in the morning. It's difficult to eat popcorn with wet nails." With that, he climbed over the edge of the platform, tossed the unopened bag of popcorn onto the sofa, took the movie case from her and slid the DVD into the tray.

xXx

Steven... no... I don't care if the damn Queen spits out her wine, it's still gross. And a shocking waste of wine. Did you know though that just the smell of chocolate is believed to improve a person's mood? There's a reason J.K. used chocolate to treat the effects of a Dementor attack. So maybe getting some form of chocolate into Peridot isn't such a dreadful idea... other than the fact that there's nowhere for it to go.

And Steven's (well, Onion's) games are based on regular games except for Candy Dash, which is a rip-off of Sugar Rush from Wreck-It Ralph. And there's another reason why Amethyst likes Car Theft Five. Can you guess why?

Hope you all had a great Christmas!


	48. Dream On

Chapter Forty-Eight - Dream On

The movie started off pleasantly enough as Peter Shellder finished his novel and began driving home through the snow. Then when he crashed his car, neither Peridot nor Steven were overly concerned for his wellbeing when he woke up in the home of Anna Wicks, the nice, cheerful woman who'd found him. In fact, it wasn't until around the twenty minutes mark, when Anna finished reading "Despondency's Child" and realised he'd killed off her favourite character, that they began to realise what the movie's main conflict was going to be about.

"She seemed so nice!" Steven whispered in horror as Anna screamed and ranted and broke the furniture.

Peridot shuffled uncomfortable. "I'm not sure I want to watch this movie, Steven. Can't we watch one of Connie's DVDs instead?"

"It'll be fine," he reassured her. "People are already looking for him. And besides," he added, nodding at a smiling Anna. "She's better now. And she said she's his number one fan, so she won't really _hurt_ him. Maybe everything will be all right."

"You're doing the right thing," Anna said. Moments later, Peter's new manuscript went up in flames, making Steven, Peridot and Anna jump in alarm.

"OK, so, I was wrong," Steven admitted. "But still, I'm sure it will be fine."

It wasn't fine. The two young gems sat in tense silence as Anna stormed out of the house to buy paper, leaving Peter trapped in his room, writhing in agony from the blow to his broken legs. Their hope when he held back his medicine and tried to drug her was dashed when she spilt the wine. When he left the room a second time and found Anna's horrifying scrapbook, they both recoiled in revulsion. And then when she suddenly loomed out of the darkness and stabbed him with a needle, they both screamed and grabbed at each other, sending the popcorn flying.

Then Peter woke up.

"Steven, she knows he left the room!" Peridot hissed, clutching the boy's arm hard enough to leave bruises. "What's she going to do to him!?"

"I don't know!" Steven hissed back. "Shh!" he added as Anna whipped out the knife that had been hidden under the mattress.

The camera panned back, revealing the restraints holding Peter to the bed, and Peridot dug her fingers in tighter. "What's she doing!? Is she going to kill him!?"

"They didn't kill them," Anna said onscreen.

"I don't think she's going to kill him," Steven whispered. "She hasn't got her book yet."

"They called it 'hobbling'," Anna continued cheerfully, and placed a block of wood between Peter's ankles.

Steven gulped as realisation flooded over him. "I think it's still gonna hurt a lot though."

"Anna, please don't do it!" Peter begged.

Anna smiled and picked up a sledgehammer. "Shh, darling. Trust me."

After that, there was a lot of screaming, not all of it onscreen. "Turn it off, turn it off!" Peridot shrieked, disappearing over the back of the sofa. "I don't want to watch any more!"

"Sorry!" Steven lunged for the TV and stabbed wildly at the buttons. "I didn't think… sorry!"

The disc tray popped out and silence fell over the barn. Steven quietly put the DVD back in its case, and then knelt on the sofa so that he could see over the back. On the other side, Peridot was sat on the floor, hugging her knees and looking rather nauseous. "I'm sorry," he said again. "Sadie _promised_ me it wouldn't be gory, so I thought it wouldn't be as scary as the bear one."

Peridot shook her head. "It was _horrible._ "

"Sorry," Steven said once more. He climbed over the back of the sofa and sat down on the floor next to her. "I thought… you were fine with the Camp Pining Hearts special, and you were watching all those Sharkasaurus Park movies…"

Peridot shrugged gloomily. "The melodrama of Camp Pining Hearts can, on occasion, make it difficult to take such storylines seriously. And while I was initially confused about the authenticity of Sharkasaurus Park, I did recognise that such a situation was highly unlikely to actually take place. But _that…_ " She gestured towards the television behind them. "It felt _real_."

And no wonder. The only real difference between her and Peter Shellder was that the human man had something Anna wanted, something that would ensure she kept him alive. But Peridot had nothing to offer Lapis. If Lapis came back and decided to use a sledgehammer on _her_ , there was no reason for her to leave Peridot alive at the end. She shuddered at the thought.

Next to her, Steven sighed. "Yeah, I guess I know what you mean. It's easier to imagine that happening than a serial killer using voodoo magic to transfer their soul into a teddy bear. It's another horror movie," he added as she looked at him in confusion.

"The one that gave you nightmares?" Peridot asked, and she shook her head in confusion when he nodded. "I don't understand. I thought I did, but… why do you watch these movies when you know you don't enjoy them?"

"It's not that I don't enjoy them," Steven protested. "It's…" He thought hard. "It's like, it's _controlled_ fear. And when I watch them with friends, I have other people to _share_ the fear. And also, it's not real." He waved towards the doors as he spoke. "Like, I know there's a lot of real scary stuff out there that wants to hurt me, so sometimes it's nice to watch a film that scares me and know it can't really hurt me, you know? But that one really was a bit too realistic."

"I see." Peridot nodded slowly. "But can we watch something else now?"

"Sure. What do you want to watch?" He hesitated briefly. "Camp Pining Hearts?"

"No," she said quickly. "Not today, maybe another time. Oh, I know!" She scrambled to her feet, slid down the ladder and rummaged through a stack of DVD's in the corner of the kitchen before holding aloft The Life Of Birds. "This one's great!" she said enthusiastically as she climbed back up the ladder. "I especially enjoy the episode about signals and songs; there's a bird that can mimic not only the sound of other birds, but also many other sounds, such as chainsaws, camera shutters, and the sound of a human man hitting his thumb with a hammer!"

"Sounds great, 'Dot," Steven agreed. He sat down of the sofa again, but only half-concentrated on the show, instead wondering why she didn't seem to want to watch her favourite television show any more. It couldn't be anything to do with the canon, he decided. He'd watched every episode with her, and other than season 5, there wasn't anything obvious he could see that could've put her off. But then, maybe it was just simply the fact that she'd memorised every episode and wanted to watch something different for a change? He shook his head to dismiss the thought and turned his attention back to the screen.

An hour later, the episode ended and Peridot turned hopefully to him. "Shall we watch another one?"

Steven yawned and stretched. "I'd love to… but we really have to sleep now," he said apologetically.

"You mean _you_ have to sleep," Peridot corrected.

"Nope!" Steven laughed and shook his head. " _We_ have to sleep! Ah-ah!" He held up a finger and wagged it sternly as she opened her mouth to protest. "I know, I know, gems don't need to sleep, but that doesn't mean you _can't_ sleep."

"I don't _want_ to sleep," Peridot objected. "It's a waste of my valuable time."

"Aww, come on, Peridot!" Steven opened his eyes wide and gazed at her imploringly. "I know I messed up with the movie, but I really wanna do this slumber party properly! And you never know," he added, "you might like it."

Peridot sighed and gave in. Despite her protests, she knew there really wasn't much she could do with Steven there, so she might as well give 'sleep' a chance. "Very well. How does it work?"

"First, we need to get ready by putting on appropriate sleepwear," Steven instructed. He jumped off the platform, jogged over to his backpack and held up his pyjamas. "See, I have my banana pyjamas. I don't remember if there were any pyjamas in the uh, shirts you got from Amethyst, but you can always improvise with a large t-shirt. One of Dad's old band shirts would work."

"OK," Peridot called down. She headed for her chest of drawers and began searching as Steven disappeared into the bathroom to put on his pyjamas. "How's this?" she asked, twirling around in the vast shirt when he eventually emerged.

Steven gave her a thumbs up. "And then you need to choose a slumber companion."

Peridot tilted her head in confusion. "I thought you were my slumber companion?"

At that, Steven cackled with laughter and held up a stuffed animal in each hand. "Nooooo! No, one of these! You hug them while you sleep, like a friendly pillow. I am not a pillow."

"Oh." Peridot scrutinised her choices for a few seconds, and then pointed to his right hand, in which he held a small stuffed green cat. "I'd like that one."

"Good choice." He tossed it up to her, and then switched off the lights on the lower level before climbing up the ladder to join her. "OK. So, do you want to sleep on the bed or the sofa?"

Peridot looked blankly at him. "Does it make a difference?"

"Not really." He shook his head. "Only if you're tall. Which neither of us are."

"In that case, I'll take the sofa." She nodded over at the bed frame. "After all, I did make that for you."

"OK. Now, this works better if you have a pillow and a blanket…" He looked around the platform and spotted a pile of bedding that had been set aside just for this sort of situation. "Aha! Now you just have to lie down, get comfy and close your eyes."

Peridot took the proffered pillow and blanket and arranged them on the sofa before lying down. "Am I doing it correctly?"

"The blanket's supposed to go over you, not under you, but yeah, that's right," he said encouragingly. "Oh, and do you know what dreams are?"

"Nocturnal hallucinations?" Peridot guessed, trying to remember what little she knew about dreams from television.

"That's one way of putting it," Steven laughed. "But yeah, they're like a movie your brain plays to entertain you while you're sleeping. Except instead of a regular movie, it's all jumbled up."

"That sounds weird," Peridot grumbled.

"Yeah, but it makes sense in your head. Just remember though, they're not real." He watched her get comfortable and nodded encouragingly. "That's right! Now you just close your eyes and think of nothing."

Peridot obediently closed her eyes and tried to think of nothing. Her brain immediately retaliated with a mental image of Lapis swinging a sledgehammer towards her ankles, and her eyes snapped open again. "It's not working!"

Steven rolled over, confused. "What's not working? Sleeping?"

"Thinking of nothing," Peridot corrected. "I don't think it's something I can do, I have too many thoughts."

"Well… sometimes I find it helps to think about my favourite TV show," Steven said. "Like, I'll think of my favourite characters in Crying Breakfast Friends, and I'll imagine a new adventure for them. Why don't you give that a try?"

"All right," she muttered, and closed her eyes again. For a moment, her mind conjured up the image of Lapis with a sledgehammer again, but she forced it away and tried to think of something else. Steven had suggested she imagine a new adventure for her favourite TV characters, so she thought back to season 6 and that horrible moment when Pierre, alone in the woods, had been ambushed by his evil twin, Peter. Except this time, instead of him dying, she imagined Percy bursting out of the trees and tackling the imposter to the ground.

"Take that, you imposter!" Percy cried, and hit Peter over the head with a hockey stick.

Peter crumpled to the floor, stunned, and Pierre scrambled to his feet. "Percy!" he gasped. "You saved my life!"

Percy smiled. "I knew something was wrong. I could just _feel_ it."

"Oh Percy!" Pierre gasped, and hugged him tight. "You're my hero. Is there any way I can ever repay you?"

"Well…" Percy said bashfully. "There is something."

"Anything," Pierre said passionately.

Percy pulled back out of the hug and gazed deeply into the other boy's eyes. "Would you… fuse with me?"

"Eugh, fusion," Jasper complained. She stood in the control room of the ship, looking over Peridot's shoulder as she reread the meagre information she had regarding the Crystal Gems. "I had to do it during the rebellion to boost some of the weaker Jaspers and it was always such a pain. I mean, sure, you got bigger and more powerful, but it was only a temporary boost, it wasn't _real,_ y'know?"

"No," Peridot said flatly.

Jasper chuckled. "Yeah, sorry, I forgot. They don't like civilians fusing, do they?"

"No," Peridot said again. "Usually such behaviour is dealt with by retraining, but there have been occasions where the gems in question were shattered."

"Well, I don't think Yellow Diamond has any plans to retrain those two." Jasper poked at Peridot's screens with a finger, much to the smaller gem's annoyance. "Civilian fusions may be frowned upon, but nowhere near as much as _mixed-gem_ fusions."

For the first time, Peridot tore her eyes away from the screen and looked at her escort. "Even among warriors? I thought mixed-gem fusions were believed to be even stronger than fusions of a single gem type?"

Jasper shook her head. "They're powerful, but they're highly unstable. And you can lose yourself in a mixed-gem fusion. You become like an entirely different gem and forget who you really are. Or so I've heard."

"I'm Percy and Pierre," Garnet said with a smile.

xXx

Sweet dreams, Peridot.

Mis-I mean, Despondency! It's been so long since I saw this film, I had to rewatch it for research! And I couldn't watch that bit either. Perhaps Steven should take Pearl's advice and stop borrowing movies from Sadie. As for 'Bearly Alive', I'm sure it wasn't really a teddy bear version of Child's Play, but once I got that idea, it was too good to abandon. And on that note, while the superb lyrebird can mimic chainsaws and car alarms, it did not copy the sound of a man hitting his thumb with a hammer in the actual show. But it probably could.

Both Not-Kevin and Guest were correct in guessing that Amethyst likes Car Theft-I mean, Grand Theft Auto because one of the characters sounds suspiciously like her! Sometimes she'll swear and blame it on the game when Pearl gets outraged.

And hey, this is the last chapter of 2016! See you in 2017!


	49. Total Recall

Chapter Forty-Nine – Total Recall

Steven lay on his side, facing away from Peridot and making sure to keep his eyes wide open so he wouldn't inadvertently drift off. As soon as he heard her breathing slow and then stop, he rolled over to look at her. Her eyes were closed, the blanket was drawn up under her chin, and the green cat was clutched firmly in one hand. She was definitely asleep. Which meant he could put his plan into action.

Slowly and silently, he pushed his blankets aside, stood up and scanned the shadowy platform. Where, he wondered, would Peridot keep her diary?

He knew it was a horrible breach of privacy; unlike her audio logs, which had been made and replayed in full earshot of everybody, he hadn't seen a single word of any of her diary entries, which suggested she'd been careful to keep it private. And if it was anything at all like his own diary, it was bound to be full of deeply personal, private stuff she might not be happy to share. But he was doing it for a good reason, he told himself sternly. Peridot had been acting strangely for the past few days, and after Garnet's vague comments earlier, he didn't want to waste time waiting for her to work up the nerve to talk to him. If he wanted to help her, he was going to have to make the first move. But he was also aware that just flat-out asking if she was OK wasn't going to work this time. He'd tried that the previous day, up on the Sky Arena, and she'd avoided the subject. So if he could find her diary and see what was _really_ bothering her (surely it really couldn't _still_ be the mission to the North?), then he'd be in a better position to approach her.

But where _was_ the dratted thing? He tried to think. Peridot's first exposure to diaries had been through watching Camp Pining Hearts. Maybe she'd copied the campers hiding places? Most of them kept their diaries under pillows or mattresses, so he checked under the stack of bedding, with no success. Then he knelt down and peeped under the sofa, where he did actually find a book wedged into the frame. Except it was the enormous bug book his father had given her, not her diary.

"I'm Percy and Pierre."

Steven jumped violently as Garnet's voice sounded just above him, and he sat up quickly and looked around, wondering if the other gem had come to help him. For a moment he couldn't work out where her voice had come from, but then he heard Peridot's voice reply "Percy and Pierre are objectively the best for each other!" and looked up to see an image of himself and Garnet projected upon the ceiling of the barn.

"Oh jeez, not again!" He quickly averted his eyes before he could see anything as mentally scarring as Pearl's dream and tried to block out the voices as he carried on searching – somehow, watching her dreams felt like an even greater invasion of privacy than just reading her diary.

"So Lazuli has Jasper trapped in a fusion?" Peridot's voice said faintly behind him. He ignored it and lifted the flap of a cardboard box. Inside was Peridot's collection of Camp Pining Hearts DVDs… except there seemed to be something wrong with them.

"You become like an entirely different gem and forget who you really are. Or so I've heard."

Steven didn't even hear Jasper's voice. He picked up a wrinkled case, stained with something orange, and turned it over in his hands before sliding out the inner case and popping out a warped, scratched disk. "What _happened_ to you?" he whispered in confusion.

"I spent months holding that brute captive."

He put the case down and reached into the box again, pulling out another damaged one. And another. And another. Were they _all_ damaged? He reached the bottom of the box and discovered that the answer was yes. "That explains why you got all weird when I suggested watching them," he muttered, turning back to Peridot, whose gem was now projecting an image of himself, sat on the grass just outside the barn.

"Just being on a ship with Jasper made me tired," Peridot muttered, somewhere out of sight. Suddenly the scene changed, and he recognised the control room of the Emerald Hand Ship. "Do you ignore _all_ my reports?" she said, still out of sight.

"Just the boring ones," Jasper replied.

Then the scene changed again and he was looking at another Peridot, one who looked taller and fancier than the one he knew. "It's a very important mission," she said solemnly. "The details are highly classified. Yellow Diamond wants someone to check on the Cluster. You were personally chosen for the job."

"But… surely this is a job for a higher-qualified gem?"

Once again, Peridot herself wasn't visible, and Steven finally realised why. "You're not dreaming at all!" he gasped, and cast another look at the sleeping gem. "You're _remembering!_ This is all stuff you've seen!"

Despite his earlier misgivings, he couldn't help watching as the other Peridot continued to speak. The only glimpse he'd ever gotten of Homeworld was when Peridot had called Yellow Diamond, and now he was actually seeing it through her eyes, he was reluctant to look away. And, he excused himself, if he kept watching, he might get a clue as to where she'd hidden her diary.

That said, the memories were a little difficult to follow. Peridot's thoughts bounced back and forth, wildly out of order and sometimes too fast for him to make out the details. But in between those moments were clear scenes. He watched, enthralled, as a group of completely unknown gems argued amongst themselves as Peridot looked on. Then she followed Jasper through a hallway. Watched Yellow Diamond on her screens. Walked past another group of unknown gems. Watched Lapis through a destabiliser barrier-

He recoiled in shock, suddenly realising that he was looking at Lapis's capture and interrogation back on Homeworld as Jasper said, "she's been there for a long time. She might have some information we can use."

"I shouldn't be watching this." He shook his head firmly and clapped his hands over his eyes. "There."

"I'd like to take her with us, if that's acceptable?" he heard Peridot say, and covered his ears instead. Both Peridot and Lapis would be mortified if they knew he'd seen this! He resolutely turned away and began searching again, trying to ignore the voices whenever he was forced to move his hands away from his ears.

"-sent you a message-everyone-Lazuli-wailing stone-have a package-I'm a Crystal Gem-Crystal Gem uniform-they already _have_ stars-say to Steven?-can't say anything-don't tell Steven-they wouldn't believe you-"

"What?" His head snapped back up at the mention of his name, but the scene had changed again and he saw himself glaring down through the window of the truck before the scene changed again, this time showing himself and the Crystal Gems as they dropped through the sky towards her. "Oh jeez!" he muttered again, and shot an apologetic look back towards the sleeping gem. "We really messed up, didn't we? Oh!" He gasped in realisation. "Whatever's bothering you, is it something you think we're gonna get mad about?"

Of course, Peridot didn't respond. Instead, he heard Garnet say, "you are talking about things you do _not_ understand!" and he looked up just in time to see her gauntlets smash into the control panel on the moon base, making him jump. Then things began to move quickly again.

"-think of the good it would've done-efficient use of all materials-don't care about _potential_ and _resources_ -you're an Era 2 Peridot, they _made_ you defective-"

The image of Lapis glaring furiously down at him was so unexpected, it was several seconds before Steven processed what she'd said. "Wait, _what_?" He turned back to Peridot in confusion. "You're _defective_?"

"-fight you-shatter Jasper-you're an idiot-they get quite violent when they're angry-take Steven back to Homeworld-you don't have any powers-"

"Whoa!" Steven snapped his head back to the projection fast enough to cause whiplash. "Back up, rewind! Do _what_ to Steven!?"

Maddeningly, Peridot's memories refused to cooperate. Instead, everything went blurry and silent. For a split-second, he wondered if perhaps it was something to do with her visor, but then everything suddenly cleared and Lapis was there again. "Unpleasant, isn't it-behave yourself, I won't kill you-act natural-thinks you're homesick-"

"No, no!" Steven wailed. "Go back! I don't understand what's happening!"

"-alone and powerless-summon your weapon-attack you-"

Suddenly, a water clone loomed into view, swinging a sledgehammer, and he shrank back in shock. "When- what- when did-?"

"Shh, darling. Trust me." Anna swung the sledgehammer and Steven immediately clapped his hands over his ears and screwed his eyes shut. He had no desire to see that scene a second time.

Apparently Peridot didn't want to either, because when he dared open his eyes again, the projections had stopped and Peridot was sitting up, hugging her knees and staring into space. Then she caught sight of the empty bed and began looking around. "Steven?"

"I'm here." He raised a hand and stepped forward sheepishly. "I uh, I… I have to go to the bathroom!"

Before she could respond to that, he shot down the ladder, into the bathroom and locked the door. Then he sat down on the floor and tried to think. "Where do I even _start_?" he muttered under his breath.

His name. That's when he'd first started paying attention, when somebody had said not to tell him something. They wouldn't believe her. Who was 'they'? Something about taking him to Homeworld. Who? Surely not Peridot! Even if she _was_ homesick, she wouldn't do that! Who then? Not Lapis, definitely. Not after risking everything to send him a message and then fusing with Jasper to protect him.

Jasper? Steven thought hard. That was actually a definite possibility. Jasper had failed horribly in her mission, she had to know it would take something big to redeem herself. What better than returning to Homeworld with the gem of Rose Quartz? And Peridot, he knew, still held some loyalty towards the Quartz warrior. Was she worried that Jasper would want her help to take Steven back?

What about Lapis, though? He wasn't certain, but he thought it had been her voice talking about taking him to Homeworld. But if she thought that was possible, wouldn't she tell someone? Why had she been so angry though? What was all that stuff about 'Era 2' and Peridot being defective? Why had she attacked Peridot with a water clone? And _why_ had all her DVDs been damaged?

He groaned and shook his head. "I don't understand _anything!_ " He tipped his head back and stared up at the ceiling. "What is going _on_ in your head?"

One thing was for sure, he wasn't going to get any answers from the toilet. He sighed, stood up and flushed it so Peridot wouldn't get suspicious. Then he left the room, climbed back up the ladder and climbed back into bed. Peridot had also lain back down on the sofa, but he knew she was still awake because he could hear her breathing.

There was silence for several minutes, and then Steven sighed and rolled over. "Peridot? Can I ask you something?"

"Go ahead," she replied.

He hesitated a moment longer, wondering if maybe he should start with another question, but then he took a deep breath and blurted out, "you're _not_ homesick, are you? I mean," he carried on, "I know you've been feeling left out, and the mission didn't quite work out like we planned, and you miss your limb enhancers, and you're worried about Jasper-"

"Steven," Peridot quietly interrupted. "I'm not homesick."

"Oh." He nodded slowly to himself. "Good."

She opened her mouth to explain further, then shut it again. Because she was lying. She didn't _want_ to go back to Homeworld exactly, even if Yellow Diamond suffered a sudden case of amnesia and forgot Peridot's various crimes and failures, if she went back, she wouldn't be _Peridot_ any more. She'd be Peridot Facet-2F5L Cut-5XG, one of a million other Peridots, all with a single set purpose in mind. She wouldn't be allowed to learn anything new, she wouldn't be able to experiment with her newfound metal powers, and she certainly wouldn't be allowed to _care_ about anything other than serving the Great Diamond Authority.

But… on the other hand, how much time did she have left to do those things anyway? Wouldn't it be better to live on Homeworld, knowing all the things she'd lost rather than waiting to be destroyed by Lapis at any moment? Not that it mattered, of course. Nothing was wrong with Yellow Diamond's memory, and Peridot had no way of reaching Homeworld anyway.

"I'm _not_ homesick," she muttered again.

"What about Jasper?" Steven asked.

Peridot raised herself up her elbows and looked at him in confusion. "What about her?"

"Well, won't _she_ be homesick for Homeworld? Earth hasn't exactly been a great place for her," he admitted.

"Oh." She lay back down and stared gloomily at the ceiling. "I don't know. Probably. Does it matter, though? As soon as she gets found, she's just going to be imprisoned in your bubble dungeon."

"Not necessarily," Steven argued, a little offended by that comment. "I might let her out."

She rolled over and narrowed her eyes at him. "Why would you do that?"

"Well… I let _you_ out, didn't I?" he reminded her.

"I had something you wanted," she shot back.

"So does Jasper! Sort of," he added at her look of confusion.

Peridot frowned and raised herself back up onto her elbows again. "What does Jasper have that would enable her to bargain for her freedom?"

"She has _you!_ " he declared, a wide, cheesy grin on his face. "You know her better than we do, I'll bet if you vouched for her and offered to explain things to her, the Crystal Gems would be willing to give her a chance."

Peridot snorted derisively at that. "I seriously doubt that. Besides," she spat, settling back down, "even if _they_ were willing to take that chance, I _don't_ think Lapis Lazuli would be quite so accommodating."

"Oh. Right, of course. Malachite." He smacked a hand to his forehead and groaned. "I didn't think of that."

There was silence after that as Steven stared at the ceiling and mulled over his next question. "Peridot?"

"What?"

"Did- is Lapis- are you and Lapis getting along all right?" he stuttered, and then bit his lip in annoyance. _Real smooth, Steven._

There was a pause before she replied. "Of course we're getting along. Why would you think otherwise?"

He took a deep breath. "OK… do you promise not to freak out?"

"No," she said flatly, and Steven couldn't help chuckling.

"That's fair. All right." He rolled over and looked at her again. "So, I didn't know it was gonna happen, or I would've warned you… but when you were asleep, your gem sort of… projected your thoughts."

" _What!?_ " Peridot shot upright, appalled. She tried to remember what she'd been thinking of while she slept, but all she could recall was Percy saving Pierre. After that… nothing. She couldn't even remember what had woken her up in the first place.

"I'm sorry! I didn't know it would happen!" Steven looked apologetically at her. "Pearl's gem did the same thing, but I thought it was just because she does that anyway with the holograms and stuff. Maybe it's a forehead gem thing," he added thoughtfully to himself as Peridot mentally vowed to never close her eyes again. "Anyway, I tried not to look much, but there were a couple of bits I saw where it looked like Lapis might be angry at you?"

"Yes, but… you said the nocturnal hallucinations weren't real," Peridot objected. "So whatever you think you saw, it didn't happen."

"But… that's the thing," Steven said slowly. "It didn't look like you were dreaming, you were remembering things that really happened. I even recognised some of them."

Peridot swallowed hard, fighting down the sick, panicky feeling that was beginning to creep over her. "W-well, my memory has been faulty recently," she stammered. "So I expect some of those thoughts were distorted in the process. Of course Lapis isn't angry with me!" She tried to laugh, as if the very idea was just too amusing to take seriously, but her voice sounded unnatural to her ears and she stopped. "Anyway," she added, switching tactics. "I find it deeply unfair that you are bombarding me with these illogical questions, based on my sleep hallucinations that I don't even remember!"

Steven was undeterred. "So you weren't attacked by a water clone with a sledgehammer?"

"…Well… yes, but we were training," she protested. "So you see, you shouldn't jump to assumptions based on out-of-context, _private_ thoughts that are none of your business."

"You're right." Steven sighed sadly and rolled onto his back. "Sorry. It's just… I'm worried about you, Peridot. I know you're hiding something, and it's making you unhappy-"

"I'm not hiding anything!" Peridot interrupted.

"Oh really?" He narrowed his eyes, rolled over and glared at her. "Not even… your damaged Camp Pining Hearts DVDs?"

Peridot froze. For several seconds, she just stared at Steven with wide-eyed fear. "I-I don't-it was-how did-"

"I'm not mad though!" Steven tried to reassure her. "I don't know what happened, but I know it had to be an accident, right? You love that show! You should've just told me and we could've started replacing them already."

Peridot opened her mouth and then shut it again. There seemed little point in explaining that it hadn't been an accident at all, so instead she used the excuse Lapis had given her at the time. "You'd only just managed to find the winter special. I didn't want to admit that it had been damaged so quickly."

"Well, I gotta admit, that one might be a little tricky to replace," Steven said. "But Dad _is_ a millionaire now, if I explain things to him, I'm sure he won't mind giving me the money to replace them. So long as it doesn't happen again," he finished.

"No, that's OK, I've memorised them all," Peridot said at once, knowing perfectly well that any more gifts from Steven would be instantly destroyed. She managed to force a tiny smile onto her face. "Thank you though."

Steven smiled back. "Feel better?"

"…A little," Peridot confessed. And it _was_ only a little, but even so, it was one lie she didn't have to worry about any more.

"So you know, if there's anything _else_ bothering you, you know you can tell me, right?" he continued hopefully.

"…Right." She rolled onto her back and sighed. No matter how many times Steven said it, she knew his positive nature would make it impossible for him to believe that Lapis was really hurting her. If Connie couldn't even tell him that Lapis was shutting her out, how was _she_ supposed to tell him that the other gem had been outright abusing her for the entire week?

"So…?" Steven waited, but she didn't respond. "Peridot? Is everything OK? Nothing else you want to talk about?"

"Everything is fine." She turned her back on him and hugged the green cat closer. "Go to sleep now, Steven."

xXx

Happy 2017! Good grief, this chapter kicked my butt! Now I know the whole 'Peridot's gem projects her dreams too' is just fanon and it's equally possible that it's something unique to Pearl because she does use her gem for projections a lot, but it was an idea that worked really well for this story, so I pounced on it. But have you ever really concentrated on your memories? When I try to recall things, I either see images with no sound or hear sound with no images. I can rarely remember an event with the images and audio in sync. And they're often just bits, sometimes looped, mostly out of order. The brain is a weird thing.

Buuuuut I figure Peridot is an alien, so her mind is bound to work a little different from mine, and certainly more efficiently. Still, I didn't want to infodump or wind up with tons of stuff just copied from previous scenes, so once I'd figured out what was going on her brain, I then had to trim it down and fragment sentences when Steven wasn't paying attention, but it still involved rereading a bunch of previous chapters and episode transcripts, plus a couple of bits nicked from another fanfiction of mine that focuses on Peridot's Homeworld backstory. So. Butt kicked. But hey, we finally found out where she hid that massive bug book Greg gave her! And Steven finally found her broken DVDs.


	50. Cold Case

Chapter Fifty – Cold Case

"Where's Steven?"

Garnet had been expecting the question and was deliberately vague in her response. "He's had a long day. I told him to stay behind and go to bed."

"I see." Lapis smiled stiffly. She knew she'd been tricked. The question was, had they done it because they knew she wouldn't have come if she didn't think Steven would be there, or was there some other reason? She looked around the snowy landscape thoughtfully. No, they couldn't be planning something. They wouldn't have brought her _here_ if they were.

"Come on!" Amethyst had shapeshifted into a bird and was flying just overhead. "Let's check the caves first!"

"If it was in the caves, wouldn't we have found it the last time we were here?" Lapis asked.

"Just because it wasn't there then, doesn't mean it won't be there now," Garnet said impassively. "Monsters move."

Once again, it didn't take them long to reach the caves. Amethyst and Lapis landed behind the other two gems, and the group walked in silence until they reached the first junction. "So, are we splitting up again?" Lapis asked. Perhaps when they hit another junction and had to split up further, she could double-back and check on Peridot.

Almost as if she'd guessed Lapis's intentions, Garnet shook her head. "Corrupted gems are drawn to other gems. Peridot suggested to me in our last mission that perhaps the reason it took us so long to find the creature was because there were too many of us, overwhelming it. This time, we stick together."

"Then we'd better get moving, hadn't we?" Lapis said, and strode off down the left-hand branch before anyone could stop her.

"Welp, guess we're going that way," Amethyst said with a shrug, and set off after her at a slightly more leisurely pace.

Pearl hung back until their gem glows were almost out of sight, and then turned to Garnet. "So Steven's with Peridot?"

Garnet nodded. "If she's going to tell anyone what's bothering her, it'll be him."

"I don't understand though," Pearl continued in a low tone. "If you think Lapis might be harming Peridot in some way, why don't we just poof her now?"

"Well for starters, she'd defeat us first," Garnet said ruefully, gesturing around at all the icicles. "But mostly because I don't _know._ Everything is circumstantial. What have I seen, Pearl? A broken phone, some ice and a few other vague visions I can't even remember clearly. But every single one of those visions had at least three alternative pathways that lead to those outcomes. Look," she added as Pearl opened her mouth to protest. "We attacked Peridot once without knowing her true intentions, and we were wrong. We would've poofed her and locked her away forever, and she _knows_ that. So even though she has since forgiven us, there's a little bit of her that's always going to be afraid of making us angry again and it's going to take a lot of work to fix that. Lapis, though…" She sighed and gazed after the blue gem. "She doesn't like us, and she doesn't trust us. Maybe she will one day, but certainly not if we poof her unjustly. We'd only succeed in turning her into a very powerful enemy."

"I suppose you have a point there," Pearl conceded, a little reluctantly. "But," she added brightly, "if you change your mind, I'm sure I could make it look like an accident."

Garnet couldn't help chuckling at that. "It's a generous offer, but I'm going to have to turn you down."

"Hey, slowpokes!" Amethyst shouted down the tunnel. "Hurry it up a little! We've reached another junction and Lapis isn't- OK, so, we're taking the left-hand one again!"

"She certainly is eager," Pearl commented as they sped up. "At this rate, she'll have checked the entire cave network in less than an hour."

Garnet shrugged. "You can't really check something thoroughly if you're rushing. We may have to sweep the area a second time. Maybe even a third time."

xXxXx

"Really? Again?" Lapis fixed Garnet with a look of disbelief. "We've checked twice, obviously it isn't here."

"It's easy to get confused in these tunnels," Garnet said, completely unmoved by the other gem's obvious annoyance. "We may have accidentally missed a turning."

"Oh, would you like me to map the area as we go?" Pearl offered cheerfully. "If we make another sweep, I can record the locations of the branches and caves and then we can be sure we've covered everything."

"Or," Amethyst added, "we could just smash up every tunnel as we go. Then we'd know where we've been and if it _is_ moving, it won't be able to escape."

Lapis held up a hand and water began to form behind her, drawn from the snowy landscape outside. "Why don't I just flush the tunnels out? It'll take a minute, at most."

"No," Garnet said at once. "And we're not smashing up the tunnels either," she added to Amethyst. "We don't want to cause any more damage here."

"Seriously?" Lapis raised an eyebrow and looked pointedly at Garnet's gauntlets. "I thought you guys were all about smashing stuff up."

Pearl looked deeply offended by that remark, but Garnet just shrugged. "True. But I prefer to do so in places where it's a little easier to move. We don't want to get trapped in here."

Pearl stepped forward and began projecting from her gem. "Let's begin. We already know this entrance splits into two a little further on, with the left-hand tunnel then splitting into three while the right one splits into two…"

She set off down the tunnel and the other three gems followed behind, with Lapis fighting down the urge to scream with frustration at every step. Pearl insisted upon mapping the tunnels thoroughly, which meant backtracking every time they reached a new junction and exploring previous tunnels before progressing any further, and it was at least five hours before she declared the project complete. And there was still no sign of the corrupted gem.

"Well, I think we've finally established that it's not in these caves," Pearl said cheerfully as they began to head back towards the entrance.

"Are you sure you don't want to check again?" Lapis mumbled under her breath. "Joke," she hastily added as Garnet appeared to seriously consider the suggestion.

"We'll move on now," Garnet decided after a moment. "It's definitely somewhere nearby."

"Great," Lapis said with relief. "Want me to fly up and see if I can see any sign of it from the air?"

"That might be tricky," Amethyst drawled, and waved a hand towards the cave entrance. "Looks like that blizzard's hit."

Sure enough, the wind was howling and snow swirled violently through the air. Lapis held up a hand and froze some of it in place, but even then, she could tell that it was still too thick to really see through. "I could move it all out of the way," she offered, but Garnet was already shaking her head.

"Hold it in place, but don't move it away. You could cause serious damage to the local ecosystem," she said firmly.

Lapis rolled her eyes but did as she was told, extending her power over a wider radius until everything was still. "Now what?"

"Hmm." Garnet adjusted her visor, looking for the most likely location of the snow monster. "That way," she said, pointing in completely the opposite direction.

They began walking. Every now and then, Amethyst would open her mouth and eat a snowflake out of the air, but other than that, absolutely nothing happened except that the blizzard got worse.

"OK, I know I'm new here," Lapis said eventually. "And I haven't had a lot of experience catching monster gems. But are we really making any progress here?"

"These things can take some time," Pearl said placidly. "Remember, it took us two days to find and capture the Sanddragon."

"Yeah, this is nothing," Amethyst butted in. "Remember that one we were looking for underwater? _Not_ Malachite," she added hastily as Lapis glared at her. "It was like, three hundred years ago-"

"Oh yes, I remember the one!" Pearl exclaimed. "It was some kind of jewelled octopus, so of course, it wasn't all that easy to identify among the other marine life."

"It took us a month of solid searching to find it," Garnet added.

Lapis looked aghast. "We're _not_ spending a whole month looking for this thing! What about Steven!?

"Eh, don't worry about him, he's a big boy," Amethyst said dismissively. "We've left him alone _tons_ of times and he's been fine. Mostly," she corrected, remembering the cat fingers.

"But…" Lapis tried to think. She knew there had been some reason why Steven wasn't supposed to be left alone, but at that moment, she couldn't remember what it was. "He's still a juvenile human," she said instead. "You might be able to leave him alone for a couple of hours, maybe even overnight, but you can't leave him alone for a _month_!"

"We're not going to leave him alone for a month," Garnet said calmly. "This mission shouldn't take longer than twelve hours." She shifted her visor. "Thirteen if Amethyst falls down the ravine."

Amethyst grinned. "Duly noted."

Finally, Lapis remembered. "What about Jasper though? All those other times you left him alone, there wasn't an angry, powerful Quartz soldier on the loose, was there?"

"I don't see Jasper approaching Steven in the next twelve- thirteen hours," Garnet said with a small shake of her head. "Besides, I have a cell phone. If Steven needs help, he'll let us know."

"Plus, he could just shelter in the Temple anyway," Amethyst added. "No _way_ could Jasper get in there."

"But-" Pearl snapped her mouth shut quickly. "Ah, never mind."

Lapis pounced at once. "Never mind what?"

"Well…" Pearl smiled nervously. "I must admit, I was a little concerned as to whether he'd be able to get into the Temple quickly enough. But of course," she continued, "it's right down the stairs! Ha ha! Why, no distance at all! It's not like he'd have to run from-"

"This way," Garnet interrupted, and strode off through the snow before anyone could stop her. Pearl and Amethyst exchanged glances, and then ran after her, leaving Lapis to bring up the rear, which she did in silence.

Did they think she was stupid? Actually, she was rather annoyed with herself for taking as long as she had done to realise that Steven wasn't at the beach house, tucked up in bed, but alone with Peridot at the barn. She stared at the backs of the three gems ahead of her and briefly contemplated impaling them with giant icicles so she could skip out on this stupid mission, which was now obviously a distraction, and go check up on them. But they definitely wouldn't trust her any better if she did that, and if she just bubbled them instead, it would be a little difficult to explain to Steven why all of his guardians had mysteriously disappeared.

Peridot, though… it was time for her to go. It was a bit of a shame, she'd hoped to keep her around a little longer, but Peridot was no good at acting natural, and Steven was definitely going to be asking her questions. And the fact that the Crystal Gems didn't seem to want her to know where Steven really was was… troubling. Clearly they didn't _know_ exactly what was going on, or they wouldn't have brought her _here_ , but they seemed to suspect _something_.

So. Poof Peridot, hide her gem. Maybe on the moon? She could put Jasper's gem there too, just to be safe. It wasn't too far to travel and she knew there was no easy way for the Crystal Gems to get there. Then she would hand over the diary and claim the other gem had run away.

Then while they were busy hunting for Peridot and Jasper, she would begin working out how to deal with _them._ After all, it was because of the Crystal Gems that she had been imprisoned in the first place, and they'd never been made to pay for that. It would take a lot of planning to make sure Steven didn't get too hurt, and might take a lot of time to carry out, but five thousand years had taught her how to be patient.

xXx

Hands up everyone who thought the CGs were gonna lure Lapis out to the desert and kick her butt? Unfortunately, as Garnet keeps pointing out, she has no concrete proof that anything's wrong, just visions with other explanations, and the last time they jumped to violence, they were horribly wrong. And Lapis would be a lot less forgiving of such a mistake after her previous treatment at the hands of the CGs. Plus there really WAS a second snow monster in the North! So yeah, their plan right now is just to act as a distraction for as long as possible.

And would you look at that, finally Garnet's future vision got something right. Still, it's pretty difficult for free will to change the weather. Maybe that's why she knew Winter Forecast needed a little extra future vision magic.

Also! Yes, I have watched the leaked bomb, but please, I beg of you, don't post spoilers in reviews! I'd hate for a new reader to go merrily clicking through the reviews to see if this fic is any good and then get completely spoiled!


	51. Second Best

Chapter Fifty-One - Second Best

Steven furrowed his brow in concentration. Then, with extreme care, he drew the small brush along Peridot's fingernail until it was fully covered in lemon-yellow nail polish. "There!" he said proudly. "Once it's dry, I have some star-shaped stickers, so if I put one on the nail and paint over it in pink, when I peel it off, you'll have starry nails!"

"Wow!" Peridot lifted her hands and gazed at her nails in admiration. "They're so… unnecessarily decorative. In a good way," she added hastily.

"I know what you mean," Steven said with a laugh. "There's no real reason to do it, it's just fun. Now you do mine, OK?" He shuffled the tiny bottles around and then picked one up. "Oooh, Grape Sorbet. I want that one."

Peridot unscrewed the bottle and then, copying Steven's previous actions, scraped the excess polish off the brush and began carefully applying it to his fingernails.

Steven waited until she was on the third fingernail before opening his mouth. "You're a certified kindergartener, right?" he began, in a casual tone. "So does that mean you know all about how gems are made?"

Peridot looked surprised by the question, but nodded anyway. "That's correct. Why do you ask?"

"Well, I was just wondering." He adjusted his hand slightly so she could move onto the next finger. "The gems told me once how gems are made, in the kindergartens, with the injector drills and stuff, and they said gems aren't ever babies. Is that right?"

"That's correct," Peridot said again. "Gems emerge from the kindergarten fully formed. Unlike your organic lifeforms here on Earth, there is no infant stage of growth and development." She wiped the brush on the edge of the bottle. "Next hand."

Steven held out his other hand. "So… if you guys aren't ever really babies, does that mean you don't have to learn how to walk and talk and stuff?"

Peridot nodded, looking rather pleased to be given the opportunity to share the expertise she had on this subject. "We are all created with a baseline level of knowledge that allows us to emerge ready to serve the Diamond Authority immediately," she explained. "Of course, minor differences in gem quality can also affect the strength and intelligence of a gem, while gem placement gives an indication of a gem's personality, so some newly formed gems who have been deemed to have greater potential are selected for further training." She gave a smug little smile as she said this, and Steven guessed she was one of those gems who had been selected. It was probably why she'd been sent to Earth, he realised.

"So…" he began, "if, say, Amethyst hadn't stayed in the ground, and come out during the rebellion, she would've started fighting straight away?"

"Correct," Peridot said a third time. "She would have been sent into battle at once, already instinctively knowing the fighting techniques used by other Quartz soldiers in her battalion. Outside of battle, Quartz warriors do a lot of additional training to learn new skills, but they are created to a certain standard."

"I see." He nodded slowly. "So, do you think the reason I had to learn all my gem powers as well as walking and talking, is because I'm half-human and had to grow up from a baby?"

"That sounds plausible," Peridot agreed. "If you had been created in a kindergarten, your development would have been overseen by a trained and certified kindergartener like myself, who would've ensured that you emerged fully proficient in all your basic gem skills."

"And I probably wouldn't have turned myself into a cat monster," he joked.

She laughed. "Probably."

"So…" He took a deep breath. "If gems are created knowing all this stuff, how come they didn't make it so you could shapeshift and stuff?"

Peridot stilled halfway through painting the pinky finger. "It was… unnecessary," she said eventually, resuming her task. "I was created with all the knowledge I needed to carry out my job as a kindergarten technician. That's all I was ever supposed to know."

"But Pearl told me _all_ gems have shapeshifting powers," Steven persisted. "She can shapeshift, Garnet can shapeshift, so I guess that means Ruby and Sapphire can too. And they can all bubble and summon weapons-"

"Well, they were all made thousands of years ago!" Peridot said defensively. "Things were different then!"

"Different how?" He tilted his head in confusion. "Different _why?_ "

Peridot capped the bottle and pushed it back towards him. "I'm done," she muttered, sliding off the stool. "It's light out, you can go back to the beach house now."

"But I haven't finished your nails yet!" he protested. "I was gonna do stars on them, remember?"

"I don't need stars on my fingernails," she snapped irritably. "And I don't need to know how to shapeshift!"

Steven was silent for a moment. "But… do you _want_ to know how to shapeshift?" he asked in a small voice.

"Yes! No!" The fight went out of her and she slumped against the counter. "I don't know. Maybe." Then, as there seemed little point in keeping quiet about it any longer, she explained. "I don't know if I have the ability to do so." She climbed back onto the stool and stared down at the countertop. "I'm an Era-2 Peridot. I'm a new gem. Resources are dwindling on Homeworld, and they can't make gems like they used to."

Steven's eyes widened as understanding dawned over him. "That's why you argued with Yellow Diamond!"

Peridot nodded. "Era-2 Peridots are given technological enhancements because we don't have any powers-" She hesitated at that, and then corrected herself. "Or at least, they're not very strong. Once I was captured and deprived of my limb enhancers, my lack of skill became a much greater hindrance." A small, self-depreciating smile appeared on her face. "I know I still couldn't have beaten you all in a fight, but I did often wish I could summon a weapon and at least _try_. So when Yellow Diamond rejected the opportunity to help other gems like me over a matter of petty revenge…"

"You lost your cool," Steven finished. Seeing that she looked a little calmer now, he picked up a sheet of star-shaped stickers and began peeling one off. "So… I know I don't know a lot about gem stuff, but I know you have _some_ powers, and nobody on Earth minds if it's 'unnecessary', so maybe if you keep trying…?"

Peridot perked up. "Actually, now that you mention it, there is something I've discovered." She held out her hand and allowed Steven to place stickers on her fingernails, and with the other hand, she opened the drawer and placed a spoon on the countertop. "Watch this."

Steven watched obediently. To his amazement, the spoon slid several centimetres across the wood. "Ohhhh myyyy gosh, Peridot! Metal powers! That's amazing!"

"Heh." Peridot grinned proudly as the spoon floated up into the air. She held it in place for a moment and then let it fall. "I know."

"That's so cool!" Steven cried, the nail polish now completely forgotten. "How!? When!?"

"A few days ago," Peridot said vaguely. "But in retrospect, I see that there were several occasions where my powers manifested, only I didn't recognise them at the time. When I pulled the sword out of the floor," she added at Steven's blank expression.

"Oh yeah, I remember." He picked up a bottle of pink polish and opened it. "So how did you work it out, was it an emotional thing? When I first summoned my shield, it was because I was feeling happy, and I can change how fast I fall by thinking about happy and sad stuff. Was it like that?"

"Hmm. Perhaps there was some emotional element involved," she said without bothering to elaborate upon what those emotions were. "You know, I suspect now that these metal powers were what powered my limb enhancers," she mused aloud.

"That makes sense," Steven agreed. He began to carefully apply the polish, then once he was done, he picked up a pair of tweezers and peeled off the sticker. "Tada!"

"It looks like the shirt," Peridot observed, admiring her starry thumbnail.

"A Crystal Gem thumb," Steven commented. "Now you don't have to worry about breaking your bracelet."

"Mmm." She held her hand back out so the other nails could be painted and wondered whether to tell the truth about her bracelet. After all, he hadn't been angry about the DVDs. "Actually-"

"Hi guys!" Lapis's voice sounded cheerfully from the open doorway. "What are you doing?"

Peridot froze. Suddenly all she could think of was all the terrible decisions she'd made in the last day - she should've stayed at the barn and told the Crystal Gems what was going on, she should've told Connie, she should've told Steven, she should've asked Lion to open a portal directly into Lapis's room, she should've asked Lion to take her as far away from here as possible, she should've sent Steven home the previous evening so she could work, she should've burned the whole barn down. Literally any one of those ideas would've been better than singing and dancing and drinking hot chocolate and sleeping, ignoring her problems and hoping for the best.

"Hi Lapis," Steven greeted. "We're doing manicures." As he said it, however, he found that Peridot's hands were shaking too much for him to actually apply the polish, and he recapped the bottle, a small frown on his face. Something wasn't right here.

"That's the hand thing, right?" Lapis sauntered in and looked at his purple fingernails. "Huh."

"Yeah, I'm doing stars on Peridot's." He nodded over at the other gem, who'd pressed her hands flat upon the counter top to hide the tremors. "Do you want me to do yours next?"

"Absolutely not," Lapis said at once. "But thank you," she added, smiling at the boy.

"How-" Peridot stopped talking and cleared her throat as her voice came out in a strangled squeak. "How did the mission go?"

"It was fine," Lapis said neutrally. "We found the monster and poofed it." Quite honestly, she'd been surprised to find out the monster actually existed in the end; she'd half-expected the Crystal Gems to drag her around the entire North and then claim it must have moved on. "Amethyst fell down a ravine though."

"Oh no!" Steven gasped. "Is she OK?"

"Oh yeah," Lapis said dismissively. "It took us an hour to get her out of there though. They're all back at the beach house if you wanna head back and see them?"

"Mmm," Steven said noncommittally, watching Peridot tense up out of the corner of his eye. "I haven't had breakfast yet. I brought Pop Pastries," he explained, sliding off his stool and walking over to the cupboard where he'd put the packet the night before. "Do you want to try some? Peridot and me found a way you can taste food without eating."

Lapis opened her mouth to refuse and then hesitated. "How?"

Steven looked over at Peridot, waiting for her to explain, but Peridot was staring down at her fingers. "Well, if you chew it up for a bit, you can just spit it out again," he explained instead. "No pooping required!"

"But… that's still disgusting," Lapis objected. "It's still the same stuff, just coming out in a different place."

"I suppose when you put it like that…" Steven trailed off, looking a little grossed out. Still, it wasn't enough to fully put him off his Pop Pastries, so he shook his head, tore open the foil package and popped the pastry in the toaster. The pastry popped straight back up again. He checked the outlet to make sure everything was switched on, and tried again. Once again the pastry popped right back up and he frowned. "Huh. That's weird. The toaster doesn't seem to be working."

"Oh, yes, that's my fault," Peridot said quickly, sweating as she felt Lapis's eyes upon her. "I uh, I was experimenting with my metal powers and accidentally pulled out the heating elements. That would be why it's not functioning as it should be. That's all."

"That's all?" Lapis repeated dryly. It didn't really matter what Peridot had done to the toaster, she wouldn't get a chance to do anything with it, but it was fun watching her squirm.

And squirm Peridot did. "Of course that's all!"

"It doesn't matter," Steven cut in. "I can eat them as they are, they just taste better warm." He began chewing slowly and tried to think. He couldn't just go back to the beach house and leave Lapis and Peridot alone now without trying to find out what was going on between them. Was it just roommate blues, the shine wearing off of their new living arrangement, or something deeper? What he needed to do was find some way to discretely observe them both interacting with each other, but where he could also talk to them on their own too. Some place with other people, distractions, amusements… he gasped and immediately inhaled a piece of pastry. "Ack!"

Remembering her own choking experience the night before, Peridot reached over and helpfully whacked him on the back until Lapis grabbed her arm in horror and pulled her out of reach. "What are you doing!? Steven! Are you all right?"

"It's OK!" Steven managed to wheeze out between coughs. "It just… went down the wrong way. My lungs don't like food." He poured himself a glass of water and took a few sips. "Can you hand me my backpack? I need to text Garnet."

"Oh?" Lapis said cautiously, handing it over. "Aren't you going back there now?"

"Not yet." Steven shook his head and tapped at the phone screen. "That's what I wanna tell Garnet, I'll be back later, because I'm taking you two to The Happiest Place On Earth!"

"Oh…" Lapis rubbed her neck and pasted a reluctant expression onto her face. "I'd love to, but really, that mission took a lot out of me-"

"Ready when you are, Steven Quartz Universe!" Peridot interrupted, and smiled innocently at Lapis's look of annoyance. She was in no hurry to leave the safety of Steven's company.

"We're _all_ going," Steven said firmly, and folded his arms. "Or do I have to put my foot down again?"

Peridot glanced over at the spot in the doorway where Steven had sat down and refused to move a few days earlier, and frowned. "But it wasn't your foot."

"It's a figure of speech," he explained.

It was safer not to argue with him, so Lapis abandoned her protests at once. "All right, I'll come" she surrendered with a small smile. "You don't have to put anything down."

Despite his ulterior motives, Steven couldn't help grinning with excitement. "Yay! We're gonna have so much fun!" He clapped his hands with glee. "Come on, follow me!"

"So where exactly is "The Happiest Place On Earth?" Peridot asked, obediently following him outside.

"Technically Denmark," Steven admitted. "But our destination is…" He turned and pointed to the town nestled in the valley below. "Beach City Funland!"

xXx

Statistics state that other than the obvious location, Denmark is indeed the happiest place on Earth.

So! Steven being told how Gems are made was the subject of one of the shorts and I believe they're accepted as canon. And it's all been proven correct in the show itself anyway. I could be wrong about some of the additional things I've had Peridot say about gem creation, but with what Rose said about gems never changing and the fact that the newly created Leggy was put to work straight away (apparently she was made like, two days before the Jasper mission, but I'm having trouble finding a source for that), that would imply that they do indeed emerge with a base level of knowledge and mastery of their powers, and Amethyst probably would've been chucked straight into battle.


	52. Gems Just Wanna Have Fun

Chapter Fifty-Two - Gems Just Wanna Have Fun

"We're not warping?" Peridot pointed up to the warp pad on the hill, which happened to be in the opposite direction of where they were walking.

Steven shook his head. "It's really not that much further to walk from here, especially downhill." Plus the extended trip would give him a chance to watch the two gems interacting.

The interesting thing, he quickly realised, was that they actually didn't really interact at all. It wasn't obvious at first; he spoke to them both and they spoke to him, but after a few minutes, he lapsed into silence and watched as they both did the same. Lapis flew ahead every so often and would return to mention that she'd seen a new kind of tree, or that another one had lost all its leaves, while Peridot would occasionally point out an insect she recognised, but he noticed that all of these statements were directed at him and never towards each other. However, he hadn't been lying when he said the walk wasn't that much further, so he couldn't be sure that they wouldn't have started talking to each other eventually. Plus, he reminded himself, they did see each other more often than they saw him, so maybe they just had more to say to him.

"Or maybe I'm just trying to convince myself," he muttered under his breath as they approached the entrance to the amusement park.

"What was that?" Lapis landed next to him and gave him a quizzical look.

"Ah, I'm just trying to convince myself… to ride the teacups!" Steven hastily elaborated.

"Teacups?" Lapis wrinkled her nose in distaste as Steven gestured towards the spinning cups just visible through the other attractions. "I think I'll pass."

"I'll do it," Peridot said at once. Despite not having the faintest idea what the teacups actually were, she was finding that being just a little contrary was really rather satisfying. Not too much, not enough to endanger Jasper, but just enough to be annoying. After all, Lapis had told her to _act natural._

"Maybe later," Steven said, shaking his head. "First, we gotta go on _that._ " He pointed up as a cart full of screaming people whizzed past overhead.

"A speed pattern transportation circuit," Peridot observed.

Steven nodded. "Also a roller coaster."

"It doesn't look very safe," Lapis said, watching another cart of screaming people whizz past and wondering if she could get away with pushing Peridot out of one. "Are they all right?"

"It's good screams," he reassured her. They reached the steps leading to the ride, and Steven smiled at Mr Smiley. "Three please."

Mr Smiley smiled back. "Sure. We got some new rules first," he added, and gestured towards the height checker.

"Well." Lapis stepped forward, easily meeting the minimum requirement. "I think I pass. What about you?" She looked hopefully down at Steven.

"Uh…" Steven patted the top of his head, annoyed to find several centimetres between his head and the minimum height. "What about you?" he asked Peridot, stepping aside so she could be measured. He really would've preferred to ride with them, but still, it would be a chance to watch them, even if he did have to do it from down on the ground.

Peridot glanced up and saw the pointy tip of her hair easily bypass the minimum measurement. "I do seem to meet the necessary height requirements-hey!" She flailed her arms furiously at Mr Smiley, who'd reached out and smushed down her hair.

"Ha ha! Sorry guys." Mr Smiley's smile got impossibly wider. "Looks like you two kids have some growing to do before you can ride."

Infuriated, Peridot opened her mouth to argue, then snapped it shut again, realising that if she did, she'd be riding with Lapis, without Steven for protection. "I do _not_ have to grow," she growled under her breath.

"I'm not going on my own," Lapis said flatly, and stepped aside to let other people past. Then she rewound Mr Smiley's words in her head and gasped as an idea occurred to her, one that came with the added bonus of cutting out Peridot. "I've got it!" she hissed, and dragged the two smaller gems away from the ride.

"Got what?" Steven asked, bewildered.

"Grow!" Lapis exclaimed. Her body glowed for a moment and she stretched her legs several inches in demonstration. "Shapeshift!"

"Oh." Steven frowned and glanced quickly over at Peridot. They both knew she couldn't do it, but if everything he'd seen in her memories was real, then surely Lapis had to know that too. "Um…"

"I'm a little rusty," Peridot interrupted before he could say anything more. "Why don't you two just go?"

Steven looked over at the ride. "Are you sure?" he asked. A bit of him felt a little mean about leaving Peridot out, but it would be a good opportunity to talk to Lapis - at least, until the screaming started.

"Sure I'm sure." Peridot waved her hand dismissively. "Go, have fun. Take your time."

"Well… OK." Steven concentrated hard, and his gem glowed until his legs had grown another half a metre. "We'll be back soon," he promised.

This time, Steven easily passed the height check and he and Lapis sat down in a cart and waited for the one behind to fill up. "So how does this work, does it just propel us along these rails?" Lapis asked.

"Yeah." He looked around, trying to spot Peridot. "At high speed- well, I guess it might be a little slow compared to your flying," he corrected.

Lapis smiled. "It'll be fun to have someone-something else doing the driving for a change. It's a shame Peridot couldn't come with us," she added, watching him scan the ground below.

"Yeah…" It was the opening he needed, so he took a deep breath and turned to face her. "But she can't shapeshift. Didn't you know?"

"What?" Taken by surprise, Lapis tried not to flinch under the intensity of his stare. "No, I didn't know that."

"So you don't know about her being an Era-2 gem?" he persisted.

"N-no," she stammered. "What, um, what does that mean?"

Steven stared at her for a moment longer and then turned to face forward. "Well, it means she can't shapeshift," he muttered. He didn't elaborate; if Lapis was really telling the truth (and he _really_ hoped she was telling the truth), it wasn't his place to blab any more of Peridot's secrets.

"Poor Peridot," Lapis murmured, lowering her voice as two people climbed into the cart behind them. "Maybe that's why she's been acting weird lately."

"Weird?" Steven turned back to look at her again.

"Well, weirder than usual." The cart began to move and she raised her voice again. "She's been really quiet." Mostly because Lapis kept her mouth frozen shut, but she wasn't about to admit that. "And she's been scribbling away in that diary of hers a lot more too."

"She has?" Steven thought for a moment. "Do you know where she keeps it?"

"In her gem," Lapis said, immediately seizing the opportunity. "Do you… want me to see if I can get it, see what's bothering her?"

"I dunnoooaaaaaAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

Lapis happily joined in with the screaming too.

xXxXx

Peridot mooched around the various stalls and amusements without really paying attention to any of them. She itched to do something, anything, but at the same time, she didn't dare. Lapis was going to kill her. Lapis had Jasper's gem. She was running out of time, she ought to be using every extra moment she had to search for her escort and her diary, but the only reason she still had physical form now was because Steven was around. She sighed and rested her forehead against a stall.

"Peridot! We're back!"

She heard footsteps behind her and opened her eyes again, to find herself staring into the inky-black eyes of the most adorable creature she'd ever seen. "Oh! Steven!"

"What's that you've found?" Steven asked, coming to a halt beside her. "A new friend?"

"It's a slumber companion!" Peridot gasped. "Look at its large head, swollen with thoughts, its compassionate eyes!" She reached out a hand and stroked the fluffy fabric of the creature's leg. "It understands."

"I don't," Lapis said from Steven's other side. "What is it?"

"A slumber companion," Peridot repeated.

"It's a toy," Steven explained. "It's just for fun. This one's a prize though, you have to play the game to win it. That's not real," he added hastily as Lapis reached out a hand as well and cautiously poked the gem sewn into the toy's belly. "Do you wanna try and win one?" he asked, turning back to Peridot.

Peridot stared longingly at it for several seconds longer. Without her diary, she desperately needed something to confide in and somehow she just knew that this toy would be perfect. It would never judge her or question her, nor would it betray her and her secrets.

But… she glanced over at Lapis, who was flicking the gem with one long, slender blue finger, a thoughtful look upon her face. She couldn't have the toy, not now she'd actually shown an interest in it. "No. I admit it's aesthetically pleasing, but I have no use for it," she said dismissively and turned her back on the stall.

"OK." Steven turned his back on the stall as well and scanned the area. "Where to next?"

"The teacups?" Peridot suggested. Then she caught sight of another attraction and a tiny smile tugged at the corner of her mouth. "The House of Mirrors?"

"Peridot!" Steven gasped and quickly glanced over at Lapis to see if she'd heard. Thankfully the other gem still seemed preoccupied by the alien toys. "No!"

"It's a joke," Peridot quickly lied. "I'm joking. Amethyst taught me jokes." Then she frowned as a thought occurred to her. "What exactly _is_ a 'House of Mirrors?'"

"A house of what?" Lapis said sharply, finally paying attention.

"Um, mirrors," Steven said sheepishly. "Not regular mirrors, they're all warped so your reflection looks strange, but we're _not_ going there today. We'll go…" He looked around desperately until salvation caught his eye. "On the Ferris Wheel! It has great views of Beach City," he enthused.

To his relief, the other two gems seemed happy enough with this suggestion and followed him over to the ride. "Oh, it's two per car," Steven realised once they got to the front of the queue. "Do you two want to ride together?"

"Sure," Lapis began, smiling warmly.

"Oh, no, that's all right, you two can ride together," Peridot said at the same time, who'd imagined it would make Lapis happiest. "I-I mean, we hung out all last night," she hastily explained when they both stared at her. "So if you wanted to go on the ride with Lapis now, I don't mind."

"But I just went on the roller coaster-" Steven started, waving a hand over at the other ride.

"No, it's fine," Peridot insisted. "I can come on this ride anyway, there's no height restriction. I'll be right behind you."

"Are you kids ready?" Mr Smiley demanded, his smile looking a little frosty as they argued. "Because the people behind you are."

"But…" Steven trailed off and looked helplessly at Lapis, who just shrugged. She wouldn't actually mind riding with either of them at the moment, just so long as Steven and Peridot didn't end up in a car alone. "Um, yeah, I guess we're ready," he said eventually, and he and Lapis stepped forward and climbed into the waiting car.

"Wow, you really can see great views from here," Lapis commented as they rose into the air. "Look, you can see the Temple."

"We really should get the sword back," Steven mused, gazing at the fusion statue just visible in the distance. "I'd love to know what she looked like with it."

"I'm guessing 'intimidating'," Lapis quipped. They watched the view for a few seconds longer, then she spoke again. "Steven? Do you still have that, what was it, tablet thing?"

Steven nodded. "Yeah. I haven't had a chance to give it back to Dad yet."

"Well…" She looked hopefully at him. "Do you think maybe _I_ could have it instead? I heard you can keep books on them," she quickly added at his look of surprise. "Not just one, but hundreds. I'd love to try it, I'm running out of space on my bookshelves."

"Um." Steven hesitated. After all, he did have something else rather big planned for Lapis, and the tablet was supposed to be for Peridot. But then again, Peridot had refused it and since then, it had just been sitting on a shelf in his room, doing nothing.

Guessing his reluctance, Lapis quickly added, "I know it was supposed to be for Peridot, but maybe if she sees it being used, she might change her mind about it? And of course, I'd give it right back to her."

"Well I guess in that case, maybe you can kind of… borrow it?" Steven said slowly. "I'll look for all the stuff that went with it when I get home, and bring it over tomorrow."

Lapis grinned happily and settled back in her seat. "That would be great. Thanks."

xXx

Gah, I need to knuckle down and write more! I'd accidentally titled this one as Chapter Fifty-Three, so I thought I had one more chapter than I really did... which is a little worrying as when I uploaded this at the weekend, I only had _one chapter_ left! I've managed to write a couple more since then, but I don't want to fall that far behind again!


	53. Kickass

Chapter Fifty-Three - Kickass

"Oh look! Hook-a-duck!" Steven grabbed Lapis and Peridot by the hands and pulled them over to the stall. "You win a prize every time on this one, we gotta give it a go!"

"How does it work?" Lapis asked with interest as she observed the plastic ducks bobbing on the water.

"It's pretty easy. You get a fishing rod with a ring on the end and you have to use it to catch one of the ducks," he explained. "Every duck gets you a prize, so you can't lose."

However, nobody seemed to be in charge of the stall. He looked around, then, spotting the bell on the counter, gave it a quick tap. A moment later, Mr Smiley appeared and beamed at him. "Hey there, Steven."

"Hi, Mr Smiley." Steven smiled back. It just seemed rude not to. "You're working the hook-a-duck too?"

Mr Smiley's face seemed to be more teeth than anything else as he handed the trio a pole each. "Yeah. You could say we're a little _fun_ -derstaffed right now."

Behind Steven, Lapis began to laugh. " _Fun_ -derstaffed! That's great!"

"You know what else is great?" Now his smile looked like the one Steven had seen in the movie about the killer robot from the future, and he took a nervous step backwards as Mr Smiley carried on talking. " _Sleep._ I Haven't seen a bed in almost a week."

"Aheh." Steven switched his attention to the ducks. "We'll just get on with it then."

Lapis stood slightly to one side and watched as Steven and Peridot held their rods out over the water, trying to flick the small loop on the string over the hooks on the ducks. There was a slight breeze and both the lines and the surface of the water rippled, making it a little more difficult to catch the toys, and after thirty seconds, Mr Smiley began to nod off. As soon as his eyes slid shut, Lapis leaned forward to whisper in Steven's ear. "Which one are you trying to catch?"

"That one there, with the top hat," Steven said, nodding at the duck in question. "I have a good feeling about that one."

"OK." Lapis propped her own pole against the side of the stall, then held out her hands. Immediately, the duck stopped bobbing around and the water around it rose slowly and gently until the hook caught the loop. "There you go."

"Uh…" Steven's eyes flickered towards Peridot. The other gem was making no effort to hook a duck of her own, as all of her attention was on Steven's duck, but even if she had been trying to hook one, it would've been rather difficult as all the other ducks were rapidly circling the mound of raised water. "Thanks… I appreciate it, but, um, you didn't need to do that," he added quietly. "Half the fun is trying to hook it yourself."

"Oh." Lapis looked a little crestfallen. "Do you want me to put it back?"

"No, it's fine," Steven said quickly. Besides, now the duck had been hooked, he had a feeling it would be pretty difficult to unhook it again. "Why don't you try hooking yours now?"

"Right, sure." The water fell back into the pool and Lapis held her own pole out over the small pool. She scanned the remaining ducks, and finally chose one wearing a tiara as her target. Then with a carefully concealed finger, she discreetly manipulated the movement of the water, allowing the duck to move around the water until it seemed as if it had naturally bumped into her line. "Got it."

"Neat! How about you, Peridot?" He turned expectantly towards the other gem.

"It's a little more difficult than I anticipated," Peridot admitted as yet another duck spun away from her line. She had her suspicions as to why she was having so much trouble with this simple activity, but she didn't bother voicing them out loud.

"Do you want some help?" Lapis asked, a wide, innocent smile on her face.

"No thank you." Peridot returned the smile. "I'd prefer to do this without cheating."

Steven's eyes flickered over to Mr Smiley as yet another duck spun away from her line. "Maybe a little cheating wouldn't be so bad. I've heard some of these stalls are rigged."

"But this isn't one of them, is it?" Peridot pointed out. "You said so yourself, you can't lose."

"Well… that's true," Steven admitted. He took another look at the surrounding stalls as a thought occurred to him. "Maybe that's why the prizes for this one aren't as good as some of the others. I mean, look at the unicorn you can win on the Space Killer one!" He pointed at a stall a little further away with starry-eyed admiration. "It's so fluffy! And the grabbers," he added, turning to point to those too, "have money and electronics in with the toys. People spend so much money trying to win them that Mr Smiley easily makes enough to replace anything that does get won."

With one last flick of her wrist to make yet another duck bounce away from Peridot's line, Lapis turned to look at the games he was pointing at. "I don't get it. Why don't people just buy the stuff in the first place?"

"Because it's fun to play the games," Steven tried to explain. "The prizes are nice, but they're not the point."

Lapis didn't look convinced, but before Steven could explain further, Peridot squealed with delight and Mr Smiley fell over. "I got one! I got one! Look!" A duck with a deerstalker hat on swung from the end of her line and almost hit Mr Smiley in the face as he climbed back to his feet.

"Ha ha! Great job, little lady." Mr Smiley grabbed the duck before it could bounce off his chest and looked at the bottom. "And would you look at that!" He held the duck up so that the three gems could indeed look at the small plastic tag with the bright red star attached to the base.

"Oh my gosh! Peridot, do you know what that means?" Steven cried.

Peridot looked blankly at him. "No?"

"That means you're today's star prize winner!" Mr Smiley exclaimed. "You get to pick one of the big prizes!" He waved at the back of the stall, where a number of enormous stuffed animals were lined up on a shelf.

"Oh!" Peridot stared at the toys for a moment, wondering whether she should just decline the prize. Then a glorious idea popped into her head. "Which one would you like, Steven?" she asked.

"What? No." Steven shook his head. "It's your prize, you won it-"

"You have given me many gifts," Peridot said firmly. "I would like to give you a gift in return. Besides, I have no use for a slumber companion because after last night, I'm never sleeping again."

"Well, in that case…" He leaned over the wooden edge of the stall and critically studied the options before him. "The puppy," he decided. "He seems like a good boy."

"That's a great idea," Lapis quickly recovered and spoke up as Mr Smiley handed over a life-sized spaniel toy. "You can have my prize too, Steven."

Mr Smiley examined the base of the other two ducks. "Congratulations! These two are yellow-tier prize winners." He bent down, picked up a cardboard box and held it out. "Here you go!"

Lapis peered over Steven's shoulder as he stirred the contents of the box, and she felt disappointment wash over her. Unlike Peridot's prize, these were simply cheap junk. Plastic sunglasses, off-brand dolls, and flimsy toys that only seemed to be held together by their own packaging. Still, Steven exclaimed in delight and chose a plastic tiara that looked a little like the one her duck had been wearing, and a set of colouring pencils. "There," he said, and placed the tiara on the puppy's head. "Now he's from both of you."

"Great." Lapis turned away and looked around the other stalls. "What next then? We could try Space Killer and see if we can win that fluffy unicorn too."

"Or the teacups," Peridot suggested. "You've mentioned them sev-"

"Nope!" Mr Smiley butted in before Steven could respond. "Sorry, Steven," he added, ruffling the boy's hair, "your friends are welcome to try the teacups, but I'm afraid _you_ still have a lifetime ban for that ride!"

Steven pulled a face, but didn't object. Quite honestly, he was still amazed he was allowed back in Funland at all, and a lifetime ban on the ride he'd personally destroyed was a compromise he was willing to accept. "Actually, I thought we could head over the other side of town to Funland Arcade now," he said, pointing towards Chesapeake Street, which lead to the other beach. It had occurred to him that the arcade games, which often had no reward but a sense of achievement, could be just the thing to help explain why they were so much fun. And it would be easier to watch Lapis and Peridot interact when they weren't all separated on rides.

He lead them down the road and into the arcade, and then stood aside with a dramatic wave of his arms. "Tada!"

There was a moment of silence as the other two gems absorbed the sights and sounds before them. "So… what are these?" Lapis asked.

"More games," Steven said happily.

"Like the stalls we just left?" Lapis looked around, trying to understand. Across the room she could see a blaster, similar to the Space Killer game outside, but this one appeared to be pointed at a television instead of a wooden spaceship. In fact, almost all of the games in here appeared to be in televisions.

Meanwhile, Peridot was turning in a small circle as she observed a few familiar sights. "Death Fight… Candy Dash… Car Theft Angel City- Steven!" she exclaimed. "These are your computer games!"

"Yup!" He smiled proudly. "They're all electronic games," he explained to Lapis. "Instead of throwing real darts at a target, or driving a real car on a track, you use a controller to interact with a screen."

"Why don't you just play the real games?" Lapis asked, looking bewildered.

"Well, for starters, I'm too young to drive a car," Steven admitted. "And because a screen can display anything, I can pretend I'm driving anywhere. It doesn't have to be Beach City, it could be Angel City, Empire City, Meadow City, Salt City, an ice cream sundae," he recited, ticking each destination on his fingers. "Do you want to try one of them?" he asked hopefully.

"Sure, I guess." Lapis shrugged. "Which one?"

"Hmm..." Steven narrowed his eyes and looked around the room. Road Killers hadn't gone down well with Pearl, and he didn't think Lapis and Peridot would enjoy it much either. Car Theft didn't involve as much murder of the other drivers, but it was still a very violent game. So with that in mind, he led them over to Candy Dash. "Try this one, it's pretty fun. You choose an avatar, and they've all got unique skills, and then you race around the track."

"Are we racing against each other?" Peridot asked warily.

Steven shook his head. "You play against the computer."

Lapis looked around. "Where are the prizes?"

"Most of these games don't have prizes, exactly," Steven tried to explain. "You get tickets instead, which you can exchange for prizes. But this one isn't one of them."

"Oh. Well, I guess I'll give it a try." She sat down and gingerly held the steering wheel as Steven dropped his toy dog on the floor and began to feed quarters into the machine. Immediately the screen changed and she was ordered to choose a character. "Where does it say about their unique skills?" she asked, trying to work out which one would be the best.

"It doesn't." Steven handed Peridot a few quarters and then turned back to Lapis. "You're supposed to just play with them and find out for yourself."

Lapis frowned. She was willing to give the games a try, but she didn't particularly want to play the same one over and over. "Which one do you like best?" she asked instead.

Steven considered the options for a moment and then leaned over and pointed. "That one. I like how her hair reminds me of Garnet." He watched as the screen changed to the racetrack, and then turned to Peridot. "Do you want-"

The sentence died on his lips. Peridot's avatar had just jumped a gap in the track, picking up a cherry bomb on the way that took out the car behind her, before drifting around a corner, easily avoiding the banana split on the track. She looked as if she'd been playing all her life-

Of course, he belated realized. She was a spaceship pilot as well as a Kindergarten technician. She'd probably flown that handship through asteroid belts and weird gravitational space thingies hundreds of times. This was nothing.

"Oops," Lapis said, and he spun back around just in time to see her car skid on a patch of ice cream and bounce off of another racer, who then sped on ahead. She gritted her teeth and spun the wheel, leaning her entire body to the side as she did so. "Get back here!"

"Steven? Why is the machine asking me to identify myself?"

Steven turned back to Peridot again and saw that the game was asking her to input her initials. "You must have got a high score!" He leaned in closer and gasped. "You beat ASS!"

"What?" she responded, looking deeply confused.

"What?" said another voice behind them, and they both turned to see Sour Cream staring at the screen in dismay. "Oh man, it took me forever to get the high scores all ASS! That was my legacy!"

Steven looked at the screen again. "I thought your music was your legacy?"

"Well… yes, but that's my _professional_ legacy," Sour Cream tried to explain. "This was my…" He thought for a moment. "My _personal_ legacy."

"Ah! Steven! I won the race!" Lapis cried, completely unaware of what had just transpired. "Isn't that great?"

"You need a better legacy," Steven said, shaking his head. "Or a better name, at least. Put in DOT," he advised Peridot.

Lapis blinked. "What's going on?"

"She beat one of my ASS's," Sour Cream complained. He rummaged through his pocket and drew out a handful of quarters. "I'm next. I gotta get my title back."

Lapis turned to Steven and Peridot. "I'm sorry, I think I misheard that. What happened?"

"I don't know, but I don't think I want to play this game any more," Peridot said firmly, and climbed out of the driver seat. Sour Cream immediately slid into the space she'd vacated and leaned forward, an expression of intense concentration on his face.

"In that case, how about…" Steven's eyes widened. "Ah! Teens Of Rage is finally fixed!" He picked up the toy spaniel again and dragged them both over to the game in delight. "OK, this one's a two-player one, so you can both play together."

As he began putting money into the machine, Peridot narrowed her eyes in recognition. "Wait, isn't this Avenues Of Anger?"

Steven nodded. "Yeah, they renamed it for the home market. OK, now choose your characters."

He took a step back and watched as they began to play. It was immediately obvious that they weren't going to get as far as he and Peridot had the day before. Lapis's play style reminded him of Amethyst, the way she would grab the weapons and power ups regardless of whether her avatar actually needed them or not. And instead of splitting up so that each character covered one half of the screen, she would crowd Peridot's character, often accidentally injuring them in the process. But curiously, Peridot didn't object to any of this, and when her avatar finally died, she stepped back without any comment. Lapis continued to play for a few more minutes, but without the backup of another avatar, she was quickly overwhelmed and the GAME OVER screen flashed up. This time, nobody was directed to input a name for the high score chart.

"You win this round, ASS," he murmured.

"That was fun," Lapis said cheerfully. "Which one can we play next?"

"Uhh…" His stomach growled and he gave it a pat. "Actually, I'm gonna head over to the café and grab something to eat. Here's some quarters, why don't you two have a look around and see if there's any games you like the look of?"

xXx

You ever seen a killer robot from the future trying to smile? You ever see the parody comic with Peridot and Steven instead of the Terminator and John? Because that is a thing of beauty.

Anyway, I have never won a prize on hook-a-ducks that wasn't junk. They all seem to have big prizes hung around them, but I never see anyone win them. I'm beginning to feel they're just there for decoration. Of course, that's not going to stop me playing, because hey! It's a prize every time!

When I first wrote this, I imagined that Funland Arcade was attached to the amusement park, but a map of Beach City says it's on the opposite side of town, on the other beach. So now I'm not entirely convinced Mr Smiley doesn't have a secret twin so he can work in both locations at once. Also, while researching the arcade, I discovered that Teens of Rage parodies the same game as Avenues of Anger, so oops!


	54. Just Dance

Chapter Fifty-Four – Just Dance

"Alone at last," Lapis murmured. Then she laughed out loud at the expression of pure terror on Peridot's face. "Relax." She patted the smaller gem on the shoulder. "This place is full of humans." Then her grip tightened and Peridot winced. It was the same shoulder she'd wrenched when she'd fallen off the arena. "Of course, that doesn't mean I won't poof you if I have to."

Peridot pulled herself out of Lapis's hold. "That won't be necessary," she muttered, trying to keep her voice steady.

"Good." Lapis smiled and turned away. "I'm going to ask Steven if there's any flying games here."

Peridot watched her go, and then began walking slowing around the arcade. Most of the games she could see appeared to be simple logic puzzles and wouldn't present much of a challenge… which also meant they probably wouldn't distract her very much, and right now, a distraction was what she was looking for.

She stopped in front of a game called Space Battle and a wave of homesickness washed over her as she watched a teenage girl direct a small spaceship through a star system. It reminded her acutely of the simulations she'd trained on back on Homeworld, and when the girl crashed and walked away, she stepped forward, slipped a few coins into the machine and began playing.

"Hey, you're really good at this," a familiar voice said behind her a few minutes later, and she turned to see Jenny Pizza watching the screen, a look of admiration on her face. Then her tiny spaceship crashed into an asteroid and Jenny cringed. "Whoops. My bad, I didn't mean to distract you."

"That's OK, I should probably be looking for Steven now," Peridot said, stepping aside, but before she could walk away, Jenny gasped and grabbed her arm.

"Oh my gosh!" she exclaimed, and pointed at the screen, which Peridot realised was once again asking her to input her name. "You beat ASS!"

"No way!" Sour Cream's voice sounded from the direction of Candy Dash and a moment later, he ran over to see for himself. "You got to third place!" he wailed, pulling at his hair. "It's gonna take me days to knock that score off the board!"

"Uh… I'm sorry?" Peridot said, bewildered.

"Don't be," Jenny said firmly. "He's had all the screens here filled with ASS for weeks now. It's so juvenile. Here's another quarter," she added, handing it to Peridot with a smile. "See if you can kick another of his ASS's off."

"I'd really rather not, thank you," Peridot said, and hastily pushed the money back into Jenny's hand. "I need to find Steven."

"Oh he's still over in the café, drinking a soda," Jenny said dismissively. "Do you wanna try Chrono Panic? Or Race Rush? Oooh, wait, I know!" She grabbed Peridot by the hand and pulled her across the room with Sour Cream in hot pursuit. "Dance Rebellion!" she cried, stopping in front of the game in question. "You _gotta_ try this one!"

"Don't take Dance Rebellion away from me, I beg of you," Sour Cream pleaded, dropping to his knees. "It's a game you can rave to! It's my crowning glory! _Please!_ "

"I double-dog-dare you to beat his ASS at Dance Rebellion," Jenny said at once.

"What's going on here?" Steven's voice sounded behind them and both Peridot and Sour Cream sagged with relief.

"Peridot's gonna play Dance Rebellion," Jenny explained cheerfully, turning to face him and Lapis, who was stood just behind him.

"Dance Rebellion?" Lapis repeated. She peered around the small group to look at the teenager who was already playing the game, clearly trying to ignore the discussion taking place two feet away. Then she imagined Peridot trying to play the game and tripping and bashing her nose on the screen, and her lips began to twitch with amusement. "I'd like to see that."

" _Don't_ let her play Dance Rebellion," Sour Cream butted in, climbing back to his feet. "I've already gotta get back my high scores on Candy Dash and Space Battle, let me keep this one!"

Jenny shook her head. "I already double-dog-dared her."

"Steven?" Peridot looked at him for help, but he was already shaking his head apologetically.

"Sorry, Peridot," he said. "But it's a double-dog-dare, that means you _have_ to do it."

With that, the small group fell silent and watched as the person playing missed the last few moves. They stepped off of the game, scowled at the group and stomped away, obviously blaming them for their poor performance.

"OK, this one's on me," Jenny said, and pushed a couple of quarters back into Peridot's hand. Then she stepped back to watch, a wide grin on her face which was mirrored on Lapis's face, albeit for entirely different reasons. Peridot sighed in resignation and stepped up onto the platform.

It was, she knew, a simple logic puzzle. There would be audio cues that would direct her to make her moves. Her coordination was only poor when she didn't know what to do with her feet, so as long as she stayed calm and followed the pattern, she should be fine.

She took a deep breath, tuned out the muttering voices of the people watching and chose a song whose beat and vocals she was deeply familiar with: Phone Me Perhaps.

xXxXx

"Wow." Steven's jaw dropped in amazement.

Jenny grinned smugly. "I know, right?"

"I mean… wow." Steven rubbed his eyes.

Beside him, Lapis was frowning. "How is she doing that? Usually she can't even run on two feet and now this?" She gestured at the screen. Peridot hadn't missed a single step.

"Yeah, but this has got a beat," Jenny said breezily. "Kiki used to say she couldn't dance either, but then we did this line dancing thing and once she learned all the steps, she was fine. Look at Sour Cream," she added gleefully. "He looks like he's gonna cry."

"I've never seen anything this perfect before in my life." Buck Dewey suddenly appeared by Steven's side. "And I own mirrors."

Steven gasped. "She's reached the bonus stage!"

Sour Cream sunk to his knees and began to weep.

"What's going on?" Ronaldo pushed his way through to the front of the growing crowd and gaped at the score on the screen. "Is that a stacked triple-sixteen Chaos Combo!?"

"You better believe it!" Jenny cheered. "The reign of ASS is over!"

Steven began to laugh in delight. "Go, Peridot! You're doing great!"

Lapis's frown deepened as other people began cheering in support, but with so many of them around, there was nothing she could do. Then as Peridot reached the last verse of the bonus stage, Steven raised his fists into the air to cheer her on, pulling his shirt up and exposing his glowing gem.

At the same time, Peridot spun around with a flourish and a wide grin, basking in the adoration of the audience and completely unaware that her own gem was also beginning to glow.

For a moment, Lapis could only stare, frozen and appalled. Surely they wouldn't, not here! She hadn't even thought either of them _could!_ But their gem glows increased in intensity, so with a desperate flick of her fingers, she pulled the moisture from Sour Cream's face and eyes and dumped the small ball of water on the outlet, just as Peridot hit the last note.

There was a bang and a flash and the screen went dead, and the rising cheer from the group of people turned into a loud groan of sympathetic disappointment. The glows faded and then disappeared.

"Sorry," Peridot said, stepping off of the platform. "I don't know what happened there."

"You broke the game with the sheer power of AWESOME," Ronaldo declared, tapping away at his phone. "I gotta put this on my blog, Keep Beach City Weird!"

"Eh, don't worry about it," Jenny said as the crowd began to drift away. "It must have been a power surge. At least that's still wiped your ASS," she added to Sour Cream.

"Huh? What?" Sour Cream screwed up his dry eyes in discomfort. "Ow."

"You guys, I think we'd better go," Steven said nervously as he spotted Mr Smiley heading their way, no doubt alerted by the words "you broke the game". Memories of his previous bans floated through his head and so he picked up his toy dog, handed it to Lapis, then grabbed her and Peridot by the hands and began pulling them towards the exit.

"Yeah, I think that's a great idea," Lapis said grimly.

To Steven's surprise, she surged forward and began pulling his arm almost uncomfortably hard. And she didn't stop once they were outside, instead speeding down the boardwalk so fast he almost tripped over his own feet. A glance at Peridot showed she wasn't faring much better. Then the plastic tiara fell off the spaniel's head and rolled away. "Lapis, slow down!"

"In a minute," she snapped. "We have to get away from all the people!"

"What?" He dug his heels in and finally managed to pull his arm free. "Why? Everyone else knows we didn't do anything to the game, it's just Mr Smiley we need to watch out for-"

"It's not that!" Lapis stopped abruptly and spun around to face them both. "You almost _fused!_ In front of all those _humans!_ They would've totally freaked out!"

The two smaller gems looked back at her with identical expressions of confusion. "What?" Peridot finally said.

Steven pulled his shirt up and gazed down at his gem. "We almost…?"

"You…" Lapis bit her lip, suddenly wishing she'd kept her mouth shut. "You didn't notice."

"We almost fused!" Steven's eyes suddenly lit up with joy and he grabbed Peridots hands and bounced up and down gleefully, almost launching them both into space. "Come on, let's try again!"

"Let's _not_ ," Peridot said firmly, pulling her hands free.

"Right, right." Steven nodded, too excited to notice that she didn't look remotely happy about this further development of her gem powers. "Not here. I'll bring over my tape deck later this evening and we can do it then." He hopped from foot to foot. "Oh, this is gonna be great, I can't wait to tell the gems!"

Peridot squirmed uncomfortably, feeling her non-existent stomach drop under the intensity of Lapis's stare. "I don't know if I'm entirely comfortable with this, Steven-"

"Please! Pleasepleaseplease!" Steven begged. "I've never fused with a gem before, I didn't even know if I could!"

"Oh! You could fuse with me!" Lapis exclaimed, her eyes lighting up at the thought. Their fusion would be even more powerful than Malachite, they'd be an unstoppable force-

"Ha!" Peridot snorted with laughter. "Right, Garnet would _love_ that-" Immediately she snapped her mouth shut in horror. "I-I mean-"

"No, you're right." Steven shook his head apologetically at Lapis. "Sorry, Lapis. I'd really like to fuse with you some day, but I think it's something I'd need to discuss with the gems first." He opened his mouth to add that he didn't feel all that comfortable being the first person she fused with after Jasper, but then thought better of it. In fact, the whole discussion suddenly felt deeply inappropriate after her recent bad experience with fusion. "Sorry. I shouldn't have… sorry."

"Hey, it's OK." Lapis fought down her temper, smiled warmly down at him and gave him a friendly nudge. "You didn't mean any harm. And if you change your mind, you know where to find me."

"Right." Steven grinned and nudged her back. "Come on, let's get back to the barn. I gotta go talk to the gems."

Once again, they made the journey in relative silence. But this time, Lapis didn't even so much as glance at the trees, and Peridot was too preoccupied with her increasingly morbid thoughts to pay any attention to the insects.

And Steven, alas, was too busy imagining what his and Peridot's fusion would've looked like to notice.

xXx

Is Peridot any good at dancing? Probably not. But Peridot is very good at following instructions, and that's really what Dance Revolution is all about.


	55. Crash And Burn

Chapter Fifty-Five – Crash And Burn

"Alone at last." Lapis said again, and stepped into the barn. Peridot had run inside almost the very second Steven had vanished into the warp stream, and Lapis wasn't entirely sure where she was now. Still, she couldn't be far away. There were only so many places to hide.

She looked around the space before her, mentally noting possible locations – kitchen cupboards, the oven, cardboard boxes… then her gaze fell upon the closed bathroom door and she almost laughed. Surely she couldn't really be hiding in there, a room almost entirely dedicated to water! But still, she knew from reading Peridot's diaries that it was where the other gem had felt safest back when she'd been a prisoner of the Crystal Gems. Of course it made sense that she'd run back there in an attempt to claw back that feeling of safety. She was rather looking forward to destroying it.

"Come out, come out, wherever you are," she chanted softly, jiggling the door handle. She was mildly surprised to find it was unlocked, but she dismissed it and stepped into the room.

At first glance, it all appeared exactly the same as it had done when she'd originally helped to construct it, except that the shower curtain had been drawn around the tub. She rolled her eyes and stepped towards it. _How obvious._

She reached out and yanked the curtain aside.

At the same time, the door slammed shut behind her, and she spun around just as the lock clicked into place. A quick look behind her showed that the tub was empty. "I don't believe it," she said aloud in a deadpan tone. "You locked me in the bathroom? Seriously? You know it's only going to take me about five seconds to break out of here." Well, fifteen, she mentally recalculated, because she was going to use that extra time to turn the taps on and create four water clones to tear Peridot apart, limb from limb, like the guy in Sharkasaurus Park.

Except when she tried to do so, the water trickled out in a thin stream for a split second and then stopped. Peridot had very sensibly turned off the water. The tiny bit left in the toilet would barely be enough to make a single foot.

"You gotta be kidding me," Lapis muttered. Well. Fine. There was still the lake to play with. She grabbed the doorknob and tried to twist it, but it didn't budge. Apparently Peridot had managed to get enough control over her metal powers to jam it completely. So with increasing annoyance, Lapis took a step backwards and in one swift movement, kicked the door so hard it flew off its hinges and crashed into the wall opposite.

xXxXx

Halfway down the hill, Peridot heard the crash and cringed. Every instinct in her body was screaming for her to run for a hiding place as fast as she could and never look back, but for her plan to work, she needed Lapis to follow her away from the barn, so she made sure to stay out in the open where she could be seen.

Moments later, she heard a high pitched whistling noise and flung herself to one side just as an icicle sailed through the air, right where her head had been a second earlier. She straightened up and watched it, waiting for it to crash into the ground, but instead it stopped in mid-air and _reversed._ And with a squeak of alarm, Peridot dropped to all fours and began to run as fast as she could. Of course Lapis's missiles wouldn't behave like real projectiles, she belatedly realised. How stupid of her to expect physics to be on her side!

A rope of water snaked around her ankles, and she fell to the ground with a thud. Then to her dismay, she felt herself being dragged back towards the barn. "Noooooo no no no no no!" she wailed, trying to jam her fingers into the ground, but she was relentlessly pulled free. She rolled over, trying to find something sturdier to grab hold of, and somehow managed to reach up and catch hold of a low-hanging tree branch. She felt her feet being pulled, but she held on grimly and a moment later, the rope suddenly slackened and let go.

Then to her surprise, the branch crumbled into powder in her hands. "What…?" She sat up slowly and then her mouth dropped open in revulsion. All around her, the foliage was crumbling away as the moisture was sucked out of it to create a water clone of her, complete with limb enhancers. Before she could attempt to scuttle away, the clone reached down and grabbed her around the neck and began to carry her squirming body back up the hill towards Lapis and the barn.

xXxXx

The remaining water in the lake formed ominous shapes as Lapis moodily paced back and forth in front of the two clones, waiting for the return of the third. "There you are!" she cried with faux cheer when it finally stopped in front of her. "Why'd you run away?"

Peridot, of course, didn't reply. The hand around her throat made it impossible to do so.

"Did you think I was going to poof you now?" Lapis looked wounded by the unsaid accusation. "Why, and I was _so_ looking forward to watching you and Steven fuse later! That said…" She looked thoughtful. "You did pretty good on that dancing game, but you won't have an electronic pad to give you instructions next time. Maybe you should practise."

The hand around Peridot's neck suddenly dissolved and rolled down her arms and legs, surrounding her body and reforming into replicas of her old limb enhancers. "Wha-whoa!" Her arms and legs, encased in watery limbs, were forced into a pose, and then she found herself tap dancing, flanked by the two other water clones.

"Hmm. Not really your style," Lapis mused. "How about ballet?"

Peridot's feet were forced en pointe and her arms yanked aloft. Then her body began spinning, far faster than any human ballerina could achieve.

"No, no, that's not right either."

Her body abruptly stopped spinning and her head, the only part of her not covered in water, was wrenched to a halt, bringing tears of pain to her eyes. "Ow."

It was scary and humiliating and she knew it was only going to get worse, but she made no protest. Because while Lapis was busy torturing her, she wasn't paying attention to the barn.

Lapis paced back and forth, looking thoughtful, then came to a decision. "Let's see how you get on with the Macarena."

Once again, her arms and legs began moving out of her control, crisscrossing her body and forcing her to jump around in a circle. Was this a real dance? Surely Lapis was just making it up now.

Lapis began to laugh. The Macarena had looked ridiculous enough when she'd seen in on television, but it was ten times funnier making Peridot do it and smack herself on the back of the head as she did so. Perhaps she'd make her do MCYA next, before finishing off with the Robot. Then, for a grand finale, she'd make her rip her own gem out-

There was a series of loud bangs and crashes, and Lapis spun around to see a large cloud of smoke billowing out of the barn door. "What the- stay here!" she ordered, and sprinted into the structure. A few seconds later, a wall of water rose out of the lake and flowed into the barn. There was a loud sizzling noise, a lot more smoke, and a moment later Lapis strode towards her, covered in soot and looking very furious. "You've completely ruined my room," she snapped.

Perhaps it was because it was such a silly thing to complain about, but this struck Peridot as deeply amusing, and she began to giggle. Infuriated, Lapis slapped her across the face, causing an abrupt halt to her laughter. "It's not funny! My television fell through the floor, my leaves are all burned and you've _ruined_ my books-" Realisation dawned on her face. "Oh. _Oh_."

xXxXx

"Hi, Steven." Garnet smiled and ruffled his hair. "I like your new friend."

"Peridot won it for me on the hook-a-duck," Steven explained, shrugging off his backpack and heading up the stairs to put his new toy in his room.

"Congratulations. The odds of getting the star prize on that game are quite small." Garnet poured him a glass of orange juice as she waited for him to rejoin her. "So… how is Peridot."

Steven frowned. "I don't know…" he said slowly. "She's definitely worried about something and she won't tell me what, but I think it has something to do with someone wanting to take me back to Homeworld-"

"What?" Garnet stood up straighter. "Explain."

"I got her to go to sleep," Steven began. "And her gem started projecting her thoughts, and I thought she was dreaming, but it was her memories. And I didn't want to look because that's private, but then I heard someone say something about taking me to Homeworld." He sighed and looked at the floor. "I tried, but I couldn't get her to tell me about it. She said they were all out of context and I shouldn't jump to conclusions."

"When you asked her about Homeworld?" Garnet tried to clarify.

"No." Steven shook his head. "When I asked her why Lapis had attacked her with a water clone."

"Lapis attacked her with a water clone?" Garnet repeated, looking stunned.

"Peridot said they were training."

Garnet tried to think objectively for a moment as Steven took a sip of his juice. It was entirely possible they _had_ been training. After all, Pearl trained with lethal holograms – well, less lethal now they'd managed to poof her. "What other memories did you see?"

Steven licked his lips nervously. "Um… she remembered me locking her in the truck, and how we all chased her when she stole the communicator, so I think whatever it is, she's scared we'll be angry."

Garnet sighed and massaged her temples. That was exactly what she'd been afraid of, and she only had herself to blame. _Rose would've handled things better,_ she berated herself. She would've treated Peridot with kindness, not violence, she would've earned her trust and kept it, she would've made much more of an effort to help her feel like a member of the team-

She shook her head to dismiss those thoughts. Rose wasn't around any more, _she_ was in charge now. She'd made mistakes, yes, but there was no point dwelling upon the past. Her power lay in the future. "How did Lapis and Peridot get on at Funland?" she asked, changing the subject. "I hope it went better than our previous visits," she joked, trying to lighten the mood.

Steven blew out a puff of air. "Well." He thought hard, wondering where to start. Garnet, he knew, would be very interested to know about the almost-fusion, but now the initial rush had worn off, he kept finding himself remembering things. The way Peridot had started trembling when Lapis had arrived at the barn, how she'd avoided being alone with her on the rides. How when they'd played Teens of Rage, Peridot hadn't made any comment about Lapis's uncooperative playstyle. And there had been a couple of times when Lapis had made some slightly patronising comments, and Peridot hadn't reacted. Perhaps that's why he hadn't picked up on it before, because Peridot wasn't usually one to let that sort of thing slide.

He didn't want to say it aloud, but he suspected it was exactly why he'd been sent to have a sleepover in the first place. "I think, um." He stopped and licked his lips again. "I think Peridot's scared of Lapis."

xXx

Uncle Andy's gonna be _really_ pissed off when he turns up and finds out the barn's been set on fire.

Fun fact - I wrote like, 1000 words for this chapter and then I had to delete it because it was just wrong. All the action and conversation flowed nicely... just not in the direction I wanted it to go. I haaaaate when that happens!


	56. 30 Minutes

Chapter Fifty-Six – 30 Minutes

"You think…" Garnet began. She stopped and inhaled slowly. "You think Peridot's scared of Lapis."

Steven nodded slowly, almost guiltily. "I don't know why though. I thought maybe it might be because of the whole 'taking me to Homeworld' thing – I don't think Peridot would do that," he added hastily, "but maybe Jasper would, and Peridot might feel like she has to help her, and maybe Lapis found out and got angry with her…"

Garnet frowned as Steven continued talking. That was a lot of mights and maybes, far too many for her to come to any sort of informed conclusion. "Stop," she commanded.

Steven stopped.

"Forget the memories," Garnet said firmly. "Peridot was right, they're out of context. There's too much missing, they don't help."

"But-" Steven began.

Garnet shook her head and crouched down slightly so she was level with him. "Don't try and guess," she said gently. "Tell me what you _know_."

Steven exhaled and nodded. What did he know? _Start again,_ he thought to himself. _Peridot's worried about something. What do I_ know _she's worried about?_ "I know… I know there's a couple of things she's worried about, and she's scared to tell us about them." He stopped and reran his words through his head. "She's scared to tell you and the gems."

"But… she's told you?" Garnet prompted.

"Some things," Steven admitted. He fidgeted in his seat, reluctant to continue. "Do I… do I _have_ to tell you?"

Garnet thought for a moment, and then nodded. "I'm sorry, but you know I'm concerned about her, and I wouldn't ask you to break her confidence unless I thought it was absolutely necessary." Sensing that he was still hesitant, she added, "I can't honestly promise I won't be angry about anything, but only because I have no idea what's going on. But I _can_ promise you that I won't be violent." She reached up and dismissed her shades so that he could see she was serious. "I know my violence has caused more problems than it's solved, and I'm sorry for that." She swallowed hard as a wave of self-loathing rose up within her. "Please, Steven. I want to make it up to her. I want to help her, and I need to know what's worrying her."

Steven looked at her for several seconds, and then nodded again, slightly reassured. "OK. Um, well, to start with, she's worried about Jasper."

"Jasper?" But as she said it, Garnet realised it made sense. They'd both worked for Yellow Diamond back on Homeworld and travelled to Earth together; it was hardly surprising that they'd developed some sort of relationship.

"Yeah. You know she didn't know about Malachite until that whole thing with the watermelon Stevens," Steven explained. "She thought we might've bubbled her or-" He trailed off awkwardly. "Um, anyway, apparently she and Jasper were… well, not friends, exactly, but they got on OK, so she's worried about what's going to happen to her, but she didn't feel comfortable asking."

"Eeesh." Garnet grimaced. She didn't know what to say to that, mostly because she still didn't know herself what to do about Jasper. If she was entirely honest, she'd been quietly hoping Jasper would just stay away and leave them alone so they didn't have to deal with her. "That's a tricky one. I guess I need to talk to her about that, and try and reassure her that the worst we'd do to Jasper is bubble her. What else?" she asked, quickly moving on.

"Hmm." He thought for a moment. "Oh! You know she's worried about her gem powers and how it might affect the team and missions and stuff, right?"

Garnet immediately recalled the argument over the weapons from the battlefield and the mission that had gone so badly wrong. "Right," she said, wondering what it was she didn't know. "She's still worried about not being able to summon a weapon?"

"Sort of. She's uh, she's worried she _can't_ do it," he tried to explain. "I mean, I know you know she can't," he quickly hurried on as Garnet opened her mouth to say just that, "I mean, she's worried she doesn't have the ability. She said Homeworld doesn't have the resources to make gems like they used to, which is why she doesn't have powers like you guys."

"Ohhhh." Garnet's eyes widened in understanding. She hadn't fully understood why Peridot was having so much trouble with what was supposed to be a very basic gem skill, but she'd put it down to her simply being new and reliant on her limb enhancers. No wonder she'd been so upset at losing them! "That explains a lot."

"Yeah," Steven agreed. "But I think- I _know_ she'll learn, like I did. She already is!" he added enthusiastically. "Today she showed me she has metal powers! And…" He paused for dramatic tension. "We almost fused!"

As he'd expected, Garnet's eyes lit up in delight and she let out a high-pitched squeal. "Steven, that's amazing! What happened? Tell me everything!"

Steven quickly explained. "-and I guess we both got so caught up in the excitement of the crowd that it just started happening," he finished. "We didn't even notice!"

Garnet nodded along to his words, a wide grin on her face. "What made you stop?" she asked. She remembered how her own attempt to fuse with Peridot had prematurely ended. "Did she back out?" It was understandable if she had, she couldn't expect Peridot to shake off all of Homeworld's prejudices overnight.

"No, there was a power surge and the game shut down," Steven said. "It kinda ruined the mood. I said I might take my tape deck over later so we could try again, but actually, it'd probably be a better idea if we did it somewhere else, away from Lapis." He rubbed the beck of his neck, a little self-consciously. "Thinking about it, it would be kinda…"

"Inappropriate," Garnet finished for him. The thought of Lapis and fusion tempered her enthusiasm a little, and she frowned. "Yes, that probably wouldn't be a good idea." And speaking of inappropriate bad ideas… "Steven? Please don't attempt fusion with Lapis." She opened her mouth to explain why, but to her surprise, he was already nodding.

"Yeah, I already said I'd need to talk to you guys first," he said. "I don't think I have enough experience with fusion to do that."

Garnet narrowed her eyes, concerned to hear that such a conversation had apparently already taken place. "No, you're right and I'm glad you recognise that." She sighed and closed her eyes for a moment. "We've gotten sidetracked," she said ruefully. "Is there anything else you know to be worrying Peridot?"

"Well, her Camp Pining Hearts DVDs all got broken and she didn't tell me," Steven said. "When I found them, she said she didn't want to admit it because I'd just given her the winter special." He tried to remember if there was anything else, but the only thing that came to mind was the possibility that Peridot was homesick. But now that he thought about it, she'd never said that, he'd just assumed. "I guess that's everything I know."

Garnet nodded solemnly and straightened up. "And what about Peridot being scared of Lapis? Do you know that for sure?"

"Well… she _says_ she's not," Steven said slowly. "But the way she acts around her isn't right. I mean, maybe she's not scared of Lapis _specifically_ , but of doing something she thinks Lapis won't like?" he hastily added. "I mean, like I said, she was scared to tell me her DVDs were broken… but she didn't seem to be scared _of_ me." He bit his lip and looked up at Garnet with a forlorn expression. "Garnet?"

"This isn't your fault," she said immediately, having seen this question coming. "You've worked very hard to welcome them both to Earth and to try and help them repair their relationship. But if they're struggling, that's something me and Pearl and Amethyst should have noticed and dealt with."

She reached up and flicked her shades back into existence. "And on that note, I think it's about time I checked up on the newest members of our team."

xXxXx

Over at the barn, the newest members of the team were not doing well. Lapis was pacing back and forth in front of her frozen roommate, trying to decide exactly what to do next.

The diaries had been destroyed. Peridot had lit the fire directly beneath the window seat and it had burned the whole time she'd been chasing her. Everything directly above, save for Jasper's bubbled gem, had been destroyed. She knew she should've kept them in her gem, but she'd wanted them close by, where she could easily make new entries to keep it up to date. _Steven seems suspicious, I need to advance my plans_ , that sort of thing. She could easily duplicate the entries, that wasn't too much of a problem… but first, she needed a new notebook. And she suspected the store would be closed now. And there was even the possibility that they didn't have any more of those particular notebooks in stock. She could work around that if she had to, and claim that Peridot had set the fire on purpose to get rid of the evidence – after all, that was _true_ – but she would've preferred to have the diary close to hand as undeniable proof, and it infuriated her that Peridot had managed to mess with her plans at this late stage. By now, she should've been too cowed to even _think_ about fighting back!

She slowly circled the other gem, noting how her body was tensed and her eyes were screwed shut. Clearly Peridot fully expected to be poofed at any moment, and Lapis deeply wanted to go ahead and do it. But now, after this setback, none of her plans felt… _satisfying_ enough. If she poofed Peridot right now, the other gem would still die knowing that she'd managed to upset Lapis's plans. She needed to break her spirit before she destroyed her form.

Finally a small smile appeared upon her face. "Where were we again? Oh yes, the MCYA."

Peridot's eyes snapped open again as she felt her body move. "You're not going to poof me?" she asked, surprised.

"Oh, I am," Lapis said serenely. "That's definitely going to happen, and it's going to be painful. But first…" She twitched her fingers and began to sing. "It's fun to spend the night at the MCYA!"

Why didn't Lapis just hurry up and get it over with? Peridot didn't understand. She'd done all she could now, she couldn't fight back any longer. She couldn't help Jasper and she couldn't help herself. She just wanted everything to be over.

And then Lapis began to move her own arms, singing the tune to herself as she spelt out the letters, mirroring Peridot's every move.

xXx

I'M A HORRIBLE PERSON.


	57. Ashes to Ashes

Chapter Fifty-Seven – Ashes to Ashes

It probably would've seen sensible to make a plan first, Garnet thought ruefully, but hearing that Steven though Peridot was scared of Lapis had pretty much blown her restraint out the window. She knew it wasn't an accusation he'd make lightly, and that was what worried her. Everything he'd told her had allowed her to narrow down some of the future visions available to her, and the ones that remained…

She bit her lip as she materialised on the hillside opposite the barn, and tried to think. Her first priority, she decided, was to get Peridot out of the barn and away from Lapis. She would prefer to keep her promise to Steven and do so without violence, which meant she needed to be calm and composed-

A piercing scream made her jump violently. Her visions immediately narrowed down to one and she began to sprint down the hill, all thoughts of remaining calm and composed forgotten as the screams continued. Then as she ran up the next hill towards the barn, she summoned her gauntlets, sending up a silent apology to Steven as she did so. But before she could make any move to use them, Lapis grabbed Peridot by the hand. There was a blinding flash of light and a small explosion that threw up dirt and debris and knocked Garnet back several feet.

She blinked furiously, trying to see through the resulting dust cloud. She could hear the fusion still screaming in rage and torment, but it was several seconds before she was able to see the writhing mass of limbs as both gems fought for control. They had no solid form; although the two gems had been in sync with their dancing, their minds were not. Lapis had apparently failed to realise that she'd been able to trap Jasper because Jasper had _wanted_ to fuse. Peridot, very clearly, did not.

She raised her arms, preparing to fire her gauntlets at them, but before she could, the side of the barn exploded and she ducked with a yelp as half a dozen Ruby weapons flew through the air and smashed into the unstable fusion, splitting it apart.

Lapis and Peridot didn't even seem to notice. They fell through the air, still fighting furiously. "Why won't you just poof me and leave me alone!?" Peridot yelled, managing to jab a knee into Lapis's midsection.

Lapis retaliated by grabbing Peridot around the throat and tried to pull her head off with her bare hands. "I'm going to decorate that tablet with your _shards!_ " she said through gritted teeth.

"ENOUGH!" Garnet leapt into the air and grabbed Peridot out of Lapis's grasp. The blue gem took one look at her furious face and shot off like a rocket and for a split second, Garnet was sorely tempted to chase after her, but a flailing hand caught her on the side of the face, reminding her that she should probably make sure Peridot was all right first. "It's OK, you're safe now," she murmured comfortingly. She was almost insulted when Peridot struggled harder. "Peridot! You're safe!" she said in a louder tone.

"Jasper!" Peridot squirmed in Garnet's arms. "She has Jasper's gem!"

"What?!"

Garnet's grip slackened in surprise, and Peridot took the opportunity to break free. She ran towards the wrecked barn and skidded to a halt just inside the doorway. It took her a couple of seconds to climb over the heap of broken furniture and smouldering books beneath Lapis's room, but when she looked up, she could see the bubble containing Jasper's gem, floating lazily in the air. "There! Up there!"

Garnet's jaw dropped open. "Wha…?"

"Get her down!" Peridot began to bounce up and down in panic, terrified that even now, Jasper might be snatched away again. "Quick, quick, before Lapis comes back!"

"All right, I'll get her," Garnet quickly assured her. "Calm down. I just need to…" She kicked some of the debris out of the way to give herself a stable surface, and then leapt through the hole in the floor and grabbed Jasper's gem, being careful not to pop the bubble. Then she gently handed it over to the younger gem.

And once she was sure Jasper's gem was finally safe, Peridot sank to the ground and started to cry.

Feeling extremely awkward, Garnet averted her eyes and let them drift around the barn interior. "Wow. You uh, you really did a number on this place. What _happened_ here?"

Peridot sniffed and wiped her eyes. "I set the barn on fire."

A piece of charred flooring fell from the upper level as she spoke and Garnet fought down an inappropriate laugh. "Yes, I see that." She paused. "Do you want to tell me _why_ you set the barn on fire?"

"Not particularly," Peridot said with a small shrug, keeping her eyes fixed on the bubble in her hands.

Garnet sighed and massaged her temples. "Please could you tell me why you set the barn on fire?" she rephrased.

Peridot bit her lip and stared at the bubble for a little longer. She wanted to pop it and let Jasper out, if only to get rid of the blue, but she had a feeling Garnet might object to that. "I needed to…" She stopped, swallowed hard and tried again. "There was…" She trailed off helplessly and shook her head. Lapis's campaign of intimidation had done its job well and now she didn't know how to even begin talking about it.

"She's been hurting you, hasn't she?" Garnet said softly. She sat down next to the smaller gem and reached out a hand to pat her on the shoulder, then thought better of it as Peridot cringed in shame. "I'm sorry. I didn't know-" She stopped and sighed deeply. "I suspected, but…"

She should've stepped in sooner. She should've examined her future visions more closely. But she hadn't wanted to believe it, because she knew Steven would be devastated. She'd clung to alternative explanations of events and ignored warning signs as long ago as Malachite, because she didn't want her little boy to get hurt. Now Peridot was hurting instead and Steven was going to get hurt too anyway.

She groaned and held her head in her hands. "I'm sorry," she repeated. "I should've seen this coming. Even without future vision, I should've realised it was a bad idea to leave you two alone here. And I'm sorry you didn't feel you could talk to me about it."

"I gave her my diary," Peridot said in a low tone. She hunched over and hugged the bubble a little tighter. "She made a copy of it and filled it with… horrible things."

"Like that you're planning to take Steven to Homeworld and make a present of him for Yellow Diamond?" Garnet guessed.

Peridot nodded. "Among other things."

That cleared up that little mystery at least. "And do you know where these diaries are now?" Garnet asked, glancing around. Her eyes fell upon a pile of burned books and she suddenly understood why Peridot had set the fire. "Ah."

A tiny smile tugged at the corners of Peridot's mouth. "From Lapis's reaction, I deduce that we're currently sitting upon what's left of them."

They sat in silence for a minute longer, and then Garnet climbed back to her feet. "Come on. We have to go back to the Temple."

Peridot looked up at her. "Are you going to tell the others what happened here?" she asked in a small voice.

"I have to tell them _something_ ," Garnet said reluctantly. "They need to know how dangerous she is. She can't be left alone with Steven now, you know that."

"I know," Peridot admitted.

"But," Garnet conceded as she looked down at the forlorn gem, "I won't go into detail if you don't want me to."

"Thank you," Peridot said with relief.

xXxXx

"-And that's why a shark could beat a werewolf in a fistfight!" Amethyst finished enthusiastically.

Pearl groaned loudly and resisted the urge to bash her head on the kitchen counter. "Amethyst, sharks do not have fists. We have been over this before."

"Oh, really?" Amethyst sat back and folded her arms. "Then how do you explain fish fingers?"

"Fish do not literally have fingers!" Pearl snapped. "You have _been_ in the ocean! You know-"

The chime of the warp pad interrupted her and she sank back gratefully against the counter as Garnet appeared. "Ah, Garnet! Would you mind explaining… oh." She trailed off awkwardly, finally catching sight of Peridot stood slightly behind the taller gem with Jasper's blue bubble in her hands. "Why is- actually, never mind. I don't think I want to know right now."

"Don't want to know wha-aaaaat the eff!" Amethyst gaped at the new arrivals in amazement.

"Amethyst. Could you take this for a moment please?" Garnet asked, taking the bubble from Peridot and handing it over.

"Wow. Um. That's uh, that's definitely blue. That's a thing," Amethyst stammered, gingerly holding the bubble at a distance.

"Garnet?" Steven poked his head over the edge of the upper level and opened his mouth to ask what was going on. Then he got a look at everyone's solemn faces and decided he didn't want to know right now either. "Uh, never mind."

"Hello, Steven." Garnet pasted a smile onto her face. "What are you doing?"

"Um, I'm just watching TV." He waved behind him. "It's Under The Knife."

"Wonderful. You don't mind if Peridot joins you, do you?" She gave Peridot a gentle push forward as she spoke, before he could reply.

"Uh, I guess not." He tried not to stare as Peridot dragged herself up the stairs to his room and sat down on the bed next to him, trying to make herself as small as possible as she did so. "It's only just started," he whispered, pretending he couldn't see the necklace of bruises around her neck. "You just missed the doctor using a defibrillator to make a cup of coffee."

"I'm guessing we need to talk?" Pearl said in a low voice as Amethyst let the bubble float just above the kitchen counter.

Garnet glanced out of the window and frowned. She could just see the waves crashing upon the sand in the fading light. It would be dark soon, and there was an awful lot of water just outside their door. "Yes," she said distractedly, rummaging in her hair for her phone. "But first, I need to make some arrangements." She quickly dialled a number and smushed the phone as close to her ear as possible. "Greg! Hi! Are you busy right now? What do you mean, you're at the emergency room?! Are you all right!?" There was a pause as Greg replied, then Garnet relaxed slightly. "Can you come here as soon as possible please? It's important." She hung up before he could answer and then turned to look up at Steven's room. "Steven?"

"Is Dad OK?" Steven asked anxiously.

"He's fine." She smiled up at him. "He just gave Vidalia and her boys a ride, that's all. Something to do with Sour Cream's eyes. Anyway, I need you to pack your backpack, you and Peridot are going to stay with Greg for a few days."

Normally Steven would've protested at being sent away with so little explanation, but this time he did as he was told without complaint, gathering up clothes and toys while Peridot kept her eyes fixed on the TV and pretended the tense atmosphere, weird looks and hushed whispers were nothing to do with her.

For several minutes, there was no sound other than the TV, then Garnet abruptly opened the front door and stepped around clumps of melting snow, just in time to intercept Greg as he reached the bottom of the steps. "What's going on?" he asked immediately. "You sounded kinda intense on the phone back-"

"Lapis has been hurting Peridot," Garnet interrupted.

"Oh jeez!" Greg groaned and closed his eyes for a moment, remembering the clones. "I'm guessing it's not a one-off, fit of temper thing, is it?"

"No," Garnet said grimly. "Obviously I can't trust her around Steven any more, so I need you to take him and Peridot away from here, someplace away from the coast where there's no easy access to water."

Greg took a step backwards in shock. "You think she'd hurt Steven too?!"

"No, no," Garnet hastened to reassure him. "Steven's the only thing here on Earth she cares about. But I don't want him around when she comes here." She gestured towards the ocean. "It's going to be an ugly fight and I don't want him caught up in it."

"Right. She can control the uh, the ocean." Greg swallowed hard, a phantom pain shooting through his leg. "How are you guys even going to fight her? She kicked your butts last time, and that was _before_ Steven healed her."

Garnet shrugged. "Let us worry about that." But to be completely honest, she hadn't the faintest idea.

xXx

While I was batting ideas around in my head, I suddenly thought it might not be very good for Sour Cream to have all the tears yanked out of his eyes. It won't kill him or anything, but it will make his eyes very red and sore and painful, so I figured his mother would want to get that checked out ASAP. I assume if Marty made enough money out of Greg's song to give him ten million dollars, he can probably afford to pay his son's hospital bill.

Also RIP snowmen.


	58. Tell Me Lies

Chapter Fifty-Eight – Tell Me Lies

"You should've let me kill her back in the caves," Pearl growled, pacing up and down the kitchen a few minutes later.

"I know," Garnet said for a third time. Hindsight really was a much more accurate gift than future vision, she thought to herself.

"The thing I don't get though," Amethyst said slowly, staring thoughtfully at Jasper's bubbled gem. "Is – why Peridot?"

Garnet thought back to the conversation she and Peridot had had on the way back to the warp pad. "Peridot said Lapis blames her for bringing her back to Earth. She thought she was free, then she was a prisoner all over again."

"No, yeah, I get that." Amethyst waved a hand dismissively. "But why _Peridot?_ I mean, she wasn't even _made_ when Lapis was put in the mirror. Maybe not even when Pearl stuck her in her head. And I'm gonna go out on a limb here and guess that Peridot wasn't the one who locked her up on Homeworld either. I mean…" She waved her hands again. "The Diamonds pretty much nuked this place, right? They thought they'd corrupted everyone who was left. And then after five thousand years, Lapis suddenly shows up fresh from Earth, all healed and healthy and raving about the Crystal Gems. No wonder they locked her up and questioned her! And Malachite? That's like, the main reason she can't go back to Homeworld, and that had literally _nothing_ to do with Peridot! I mean yeah, Peridot did bring her back, I'm not denying that, and yeah, it sucked, but…" She trailed off and sighed. "I guess what I'm trying to say is, why not like, us instead? Why Peridot specifically, and why is she being such a humongous pissbaby about it?"

"Language, Amethyst!" Pearl scolded.

"Piss isn't a bad word," Amethyst protested. "And anyway, Steven's not here."

"No, you're right," Garnet said. "About Lapis, I mean, not your bad language," she clarified as Amethyst gave Pearl a smug look. "It's not _just_ that Peridot made her come back to Earth. Obviously I can only really guess Lapis's motivations, but I suspect that Peridot's presence here is a reminder to her of how her return to Homeworld went so wrong, and also how much it's changed in her absence. Even if she could go back, she wouldn't be able to simply return to her old life."

Pearl looked confused. "She's been bullying Peridot because after five thousand years, Homeworld changed a bit? It's _Homeworld!_ Yes, obviously there have been some technological advancements and some new gem types, but really, how different can it be?"

"Yeah, no offence, but that's a pretty weak reason," Amethyst agreed.

"You're right," Garnet agreed again. "But again, I think that's only part of it. I imagine it's much more likely that she's angry and jealous. Before Malachite, the last time she saw Peridot was on the ship, when she was working for Yellow Diamond. She probably assumed we'd hunted her down and bubbled her while she was holding Jasper prisoner. But then she unfused and discovered that not only was Peridot _not_ a prisoner, but that she'd also become a Crystal Gem and helped Steven to save the world."

"I see." Pearl nodded. "So she's punishing Peridot because she thinks we didn't?"

"No, that's not it, not really." Amethyst shook her head. "She might be telling herself that, but really, she's punishing Peridot because while she was pulling her martyr act in the bottom of the ocean, Peridot went and made friends with Steven." She looked over at Garnet for confirmation. "That's it, isn't it? She's not jealous that _we_ accepted Peridot, she's jealous that _Steven_ did."

Garnet sighed. Put like that, it sounded so incredibly petty. But then, these sort of things often were. She reached out and gently prodded the blue bubble. "She-"

"Um, hello?"

Even though she'd been expecting it, Garnet still jumped, almost popping the bubble as Lapis's voice sounded behind her. She spun around and stared at the blue gem, who was standing just inside the open doorway, looking wide-eyed and nervous.

"You!" Pearl summoned her spear and pointed it threateningly at the intruder. "You've got some nerve coming here!"

"Wait wait wait wait wait! Please!" Lapis took a hasty step backwards, holding her hands up in surrender. "I can explain everything!"

"Great!" Amethyst exclaimed sarcastically as she drew her whip. "It's just about time for my bedtime story!"

Garnet held up a hand to keep her team mates back. "Let her talk."

Amethyst's jaw dropped in outrage. "Oh whaaaat? Are you serious right now!?" Garnet shot her a look from behind her shades and she stepped back. "Sure. Fine. Whatever."

"Um." Lapis shuffled her feet. "I messed up. I overreacted, I know that. But she was gonna hurt Steven!" She quickly glanced around the room. "Is um, is he here?"

"No," Garnet said flatly.

"If Peridot intended to hurt Steven, she would've done it by now," Pearl added dismissively. "She's had plenty of opportunities."

"With you three just a warp pad away?" Lapis shook her head. "She's smarter than that. She was building a rocket-"

"Pearl already tried that once," Amethyst interrupted. "Blew up before it even reached orbit. No offence to Pearl, but Earth doesn't have the stuff to make rockets capable of flying to Homeworld, even for a tech genius like Peridot-"

"It didn't need to go to Homeworld!" Lapis cut in. She spun around and pointed up at the night sky. "She only needed to get as far as the moon! There's a computer at the Diamond base-"

"In pieces," Pearl finished. "Peridot knows that. She was there when we destroyed it."

"But the _Rubies_ don't know that!" Lapis cried, turning back to face them and stamping a bare foot on the ground for emphasis. "Once they finish searching Neptune and realise Jasper isn't there, they're going to go there to try and contact Yellow Diamond! She just needed to be there in time to give them Steven and get a ride back to Homeworld, and then you'd never see them again!"

The Crystal Gems exchanged glances. "And how did you find all this out?" Garnet finally spoke.

"Um, I kinda stole her diary." Lapis looked down guiltily. "I didn't mean to, I promise! But she said talking about stuff helped, so when she left the diary on the counter, I read a bit to see what she meant, and then when I saw what was in it, I stole it. I mean, I couldn't believe it! I needed to make sure it wasn't just a story or something! But of course, she noticed it was missing, and guessed I had it, and that's when she tried to burn the barn down."

"And Jasper?" Garnet nodded over at the bubbled gem. "Why didn't you tell us you had her gem?"

"Yeah," Amethyst butted in. "Were you _ever_ gonna let us in on that, or were you just gonna watch us run around looking for her forever?"

"I panicked," Lapis admitted. "When I woke up and found out you'd let Peridot go, I was so scared you'd do the same with Jasper. Then the longer I kept her a secret, the harder it was to tell you." She clutched her hands together. "I didn't mean to deceive you, I swear!"

Pearl and Amethyst looked at each other, and then lowered their weapons as Garnet stepped forward. "Lapis."

"Yes?" Lapis took a hopeful step forward.

"Did you really think we'd fall for this?"

There was a moment of silence, and then Lapis's expression hardened. "Well, honestly, not really. But it was worth a try."

She made a sudden move with her arm, and the ocean crashed through the window.

At the same time, Garnet's body glowed, and suddenly there was a loud hissing sound, and the house filled with steam. Taken by surprise, Lapis didn't think to use her hydrokinesis to clear it, and before she could come to her senses, Amethyst's whip wrapped itself around her body and she was jerked forward.

"Now!" a voice yelled, and a dim light shone through the steam. Suddenly guessing what was about to happen, Lapis summoned her wings and threw herself backwards, slicing though the whipcord just as the warp pad chimed and sent the Crystal Gems away.

xXxXx

"Damn." Amethyst groaned and dismissed what was left of her whip. "Sorry guys, she got away."

"It's all right," Sapphire said soothingly. "There was only a 50-50 chance that we would succeed anyway." She let go of Jasper's bubble and let it bob over the sand.

"I shouldn't have bothered with the steam, I should've just punched her in the face," Ruby grumbled. "I know, I know, one-in-a-hundred chance of actually landing one without being impaled," she added as Sapphire opened her mouth. "Would've been worth it."

"So what do we do now?" Pearl asked urgently. "Lapis isn't going to come out here voluntarily, but we can't fight her back at the Temple, there's too much water. And now we've lost the element of surprise!"

Newly reformed, Garnet sighed. "I don't know. Maybe if we went back, we could start to fight her and try and lure her away from the town? What do you think?"

"I think we should ask Jasper what she thinks."

Pearl cocked an eyebrow at Amethyst. "You are joking, right?"

"Nu-uh!" Amethyst shook her head enthusiastically. "We asked Lapis what she thought Jasper's motives might be so we could find her, remember? And OK, that turned out to be a crock because all the time, she had Jasper trapped, but we know _Lapis_ isn't trapped, so why don't we ask Jasper what she thinks Lapis might do next and how we oughta deal with her?"

"That has to be your…" Pearl paused and began counting on her fingers. "Seventh-worst idea ever."

"Really?" Amethyst grinned. "Only seventh? What beat it?"

"Actually, it's not a completely terrible idea," Garnet interrupted before Pearl could speak. "I mean, it's not a _good_ idea, but as we don't have any of those, a bad idea will have to do."

"But…" Pearl waved helplessly at the bubble. "It's _Jasper!_ She broke up Ruby and Sapphire and headbutted Steven in the face and tried to take us all back to Homeworld!"

"Of course she did," Garnet said mildly. "As far as she's concerned, we're all war criminals."

"And why would she think any differently now?" Pearl argued. "Even when the ship crashed, she _still_ tried to fight us! And when we finally found Malachite, she fought us again!"

"That's true," Garnet admitted. "But how much power over Malachite did Jasper really have? How much of that fight was Lapis? Remember, Steven _technically_ wasn't there, and she hates us. She had no reason to hold back. Look," she added. "Jasper spent a long time fused with Lapis, trying to get free. And soon as she managed it, Lapis imprisoned her again. If we free her, she's much more likely to want to fight Lapis than us, especially if we explain what she did to Peridot."

"So we're doing this then?" Amethyst checked. "We're gonna free Jasper?"

Pear groaned and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Yes. Unless anyone else has a better bad idea, we're going to free Jasper."

xXx

WE'RE GONNA FREE JASPER!

Lapis really did plan her 'Peridot betrayed you' scenario quite well. If she'd just gone and poofed Peridot instead of trying to torture her one last time, it might even have worked.


	59. Somebody That I Used To Know

Chapter Fifty-Nine - Somebody That I Used To Know

After two hours of driving, Greg reached over and turned down the volume on the tape deck. "Steven, could you do me a favour and see if there's any place nearby we can stay for the night? I'm getting a little tired." Truthfully, he would've happily kept driving all night long, putting as much distance between them and Beach City, but he was sensible enough to know that behaving as if this was an ordinary road trip would be more reassuring for his two young charges than continuing to drive through the night. Besides, he was only human. He needed to sleep.

And anyway, Lapis could fly much faster than he could drive. If she decided to chase after them, it wouldn't matter if they were two hours away or ten. Either way, it would only take her minutes to catch up.

Greg quickly shook that thought away. The gems would take care of Lapis. He just needed to keep Steven and Peridot away while they did it. Speaking of which… "How are you doing back there, Peridot?"

"Hmm?" Peridot dragged her eyes away from the window. "I'm fine." She turned back to the window and watched the scenery pass by.

Much to her surprise, she actually did feel fine. Not _good_ , but not bad either. Actually, she didn't feel much emotion one way or another. It was almost as if being constantly terrified for so long had used up all her feelings and now she had none left. The diaries were destroyed. The gems had Jasper's gem safe, and they knew about Lapis. Let her be _their_ problem for a while. She was done.

Meanwhile, Steven was opening the internet app on his phone. Dismissing the search page for "driest state", he then began a new search for local motels and hotels. "There's one just a couple of minutes away," he said. "Or if we keep going for another half an hour, there's a town with a couple of Vacation Inns. Oooh, free wifi-" His eyes slid down to the words 'indoor pool' and he frowned. "Um, maybe not. Ah! This one's got free wifi and free breakfast! Flat-screen TVs, microwaves, minifridges…"

"Yeah?" Greg glanced over at the tiny screen. "Looks good. We'll get a suite."

Half an hour later, they did just that. It wasn't anything like the super-fancy place they'd stayed at in Empire City, but it had two beds, a bathroom, and a sitting area, which was really all they needed. So while Greg checked out the facilities and Steven changed into his pyjamas, Peridot fiddled with the television.

"Anything good on?" Greg asked, poking his head around the doorway.

Peridot shrugged. "Not really." Although admittedly, she hadn't left anything on long enough to be sure. Nothing seemed to be able to hold her interest.

"Well, if you need anything, we're right here."

"OK." She managed a weak smile. "Thank you."

"No problem." Greg smiled back and retreated.

A moment later, Steven appeared in the doorway. "Peridot? Do you um, wanna borrow my phone? It's got Sweetie Smash Saga on it," he explained, crossing the room to sit beside her. "See, you have to swap them around to make matches. It's really fun."

This time, her smile was a little stronger. "Thank you, Steven. I'd like that."

"Good." He tried to smile back, but it was difficult to look directly at her. "Um, I'll see you in the morning. I hope you feel better soon."

With that, he retreated back into the bedroom and shut the door. Then he flopped back onto his bed and stared up at the ceiling as his father frowned at his own phone. "Bother. The battery's low and I haven't got my charger. We'll have to stop somewhere tomorrow and get one of those car chargers." Then he looked down at his clothes and sighed. "Clean clothes too."

"You should've brought the van," Steven mumbled.

"I came straight from the hospital, remember?" Greg pulled a face as he clambered between the sheets. "Didn't trust that Onion kid in the van." He reached out and flipped off the lights, leaving them both in gloomy darkness. "'Night, Shtoo-ball."

"'Night, Dad."

For the next few minutes, Steven stared up at the dim ceiling in miserable contemplation, then he heard Greg move. "Steven? You OK over there buddy?"

"Yes." He bit his lip and spoke again in a small voice. "No."

"You wanna talk about it?"

Did he want to talk about it? Not really. Talking about it would mean acknowledging that it was real. Perhaps that was why Peridot hadn't said anything about it last night. Then he sighed and rolled over to face the other bed. Not talking about it clearly hadn't worked. "It just all feels… unreal. Like I suddenly woke up in someone else's life by mistake. I mean, we fight monsters, Dad! _That's_ my life! It's my magical destiny! I know what I'm doing there, but I don't know how to handle _this_!"

Greg sighed helplessly. "Honestly, I don't have a lot of experience with this either," he admitted. The closest he'd ever come to anything remotely like this was when he'd walked out on his unbearably toxic family and never looked back, but that was a can of worms he didn't want to open right now. "I guess the best thing we can do right now is just be there for Peridot."

"But Lapis is one of my best friends!" Steven felt tears gathering at the corners of his eyes and quickly reached up to wipe them away. "She's always been so _nice,_ I don't understand! What did she _do_ that was so awful, we had to run away and hide?"

"Garnet didn't go into details." Greg thought back to their short conversation at the bottom of the stairs. "I guess she didn't think it was her place to say."

"Could she be wrong then?" Steven began hopefully. "Maybe this is all just a big misunderstanding-"

"It's not," Greg interrupted.

Steven shook his head stubbornly. "But the gems have been wrong before, really wrong-"

"And that's probably why things went so far!" Greg said sharply. He saw Steven recoil slightly and sighed in remorse. "Sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you." He paused to gather his thoughts. "From what Garnet said, I get the impression it was going on for a while, but she wasn't completely sure." Once again, he recalled the clone with guilt. Maybe if he'd told somebody about it, he could've stopped this from happening. "After what happened with Yellow Diamond, I guess she was wary about jumping to conclusions. So whatever happened between Lapis and Peridot today, Garnet's definitely sure about it."

Steven shook his head again, but deep down, he knew he was looking for excuses because he didn't want to believe Lapis had done something bad enough to warrant this sort of reaction. Even though he'd told Garnet just a few hours ago that he thought Peridot was scared of her. "She's my _friend,"_ he said again.

Greg sighed. "It's hard to believe the people we love can be capable of bad things," he said slowly. "You see it all the time on TV, people who find out they've been married to criminals." _Or had a child with someone who led a war and shattered a Diamond,_ he silently added to himself. "And you wonder how they never knew. And it turns out, a lot of the time, the clues were there, they just didn't want to know. I mean, I'm sorry, but this isn't the first time Lapis has lashed out in anger, is it?"

Steven bit his lip, belatedly remembering his father's broken leg. Connie drowning. Malachite. Peridot's tape recorder. The bruises around her neck. "No… but… she had reasons."

"I'm sure she did," Greg said dryly. "I'm sure they made perfect sense to her too. But her anger is extremely destructive and it's hurting everyone around her and it needs to stop." He paused for a moment. "I don't expect you to hate her. She's your friend and she has risked a lot to help you. But Peridot's your friend too, and right now she needs your support. Whatever you do, _believe her._ Do not question what happened to her. Do not ask her whether she could've done something to stop it, and _definitely_ do not ask her to forget about it and go back to living in the barn with Lapis or anything. She's gonna be asking herself all that anyway, the last thing she needs is her friends doing it too."

Steven opened his mouth to reply, but there was really nothing left to say. His dad was right.

xXxXx

Peridot could just about hear the sound of hushed voices from the next room, but she wasn't the slightest bit interested in eavesdropping. She'd watched enough Camp Pining Hearts to know anything she heard would be out of context and misunderstood and result in an invasion of moose. Also she couldn't be bothered. Instead, she zoned out and allowed herself to be completely consumed by Sweetie Smash Saga for the next four hours, until she finally ran out of lives. After that, she began exploring the different apps on Steven's phone until she found TubeTube again, which suggested she watch a video of cute cat characters in a marching band. It was so adorable, she watched it twice. Afterwards, it recommended a Crying Breakfast Friends reaction video, presumably based on Steven's viewing habits. Peridot had very little interest in watching crying food and even less in watching people react to crying food, but it did give her the idea of looking to see if there were any similar videos about Camp Pining Hearts.

A search of TubeTube returned 144920 results.

Eventually she found a playlist where a nice Canadian lady enthusiastically chattered throughout the episodes. And as an added bonus, she didn't seem to be particularly enthralled with Paulette either. Peridot settled down to watch, and was deeply absorbed in episode seven when the video froze. She frowned down at the phone and gave it a small shake, when it suddenly began to buzz in her hands and a familiar face appeared on the screen.

 _Incoming call: Lapis_

Without thinking, Peridot flung the phone as far away as possible. It sailed across the room, hit the wall with a nasty _crack_ and fell to the floor, silent. For a few seconds, she just looked at it, appalled, then jumped to her feet and ran over to examine it more closely. "Please be all right, please…"

"Peridot?" Steven poked his head around the door and looked blearily at her. "Is everything OK? I heard a bang."

"Everything's fine!" Peridot lied immediately. Then she shook her head as a horrible thought occurred to her. "No, it's not. Lapis phoned you."

"Oh?" He yawned. "What did she want? Wait," he belated added. "No, sorry. Still half asleep. What?"

" _Lapis_ phoned you!" Peridot repeated urgently. "Don't you understand!?" A look at his sleepy face confirmed that no, he didn't. "The Crystal Gems! She must have done something to them!"

"Uh…" Steven blinked a few times, trying to wake himself up. Whatever was going on, surely Lapis wouldn't try and hurt Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl… right? "Give me my phone," he eventually decided. "I'll call Garnet and see what's going on."

Peridot winced and looked away. "I… may have possibly caused some minor damage to your phone," she admitted.

"How minor?" Steven asked sharply.

"Ummmmmmm…" She glanced down at the phone. It lay face down on the floor. She hadn't got as far as turning it over yet. "It… it may be nothing!"

Steven followed her glance and groaned loudly. "Peridot!"

"I'm sorry! I saw her name and I panicked!"

"What's going on out here?" Greg stepped out of the room and immediately took in the situation. "Ah geez. Is that broken?"

"Probably," Steven grumbled.

Seeing that neither of them were making any move, Greg stepped forward himself, picked up the phone and turned it over. Cracks spiderwebbed across the entire surface. "Uh, OK, that's not good. But it doesn't necessarily mean it's _completely_ broken!" he added brightly, giving the home button a quick tap. "It might just be the glass- nope, that's dead. That's very dead." The LCD was only showing half the screen, and in glorious kaleidoscopic technicolour. "Well, it's not the end of the world, I can pick you up a new one when I get a charger."

"But we need to contact the gems immediately!" Peridot blurted out. "Lapis called," she explained at Greg's look of incomprehension. "That's why I threw it."

"Oh!" Greg, to his credit, caught on much faster than Steven had, and dove back into the bedroom. A few seconds later he reappeared with the phone jammed against his ear as he tried to put on his sandal with one hand. "No answer. But uh, that doesn't necessarily mean anything! She's not had a phone long, she's not used to it, she might just, y'know be a little busy…" He trailed off. "OK, you know what? I think we should just go ahead and check out and keep moving. I'm sure everything's fine, but we'll all feel better if we're not just sitting around, waiting for Garnet to answer her phone."

A few minutes later, they were back in the car and heading along M70 when Greg's phone suddenly chimed, signalling an incoming message. "Could you do me a favour and grab that, Steven?" Greg asked. He hoped it wasn't another marketing message from Le Hotel.

Steven, who was now sitting in the backseat next to Peridot, reached forward and grabbed his father's phone out of the cupholder where he'd put it, and tapped at the screen. "It's Garnet! She says they're a little busy right now but she'll call later and give us an update."

Both Greg and Peridot noticeably sagged in relief. "That's great, kiddo!" Greg called over his shoulder. "Keep the phone back there with you in case she calls."

"OK." Steven looked down at the screen and frowned slightly. He hoped Garnet wouldn't call before they got a charger. Greg's phone battery was down to 8%.

xXx

After all the comments for the last chapter, I feel a little mean switching POV here. But we go back to the Crystal Gems in the next chapter, I promise! I just thought it was important that we had a look at Steven's feelings. It's easy for the others to accept that Lapis is a dangerous threat to them, she's been very stand-offish with them and hasn't made much of an effort to integrate herself into the team. But she does like Steven, and he likes her, and she did send him a message to warn him about Jasper and Peridot at great personal risk. So it's a lot harder for him to accept that Lapis has been seriously abusing Peridot, and his immediate reaction is to try and rationalise it and question it. But Greg is right, there's just too much evidence of Lapis's bad behaviour to go on denying it, and asking Peridot a bunch of questions is absolutely the worst thing to do. After all the mind games Lapis has pulled on her, she needs her friends to believe her.

Also. Greg's thought about his toxic family. I know in the show they haven't outright said that Greg ran away from a bad home situation, but it's pretty heavily implied. He changed his name, he didn't speak to his family for decades - Steven is 14, and he was clearly with Rose for several years before they decided to have a child together, and he never contacted his family to tell them he was a father. In The Return, he outright says that if Steven dies, he's going to be fresh out of family. And then in Gem Harvest, we found out he DOES have family. Maybe he didn't mention them because of the whole magic thing, maybe because as more time went on it got harder to reconcile, but Andy's a bigoted jerk and it's not hard to imagine that the rest of family could be just as bad and that's why Greg didn't ever mention them.

As for Peridot, she's just exhausted now. Her life has been totally overwhelming for the last few weeks and now Garnet and the Crystal Gems have stepped in and taken over, she's just sort of stopped and is letting everything just carry on around her.

And finally, Shtoo-ball always looks wrong to me, but the transcripts say that's how it's spelt, so I guess I'll have to get over it!


	60. Jasper

Chapter Sixty - Jasper

"We're actually going to do this. We're going to release an angry Homeworld warrior who hates our guts and wants us dead," Pearl marvelled.

"To help us defeat the angry Homeworld princess with Godlike powers who _also_ hates our guts and wants us dead," Amethyst reminded her. "Let's just hope they hate each other more than they hate us. I really don't feel like fighting Malachite again." She took a deep breath, reached out and pressed her fingers into the surface of the bubble.

"Wait!" Garnet said sharply.

Amethyst let out a small "yeep!" of fright and withdrew her hands at once. "What? What is it!?"

"Pearl." Garnet nodded at her teammate. "Please put your spear away."

Pearl stared at her for a moment in disbelief. "I'm sorry, we're going to release an angry Homeworld warrior who hates our guts and wants us dead, and you want us to do so _unarmed!?_ "

"Yes," Garnet said simply. "We haven't won any friends by being violent. Let's see what happens if we stop doing that." At Pearl's defiant look, she added, "it's what Steven would do, isn't it?"

"Ugh." Pearl growled, but dismissed her weapon. "Fine. But if she tries to attack us, I'm not promising I won't fight back."

"That's fair." Garnet nodded at Amethyst again. "Go ahead."

Once again, Amethyst reached out and dug her fingers into the bubble, but this time, nobody stopped her. There was a faint _pop_ and Jasper's glowing gem hung in the air for a moment before the enormous Quartz warrior reformed and landed on her feet in front of the trio. Then she lunged for Garnet. "Where is she!?"

"Where's who?" Garnet asked impassively as Jasper grabbed the front of her uniform. "Down, Pearl."

" _Who!?_ " Jasper repeated, looking slightly confused by the question. Behind her, Pearl sulkily dismissed her weapon again. "Lapis Lazuli! Peridot! _Rose!_ "

"Ah," Garnet said, reaching up and gently disentangling Jasper's hands. "First of all, we're going to clear up that misconception right now, because I am _not_ going down that path. Now, Jasper. What do you know about human reproduction?"

"What?" Jasper narrowed her eyes in suspicion. "What's that got to do with anything?"

"Everything. To understand Rose and Steven, you need to understand humans. So. What do you know about human reproduction?" Garnet asked again.

Jasper looked at the small group with uncertainty, but none of them made a move towards her, so she relaxed slightly. "Nothing. It's not the sort of thing I ever needed to know."

"Eesh." Garnet thought for a moment, wondering where to start. Then she snapped her fingers. "Pearl, do you still have any of those books?"

"Actually, I do," Pearl admitted, reaching into her gem. "I thought it might be wise to keep them nearby in case Lapis and Peridot wanted to know about it." She handed a couple of books over to Garnet, who then handed them over to Jasper.

Jasper, in return, gave them a blank look. "…You want me to read these? Now? Here?"

"Aw jeez." Amethyst massaged her temples. "Look, come here. I'll explain it. See, humans mostly come on two basic types," she began, taking Jasper by the arm and leading her away. "Guys and gals. And they've got different bits for making new humans…"

"Should we really be wasting time teaching Jasper about the ins and outs of human reproduction?" Pearl asked as Amethyst's voice faded away. "Stop smirking."

"Sorry." Garnet bit the inside of her mouth until the urge to cackle at Pearl's phrasing passed. "But yes, it's important. Jasper needs to understand that Steven isn't Rose, or she'll never agree to help us."

"That's disgusting!" Jasper's voice floated towards them and this time, even Pearl couldn't hold back a small chuckle.

xXxXx

Fifteen minutes, Jasper and Amethyst returned. "So. Any questions?" Amethyst asked.

"Yeah." Jasper nodded. "Why are humans so gross?"

"We've been here five thousand years and I'm still not entirely sure of the answer to that," Pearl said.

"But do you understand it?" Amethyst persisted.

"I think so?" Jasper scrunched up her forehead in concentration. "Male humans use a small, organic injector drill to implant genetic material into female humans and this combines with the female's genetic material to create a new human with their own, unique genetic material."

"…Organic injector… excuse me." Garnet sprinted across the sand dunes and a few seconds later, the sound of hysterical laughter reached them.

"I thought it was a good analogy," Amethyst pouted.

"No, it's very good, it's certainly an accurate description of the process" Pearl patted her shoulder. "It's just disgusting."

"That's what I said," Jasper grumbled. "And I still don't see what this has to do with Rose."

"Rose found humans fascinating," Garnet said, suddenly reappearing behind them. "Especially the way they grow and change. So fourteen years ago, she decided to take part in the human reproduction ritual and create a new being who would take half of their genetic material from their human father, and half from her. And that being is Steven."

"So…" Jasper was clearly struggling to understand. "If that thing isn't Rose, where is she?"

The Crystal Gems exchanged glances, and then Pearl stepped forward. "Unfortunately, Rose did not survive the process. Steven inherited his gem from her, but he is _not_ her. He's his own person. The gem is simply the genetic material she contributed towards the process, nothing more." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, steeling herself to say the words out loud. "Rose Quartz no longer exists."

"Rose Quartz doesn't exist!?" The three Crystal Gems leapt back as Jasper punched the ground in rage. "She got away with it!? I came all this way for _nothing!_ "

"Hey!" Garnet snapped. "You didn't come here for nothing, you came here to act as Peridot's escort! And so far, you've done a pretty lousy job!"

For a moment, Jasper considered attacking the fusion again, but with considerable restraint, she stepped back and crossed her arms. She was outnumbered, and these last remnants of Rose's army had already shown her that they were willing to resort to further fusion if necessary. Right now, they didn't seem interested in fighting her, and they seemed to be willing to answer her questions about her fellow Homeworld gems. If she attacked them she'd lose this opportunity. "All right. Where is she? Peridot," she quickly clarified. "What have you done to her?"

"We haven't harmed her," Garnet reassured her at once.

"Much," Amethyst muttered. "Ow."

"There were a few… minor issues at first," Pearl admitted, stepping away from Amethyst.

"But once she told us about the Cluster, we formed a truce," Garnet quickly interjected before Pearl could mention those issues in detail. "We worked together to neutralise it, and she's now a trusted and respected member of our team."

"She told you-" Jasper looked scandalised. "She helped- Yellow Diamond is going to _shatter_ her!" She began pacing back and forth, wondering how the heck she was going to explain any of this to her ruler. Was there any way she could just lie-

"Yeah, she already tried. Right after Peri called her a clod. To her face," Amethyst said cheerfully.

Jasper stopped pacing at once and stared at her. "What."

"Er, yes. I'm afraid Yellow Diamond is aware of Peridot's change in allegiance," Garnet admitted, shooting a glare at her teammate. She would've preferred to wait to break that news. Still, perhaps knowing that Yellow Diamond was aware that the mission wasn't going as planned would help to get Jasper on their side. After all, the Quartz warrior wouldn't be in much of a hurry to go back if she thought trouble was waiting for her. "She wasn't happy. And as you are the leader of the Cluster mission, I imagine she's probably not feeling very pleased with you either."

Jasper scowled and clenched her fists. She longed to punch the fusion in the face. But first… "Where. Is. She."

"She's been staying in a barn - it's the place where we made the drill," Garnet explained. "She seemed to be quite happy there. But…"

"But what?" Jasper said suspiciously, glaring at the three guilty faces standing before her.

Garnet closed her eyes and groaned. There was a 50-50 chance that Jasper really would punch her in face now, and she wasn't entirely sure she didn't deserve it. "We let Lapis Lazuli stay there too."

For several seconds, Jasper just stared at her. "I'm sorry, what?"

"They seemed to be getting along!" Pearl said defensively. "How were we to know- mmf!"

"Really, don't," Garnet said through gritted teeth.

"Know _what!?_ " Jasper shouted. "What did she do!?"

"She's been… persecuting Peridot," Garnet admitted. "She-"

The punch caught her full in the face and sent her flying across the sand, into the distance. Her teammates watched her flight in horror. "Garnet!"

"Put the damn spear _down!_ " came the distant reply.

"You're telling me," Jasper snarled, breathing heavily, "that after Lapis Lazuli held me prisoner at the bottom of the ocean for _months on end_ \- and not just any old prisoner, she forced me to remain in a _fusion_ with her - you're telling me that after that, you all thought 'yes, let's leave this very angry, very vengeful, _very, very powerful_ gem alone with the _other_ gem who brought her back to Earth!' There's no way that could possibly go wrong! Idiots! Aren't you supposed to have future vision!?" she yelled in Garnet's direction.

"I don't see the future!" Garnet yelled back. "I see _possible_ \- ugh, never mind." She stomped back across the sand towards them. "We messed up. We know that. We've been working alone for more than five thousand years, we're not used to changes in the group dynamic. We're still getting used to having Steven around instead of Rose. We didn't know how to deal with two new members as well, so we left them alone and hoped for the best. And then earlier today, Lapis almost killed Peridot and tried to convince us she'd turned on us."

"I'll break her neck!" Jasper snarled. "I'll crush her!"

Amethyst patted her on the arm. "That's exactly what we wanted to hear, slugger!"

"Gerrof!"

"What Amethyst means," Pearl said hastily, "is that we can no longer trust Lapis. She's a danger to the team and to the planet we've sworn to protect"

Jasper didn't look remotely moved by this, and Garnet quickly stepped in front of Pearl. "You know Lapis Lazuli better than any of us, and we could really use your help in taking her down."

"And it would make Peridot happy if we didn't have to bubble you too," Amethyst finished.

Jasper mulled it over for a minute. "I don't like you," she said eventually. "Rose Quartz shattered my Diamond and it would give me immense pleasure to hand over the last members of her army to Yellow Diamond and see you all harvested."

"Uh, _technically_ , I wasn't-" Amethyst began as Pearl and Garnet raised their eyebrows at this bit of information.

"I'm not done," Jasper snapped. "As I was saying, I don't like you. But I like Lapis Lazuli even less." She began to pace back and forth again. "All she needed to do was tell us about the remaining Crystal Gems and point out your base so that I could defeat you, and then we could all go back home and she could return to Blue Diamond. But she didn't mention Rose- Steven- whatever he is," she corrected. "Everything that went wrong after that was because Peridot and I had no idea what we were dealing with. But instead of recognising that her own actions contributed to the failure of the mission and would affect her return to Homeworld society, she blamed us entirely. That's why she dragged me into the ocean for months." She stared into the distance for several seconds. "She was waiting for me when I woke up," she finally said. "She could've poofed me any time before then, but she wanted me to _know_ it was her. We were underwater. I never stood a chance."

"Dude…" Amethyst's mouth dropped open. "That's _seriously_ messed up."

"I'm aware," Jasper said dryly. Then she clapped her hands together, making everyone jump. "Right! A truce then. I will help you take down Lapis Lazuli, and in return, you let me go and don't try and kill me as soon as we're done."

Garnet hesitated. "We promise not to attack you so long as you promise to do the same in return."

"Deal." Jasper held out her hand, and after a few seconds on indecision, Garnet reached out and shook it.

xXx

I know, I know, Lapis is apparently a terraformer, not a princess. But first, Amethyst doesn't know that. Second, just because she's a terraformer, doesn't mean she can't be a princess too! Anyway, I was always planning on having the CG's release Jasper, then Earthlings happened and it got a bit more complicated. Soooo I decided the CG's first priority had to be clearing up the Steven=Rose misunderstanding because that's where most of the Jasper conflict comes from.

Hence awkward conversation about how babies are made.


	61. Best Laid Plans

Chapter Sixty-One - Best Laid Plans

"The last time we saw Lapis, she was by the beach house and the Temple." Pearl projected a hologram showing the Temple statue, beach house and surrounding area. "As you can see, it's surrounded by the ocean on three sides. If we were to simply warp back in, she'd easily defeat us. We need to approach the beach house with stealth if we're going to have any chance of defeating her." She then switched the projection to a view of the barn. "Discounting the warp pad on the Temple statue's hand, the next closest location would be the barn. However, Lapis has been living there for some time now and if she _isn't_ at the Temple, chances are high that this is where she'll be. Also, the barn is visible from the Temple, and at this time of night, the light given off by an incoming warp will be seen for miles around. We'd be spotted immediately."

"There's not a lot of water around the barn though," Amethyst offered. "I mean yeah, there's the lake, but it's not so big. We could fight her there."

"She's not above removing the water from the surrounding flora though," Garnet informed them. "She dried out a tree to capture Peridot."

Amethyst shuddered. "That's nasty."

"In that case then, we may need to warp in further afield to avoid detection," Pearl interjected. "Unfortunately, that does mean it will take several hours to reach our destination."

"Where's the closest we can warp in?" Garnet asked.

"Probably the Kindergarten," Pearl said after a moment of thought. "The Sea Spire may actually be closer, but I don't think it would be wise to warp underwater."

"No. You're right." Garnet turned to their new, temporary teammate. "Jasper? What are your thoughts?"

"Me?" Jasper looked mildly surprised to be included, but she quickly snapped to attention. "Hmm. How much time passed between you leaving your base and unbubbling me?"

"We pretty much did it straight away," Amethyst answered at once. "Right, guys?"

Pearl nodded. "We discussed it for a few minutes, but yes, it was a very quick decision. After Lapis escaped our trap, we wanted to move quickly."

Jasper nodded slowly as she listened to these replies. "So it probably hasn't been much longer than one of your Earth hours. In that case, I think you're correct in assuming that Lapis will still be at the Temple. She'll be anticipating your return and she'll want to stay in a place where she can easily arm herself. That said, she may not remain there for long. The longer you stay away, the more she'll suspect a trap." She tapped a finger on her chin thoughtfully. "Still, approaching the Temple from a distance is probably the best plan for now. Even if we waited longer, there's no guarantee it'll be safe to warp back in. She's very patient."

"So it's agreed then?" Garnet looked around the group. "We'll warp in to the Kindergarten and make our way from there to the barn. If she's not there, we'll continue on to the Temple."

The other gems all voiced their agreement, and returned the short distance to the desert warp pad. Seconds later, they reappeared in the gloomy darkness of the Kindergarten. "This way," Pearl commanded, and began running at a brisk pace across the barren landscape.

They'd been on the move for almost an hour when Jasper spoke up. "I meant to ask. Where's Rose- Steven now?"

"He's fine, he's with his father," Garnet replied.

"He survived?"

"What?" Garnet blinked in surprise before understanding dawned over her. "Oh! Yes. Humans usually do survive reproduction, especially the male ones. Greg is fine. I asked him to take Steven and Peridot away from the coast-"

"Peridot's with them too?" Jasper interrupted.

Garnet slowed down slightly. "Is that a problem?"

"I… I don't know." Jasper slowed down as well. "Maybe? Lapis-"

"Hey, slowpokes! What's the holdup?" Amethyst called back to them. In front of her, Pearl slowed to a halt as well as she realised that half of the group were now lagging several hundred metres behind her.

As soon as they'd regrouped, Jasper began to speak again. "Lapis was pretty fixated on Ro- uh, Steven. When she wasn't taunting me about how I'd messed up the mission, she was thinking about him. I guess you don't forget a friendly face after five thousand years of isolation."

"I should've just bubbled that mirror," Pearl muttered.

"She knew she couldn't go back to Homeworld," Jasper continued, ignoring the other gem. "Blue Diamond already didn't trust her; she was the one who gave Yellow Diamond permission to let us interrogate her and take her back to Earth. But once the mission started to go wrong and we found out she'd kept him secret, she knew she wouldn't get a good report from me and Peridot. But she didn't want to join your group either. You're the whole reason she wound up in that mirror in the first place. She _hates_ you. She _hates_ the Earth. Even more than _I_ do!"

"Could you hurry up and get to the point?" Amethyst snapped. "We already know Steven's the only thing here Lapis gives a damn about."

"It's not _just_ that he's 'the only thing she gives a damn about'!" Jasper snapped back. "He's all she's _got_ now!" She stopped talking and briefly closed her eyes. "This Steven, what's his relationship with Peridot like?"

"They're fairly close," Pearl admitted. "I think he enjoys having a gem around who's learning from him rather than the other way around."

"Yeah, they hang out and watch trashy TV together," Amethyst added. "It's an Earth thing," she added at Jasper's blank look. "You'll love it."

"They saved the Earth together. Oh, and they almost fused today," Garnet finished.

A brief silence followed her words, and then Amethyst whistled. " _Wow._ No wonder Lapis flipped."

"So he's going to care that Lapis has been abusing her?" Jasper persisted.

"Of course!" Garnet looked surprised by the question. "He's going to find it difficult to accept, and I know he'll want to do his best to help both of them, but-"

"But if he had to choose between them, which one would he chose?" Jasper butted in. "Because if the answer isn't Lapis, then she's got literally nothing left. And if Peridot's around when that happens, Lapis will grind her gem into _dust._ "

"What about Steven?" Pearl said sharply. "What will she do to _him?_ "

Jasper shrugged impatiently. "I don't know and I don't really care. I'm really more concerned about Peridot right now."

"Hey!" Amethyst protested. "If Lapis so much as _looks_ at him funny, I'll turn her inside out! And you!"

"Me!?" Jasper looked outraged. "In case you'd forgotten, runty, I've been trapped at the bottom of the ocean and then bubbled for who-knows how long! This has nothing to do with me!"

"You brought her back here!" Amethyst retorted.

"The plan was to take her away again afterwards! You Crystal Gems are the reason we all got stuck here!"

"Stop it!" Garnet squeezed in between the two Quartzes and pushed them apart. "This is not the time to be fighting among ourselves."

"Sorry, G-Squad." Amethyst had the grace to look slightly ashamed of herself.

"Uh, yeah, sure," Jasper mumbled. "And if she's still waiting at the Temple, it won't even be an issue," she added optimistically.

"Oh great!" Amethyst complained. "Now you've jinxed it and she's not gonna be there."

"That doesn't even make sense!"

"I hate to agree with Jasper," Pearl interjected, oblivious to the other gem's look of annoyance, "but that really is nonsense. If she's not there, it's because she suspects a trap, not because of anything Jasper's said."

"They're right," Garnet interjected. "She might be at the Temple, and she might not be, but either way, I can assure you that Steven and Peridot are safe."

"OK." Amethyst shrugged. "But if she ain't there, I'm gonna say I told you so."

xXxXx

"What on Earth happened here?" Pearl said, taking in the scene of devastation a short distance before them. "The barn looks even worse than when Peridot broke it with her giant robot!"

"Giant robot?" Jasper repeated.

"It's a machine you can control," Amethyst vaguely described. "Peridot built one and used it to break out of the barn."

"Huh." Jasper nodded slowly. "Good for her."

"She set the barn on fire," Garnet said in a low tone. "Then she used her metal powers to summon all those Ruby weapons. That's why the barn's all messed up."

"Metal powers?" Jasper parroted again.

"Apparently Peridot has discovered that she has the power to control metal," Pearl quietly explained.

"Really?" Now Jasper looked impressed. "Are you sure? I didn't think she had it in her."

"Shh!" Garnet peered closely at the ruined structure, just visible in the early dawn light, then she broke cover and began to walk towards it. "Lapis isn't here."

"I told you so," Amethyst said at once.

"We haven't checked the Temple yet," Pearl said crossly.

"Then maybe we should do that before your sun comes up and gives away our position," Jasper suggested, and before anyone could stop her, she set off down the hill.

"Stealthy!" Garnet hissed after her.

Jasper responded by diving into a hedge. The only sign of her movement was the rustling leaves. "You know, I hate to admit it, but she's actually very good at this," Amethyst muttered as they followed her. "I thought she'd just punch everything."

"Don't worry, there's still time for that," Jasper said with an evil grin, suddenly popping out of a bush and making Amethyst jump. "Now come on! And be stealthy!"

xXxXx

"She's taking too long," Pearl hissed and clutched her spear tighter.

Garnet hung over the edge of the cliff and squinted down at the statue below. "Shh. The water isn't moving. She's fine."

"Then what's taking her so long?" Pearl persisted. "It shouldn't have taken her longer than ten seconds to find out whether Lapis is there or not." She crawled forward and peered over the edge as well. "There's water inside the beach house. She could always use _that_ to kill her- oh, there she is."

The purple bird flew out of the open doorway and up to the lighthouse where the other gems were waiting. Then she glowed and stretched and a moment later, Amethyst stood before them. "I told you so," she said at once.

"Great," Jasper said sarcastically. "Now tell us something useful."

"Well, the house is a mess," Amethyst began. "All the windows are broken and there's salt, like, _everywhere._ Puddles all over the floor, broken furniture, a couple of dead fish," she continued, ticking each one off on her fingers. "No sign of Lapis though."

"So what took you so long then?" Pearl complained.

"I did a thorough search, duh." Amethyst grinned. "In the bathroom, the cupboard under the stairs, in the fridge…"

"Where you decided to make yourself a quick snack?" Garnet guessed.

"Wha- Amethyst!" Pearl groaned in exasperation. "We don't have time for that!"

"Water damage, Pearl! That stuff needed eating! Anyway, as I said, no Lapis. So what's the plan, Garnet?" Amethyst said, quickly changing the subject. " _Please_ tell me we're not going on another gem hunt because honestly, we suck at those."

Jasper shook her head. "No need to go hunting. She'll be after your Steven," she said ominously.

"She won't find him," Garnet said quickly as Pearl let out a small squawk of horror.

"What if she does, though?" Amethyst asked, looking worried. "Could she have followed them?"

"No," Garnet said at once. "She showed up at the Temple at least an hour after they'd left, remember? And even if she did try to chase after them, she wouldn't know what to look for. She'd be looking for Greg's van. She hasn't seen his new car."

"She's still going to go looking for him though," Jasper butted in as Pearl and Amethyst visibly relaxed.

"She's not-" Garnet began.

"I'm not saying that to alarm you, I'm saying that because you can use it to your advantage," Jasper continued. "Regroup. Get him to a place she'll expect him to be, and then wait."

"We are not using Steven as bait!" Pearl said, scandalised.

"No, no, wait!" Amethyst held up a hand. "I got an idea! Peridot made Lapis a phone, remember? And Steven has the number!"

"Oh!" Pearl gasped. "So if he were to contact her and arrange a place to meet-"

"-We could lay in wait and ambush her!" Amethyst finished. "He wouldn't even have to be there!"

"Hmm." Garnet looked thoughtfully over at their reluctant ally. "Jasper?"

Jasper shrugged. "It won't be as effective without actual bait in the trap. And don't pick a location _completely_ devoid of water. That's blatantly obvious. She may not be a trained warrior, but she's not stupid. Far from it. But… if she's desperate enough, it just might work."

"Very well." Garnet reached up to pull her phone out of her hair. "I'll call Steven and-" She stopped suddenly an expression of dismay appeared on her face.

"Garnet? What's wrong?" Pearl asked.

"I can't find my phone." She dug her fingers into her hair again. "It's not here."

xXx

I don't exactly know how close many of the warp pads are to the Temple. I'm guessing the red dots on the Earth map are possible locations though. We know the Galaxy Warp isn't too far away because Lapis was able to fly there quite quickly, but like the Sea Spire, all that water makes it a bad location from which to approach the Temple. We know the Sea Spire is a three hour paddle home, and we know Amethyst and Steven were able to reach the Kindergarten in less than a day, some of which was on foot, so that's why I went for that location.

I don't think the Crystal Gems have ever really realised just how much Lapis relies on Steven, because Jasper is right, she has nothing left on Homeworld after the mission went wrong. In fact, Jasper probably thought she was doing Lapis a favour by asking Lapis to fuse with her, because helping take down the Crystal Gems would've been the only way she could redeem herself. But Earth and the Crystal Gems? Her prison and the reason why she was imprisoned? She hates them both! Steven really is the only reason why she's staying and that's probably true for the show itself too.


	62. Hold The Phone

Chapter Sixty-Two - Hold The Phone

Pearl took command at once. "Where did you last see it? Did you leave it charging somewhere?"

"No, no." Garnet shook her head. "It was definitely in my hair-" Then she groaned loudly. "Of course! I unfused! I must have dropped it then. The room was full of steam, so we didn't notice."

"You'd better hope Lapis didn't notice either," Jasper pointed out. "Or she might just try and pull the same trick we were planning."

There was a short silence as the Crystal Gems took in this information. Then in one, swift movement, they all sprinted to the edge of the cliff and jumped. Jasper stared after them, and then followed at a more restrained pace.

Inside the beach house, chaos reigned. If it had been bad when Amethyst checked it out, it was ten times worse now. Pearl was methodically emptying the kitchen drawers out onto the floor, Garnet was ransacking Steven's room, and Amethyst appeared to be turning the sofa inside out. Jasper watched their frantic activity for several seconds, and then clapped her hands together in an effort to get their attention. "What are you doing?"

"Looking for my phone!" Garnet snapped. "What does it look like!?"

"That's what I was going to ask," Jasper said coolly. "About this phone, whatever it is."

"It's a communication device," Pearl explained as she began emptying the cupboards as well.

"I gathered that." Jasper rolled her eyes. "What does it look like and how does it function?"

"It's a phone. It looks like a phone." Amethyst poked her head out from somewhere inside the sofa. "It's a small rectangle and you phone it."

"Right." Jasper turned her back on the other Quartz. "Anybody got a _useful_ answer?"

"Like Amethyst said." Garnet turned Steven's bed upside down. "It's a small rectangle. It's used to send and receive messages."

"From who?" Jasper pressed.

"From anyone!" Pearl snapped. She opened the fridge and began emptying it. "Are you going to help us look for it or not?"

Jasper crossed her arms. "I don't need to. I assume this communicator has some way of notifying you of incoming messages, correct?"

Garnet put the bed back the right way up. "It rings."

"So just use another communicator to contact it." Jasper smirked triumphantly.

The Crystal Gems paused. It was an excellent suggestion, with just one drawback. "We don't _have_ another communicator," Garnet explained. "That's why I stole that one in the first place."

"So steal another!" Jasper retorted.

"The pizza guy!" Amethyst said at once. "You said he brought a new one!"

Garnet shook her head. "He won't have his old phone number on it."

"Don't _you_ know the number?" Jasper asked.

"No!" Garnet ground her teeth in frustration. "I never needed to call myself before!"

"Somebody else's phone then!" Pearl said shrilly. "Surely _someone_ in Beach City has your number!?"

"The only people who ever contacted me on that phone are Steven and Greg," Garnet began, then she paused as a thought occurred to her. "Wait! No! That's not true, I got that text message from Buck Dewey!"

"Come on then!" Amethyst burst out of the sofa. "Let's go get his phone!"

A minute later, the four of them barged into the mayor's house, interrupting Mayor Bill Dewey's first cup of coffee of the day, which he promptly dropped on the floor. "What's going on!? Why are _you_ here!?" he yelped in alarm. "Is it another body part in the sky? Has the ocean gone again?"

"Relax," Pearl ordered as they ran for the stairs. "We're here for your son."

"Oh." Mayor Dewey sagged back in his chair. Then he shot to his feet and ran after them. "Wait! That's even worse!"

Upstairs, the commotion had just woken Buck. Blinking sleep out of his eyes, he rolled over to check the time on his phone, but before he could touch any of the buttons, his door suddenly burst open and the Crystal Gems spilled into his room, closely followed by a new, enormous orange gem. With a shriek of terror, he dropped the phone and yanked his blanket up to his chin. "What's going on!?"

"There it is!" Amethyst spotted the phone on the floor and pounced. "Come on, let's go!"

"Wait!" Buck lunged for the phone as well. "I need that!"

"We need it more!" Amethyst yanked the phone away. "It's a matter of life and death!"

"She's not exaggerating," Garnet added.

"We'll get Greg to reimburse you," Pearl finished, and with that, the three Crystal Gems spun around and left the room. Jasper stared at Buck for a moment longer, then shrugged and followed after them, just as Mayor Dewey ran into the room to check on his son.

"Dad, do something!" Buck wailed. "They took my phone!"

"Don't worry, son." Mayor Dewey's eyes narrowed. "I'll make them pay." And with that, he pulled his own phone out of his pocket and dialled a number. "Bring me the latest Saumsang phone. Immediately. And put it on my expenses." He ended the call and nodded firmly down at his son. "This one is on the taxpayers."

xXxXx

"All right, gems," Garnet said a minute later, back in the beach house. "Listen carefully. For the phone," she clarified as they all looked expectantly at her. She knew perfectly well that by this point, the chances of the phone being somewhere in the house were lower than being attacked by sharks, but they'd been attacked by sharks before, which meant it couldn't hurt to give it a try. She tapped a few buttons on the screen and listened carefully. "It's ringing."

Pearl and Amethyst looked hopefully around the room, but other than the faint sound of waves crashing on the sand outside, there was nothing. A few seconds later, Garnet pulled the phone away from her ear and shook her head. "It's not here."

"We have to warn them," Pearl said urgently as horrible mental images of Lapis draining Steven's body of water filled her head. She staggered slightly and grabbed hold of the kitchen counter for support. "Tell them not to answer any calls from that phone!"

Garnet already had the phone mashed up against her puffy hair, but once again, she shook her head. "There's no answer from Steven's phone. I think it's switched off." She tapped at the screen again.

"Try Greg," Amethyst suggested at once.

"There's no answer from his phone either," Garnet said after a moment. "That doesn't necessarily mean anything," she hastily added. "Remember, he hasn't got the van, and everything he owns is in there. His phone's probably just out of battery."

"So what do we do!?" Pearl's voice began to rise in panic. "We need to find them!"

"Peridot's limb enhancers," Jasper suddenly spoke up. "They've got built-in communication functions," she explained as they all turned to her. "If you still have the wreckage from the ship, or even her escape pod, we might be able to fix the computer and- what? Why are you all looking at me like that?"

"It's a very good idea," Garnet began awkwardly as Amethyst guiltily hid her face. "But, uh, Peridot doesn't wear her limb enhancers any more."

Jasper glared stonily at her for several seconds before responding. " _Why_ doesn't she wear her limb enhancers any more? I can understand that you disarmed her at first, but you said she was a trusted and respected member of your team now! She _needs_ those!"

"If she kept them, she never would've worked out she had metal powers," Amethyst protested weakly.

"If she kept them, she could've shot Lazuli in the face weeks ago, when she first turned on her," Jasper retorted.

"Her limb enhancers were… irretrievably lost when we first captured her," Garnet interjected before the argument could escalate any further.

"And after Yellow Diamond tried to blow her up, we were worried they could be used as a remote weapon against her," Pearl quickly added. "We do have a foot though… in the bathroom. So, um, probably not all that helpful. What do we do now, Garnet? How _do_ we warn them?" she asked, quickly changing the subject and turning to their leader.

"Well, the good thing is, if _we_ can't contact them, Lapis probably can't either. We'll see if we can find them." Garnet was tapping at the phone again. "I told Greg to head away from the coast, away from water. According to this, the driest state is Silver State."

"That's quite close to Copper State," Pearl observed. "We could warp to the Beta Kindergarten and try to meet them there."

Garnet shook her head as Jasper pulled a face in the background. "No. It would take two days of non-stop driving to get there, and Greg and Steven need to sleep. They won't even be as far as Bluegrass State yet. We'll take Greg's van and follow them."

"Wait." Jasper shook her head. "You said Lapis knows what that looks like. You could lead her right to them."

"Then we take a different car," Amethyst said at once. Suddenly her eyes lit up. "Let's steal a _police car!_ We can switch on the sirens and skip all the traffic!"

"Excellent idea." Garnet nodded with approval. "Come on, gems, let's go and steal a police car."

Amethyst rubbed her hands together with glee. All her hours spend playing Car Theft Five were finally about to pay off.

xXx

Sorry this one's a short one! Anyway, I know logically that if Garnet dropped the phone when unfusing, it must be on the floor somewhere, but the Crystal Gems are being thorough. Just in case. It's like when I forget where I put my cup of tea, I know it should be on my desk or in the kitchen, but occasionally I'll find it in the bathroom or in my daughter's room because I got distracted.

And poor Mayor Dewey, having the local magical girls storm your house and rob your son first thing in the morning must be a very stressful experience.


	63. Driftwood

Chapter Sixty-Three - Driftwood

In the face of Garnet's fury, Lapis's fight-or-flight instincts had kicked in, and she was halfway around the Earth before her senses caught up and she belatedly realised it would've been a much better idea to stay at the barn and poof them both. She could've gone to Pearl and Amethyst with her tale of Peridot's betrayal, denied all knowledge that Garnet had ever been there and watched them fall apart without her leadership. But now - what?

She landed on a convenient mountainside and tried to squash her rising panic and collect her thoughts. She'd messed up. All her carefully laid plans had been ruined in an instant, all because she'd wanted to hurt Peridot just a little bit more. She should've poofed her days ago! Put her gem in the tablet, and made her watch as she shattered Jasper. But now Garnet had caught her, and everything was ruined.

Or was it? She sank down onto a boulder and thought hard. Garnet was bound to go back to the other Crystal Gems and tell them what she'd seen, but maybe if she moved fast, she could try spinning it as a misunderstanding? She'd only been trying to trap Peridot to stop her from hurting Steven, the same way she'd managed to stop Jasper from hurting him? But the chances of them believing her were slim, especially now that Peridot had the chance to tell her side of the story.

Besides, did it really matter? She already knew the Crystal Gems didn't like her much more than she liked them, and she'd always vaguely planned to destroy them once she was done with Peridot anyway. She just needed to turn Steven away from them first so he wouldn't get hurt. Perhaps this was her chance. If she could get Peridot and the Crystal Gems out of the way, she could explain things to him. Peridot was planning to hurt him, the Crystal Gems didn't believe her, none of them could be trusted. She was his best friend, he'd saved her from millennia of imprisonment, and surely he knew all she wanted was for him to be safe… right?

Doubt began to creep through her. What if he didn't believe her? What if he turned on her and told her to leave, to go back to Homeworld? What if-

She shook her head at once and jumped to her feet. Steven would believe her - if she moved quickly. The longer she stayed away, the more time they had to poison him against her. The first thing she needed to do was go back to the barn, now. If she was lucky, Garnet and Peridot might still be there and she could end this now.

xXxXx

Garnet and Peridot were not still there. And to her dismay, Jasper's bubble was gone too. She didn't _think_ the Crystal Gems would release her just yet, but the fact that they now knew Lapis had bubbled her and not told them was another mark against her. She absently kicked aside some of her charred and soggy possessions as she considered her next move. She needed to go to the beach house now and see what was happening there, but should she wait until Steven was there or not? She considered that carefully for a few minutes. If he were there, would the gems be more willing to listen? Probably not, she had to admit. They _might_ have learned to restrain themselves a little after the misunderstanding over the Diamond communicator, but she couldn't count on that. They were still far too quick to resort to violence, and they wouldn't hold back, not even if Steven was in the vicinity. But she knew _she_ wouldn't feel comfortable unleashing her full power unless she knew he was safe, and she really didn't want to have to restrain herself if she were forced to fight.

Besides, if she had to poof the Crystal Gems, it would be much less traumatic for Steven if he didn't have to witness it.

With that thought, she flew slowly towards the beach house, making one small detour along the way to see if there was any sign of Steven at his father's car wash. The building was in darkness and the van seemed to be devoid of life. She debated whether or not to knock on the back doors, but ultimately decided against it. She could always come back and check later after she'd dealt with the Crystal Gems.

Unfortunately, the confrontation didn't go as well as she'd hoped. She'd mostly expected them to dismiss her story, but she'd been completely unprepared for Garnet - no, _Ruby's_ trick with the steam. When she finally thought to use her hydrokinesis to clear it, the Crystal Gems, and Jasper's bubbled gem were gone. She swore quietly and began to pace up and down the damp, wooden floor. She could guess where they'd warped to; the desert, the one place on the planet where her powers had failed her. She had no intention of following them there, and she was equally sure they wouldn't be in a hurry to return.

But return they would. It might take hours, it might take days, but this was their base. It was where they stored bubbled gems (and with that thought, she shot a wary glance at the Temple doorway in case any of them had the bright idea of bubbling themselves back in) and it was Steven's home. They'd have to come back eventually, and when they did, she'd be-

Her foot hit something and sent it skidding across the floor. She glanced down, expecting to see a rock or perhaps a dead fish. Instead, she saw a cell phone. For a split second, she thought it was her own, but then she remembered leaving it back in her room at the barn. This must be Garnet's phone, she realised, dropped when she separated back into Ruby and Sapphire. Did it still work? She picked it up and pressed the power button to discover that the answer was yes, although it immediately bleeped a low battery warning. She tapped it thoughtfully against her chin as she pondered her next move.

She _could_ stay here and wait for the Crystal Gems to return. She was ideally situated in their base and surrounded by water. Steven wasn't in danger and she wouldn't be taken by surprise a second time.

But on the other hand, how long would she have to wait? The Crystal Gems were not a patient group, but they also weren't completely stupid. They wouldn't come back until they were good and ready. So wherever they'd sent Steven, it would be somewhere they knew he could stay indefinitely if he needed to. Probably with his father. And Peridot. Obviously they'd sent the miserable little goblin away too and now she'd lost both Jasper and the diaries, it was only a matter of time before Peridot gathered up the courage to run her mouth. No, she needed to talk to Steven first, preferably on a phone that wasn't seconds from death. She reached behind herself with some difficulty, put Garnet's phone in her gem for safekeeping and then stepped outside and flew back to the barn.

The barn looked even more dilapidated upon her return, with its shattered wall and burned interior. She flew up through the hole in her floor and had a hopeful poke around the bits that hadn't fallen down, but it was quickly apparent that her phone wasn't there, which meant it had to be somewhere down on the floor.

"Aha!" she suddenly exclaimed, and twisted an arm behind her back to retrieve Garnet's phone. Then she quickly found her own number and called it.

To her annoyance, it went straight to voicemail. "Ugh," she muttered under her breath as Peridot's annoying, chipper voice asked her to leave a message after the beep. Now that she thought about it, she hadn't bothered charging it since Peridot had given it to her. She'd assumed the other gem had used some sort of gem tech power source instead of relying upon the notoriously unreliable human batteries, but obviously not. Then to her dismay, Garnets phone suddenly bleeped and shut off too. She sighed, put the phone away again, jumped back down to the lower level and began picking through all the debris that had fallen from her room.

Eventually she found her own phone underneath a pile of pulpy books, but there was no sign of the charger. So now she had two phones and both of them were useless. Then suddenly, she had a brainwave and flew up to Peridot's side of the barn. Sure enough, a phone charger was plugged into one of the outlets. The fire had damaged the electrical circuits, meaning she couldn't actually charge the phones in the barn, but that was OK. She could always go back to the beach house and charge them there while she waited for the Crystal Gems to return.

xXxXx

Several hours later, the phones were charged and there was still no sign of the Crystal Gems. Lapis took a last look around the room, decided she was done waiting and warped to the Sky Arena. Then she settled down at the feet of Blue Diamond's statue and called Steven. The phone rang in her ear, and then to her delight, she heard his voice.

"Hi, this is Steven Universe!"

"Steven!" she cried, scrambling up to her feet. "You have to listen to me-"

"Sorry, I can't answer your call right now. I'm probably on a mission or something. So please leave a message after the beep and I'll call you back!"

Lapis sagged back against the statue in dismay. Until that moment, she hadn't really realised how much she needed to talk to him, to make sure he didn't hate her. She exhaled shakily and pulled the phone away from her ear, and was just about to end the call when she heard the faint _beep_ on the other end of the line. Then, after a moment of hesitation, she raised the phone back up to her ear again. "Um, Steven? I guess you can't hear me right now. I just… I wanted to see how you're doing." She swallowed hard. She hadn't the faintest idea what to say next, she hadn't been prepared for a monologue. "Um… I hope I'll see you again soon. I just needed to tell you I um, I was just… trying to protect you. That's all."

Then she quickly stabbed the screen to end the call and cradled her head in her hands with a groan, annoyed with her pathetic speech. But before she could dwell upon it, the other phone rang in her hand and she dropped it with a small squeak of surprise.

 _Incoming call: Greg_

She stared frozen at the screen for several seconds. It couldn't be a coincidence that Greg was calling Garnet just after she'd phoned Steven. He had to be checking up on her, making sure Lapis hadn't done anything to them. She couldn't answer the call; she was good at mimicry, but that didn't extend to voices. The call ended and she began to quietly panic. If Greg thought she'd harmed the Crystal Gems, what would he tell Steven? He certainly wouldn't bring him back to Beach City any time soon! With that in mind, she quickly opened the message app and tapped out a quick text to buy herself some time.

Then she slumped back against the statue again and wondered what on Earth she was going to next.

xXx

And here's what Lapis has been up to! Mostly just realising she's fucked up, haha. Anyway, I headcanon that Garnet and Lapis both suck at keeping their phones charged because they're just not used to having them. Half the time they forget to even take them with them, which is why Garnet didn't lose hers when Ruby gave Steven a hug in the snow, and not because I didn't think about it until I was writing these last few chapters here.


	64. Tongue Tied

Chapter Sixty-Four - Tongue Tied

"Ooof! I may have eaten too many pancakes there." Greg sat back in his chair and patted his belly. "Usually I run out of money before I run out of pancakes. Guess it'll be a while before that happens again."

"Mmm," Steven said vaguely and pulled a hash brown apart with his knife and fork. Beside him, Peridot was diligently shredding a napkin into tiny pieces. Greg was suddenly hit with a strange sense of déjà-vu. This was reminding him far too much of that horrible breakfast at The Best Diner in the World.

"Will you two be all right here if I go and look for a charger?" he asked a little anxiously. He didn't want to rush Steven, and he also didn't want to subject Peridot to further attention from curious travellers, but at the same time, he wasn't completely comfortable with leaving them alone, even after Garnet's text message.

Still, they both nodded in unison. "Yeah, we'll be right here," Steven reassured him without looking up from his food.

"OK. I won't be long." He stood up and dithered for a moment longer. "Do you two want anything? Snacks? Magazines?"

Steven shook his head. "I'm good."

"Peridot?"

"No thank you," Peridot said woodenly.

"OK," Greg said again. "I'll be as quick as I can. Don't break the table while I'm gone!" He waited for some sort of reaction, but neither of the two young gems responded. "Well… I'll be back soon."

For the next minute, there was no sound at the little table other than the tearing of paper and the clanking of cutlery. Then Peridot ran out of napkin. "Steven?" she asked quietly.

Steven dragged a piece of bacon through egg yolk and tried to decide whether or not he actually wanted to put it in his mouth. "Yeah?"

"Are you angry with me?"

"Huh?" Steven looked at her in surprise. "What? No! Why would I be angry with you?"

Peridot shrugged. "For breaking your phone again? And… for failing to befriend Lazuli?"

"No!" Steven protested at once. Then he sighed and put down his cutlery. His appetite had gone. "OK, maybe I'm a _tiny_ bit annoyed about the phone, but not about… the other thing," he admitted. "It wasn't your fault."

"Isn't it?" she said bitterly. "Then why won't you look at me?"

It was then that Steven realised he was staring at his plate again and he flushed with shame. "I'm sorry," he said at once, turning to look at her. "I don't really know how to deal with this. Lapis is my friend and I trusted her, and now I feel guilty every time I look at you and see that she hurt you. The uh, the bruises around your neck," he mumbled as she shot him a look of confusion.

"What?" She stared at him for a moment and then lunged across the table for Greg's unused spoon so she could see her reflection. "Oh! Ew. Yes. She um, she sort of… throttled me." And she'd thought people were just staring because she was green. She turned the spoon slightly, marvelling at how it distorted her appearance.

"Do you want me to try and heal them?" Steven offered. "I mean, it might not work, but I can try."

Peridot shuddered. "You are _not_ licking my neck."

Steven let out a snort of laughter at that. "No! Yikes! We'd get arrested!" A mental image of himself licking Peridot's neck like an ice cream while a crowd of horrified travellers looked on suddenly popped into his head and he began to laugh harder. Peridot blinked at him in surprise, but then began to giggle as well. Soon the two of them were laughing uncontrollably, tears of mirth rolling down their cheeks, until Steven put his elbow in the remains of his breakfast and knocked the plate on the floor. "Heheh… oops," he said guiltily as a staff member dashed over and swept the mess away.

"You have vitellus on your elbow," Peridot observed as she grabbed a new, unshredded napkin to wipe her eyes.

"What? Oh, egg yolk." Steven twisted his arm around so he could get a better a look. "Do you think I can lick it off?" he asked mischievously.

"It's almost entirely impossible for a human being to lick their own elbow," Peridot said. "So, no."

Steven nodded solemnly. "You're probably right. Except I'm only half human." And with that, he concentrated hard until his tongue glowed and grew six inches. "Ehhh!"

Peridot began to laugh again. "That's disgusting! Eugh, don't wiggle it at me!"

"You two seem cheerier." Greg smiled and slipped back into his seat as Steven hastily shrunk his tongue back to normal size. "So, good news, I found a charger. And I know you said you didn't want anything, but apparently there's going to be a new Dogcopter movie coming out and I saw this magazine that's got an interview with the author and the cast."

"Ohmygosh!" Steven exclaimed with delight. "I thought they weren't doing any more after Dogcopter 4 revealed the mystery behind Dogcopter's origins!"

"Dogcopter?" Peridot repeated in confusion. "What is… Dogcopter?"

"He's a flying dog," Steven explained badly. "I mean, he's a flying dog, with humanity." Peridot stared blankly at him and he groaned. "Oh jeez. I mean, uh… he's…" He thought for a minute. "It would probably be easier to show you. When Dad's phone's charged, I'll show you the trailer on TubeTube."

"OK," Peridot said agreeably.

"It looks like this one's a prequel," Greg commented as he read the cover blurb a little closer. "So if you guys wanted to see it, you wouldn't necessarily have to watch the other four first."

"No, you _have_ to watch the others first!" Steven argued at once. "There might be lore! And foreshadowing! Plus they're just good."

Greg laughed. "Yeah, I guess that's a pretty convincing argument."

"Connie's got the whole series on DVD," Steven continued. "We could invite her over and have a movie marathon, you, me, Connie and-" He caught himself just in time. "A-and uh, you could try popcorn?"

"Mmm. Perhaps," Peridot said, pretending she didn't know why he'd stumbled over his words. Still, she appreciated that he'd recognised that it wouldn't be right to include Lapis in future plans, and allowed him a small smile of acknowledgement.

"OK," Greg quickly butted in. "Well, if we're all done, let's get back on the road and get this phone switched back on."

A few minutes later, they were back in the Dondai. Greg began attacking the blister pack holding his car charger while Steven quickly flicked through the magazine before putting it aside to read later. "Hey, Peridot? Do you wanna talk about what happened?" he asked. "I know I asked you before, but that was, well, before." He glanced over at his father, remembering their own talk the night before. It hadn't been pleasant, but it had helped him to understand things a bit more clearly. "You don't have to if you don't want to, but it might help you feel better."

Peridot pulled a face. "I know I probably should," she muttered. "But I don't want to."

"That's fine, that's understandable," Steven said quickly. "But, um, do you think you could tell me what the whole thing about taking me to Homeworld was about at least?"

"What?" Peridot asked in surprise. "How did you know about that?"

"What?" Greg repeated sharply and twisted around to look at them both. "What about Homeworld?"

"Your memories," Steven said in answer to Peridot's question. "Somebody mentioned it and it's kinda been worrying me a little."

Peridot scowled at that. "If there were a genuine threat to take you to Homeworld, don't you think I'd tell the gems about it?"

"Of course!" Steven hastily insisted, realising he'd insulted her. "I know it was just one line out of context and it's gotta be some sort of misunderstanding, but I just thought it was something you couldn't explain because of, y'know, the whole thing with the Diamond communicator."

Well, she had to admit, he wasn't entirely wrong there. "You really want to know?" she checked.

"Yes," Steven and Greg said in unison.

There didn't seem to be any point in beating about the bush, so Peridot decided it was best to just come straight out with it. "Lapis took my diary and made a copy of it, in which she claimed I was planning to take you back to Homeworld as an offering for Yellow Diamond. Then she threatened to hand it over to the Crystal Gems unless I did as she ordered."

Stunned silence followed those words.

"That's why I couldn't tell you anything," Peridot finished. "Not until I was able to destroy the diaries and ensure the safety of Jasper's gem."

"Jasper's-" Steven began, before remembering the blue bubble Peridot and Garnet had brought back from the barn. "Right. Lapis had Jasper's gem." Then he reran that sentence through his head and frowned. "Lapis had Jasper's gem?"

Peridot nodded. "Apparently she bubbled her when she first woke up."

Steven's jaw dropped. "Wow."

"So just to clarify, nobody's planning to take Steven to Homeworld?" Greg asked.

"Nobody's planning to take Steven to Homeworld," Peridot answered firmly.

"Good. That's great. I'm glad we cleared that up." And with that, Greg plugged the charger into the cigarette lighter and started up the car. "Now let's get back on the road. I dunno how fast these things work, so we'll drive for about half an hour before we try switching it back on."

xXxXx

"Have you tried them again?" Pearl called over her shoulder, raising her voice so it could be heard through the plexiglass shield.

"I tried them five minutes ago. There's still no answer," Garnet called back.

"Keep trying!"

Garnet rolled all three of her eyes. "I am trying."

"No you're not," Jasper objected. "You're scanning Earth data files."

"What?" Pearl twisted around to look over her shoulder. "Garnet!"

"Whoa, Pearl, eyes on the road!" Amethyst shrieked.

"I am trying at intervals," Garnet elaborated. "The rest of the time, I'm searching local news websites to see if there's any mention of floods or property damage, anything that might give us some idea of Lapis's location. Seeing as we couldn't understand anything they were saying on the radio."

"Oh." Pearl looked slightly abashed at this information. "Of course."

"But I'm going to have to stop doing that soon or this phone's going to run out of battery too."

Amethyst frowned. "You'd think with how much time they spend using them, humans would have better power sources for their cell phones."

"You'd think so," Garnet agreed blandly. "Try the radio again. Maybe we can pick up a local station."

Amethyst reached forward and began fiddling with the radio, but once again, all she could get was indecipherable police chatter. "Ugh, why can't they just speak English?" she complained. "Why do they keep saying ten twenty? It's not ten twenty anyway, it's nine forty-five."

"I imagine it's some sort of code," Pearl said thoughtfully.

"Yeah, I got that, I'm not completely stupid," Amethyst said snidely. "I was making a _joke._ "

Pearl flushed. "Well, ex _cuse_ me for trying to help!"

"Shh!" Garnet said sharply. The two bickering gems fell silent and cast guilty, apologetic looks towards the mirror, where their leader was reflected, but instead of reprimanding them, Garnet held the phone up. "There's a radio app on this phone." Seconds later, tinny music filled the air. "Keep quiet. The news will be on at ten."

"Man, Buck Dewey better have a _really_ good data plan," Amethyst muttered under her breath.

xXx

I thought about letting Amethyst drive. Then I realised there was absolutely no way Pearl would let her get behind the wheel of a car. Sorry!


	65. We Used To Be Friends

Chapter Sixty-Five - We Used To Be Friends

"Hooray! We have power!" Steven held the phone aloft in delight. "And a whopping 57% power at that." Then the phone began to buzz as messages started coming in. "OK, so you've got a Kic message-"

"That'll be Kic points," Greg commented.

"A text from Vidalia… a couple of texts from Buck… ah, here we are, new messages from Garnet." Without waiting to be prompted, Steven tapped on her icon and began reading the messages aloud. "'Everything has been dealt with, where are you?' 'Where are you? We will meet you and talk.' 'I assume your phone had run out of power, please contact me and let me know where you are when you get this message.'"

"There was a sign back there that said we're a couple of miles outside Sunset Beach City," Greg called over his shoulder. "We'll head there and find a place to wait."

"Sunset Beach City?" Peridot repeated in confusion. "I thought we were heading away from the coast?"

"It's a lakeside beach," Greg explained. "But uh, we can keep going if you like, find another town or rest stop or whatever."

"No, Sunset Beach City is fine," Peridot lied. Truth be told, she was pretty sure it would be a long time before she was comfortable around water again, but as the entire team was based by the ocean, it was something she was going to have to deal with. At least it would be easier now she knew the water wasn't going to be used against her any more.

"Sunset Beach City it is then!" Greg switched on the turn signal and took the next exit off the interstate. A few minutes later, they pulled up outside a small, empty rest stop just outside the city limits.

"OK, so… rest… stop… just… outside… sunset… beach… city…" Steven typed laboriously and then hit the 'send' icon. "Done. Aaaand now I'm going to go to the restroom."

"OK, Shtoo-ball." Greg took the phone back and began reading the message from Vidalia as Steven wandered off.

 _Thx 4 the ride, sc is doing much better now. Gotta contact m now 4 insurance boo hiss! Wisg me luck!_

Greg smiled and began writing back. _Np, sorry I had to dash off, big gem emergency._ Then, realising that could be a slightly worrying message for someone who lived in a city that had once been evacuated because of an ominous gem spaceship, he quickly sent a follow-up text. _All fine now tho, should be back by tomorrow._

A few minutes later, his phone bleeped. Expecting a reply from Vidalia, he was slightly surprised to see another message notification from Buck Dewey. In fact, he had ten new message notifications from him, which was a little above average. "Did I forget a Guitar Dad lesson?" he muttered. He tapped on the boy's name and began reading.

 _You missed a call from me at 08:34. This is a free Call Alert. To disable this dial 109, press *, then option 4_

 _Greg this is garnet DO NOT ANSWER ANY CALLS FROM MY PHONE I ropped it and we can't find it_

 _You missed a call from me at 08:58. This is a free Call Alert. To disable this dial 109, press *, then option 4_

 _Greg r u there_

 _U 2 need 2 charge you're phones tell steven not to reply to calls messages from me im telling him same for you_

 _You missed a call from me at 09:41. This is a free Call Alert. To disable this dial 109, press *, then option 4_

 _Greg call me urgent where are you_

 _We r on our way have stolen police car where are u_

 _You missed a call from me at 10:13. This is a free Call Alert. To disable this dial 109, press *, then option 4_

 _Greg we think lapis may have my phone do not answer it do not reply to messages it is noyt me_

An icy dread crept over Greg. He jammed the phone back into his pocket with clammy fingers and took two steps towards the restrooms before belatedly remembering Peridot. Peridot, who was stood at the edge of the parking lot, looking down at Lake Scam, a lake that was most definitely _not_ smaller than average.

He jogged over to her and grabbed her by the arm, making her jump. "Yeep! Greg, you startled-"

"Peridot, I need you to get back in the car, right away," Greg interrupted, trying very hard to keep his voice steady. He fumbled in his pocket for the keys and almost dropped them on the floor. "Here. Use this one."

"Um, OK." Peridot almost asked why, but something in his expression told her to just shut up and do as she was told.

"And uh, maybe you should… hide. In the footwell or something," he added, and gave her a gentle push in the direction of the car. "I'm just going to find Steven. I'll be right back."

Peridot watched him stumble away in the direction of the restrooms and felt herself begin to tremble with fear. Something had obviously spooked Greg, and she could easily guess what.

xXxXx

Steven finished drying his hands and tossed the paper towel in the garbage. "Time to head back outside and wait for the gems," he muttered to himself. He wondered what they'd done with Lapis. Much as he wanted to believe they'd worked out their differences and come to some sort of compromise, he had to reluctantly admit that she was probably now yet another addition to the bubbled gems in the Burning Room. Perhaps if he discussed it with everyone, he might be allowed to release her (in the desert perhaps?) and talk to her? There had to be _some_ way they could work this out, right?

He sighed and shook his head sadly as his reflection. "Maybe this job's just too big for little Stevie," he said to himself. He stepped outside and turned to walk back to the car, when suddenly, a hand clamped down over his mouth. Another arm wrapped around his stomach and he felt himself being dragged behind the building. "Mmmph!"

"Shh! Steven! It's me!" a familiar voice whispered in his ear.

At the same time, he realised the arms holding him were blue, and so he stopped struggling and allowed her to led him out of sight. Then he twisted out of her grip and spun around to face her. "Lapis!"

Lapis smiled a slightly strained smile at him. "Hi, Steven."

"Lapis…" Steven bit his lip. "Look, you probably shouldn't be here. The gems are on their way, they could be here at any minute."

"Right, of course." Lapis nodded quickly. "I just needed to talk to you quickly-"

"Wait, _how_ are you here?" Steven interrupted as a thought occurred to him. "Garnet said everything had been dealt with, I thought that meant they'd poofed you."

"Well, obviously not!" Lapis giggled, but it was a nervous, high-pitched sound. "Don't worry though, everything's fine. I just need-"

"What do you mean, eveything's fine?" Steven interrupted again. He took a small step backwards and narrowed his eyes at her. "Where are the gems?" he asked warily. "Why aren't they here too?"

Lapis shook her head impatiently. "I'm sure they're on their way, but-"

"Are they?" Steven took another step backwards. "You didn't… _do_ anything to them?"

"What? No!" Lapis looked deeply offended by the accusation. "How could you think that of me!?"

"After what you did to Peridot?" Steven countered. "And you didn't even tell anyone you'd bubbled Jasper!"

"That was different!" Lapis argued. "Jasper wanted to take you back to Homeworld, you know that. I couldn't risk the Crystal Gems setting her free, especially not when I found out Peridot was planning to do the same thing. OK, so maybe I should've told someone, or done something instead of trying to fuse with her, but she burned the barn down and I didn't have any proof! I couldn't think what else to do!" She grabbed his hands and gave him an imploring look. "I was only trying to keep you safe, I promise!"

Appalled, Steven jerked his hands free. "You did _what_!?"

"What?" Lapis repeated, confused.

Steven just shook his head, too sickened to reply. Malachite had been bad enough, but they'd all glossed over it, pretending Lapis hadn't done anything wrong, because Jasper had been a genuine threat towards them at the time. But Peridot was harmless. Even if she _had_ been planning to take him to Homeworld, it would've been simple enough to just poof her. He could probably manage it himself. But forcing her into a fusion was an unnecessarily cruel move, designed to let her know she was being imprisoned and punished, just as Lapis had done with Jasper. No _wonder_ Garnet had sent them away! He took a deep breath and swallowed down his nausea. "Lapis, I think you should go."

"What?" Lapis said again in dismay. "No, please, Steven, I need to talk to you!"

"Why, so you can tell me more lies?" Steven said, suddenly furious. "I know Peridot wasn't planning anything of the sort, even before she became a Crystal Gem, she tried really hard to be more than what Homeworld made her for! She might miss it, but I know she doesn't want to go back there and be how she used to be! "

Finally accepting that her story wasn't going to work, Lapis tried a different tack. "OK, maybe I got that wrong, but Steven, you don't know what she was like, what she did to me!"

"I know she interrogated you and brought you back here," Steven said at once. "And that must have been awful for you. I didn't realise before how much you must have hated coming back here because the Earth's my home and I love it. But it was just her job. She wasn't being malicious about it, and she never planned for any of you to get stuck here."

"Well I am!" Lapis snapped. "And it's _her_ fault!"

Steven sighed. It would be pointless to explain that Peridot was only one of many people responsible for Lapis's current situation when she was clearly determined to blame the other gem entirely. "Lapis… if you hate her so much, you should've told us. We could've found somewhere else for you to live, this planet is huge-"

"You _wanted_ us to live together!" Lapis cried in disbelief. "You practically _begged_ me to let her live in the barn! I was trying to make you _happy_!"

"You think _this_ is making me happy!?" Steven waved his hands angrily. "All I ever wanted was for you to give her a chance to show you she'd changed, that's all! I didn't want you to use that chance to torture her!"

Lapis shook her head desperately. "No, it wasn't like that, I swear! I just- she _made_ me-"

Steven shook his head as well. "She's my friend-"

" _I'm_ your friend! You don't need her!" Lapis tried to grab his hands again, but he stepped back out of reach.

"Lapis…" Steven closed his eyes briefly. When he opened them again, his beach-summer-fun-buddy was gone and in her place stood a vengeful, remorseless stranger. "I'm sorry, but I don't think we can be friends any more."

"What?" Lapis felt almost sick with panic. "No, Steven, please! I didn't do anything! Whatever she said, she's lying!"

"She didn't say anything," Steven said sadly. " _You_ did."

xXx

Fun fact - because I am a sucker for making sure everything is as realistic as it can be in this alt-Earth, I used a route planner to see just how long it would take these guys to travel from Delaware to Nevada (apparently the driest state) and much to my delight, right around where I thought this would take place is a lake and a town called Sunset Beach. A sign from the fanfiction Gods, amiright? Of course, any resemblance to the real Sunset Beach area is purely coincidental because other than glancing at a map, I mostly made the rest up.

Also LOL at Garnet's terrible typing! To be fair to her, she typed those in a hurry.


	66. Desperation

Chapter Sixty-Six - Desperation

Greg crept silently around the edge of the building, pushed open the restroom door and slipped in. "Steven?" he hissed hopefully. There was no answer, but he still made sure to check all the stalls twice.

No Steven.

That didn't necessarily mean Lapis had swooped in and flown his son away, but Greg could still feel his pulse racing. He took a deep breath and immediately wished he'd waited until he was outside again. "Ack! Nasty!"

Once he'd left the restroom, he began creeping around the building again. Perhaps Steven had decided to walk all the way around to see if he could get a better view of the lake or something. But as he approached the back wall, he could hear raised voices. Familiar voices. His pulse skyrocketed and for a split second, he thought he was going to pass out and he was forced to lean against the wall for support. Once the moment passed, he dared to peek around the corner, just to confirm his fears.

Sure enough, Lapis was there, arguing with his son.

He snapped his head back out of sight and fumbled for his phone with sweat-slippery hands, almost calling Vidalia by mistake before he managed to hit Buck's contact details. He squashed the phone up to his ear as close as possible and hopped impatiently from foot to foot as it rang in his ear. "Come on, come on…"

"Greg! Finally!"

Garnet's voice sounded painfully loud in his ear, but he didn't dare move the phone away in case any sound leaked out and alerted Lapis to his position. "She's here!" he hissed before Garnet could start firing questions at him. "We got your messages too late and-"

"Who's there?"

Greg quickly hid the phone behind his back just as Lapis stepped around the corner. "Aheh, hi Lapis!" he said in a loud voice. "Fancy seeing you here, _at the rest stop just outside Sunset Beach City-_ ow!"

Lapis stepped back again and calmly crushed the phone into pieces. "Excuse us please, Greg. We're talking."

"No we're not," Steven countered and moved to stand defensively in front of his father. "We're done talking, Lapis. You need to leave."

"I'm not going anywhere!" Lapis snapped. She raised an arm and behind her, a giant, watery limb rose out of the lake. Greg let out a shriek of alarm and Steven instinctively formed a protective bubble around them both, but instead of trying to crush them, as he'd half-expected, the hand gently picked up the bubble and then tossed it out into the middle of the lake. Lapis watched it bob up and down for a moment before it sunk beneath the surface of the water. Then she turned and began scanning the area for any sign of Peridot. The other gem had to be around here somewhere, and this time Lapis was determined not to let herself get tricked. So instead of searching the restrooms herself, she morphed the water hand into two clones and sent them in. And while they did that, she walked around to the front of the building and looked around the parking lot. She didn't recognise the car parked there, but as it was the only vehicle in the lot, it seemed fairly logical to assume that it was the car Greg had driven here. She narrowed her eyes and began walking towards it.

Inside the car, Peridot was quietly panicking. Greg had yet to return with Steven, and she couldn't see anything outside from her position down in the front passenger footwell. Part of her desperately wanted to peep out of the windows to see if there was any sign of them, but a much bigger part of her had absolutely no intention of moving out of her hiding place until she'd received an all-clear. Maybe if she had a weapon…

She cautiously uncurled and reached up to pop open the glove compartment. Greg, fresh with new-car-ownership pride, had yet to sully his car with junk and rubbish and had instead made an effort to stock it with useful stuff, and her fingers brushed over a small first aid kit, duct tape and cable ties before closing around a socket wrench. She would've preferred something stabbier, but it was metal and it was heavy and it was better than nothing. She was just steeling herself to sit up and look outside when she heard footsteps crunching over the gravel. A single set of footsteps. Footsteps too light to belong to either Greg or Steven.

A tall shadow fell across the front seat and she drew further back into the footwell with a terrified whimper. Then she immediately clamped a hand over her mouth so no further noise could escape. The footsteps paused. And then, to her surprise and relief, they began walking away.

Then something crashed into the side of the car and Peridot couldn't hold back her shocked scream as she bounced around inside. The Dondai sailed across the parking lot, taking out several traffic signs and a garbage can before landing on its roof on the road outside. Too dazed and disorientated to move, Peridot could only lie there among the broken glass as the footsteps approached again.

"You know," Lapis called out, "considering how much trouble you gave the Crystal Gems, I thought you'd be a lot better at hiding." She flew up into the air and then landed heavily on the underside of the car. There was an ominous creaking noise, and more glass rained down upon the gravel. "Then again, they're really, really bad at hide and seek. So I figure I've got plenty of time to deal with you before they show up." She waited for a moment, listening for any sound from within the vehicle. There was a faint scrabbling noise, and she immediately formed a large spike of ice and skewered the car somewhere close to where she thought it had come from, and was rewarded with a scream. "But just to be on the safe side, I'm going to do it quick."

Inside the car, Peridot gritted her teeth and rolled over into a crouching position, taking care to avoid the icicle that had come dangerously close to stabbing her through the head. "You won't win any favours from Steven by attacking me now!" she shouted up at the other gem.

Lapis scowled and summoned three more icicles. "You took him away from me! He hates me, thanks to you!" she spat. "If I shatter you, he might still hate me, but you'll be dead. As far as I'm concerned right now, that's an improvement." And with that, she made a gesture with her hand and the icicles stabbed through the car again.

Peridot screamed again, but this time, it was a cry of pain as one of the icicles impaled her left hand. It wasn't enough to poof her, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt. Gritting her teeth together, she gripped the socket wrench harder with her other hand and whacked it against the icicle, shattering it to pieces. Then, concentrating as hard as she could, and unknowingly boosted by her heightened state of distress, she held her injured hand upwards and _pushed_ with her metal powers. The car lurched violently and Lapis jumped off with a cry of alarm, giving Peridot the chance she needed to crawl out of the wreckage, which she immediately knelt down behind for shelter.

"OK, you're getting way too tricky with those metal powers," Lapis mused. "Let's see how well you manage without _this_." Her icicles morphed back into a water hand, picked up what was left of the Dondai, and casually tossed it into the lake, almost crushing one unfortunate swimmer in the process. Deprived of her barricade, Peridot squeaked with fright and tried to scoot backwards, a task made all the more difficult by the fact that one hand was injured and the other one still held the wrench. Lapis's gaze fell upon the makeshift weapon and she frowned, remembering Peridot's screwdriver attack. "Yeah, no, I don't think so. Put that down," she ordered.

Peridot's eyes flicked down to the wrench in her hand and her grip tightened as she scrambled to her feet. But before she could make any move to use her weapon, Lapis waved a hand in her direction and a ball of water formed around the younger gem's hand. Then Lapis slowly clenched her fist and Peridot gasped as the water pressure increased and began to crush her.

"Put it down," Lapis said again. But now a small smile was twitching at the corner of her lips. It was an impossible command, and she knew fully well that the other gem didn't have the strength to fight the crushing force of the water. Sure enough, Peridot began to whimper in pain and tried to drop the wrench, only to find her fingers frozen in place. Lapis smirked and clenched her fist tighter. "I mean it, put it down or I'll crush your hand so hard, it'll turn inside out."

"I'm trying! Ow!" Peridot tried to shake her hand free, but the wrench stayed clutched firmly in her grip. "Lapis, please! It hurts!"

"Good." Lapis watched with satisfaction as the wrench began to warp. "I wonder what would happen if I did this to your gem?" Peridot's eyes widened in fear and Lapis laughed. "I'm not going to, though. Not when I can have the satisfaction of shattering you with my bare hands." And with that, she stepped forward and pressed her thumbs firmly against Peridot's gem. There was a loud _crack_ and Peridot screamed in agony before collapsing in a dead faint.

xXx

I'm not sorry.


	67. We Are The Crystal Gems

Chapter Sixty-Seven - We Are The Crystal Gems

As Peridot's holographic form flicked, Lapis knelt down to take a closer look at her gem. It had cracked across the middle, but it was still holding together and she knew Steven was capable of repairing the damage. She reached out…

Something flickered in the corner of her eye and she flung herself to one side as Lion jumped through a portal and narrowly missed her. She straightened up again, wondering why he was alone, when something else came flying through the portal and slammed into her chest, sending her flying across the parking lot.

"All right! Twenty points to Pearl!" Amethyst cheered from inside the police car.

Unfortunately for them, Lapis was relatively unharmed, and she quickly extended her wings and flew to safety on top of the restroom block. A new water hand rose out of the lake and formed a fist before crashing down upon the roof of the car, but the Crystal Gems had already burst out of the doors. And with them was one familiar, unwelcome figure. "Ugh, you?" she groused. "I thought Peridot was scraping the bottom of the barrel. I guess the Crystal Gems have nowhere to go but down."

"What's the plan?" Pearl muttered to her teammates.

Jasper leapt forward. "GET HER!"

Amethyst raised her eyebrows. "Sounds as good a plan as any to me."

Looking almost bored, Lapis flicked her hands at the advancing gems to summon water clones. The trick had worked well the first time she'd fought them, after all. But this time, the Crystal Gems were expecting it. "Switch it up!" Garnet shouted, and intercepted Jasper's clone. Amethyst used her speed dash to attack Pearl's clone, Jasper went to town on Garnet's, and Pearl very sensibly summoned an entire squadron of holo-Pearls to deal with Amethyst's.

"DO YOU WISH TO ENGAGE IN COMBAT?" they all screamed in unison, before impaling the unfortunate clone in ten different places.

Meanwhile, Pearl slipped back out of range and made to move towards the green figure laying prone on the ground. But before she could reach Peridot, Lapis swung a hand in her direction and formed a barricade of water-holo-Pearls. "Augh!" Pearl groaned.

"Incoming!" Amethyst hollered. Pearl's eyes flickered towards her teammate and she immediately leapt into the air as Amethyst spun towards her and knocked the clones over like skittles. "How's Peridot?" she asked urgently as Pearl landed daintily beside her.

"I didn't get a chance to check," Pearl admitted. "But she doesn't look good."

The water-holo-Pearls had already reformed and began advancing menacingly upon the duo, and Amethyst swore and backed away. "What about Greg and Steven?"

"I don't see them. Or the car." Pearl looked around. "Lion's disappeared though, he must have gone to find them." She swung her spear and deflected a blow from one of the clones.

"And these guys? What d'ya think, could Opal take 'em out?" Amethyst asked.

Pearl shook her head. "If we form Opal, the clones will do so as well. Further fusion is just going to give us bigger, stronger opponents." She glanced up at Lapis on the roof. "What we need to do is stop her from controlling the clones."

"Right." Amethyst nodded. "And uh, how exactly do we do that?"

"We bring her down to Earth," Pearl said with a smile.

Meanwhile, Jasper and Garnet seemed to have come to the same conclusion. The clones kept morphing to mimic their opponents and every time they switched places, it happened again. In frustration, Jasper picked her clone up and tossed it the restroom block, making the entire structure shudder. Garnet glanced over at her, and then, by unspoken agreement, they both turned and began slamming their fists into the building.

Lapis let out a yelp of surprise as the roof shook beneath her and, taking immediate advantage of her distracted state, Amethyst lashed out with her whip and caught her around the ankles. The blue gem immediately summoned her wings and tried to pull free, but Pearl ran forward, grabbed the whipcord, and the two of them began reeling her in. Then Jasper stepped forward too. Lapis flapped her wings harder, but to her dismay, she felt herself being slowly but surely dragged towards the edge of the roof. In desperation, she waved a hand wildly at the numerous water clones on the ground below.

Immediately, the clones all drew back and merged into each other, forming one enormous being. The whip slackened around Lapis's ankles as the three gems slowly turned and faced the enormous form of Malachite. She raised one of her many hands into the air…

…And froze solid.

"What the heck?" Lapis exclaimed, too surprised to use her chance to escape.

A moment later, her unspoken question was answered as Ruby and Sapphire stepped out from behind the frozen fusion. They grinned at each other and embraced. A second later, Garnet straightened up and summoned her gauntlets. "Get back in the water!" she yelled, and punched the icy monster into the air. Then, at the height of its arc, she fired her gauntlets at it, shattering it into pieces.

Mesmerised, Lapis watched chunks of ice rain into the lake for several seconds before a sharp tug on her ankles reminded her that she was still in the middle of a fight. One she was actually on the verge of losing. She gritted her teeth and flapped her wings again before making a gesture towards the lake to summon another ball of water. But this time, it came with a passenger. "Catch!" she yelled, and flung an occupied canoe across the parking lot.

The poor woman inside the canoe shrieked and the whip went slack as the Crystal Gems scrambled to catch her before she hit the ground. Encouraged by this, Lapis summoned a few more people to throw at them. There weren't a great deal of people on the lake; it wasn't a popular destination in late autumn, and the few brave souls who had dared to enter the water that day had mostly been scared off by the screaming pink bubble, the crushed car, and the ice. But a swimmer went hurtling through the air, yelling their head off until Pearl jumped up and grabbed them. Then a couple in a paddle boat. Then a very confused puppy. Lapis laughed as the Crystal Gems, sworn to protect all life on Earth, were forced to abandon the fight to save them.

But she'd forgotten to take Jasper into account. The orange Quartz ignored the organic life raining down around her and took a few steps back, away from the badly damaged building. Then she summoned her helmet and spin-dashed into the structure. There was a loud creaking noise, and the entire building collapsed. Lapis dropped several metres before she was able to halt her fall, but before she could fly away, Jasper leapt forward and grabbed her by the ankle. "Well," she commented, switching her grip to Lapis's wrist. "Doesn't this feel familiar?"

"J-Jasper!" Lapis struggled to break free. She'd forgotten just how much physically stronger the other gem was. "What are you doing, teaming up with them!? They betrayed Homeworld, they shattered your Diamond!"

"I'm not teaming up with _them_ , I'm teaming up against _you_ ," Jasper said flatly.

She drew back a fist, intending to punch the other gem in the face, and Lapis struggled harder. "Wait! We- we can work together against them! We could be Malachite again!"

Jasper's grip slackened and her expression twisted into one of disgust. She knew it was a trick, that if she agreed, Lapis would take control all over again and use her to destroy not only the Crystal Gems, but Peridot as well, but there was a small and shameful part of her that wished she could say 'yes' and leech off of Lapis's power again. She shook her head to try and dismiss that thought. "You can't be serious."

"No, not really." Lapis suddenly yanked her arm free and flew back out of range. "I just thought it might distract you." She gestured with her other arm and chains flew out of the water and wrapped around Jasper. "I have no intention of joining you in the water this time. But don't worry!" She waved at the Crystal Gems, who suddenly found themselves bound with chains too. The few people who hadn't already run away decided that this was the point where they should probably do so. "You'll still have plenty of co-"

She froze rigid and stared down at her midriff in disbelief. At the Stop sign that had flown across the parking lot and skewered her body. Her eyes rose to meet Peridot's empty gaze, and then, without any further sound, she poofed, leaving only her gem and bracelet behind.

Garnet was the first to react. "Check on her!" she yelled, and ran forward to bubble Lapis's gem before she could try reforming. Pearl and Amethyst nodded and made to move towards their injured friend, but before they could take more than two steps forward, an orange blur sped past them and caught Peridot just as she collapsed again.

"Hey, Peridot. Nice work," Jasper said gruffly.

Upon hearing her escort's voice, Peridot smiled and opened her mouth to speak, but all that came out was static. "Don't try and talk," Amethyst said quickly. "Just take it easy, we can fix this. Steven can fix this. Probably."

"Where _is_ Steven? And Greg?" Pearl said anxiously.

Peridot tried to speak again. Her entire form warped and flickered and Jasper almost dropped her in surprise. "Hey! Don't do that!"

"I doubt she's doing it on purpose," Pearl scolded. "Garnet? What do we do, should we try taking her to the fountain ourselves?"

"With what?" Garnet said dryly, gesturing towards the flattened police car. "Don't worry, Steven will be here-"

Lion chose that moment to run into the parking lot, with Greg and Steven on his back, and skidded to a halt beside her. "Shortly," Garnet finished.

"Peridot!" Steven slid ungainly down from Lion's back and ran over to her side. Jasper frowned and moved her away from him, but he gave her a reassuring smile. "It's OK, I got this. I inherited my mom's healing powers."

"Healing powers?" Jasper repeated suspiciously. She vaguely recalled hearing rumours that Rose Quartz had healing powers, but she wasn't entirely convinced this small, squishy creature had the same power. Still, she reminded herself, he had her gem and shield. Maybe it was possible. She sighed and lowered Peridot carefully to the ground. "Fine. Do it."

Steven took a deep breath and slobbered into the palm of his hand. Then he pressed his hand against Peridot's gemstone. Everybody waited with bated breath.

Nothing happened.

"It didn't work!" Jasper yelled.

"S-sometimes it doesn't!" Steven stammered. "Let me try again!"

"No, leave her alone! You'll make it worse!" Jasper grabbed him by the back of his t-shirt and raised him into the air. In desperation, Steven spat at Peridot's face, eliciting an angry hiss from her.

"Stop that!" Pearl shouted, and snatched Steven out of her grasp. "He's only trying to help!"

" _Trying_ isn't good enough!" Jasper shouted back.

Garnet sighed and stepped between them. "We also have Rose's Fountain."

"But you just said-" Amethyst began.

"And Lion." Garnet waved towards the animal in question, who was standing patiently next to a slightly shell-shocked Greg. "Steven. Go."

Steven nodded, and before Jasper could stop him, he darted past her, grabbed Peridot around the waist and leapt onto Lion's back. Lion immediately roared, jumped into a portal and vanished, taking the two young gems with him.

"So… what happened?" Greg asked, leaning against the crushed police car for support.

"Dude! I was about to ask you the same question!" Amethyst exclaimed. "Sunset Beach City? Really? I thought Garnet told you to head _away_ from the coast, not aim for a new one! And where'd you and Steven _go_? You missed the whole thing!"

"Steven bubbled us and Lapis threw us in the lake." Greg pointed over at the lake, where a small crowd of people had now gathered. "Then Lion showed up, but instead of bringing us back here, he started chasing geese."

Garnet nodded. Deep down, she suspected Lion had deliberately kept Steven and Greg out of the way, knowing it was too dangerous for them to be there. "Well, as you saw, Lapis cracked Peridot's gem." Greg gasped in horror, and she hurried to reassure him. "Peridot got her own back though and stabbed her with a Stop sign. She's poofed and bubbled."

"Yeah, it was awesome," Amethyst said with a wide grin.

"Right." Greg nodded towards Jasper. "And this is…?"

"Jasper," Jasper growled. "You must be the other genetic contribution."

Greg blinked. "Uh, I'm Steven's father, if that's what you mean?"

"That is what she means," Garnet confirmed.

"Speaking of Steven," Pearl added, "shouldn't we be making a move to meet him at the fountain?"

"Yeah, we should probably get out of here," Amethyst agreed. She pointed down to the crowd on the lake, who were now making a lot of noise and pointing back at them. "The locals don't look too happy about Jasper busting up their restroom."

"It was a team effort," Garnet pointed out.

"We can take Greg's car," Pearl said brightly. "Where… _is_ your car, Greg?"

Greg pulled a face. "Bottom of the lake."

A short silence followed his words. "Guess we're walking back to Beach City."

xXx

Of course I couldn't kill Peridot, she's my favourite!

Only the epilogue left to go, and then we'll be at the end of what is the single longest thing I have ever written in my entire life. Yikes.


	68. Epilogue - Still Alive

Epilogue - Still Alive

"-And as soon as she climbed out of the fountain, she yelled at me for like, three minutes for spitting on her face," Steven finished.

Connie chuckled. "Honestly, I can't blame her. That's gross."

"I panicked," Steven admitted. "Anyway, after that, we went back to the beach house and cleaned up and talked while we waited for everyone to come back. Dad didn't make it back until yesterday, he had to talk to car people about getting the Dondai out of the lake. Doesn't look like it can be fixed though."

"Is he gonna buy another one?"

Steven turned and looked back at the battered barn behind them. "I dunno. He's paying for the barn and the house to be repaired, and then there's new phones and new DVDs, and he's worried Sunset Beach City might try to make him pay for the damage to the rest stop. I mean, I know he's a millionaire, but he doesn't want to spend it _too_ fast."

Connie nodded. "And what-"

"Hey!" Amethyst poked her head out of the barn door. "It's safe, you can come in now."

The two children scrambled to their feet and entered the barn where Pearl was also waiting. They looked around at the wreckage in awe. "Wow, Peridot really trashed it," Connie said. "In a good way," she hastily added.

"Yup," Amethyst said proudly. "Very thorough trashing, probably couldn't have done better myself. Right!" She tried to look serious and almost succeeded. "Steven. All the stuff from Peridot's side needs to be bubbled. Her clothes, her books, her tools, any DVDs Lapis didn't manage to get her hands on. Send it all to your room so it doesn't get mixed up with the bubbled gems or anything."

"I'll be helping," Pearl added brightly.

Steven saluted. "OK!"

"Connie, you're with me," she continued. "All this stuff on Lapis's side, we need to chuck it in the skip."

Connie frowned slightly. "All of it?"

"Yeah." Amethyst nodded. "We already did a quick look and pretty much all of it's ruined. I mean, I guess you can keep any books if they're not _too_ badly damaged…"

"No, that's OK," Connie said quickly. She didn't really want to keep anything Lapis had owned. But still… "I was kinda thinking more of Goodwill."

"Oh, right. Gotcha." Amethyst nodded. "Sure, make a pile. Oh, and keep an eye out for any tools. Lapis took most of Peridot's away. We found some of them already, but there might be a few more around."

"Yes, ma'am." Connie nodded and got to work. It wasn't a particularly pleasant job. Amethyst hadn't been exaggerating when she'd said it was pretty much all ruined; even the few books she found that didn't have smoke damage were swollen with damp. As a bibliophile, it made her a little sad. As Peridot's friend, throwing away Lapis's possessions turned out to be rather cathartic. She picked yet another armful of bedraggled books and uncovered several small, dirty beads. "Huh." She tossed the books aside and bent down to examine them further. A 'p', a 'd' and a star. "Amethyst, what are these?"

"What are what?" Amethyst came to stand next to her and squinted. "They look like beads."

"Yeah… that's what I thought, I just thought it was weird they were with Lapis's stuff," Connie said, not entirely sure if Amethyst was playing dumb. "Should I throw them in the skip?"

"Yeah, sure," Amethyst turned away. Then a thought occurred to her and she spun back around. "Wait, gimmee those! Steven!" she yelled.

"What's up?" Steven asked.

"You brought Lapis and Peridot bracelets, right?" Amethyst asked. She held out the beads. "These are from Peridot's, aren't they?"

Steven took the beads and rolled them between his fingers. "It looks like it," he said slowly. "I always wondered why she stopped wearing it."

Connie glanced from one serious face to the other. "We should go and give them to her," she said with forced cheer, trying to lighten the atmosphere a little. "I bet she'll be really happy to have them back."

"Yeah, but you can't exactly make a bracelet with three beads," Amethyst pointed out.

"Well, no," Connie admitted. "But it'll be like, a symbolic thing. We can tell her we're looking for the others, and if they don't show up, we can get some new beads to fill in the gaps, but it'll still be nice for her to have _some_ of the original beads."

"Well _I_ think that's a wonderful idea," Pearl called from the other side of the barn. She beamed proudly at Connie. "Why don't you both go and do that now?"

"OK," the two children said in unison, and ran out of the barn into the sunshine.

Amethyst scowled as she watched them go. "Great, now I gotta do the rest of this on my own," she complained.

"You enjoy messing with garbage," Pearl pointed out.

"Yeah, but this is _Lapis's_ garbage." Amethyst pouted. "And it's taking ages. Can't I just set it on fire again?"

"No!"

xXxXx

"How's this look?" Greg unrolled the blueprints and pointed to the edge of the house plan. "This is where the living room wall is at the moment, but we can easily cut a door in and add an extra room on the outside. We'd lose some of the deck area though."

"We could extend the deck, couldn't we?" Garnet suggested.

"Yeah…" Greg looked thoughtfully down at the old plans he'd drawn up years earlier when they'd first built the beach house. "It'd be a bit more work though, what with putting in the support foundations and all."

"That's all right." Garnet glanced up at Steven's loft, where Peridot was sat, huddled in an oversized sweater and watching television, and lowered her voice. "Work will help take her mind off it."

Greg nodded, remembering how the work had helped him when Steven moved in with the gems. It had been hard, giving up his son, but building the home he lived in had given him a little peace of mind. "Yeah, you're right."

At that moment, the door swung open and Jasper walked in. "All the wood's stacked outside."

"Thank you," Garnet said politely. Her eyes followed the large gem as she walked across the floor, heading for the stairs. It still felt deeply bizarre to have Jasper walking around their house instead of Lapis, but she had to admit that the other gem was making an effort to get on with them, even if it was only for Peridot's sake.

"Hey, uh, Jasper?" Greg called after her. "Are you sure you don't want a room too? It's just, it'll be easier to add it in now, while we're doing all this work."

"Thanks, but I'll be fine," Jasper said dismissively.

"OK. But uh, if you change your mind, I'm sure it won't be a problem," he said cheerfully.

"Come on, Greg," Garnet interjected. "Let's go and start measuring the deck."

The two of them went outside, leaving Jasper and Peridot alone. It didn't escape Peridot's attention that Garnet and Greg had waited for somebody else to show up before they went outside, but she appreciated it. She didn't like being left alone any more.

They watched television in silence for several minutes, and then when the ads came on, Peridot spoke. "So you're really not staying then?"

Jasper shook her head. "I'll stay while they fix up this place and build your room," she said brusquely. "Just to make sure they don't stick you out in that barn again. After that…" She trailed off uncertainly.

"Will you try to return to Homeworld?" Peridot asked, a little anxiously. "If the Rubies return?"

"Don't know." Jasper shrugged. "Guess it depends on why they came looking for me in the first place. I don't particularly fancy being reprimanded because _you_ insulted Yellow Diamond. And explaining Lazuli is going to be a tough one. Sorry," she added as Peridot flinched. "If I _do_ go back though, I won't say a word about the Cluster. Or the Crystal Gems."

"Really?" Peridot turned to look up at her.

"Yeah. What's the point, anyway? Rose isn't here, and nobody's going to care about the others, not when they think the Cluster's about to emerge." She scowled moodily. "Don't get me wrong though. I don't like them, and I'm still pissed they crashed the ship and threw away your limb enhancers. But…" Her expression softened slightly. "Watching them scramble to try and get to you before Lazuli did… well, it kinda gave me a little respect for them," she admitted. Then she glowered at the other gem. "Don't tell any of them I said that."

"Sorry," Peridot said with a small smile, shaking her head. "But I have been instructed not to keep any more secrets."

The warp pad chimed as she spoke, signalling the arrival of Connie, Steven and Amethyst. "What secrets now?" Amethyst called up.

"Jasper was just asking me not to tell you that she was impressed by your efforts to come to my aid," Peridot called back as Jasper groaned loudly behind her.

"Yeah?" Amethyst grinned and hopped up the stairs. "We were pretty good, weren't we? 'Course, it would've been helpful if Lion arrived _before_ the nick of time."

"It would've been helpful if your communications system hadn't broken down," Jasper grumbled.

"We're working on it." Amethyst pulled a phone out of her gem as she spoke and casually tossed it in the air. "Greg's setting up a family phone plan, I'm sure if you ask nice, he can put you on it too-"

"Is that Buck's phone!?" Steven interrupted as he caught sight of it. "You didn't give it back!?"

"No, it's _my_ phone," Amethyst corrected. "Anyway, he's got a new one."

Steven groaned loudly and slapped a hand against his head. "You guys can't keep stealing phones from people! You'll get in trouble! _I'll_ get in trouble!"

"Right." Amethyst smiled a guilty smile and decided not to mention that Garnet was actually the one who had Buck's old phone now. "So if you don't completely hate us, does that mean you're thinking about sticking around?" she asked Jasper, quickly changing the subject. Her eyes suddenly lit up. "Oooh, if you stay, you could come wrestling with me! Just imagine it; the Purple Puma and the Peach Panther!"

"Peach Panther?" Jasper and Peridot repeated in unison.

"Yeah!" Amethyst gestured enthusiastically. "I did consider 'Tangerine Tiger' because of the stripes, but then I thought people might think you're connected to Tiger Millionaire-"

"I don't mind," Steven interrupted. "Tangerine Tiger could be Tiger Millionaire's long-lost relative, separated by a tragic family feud, reunited by a chance encounter."

Jasper leaned over to whisper in Peridot's ear. "Do you know what they're talking about?"

"I haven't the faintest idea," Peridot whispered back. She cleared her throat and raised her voice. "So, does your presence here mean that you've finished work on the barn?"

"Er… sort of," Amethyst admitted. "Pearl kicked me out because I set fire to the stuff in the skip. I thought I'd grab something to eat before I head back. She might have calmed down by then. Speaking of the stuff in the barn though," she added brightly. "Connie and Steven have something for you."

Connie, who'd discreetly disappeared into the bathroom to clean the beads, now stepped forward and held them out in her cupped hands. "Here. These are yours, right?"

"Oh!" Peridot gasped in amazement. "From my bracelet! Where did you _find_ them?"

"They were under some books in the barn," Connie said. "I didn't see any others, but we'll keep looking-"

"No, no, that's not necessary," Peridot interrupted, shaking her head. "I have the rest in my gem." She carefully took the beads from Connie and stared at them for a moment. "It didn't even occur to me that she might have hidden the others."

There was an awkward silence, and then Connie spoke again. "Um, do you guys have like, some embroidery thread or elastic or something? We could rethread it now."

Amethyst shrugged. "Maybe? I dunno, that's more Pearl's department."

"I could check the junk drawer in the kitchen," Steven offered, but Connie was already shaking her head.

"Let's go into town and buy some!" she suggested eagerly. "Then Peridot can choose the colour she wants."

Half an hour later, Steven, Connie and Peridot entered Fish Stew Pizza. "Hi, Kiki," Steven greeted. "Could we have a medium pizza and a pair of scissors please?"

"That sounds like in interesting combo," Kiki joked. "Can't say it's one I'm tempted to try myself."

The children laughed politely. "We just need to fix Peridot's bracelet," Steven explained. "We'll bring them right back."

"Sure, here you go." Kiki handed over a pair of scissors. "Daddy will bring your pizza over when it's ready."

Steven thanked her and handed the scissors over to Peridot, who immediately made them float between her outstretched hands. "You're getting good at that," he said encouragingly.

"Yeah, it's cool," Connie agreed, sitting down at a table. "So is that your gem weapon then? Metal powers?"

"I think it must be." Peridot sat down as well and took a skein of sparkly green thread and the beads out of her gemstone.

"So you can come on missions with us!" Steven said excitedly. "I mean, when you're ready," he quickly added.

"Hmm," Peridot said noncommittally. "Unfortunately, such a power is reliant upon the amount of metal in the vicinity. I still don't think it would've been of much use in the ice caves." She began to thread the beads on the thread. A question nagged at her. "Steven?" she finally asked.

"Yeah?"

"What exactly _was_ that beast in the caves?"

Steven stared at her in surprise for several seconds. "A… corrupted gem? We said that, didn't we?" he said, a little uncertainly.

"Yes, that terminology was used," Peridot said. "But I don't understand what that _means_. Until we encountered it, I had been assuming the phrase was being used interchangeably with 'fusion monster' and 'gem mutant', but that creature was something entirely different."

"You don't know about corruption!?" Steven gaped at her. "But… doesn't it happen on Homeworld too?"

Peridot shook her head impatiently. "There's nothing like that on Homeworld."

Steven gasped loudly. "I can't believe we didn't tell you about corruption!"

Connie nudged him with an elbow. "You're still not telling her now," she pointed out. "Do you want me to tie that off for you?" she added to Peridot.

"Please." Peridot held out her arm and Connie began tying the threaded beads around her wrist.

"Right. Sorry." Steven nodded apologetically. "Well, I don't really know how it works or anything, but corrupted gems used to be… well, regular gems, like you and Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl. Something happened and it changed them… sort of made them sick, and now they don't remember who they are any more. We bubble them so they can't hurt themselves or anyone else."

"Oh." Peridot blinked at this explanation. "That… explains a lot, actually."

Connie snipped off the excess thread and handed the scissors back to Peridot. "Apparently Steven's mom tried to cure them, but didn't manage it. Steven might be able to though."

"Yeah." Steven scowled. "If I can ever get my stupid healing powers to work properly again."

"You mean you haven't tried spitting in the faces of these creatures?" Peridot said dryly.

Connie let out a snort of laughter at that. Steven and Peridot stared at her and then began to laugh too. They were still giggling when Kofi Pizza slammed their food down on the table and stomped away, clearly infuriated by something. "I should return these scissors now," Peridot said, and stood up.

Connie picked up a piece of pizza, but instead of taking a bite out of it, she watched Peridot as she stood at the counter, chatting to Kiki and Jenny, who had come to help her twin with the evening rush. "Hey, Steven?" she said quietly. "Speaking of bubbled gems… what's going to happen to Lapis?"

Steven stopped eating and put his half-eaten slice of pizza down. "I don't know," he admitted. "I hate that she's a prisoner again. I know it's not like the mirror; she's sort of frozen in time there and unaware of anything that's going on, but it still feels wrong. But we can't just let her out either." He looked over at Peridot as well. Jenny was laughing as she showed her something on her phone. "She did something really bad to Peridot, but she just won't accept that it was wrong." He sighed heavily. "Garnet did say that in the future, if like, my dream powers get stronger, I could try communicating with her in the bubble or something - under strict supervision," he clarified at Connie's expression of concern. "But _only_ if Peridot's OK with it."

Connie nodded in understanding. She felt bad for Steven, but she couldn't help feeling more than a little relief at hearing that Lapis wasn't going to be around any time soon. She picked her pizza and began eating and Peridot soon returned. "Jenny says we need to go back to the arcade," she informed them. "Sour Cream's mother has banned him for the week because of his eyes and I have been instructed to defeat his high scores while he's incapacitated."

"Not today, I want to watch!" Connie begged at once. "I have to go home soon, but I can come over after school tom-" Her words were drowned out by Kofi as he burst out of the kitchen and stomped over to the table next to them, slamming the pizza down with enough force to rattle their own cutlery. "Wow, he's really angry about something."

Peridot nodded. "Jenny says his phone was stolen from the car. Again."

xXxXx

There was peace in the beach house. The broken windows and frames had all been repaired. Greg had retired to his van for the night. Pearl was in her room. Garnet had stepped onto the warp pad half an hour previously with a sack of cement. Amethyst had successfully persuaded Jasper to go out and watch a wrestling match with her. This left Steven and Peridot alone, and they had decided that this was the perfect time in which to practise Peridot's gaming skills with another go at Avenues Of Anger. But after her avatar accidentally clubbed him over the head with a pipe for a third time, Steven paused the game and frowned at her. "Peridot? Are you OK? I mean, I know that's a stupid question right now, but you seem distracted. I know you're better at this game that this."

"I'm… OK," Peridot said slowly. "I was just thinking about the arcade."

Steven nodded slowly, clueless as to where this conversation was heading. "Oooookay…?"

"And… that dancing game," she continued.

"Oh, right." Steven nodded. "Well, I don't _think_ Mr Smiley thinks we had anything to do with that, so we should be-"

"No, not that." Peridot shook her head and looked seriously at him. "I mean, I would like to attempt fusion again."

"Oh. Oh!" Steven looked started. "W-what, really? Are you sure? After…?"

She knew he was speaking about Lapis; after they'd returned from the fountain, he'd admitted to her that Lapis had told him what she'd tried to do. But she didn't want that to be her only memory of fusion, and she told him as much. "I don't want my only experiences with fusion to be bad ones," she said firmly. "I would like to try again, properly, with someone I like and trust."

"Um, OK." Steven couldn't help being flattered. "I get that. I guess I just didn't expect it so soon."

"Camp Pining Hearts says you should get back on the horse as soon as possible, although they seem to use that phrase for any challenging situation, not just horses," Peridot explained. "So I thought…" Then she paused. "That's… not a television lie, is it?"

"No, no, it makes sense," he reassured her. "When something goes wrong and you get hurt, you gotta try again. If you leave it too long, it gets bigger and scarier. OK!" He sat up straight. "We'll try it again." He pursed his lips. "I'm assuming the game just made you think about it and you don't _actually_ want to fuse in the arcade itself, right?"

"No!" Peridot thought of all the people who'd been watching her play Dance Rebellion and shuddered. "I would prefer to attempt this without an audience."

"What about an audience of one?" Steven suggested, his eyes lighting up. "Would it be OK if Connie was there too? We could introduce you to Stevonnie!"

"Stevonnie?" Peridot recognised the word as a portmanteau of the two children's names and the notion intrigued her. "Is that…?"

Steven grinned. "You'll have to wait and see."

xXxXx

"Maestro!" Connie gestured dramatically at the tape deck balanced on a convenient rock. "Let there be… music!"

Steven nodded solemnly and pressed play. As the music began to play, the two children began to dance, and then they stood back-to-back and held hands. Peridot watched in awe as Steven's gem glowed until both children turned into one being. Stevonnie grinned down at the small gem and held out a hand. "Hi! I'm so happy to finally meet you!"

"Hello." Peridot cautiously held out her own hand and let the fusion shake it. "You must be Stevonnie."

Stevonnie laughed a little self-consciously. "That's me. So, um, what do you think?"

Peridot walked in a slow circle around them. She'd never seen anything like it; Stevonnie was somehow exactly what she'd expected and nothing like she'd expected. And they were tall. "I… don't really understand this," she admitted. "I never suspected an organic lifeform would be able to fuse like this. But I don't understand Steven in general," she quickly added as Stevonnie's face fell.

"But, do you like me?" Stevonnie asked anxiously.

"Of course!" Peridot reassured them. Then she narrowed her eyes. "Although I must admit I am a little envious of your increased stature."

Stevonnie grinned. "Sorry. I guess this means I'm out of the Shorty Squad."

Then they glowed and unfused, and once again, Connie and Steven stood before her. "OK, so do you want to try now?" Steven asked, and held out his hand.

Peridot nodded and stepped forward, but to her dismay, she discovered she didn't know what to do. Steven and Connie happily moved their bodies in time to the music, but Peridot couldn't work out what to do with her feet, and her arms hung awkwardly by her sides. After several seconds, Connie frowned and reached over to turn down the music. "You said it almost happened with Dance Rebellion, right?" she checked. "Do you think it was because it told you what to do?"

"Maybe?" Peridot shrugged helplessly. "Steven wasn't dancing though."

"But do you think an _actual_ dance, with set steps might help?" Connie persisted. "You know, something like the Macarena-"

Peridot stiffened, remembering the cold water surrounding her body, forcing her to move against her will. "No!"

Connie opened her mouth and then shut it again and looked Steven for help. "I don't think it was just the steps that did it," he said, coming to their aid. "I think it was more… we were having fun. You were doing really well on the game, and everyone was cheering you on and it was a good atmosphere… right?"

Peridot nodded slowly. "That sounds like an accurate description of the experience."

"I see." Connie looked thoughtful. "So what you need to do then, is stop concentrating on fusion, and start concentrating on fun." Her eyes narrowed. "We need to play popstars."

xXxXx

Steven led them into Rose's old room in the Temple. Peridot made a move towards her bubbled clothes, but the boy shook his head. "Wait, watch this." He put his hands on his hips and addressed the room. "Room, give us a popstar dressing room!"

There was a puff of smoke and both Connie and Peridot exclaimed with delight when the clouds around them disappeared, to be replaced by racks of clothing and dressing tables with tall mirrors and lightbulbs around the edges. For the next twenty minutes, they simply played dress-up, trying on ever-more elaborate outfits and letting the simulated make-up artists cover their faces and bodies with glitter and sparkles.

"How do I look?" Steven asked, giving a twirl so that the cape he wore fanned out around him.

The sequinned suit he wore glittered under dim lights and Connie shielded her eyes. "If anyone shines a light directly at you, they'll go blind," she reported. Then she grinned. "Perfect!"

"Great!" Steven grinned back too. "You look good too." He squinted slightly. "I think." The glitter made it difficult to see clearly. "Where's Peridot?"

Connie giggled. "Putting on the tallest pair of heels I have ever seen in my life."

"Ta da!" As if summoned, Peridot stepped forward and posed happily. The heels were so tall, she was almost on tiptoe, but she didn't care. Connie and Steven clapped and whistled.

Then Steven addressed the room again. "Now we need a concert stage. With laser lights and fireworks and one of those sparkly ball things."

"And confetti falling from the ceiling!" Connie added.

"And confetti falling from the ceiling," Steven repeated.

"And a live band! And acrobats!" Connie continued, getting carried away. "And one of those screens behind us that does cool visuals while we sing! And a piano! Set on fire!"

"Uh, yeah, and all that." Steven turned to Peridot. "What about you? Any requests?"

Peridot thought hard. "A screen to display the lyrics of the songs?"

"A teleprompter," Steven commanded.

"And Percy and Pierre in the audience?" she said hopefully.

"And Per-" Steven stopped and began to laugh. "You know what? Sure. Percy and Pierre in the audience! Front row! But we should probably stop there or we'll overwhelm the room. So, what song should we sing?" He gave Peridot a sidelong glance. "And… any we don't sing?"

"I know!" Connie said before Peridot could speak. "What about Superdude?"

Peridot and Steven looked blankly at her. "I don't think I know that one," Steven admitted.

"My parents don't listen to much other than classical music and soundtracks, but Mum took me to a staff party at the hospital once, and they played it," Connie said rapidly. "It's got all these actions in it, like clap your hands, and sleep, and hitch a ride, and it was just really fun."

It didn't sound remotely like MCYA, so Peridot agreed and Steven ordered the band to begin playing. The trio stepped out onto the stage and the simulated audience went wild. In the front row, Percy and Pierre stop devouring each other's faces just long enough to cheer and throw their neck scarves at the stage. Then the music began. At first, Steven and Peridot followed Connie's lead, but the lyrics were simple and the actions were easy, although Peridot lagged a little behind, unsure what it actually meant to 'hitch a ride' or 'ski', but by the second verse - which was the first verse, only faster - they were all performing in unison. By the time the third verse began (which was the first verse again, but even faster), they were breathless and sweaty, but having way too much fun to stop.

"Kiss!" They blew a kiss towards the screaming audience.

"Brush your hair!" They mimed brushing their hair.

"Give us a wave!" The audience did an epic Mexican wave in response.

"Aaaand Superdude!"

Peridot had forgotten just how unstable her heels were. As she flung an arm out in front of her and kicked a leg back, mimicking the flight pose of the Man Of Metal, her shoe skidded on the shiny floor and she felt herself beginning to topple over. Without hesitation, Steven leapt forward before she could fall off the stage and into Percy and Pierre's laps. There was a bright glow and suddenly, in their place stood someone else.

Who immediately fell off the stage.

But instead of flattening the audience, they found themselves crowdsurfing through the cheering people. Connie stared after them, feeling a tiny pang of jealousy. But it only lasted a second and she dropped her own microphone and leapt off the stage as well. Fireworks exploded above their heads and confetti poured down as they were bounced around, until finally, they were pushed back onstage, next to the burning piano. "You did it!" Connie screamed.

"We did it!" The unnamed fusion screamed back. Then they screamed some more. Whether it was with excitement or terror, Connie didn't know. Probably both.

"What's your name?" Connie shouted over the noise of the audience.

"I don't know!"

"And how do you feel?"

"I don't know!"

Suddenly the fusion glowed and separated and Steven and Peridot fell to the floor. Steven was the first to recover and bounced straight back onto his feet. "We did it!" he screamed again.

"I know!" Connie began to laugh and reached down to help Peridot to her feet.

Peridot took the proffered hand and shakily stood up. "That was…" She trailed off. "It was…"

"I know!" Connie screamed again. "Isn't it great!?"

"It's uh, it's something," Peridot conceded. Then a thought occurred to her. "If Steven can fuse with gems _and_ humans, I wonder if he could possibly fuse with both of them at the same time?" she mused aloud.

Steven's eyes lit up. "We could _all_ be a giant woman! All three of us! Think of the possibilities!" He began ticking them off on his hands. "We could all go and see the new Dogcopter movie and only have to pay for one ticket, we could eat and Peridot wouldn't have to spit it out, we could go on that roller coaster at Funland, we could go to a real concert and still see over tall people, we could reach the top shelves in stores…"

"Before you get carried away planning your next fusion, maybe you should tell the gems about this one," Connie suggested. "You know Garnet's going to want to hear about it."

Steven nodded. The background noise was beginning to get annoying, so he clapped his hands. Immediately everything vanished and they were magically back in their original clothes. "Oh. That's useful."

They stepped out of the Temple and into the beach house. Once again, Garnet and Greg were pouring over blueprints, but they looked up and smiled. "Hi, Connie. Do you need a ride home today?" Greg offered. "I've got to go to the hardware store and pick up some more cement, I can drop you off on the way."

Connie glanced over at the clock. Her mother wasn't due to come and collect her for at least another half hour and although she didn't really want to go home early, she realised it would be a perfect opportunity for Steven and Peridot to tell Garnet what had just happened. "Thanks, that would be great. I'll call my parents and tell them I'm on my way."

As she followed Greg out of the door, Garnet glanced over at Peridot and Steven, who appeared to be having a quiet argument. "Peridot. Why don't you come and have a look at the plans?" She smiled. "After all, it's your room."

"We fused!" Steven blurted out.

Peridot groaned and held her face in her hands. "I meant… never mind."

Garnet stared at them both in open-mouthed silence, and then she screamed and clapped her hands together in glee. "I'm so proud of you both! Tell me everything! No!" Behind her shades, her eyes lit up greedily. "Wait! Could you _show_ me!?"

"Sure!" Steven said at once.

"No!" Peridot said at the same time. She flinched and stepped backwards as the both looked at her in surprise. "I- I mean, um, maybe later or, um, a-another time-"

Garnet's expression softened at once. "Peridot, it's OK. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked. You don't have to if you don't want to."

"You don't want to!?" Steven cried in dismay before Garnet could stamp on his foot and stop him. "Didn't you like it? I thought you liked it!"

"Steven…" Garnet said warningly.

"I did like it, but-" Peridot began.

"But not enough to want to do it again," Steven said a little bitterly.

Peridot opened her mouth to object, and then shut it again. Her expression hardened and without a word, she stomped past Garnet and Steven, into the bathroom, and slammed the door. Garnet pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed deeply. "Steven."

"What?" he said sulkily. He knew he was being unreasonable, but he still couldn't help being offended that Peridot hadn't leapt at the opportunity to fuse again.

"Tell me about your fusion," she said softly. "How did it happen, how did you feel?"

"It was…" Steven sighed and tried to think back. "It didn't work at first, so Connie said we should stop trying to fuse and just have fun. And we _were_ having fun. Then Peridot nearly fell over and I grabbed her and that's when it happened."

"And?" Garnet prompted gently. "Was it still fun then?"

Steven bit his lip. "I… I don't know," he admitted, echoing the answers they'd given Connie back in the room. He glanced over at Garnet, who was staring at him intently, and lowered his eyes. "It was at first. But then Connie started asking us questions and Peridot panicked because she didn't know how to answer and… and I sort of… pushed her away." He flushed with shame. "I didn't mean to! It's just, they weren't _my_ feelings, but they were in my head and I didn't know what to do!"

Garnet nodded. She'd expected to hear something like this. "You're both very new to fusion, and Peridot's experiences with it have been extremely different to yours. You've always been very excited about it, but she's only recently discovered it doesn't have to be a weapon. And then before she could experience that for herself, Lapis tried to use it against her. Of course it scares her, even with you. It's not surprising that your emotions conflicted." She smiled slightly. "Even the strongest fusions can fall apart under those circumstances."

"Right." Steven remembered Keystone Motel. He turned and looked at the closed bathroom door and groaned. "I need to apologise to her."

"Yeah, you do." She grinned at him. "I'll leave you to do that, I'm going over to the barn to see how Pearl and Jasper are getting on." She rolled up the blueprints and stepped over to the warp pad. "Ask her what colour curtains she'd like in her room."

Steven watched her leave. Then he took a deep breath and walked over to the bathroom and knocked on the door. "Peridot?"

There were several seconds of silence, but just as he raised his fist to knock again, she finally replied. "What do _you_ want?"

"I want to apologise." He leaned his forehead against the wood. "I'd prefer to do it face-to-face, but if you don't want to talk to me or anything, I understand."

There were another few seconds of silence, and then he heard the lock click and backed away quickly before the opening door could hit him in the face. Peridot glared at him through a small crack in the door. "I'm listening."

"I'm sorry," he said at once. "I shouldn't have agreed to us fusing again without discussing it with you first. And I shouldn't have got mad with you for saying no. Garnet was right, you don't have to do it if you don't want to and I was a jerk for complaining about it."

"Yeah, you were," Peridot muttered, but there was no malice in her voice. She sighed and opened the door completely. "I did… enjoy… the experience," she said hesitantly. "But… I found it overwhelming. I couldn't do it again, certainly not on command." She looked down at the floor. "I'd like to try it again one day, but for now, I just need to… process it."

Steven nodded quickly. "OK. I won't try and push you again, I'm sorry."

Peridot smiled slightly. "I accept your apology."

"So, um, do you want to come and watch TV or something?" he said hopefully. "Or stay in the bathroom?"

"If you don't mind, I think I'd prefer to stay in the bathroom for the present," she said and began to close the door again.

"Ah, wait!" he cried. Peridot paused and looked expectantly at him. "Garnet says what colour curtains do you want in your room?"

As always, the mention of her new room gave her a warm glow in her chest and she smiled. "Dark green."

"Got it." He stepped backwards and the door closed, although this time, Peridot left it unlocked.

She listened to the found of his retreating footsteps, and then sat down in the corner by the bathtub and sighed heavily. Even though he'd apologised, she still couldn't help feeling bad for taking some of the shine off of his first gem fusion by not enjoying it as much as she'd hoped.

And yet… somehow she still felt better. She'd successfully fused, on her own terms. Steven hadn't taken over her mind or tried to force her to stay fused, and Yellow Diamond hadn't burst into the room and shattered them on the spot. True, it had been scary, she hadn't known who she was and Steven's excitement in her mind had been an uncomfortable feeling, but she'd _done_ it. Next time, she'd know what to expect. Next time, she wouldn't hear Lapis's voice in her head, whispering loathing and lies.

She idly spun the beads on her bracelet. She hadn't told Steven or the gems everything that Lapis had done to her. Even after everything they'd witnessed, a little part of her still thought perhaps it was just too much to be believable. And now she'd discovered another bit of spite she hadn't even been aware of. Even though Lapis was bubbled and locked away, she was still finding more evidence of the other gem's hatred. Perhaps when she unbubbled all her clothes, she'd find all the buttons torn off and the seams ripped out. But… if that did happen, she knew her friends would immediately offer to help fix or replace them. Greg had already ordered a new copy of the Camp Pining Hearts Season Two Winter Holiday Special for her.

She heard the front door open as Greg himself entered and greeted his son. A few minutes later, the warp pad chimed and Pearl and Jasper's voices sounded faintly through the wall as they argued about something. Then the front door slammed again and Amethyst's voice joined in. Finally the warp pad chimed again as Garnet returned. Peridot pushed the door open a little and peeped out at the mixed group of humans, gems and Steven, all the people who'd rushed to save her, as they gathered around the blueprints and made suggestions for the new house extension. A week ago, she'd truly wondered if they cared about her as much as she cared about them.

Now she knew they did.

-FIN-

xXx

AND IT'S DONE! Thank you everybody for joining me on this! Without all of your reviews... I would've carried on writing, but it wouldn't have given me anywhere near as much satisfaction. I mean it, thank you to everybody, even the people who disagreed with some of my interpretations of the characters, or who outright hated it, or even the original Kevin anon (although I did have to delete some of their reviews for bashing other reviewers, not cool, dude), but mostly to the people who gave me nice reviews. I'm not going to be all coy about it, I'm only human and your reviews were the best and made me smile. Big thumbs up to you guys.

Now I'm going to take a break for a week or two, get my hair cut and watch every single Leprechaun movie back to back, because my movie viewing habits are trash (although my taste in television is impeccable) and then I'm going to write up the scenario me and Blue came up with way back when Season 3 titles were released and we saw 'Greg the Babysitter' listed. Here's a hint - we were absolutely, 100% wrong.

Thank you all again for reading! I'll be back!


End file.
